James Gong: The Big Hit

James Gong: The Big Hit
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James Gong is training for his black belt in taekwondo. One night a camera crew turns up at training for an episode of My Life.<br />James is sparring a white belt who gets carried away and hammers James' foot. Sparks fly in James' brain and he gasps – all caught on national TV. James responds with a jumping spinning sidekick which obliterates his opponent.<br /> <br />This is the beginning of James' woes at the club, for he has disgraced Mr Cho, the head instructor.<br /> <br />Hollywood Productions just loves James' jumping , spinning sidekick. They decide to star him in their small budget flick, Big Action in Little Town. Unbeknown to James, Hollywood Productions is a scam company that basically produces B grade ‘loser’ movies to offset huge tax bills.<br /> <br />Meanwhile James, who lusts after his sister Caitlin’s best friend, Amber, thinks his sudden film career will curry favour. Not so. If anything, Amber shuns him even more.<br /> <br />Determined to win the love of his life, James tries to learn how to skate, because he knows that Amber fancies a local skater named Spiros. He only succeeds in showing himself up, but James is pathetically immune to the irony and subtleties of life. He figures that all is well with the world and that he’s making vast progress.<br /> <br />To Hollywood Productions’ great horror the flick is so bad that it’s good. People have queued at the premiere and national TV stations have got wind of the huge success of this little budget movie. Big Action in Little Town is going to be a blockbuster!

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Paul Collins. James Gong: The Big Hit

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James Gong – The Big Hit

Paul Collins has a black belt in both taekwondo and ju jitsu. He was trained in kick-boxing by former Australian Heavyweight Kick-boxing Champion, Dana Goodson.

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To finish off we get into some sparring. This is the fun stuff, although some of the white belts get a bit gung ho and clobber you, because they’re always trying to prove themselves. It’s okay for them to injure us higher ranks, but it’s a disgrace for us to hurt one of them. But that’s not fair. How are they going to learn, if not from our mistakes?

I get stuck with Brian Tossa. Really big guy. Two years older than me. His name is spot on – Jay says that in England a ‘tosser’ is the sort of kid who wears his underwear backwards (ouch!). Last week, Tossa gave green-belt Ethan a nosebleed. ‘Left, right, left, left, right,’ smack! A straight jab to Ethan’s face instead of the focus pad.

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