Читать книгу Hidden Springs in Marriage - Petr Krylov - Страница 1

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Introduction

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Cupid’s out there firing arrows every which way,

Sparking wild passion wherever they land…

But only Hymen ties it all together,

For the long haul…

That’s just how it goes, folks…

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This book is laid out like a ‘boot camp’ for anyone curious about the psychology of marriage and the wild world of gender relationships.

The point? To systematically lay bare the hidden mechanisms that decide how all this romantic business actually plays out.

These pages should be useful for anyone who isn’t off living like a monk or calling it quits on love entirely.

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Chapter Introduction

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– Hey girl, hey! Can you tell me how to get to the library?

– I'm about to whaaaaack you real good, then I'll tell you how to crawl to the hospital, you damn nerd! The crisis is still raging out there, regular folks barely have anything to eat, and this jerk wants to read his precious books!

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How did this book come to be?

The Author was seriously inspired by the 2005 flick 'Hitch,' starring Will Smith. The movie tells the story of a private psychologist who specializes in getting his clients married off. Most of his clients are classic outsiders.3

Front and center, we've got Hitch coaching Albert, a low-level clerk, on how to win the heart—and hand—of Allegra, a millionaire.

In the real world, this marriage probably never would've happened, but with Hitch playing matchmaker, it all works out beautifully for both lovebirds.

The movie doesn't really spell out the nitty-gritty of how Hitch pulls off his magic in this or other cases. Only a few of the practical headaches Hitch runs into with his clients actually make it onto the screen.

Which totally makes sense—no one wants to give away their trade secrets and help the competition! And honestly, can a pro really explain things to a newbie, even if they try? Still, the movie makes it clear Hitch is working off some kind of system—and there’s even a wink that it all started with his dissertation.

The author of this book was bugged for ages by the secret behind Hitch’s method.

Little by little, he pieced together enough clues to hazard a guess at how Hitch actually pulled off his magic. Of course, the author’s theories could be a bit off or even totally wrong. Plus, when it comes to figuring out the quirks of marriage and how to fix them, the author and Hitch probably saw things very differently.

Even so, the author decided to lay it all out in a separate book and share his two cents on the subject.

This book is here to give anyone curious about marriage a pretty solid roadmap for how it actually works and what it’s all about.

Having that kind of blueprint—and actually getting it—means you can plot your own moves depending on what’s going on and what you really want. It also helps you set the right, long-term goals and sidestep those unnecessary wipeouts in your love life.

Some readers might think what’s described here is simple and obvious—no rocket science. That’s usually what happens when an Author tries to get their point across with plain talk and relatable examples.

But the real magic of these 'simple' ideas isn’t just that they’re easy and accessible—it’s the whole framework the Author is trying to put together from them.

Think of boxing: it’s made up of basic moves and punches, but it’s the training system that turns a boxer into something a cut above your average street tough.

Throughout this book, the Author will often draw on humanity’s centuries-old experience and wisdom—the stuff people these days love to call ‘esoteric’. That’s because the kinds of questions we explore in this book often cozy up right next to psychology. Psychology, as the name suggests, is all about the soul—not just a self-driving sack of soup bones. And sometimes, to really explain it, you need to take a peek from the angle of classic soul wisdom, not just stick to modern science.4

The Author isn’t pretending to be some all-knowing genius or a prophet in this field. He’s totally open to learning from anyone who’s got a sharper take on things than his own. He’s just trying to build some kind of halfway decent system in a field where nobody’s really managed it yet.

There are two ways to read this book.

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1) 

You could dive into the Author’s wild theories at the start of every Chapter. So, what’s this armchair philosopher come up with this time?

2) 

If you actually want to get something useful out of this book, you can try the ‘simple’ and ‘easy’ exercises at the end of each Chapter. Piece of cake! But if you’re really aiming for something worthwhile, do it your own way—don’t just follow in the Author’s footsteps!

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How you pick what to read next—that’s totally your call.

The Author is convinced that theory should always walk hand in hand with practice. That’s why every Chapter comes with some exercises and questions for you to chew on yourself. Skip this part, and reading the book won’t make much sense.

Let’s be real: no wannabe kung-fu theorist ever became a champion in the wild cage match called life without practice and some good old-fashioned effort.

The exercises and questions in this book might seem pretty basic and straightforward at first. The point is for you, the reader, to answer these and, using your own answers and personal insights, gradually work your way up from the basics to the really tricky stuff.

If you skip building this personal understanding—by dodging the easy questions and convincing yourself you’re already an expert—you’ll just stay stuck where you are. Chances are, you'll wind up right back in the same situation and spot as before. When you’re in deep water, saving yourself is up to you! Everything else usually comes with a steep price tag!

Wishing you the best of luck with this book, dear reader!

Now then, as usual:

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Part Practice questions:

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'Get out of your comfort zone,' they said. 'Take a step towards your destiny.' And then—whoosh!—they threw me out of the plane…6

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1) 

Grab yourself a big, comfy journal and some colorful pens to take notes. Don’t rush—pick them out slowly, until you just know you’ve found 'the one.'

2) 

Check out the movie 'The Rules of Pickup.'

Hitch Method

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3) 

Jot down in your journal the key moments when Albert and Allegra’s whole marriage future was hanging in the balance.

4) 

Make a note in your journal—what exactly was Hitch trying to get Albert to do?

5) 

Write down (here and from now on, by default, in your journal) where Albert goofed up and why.

6) 

Take a wild guess: what did Albert and Allegra actually give each other? Why could their relationship turn out to be win-win and rock-solid?

7) 

So, what do you think Hitch’s clients—those quick cameo couples in the movie—could actually bring to the table for each other?

8) 

In your opinion, what set off all the drama between Hitch and Sara?

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Chapter Consciousness

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Flashback to shop class:

– Vovochka, you made a birdhouse with no holes. How’s a bird supposed to get in there?

– Easy—there’s already one inside!

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Alrighty, let’s dive in.

You know the drill—just about every problem we humans face, including all the marriage and romance stuff, starts right between our ears. But your head’s not just hardware—it’s the software that really counts. It doesn't really matter where or how someone's noggin showed up, it’s all about what’s inside.

Of course, we’re not about to wander off into the weeds with racist theories or developmental pathologies. There’s a sliver of truth in those, sure, but right now we’re after the big picture.

So what is human consciousness, anyway?

Let’s break it down with a simple example—one we've all probably lived through.

Picture this: someone suddenly gets sleepy. What do they do next? That's right – he yawns! On the face of it, it all makes sense. But here's the kicker: if there are other people around, they see that yawn, and, more often than not, they start yawning too.

Why does that happen? Sure, it adds up if one person yawns because they're sleepy – but why do the others join in? They don't want to sleep! So does that mean yawning and wanting to sleep aren't connected? Or are they? But by all logic – they're not connected!

But in this case, logic’s got nothing to do with it.

What we’re looking at here is a classic example of one of those good old reflexes cooked up by evolution. Actually, make that a bunch of different reflexes.

Check out this picture.

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The chicks in the nest are screaming for food.8

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Take a look at their eyes. Their eyes are closed or just barely open, and right now, those little guys are half-asleep, not seeing much of anything around them. But their beaks? Wide open—they’re loudly demanding a snack from mom and dad. If you don’t ask and don’t open your mouth, you don’t get fed.

It’s super important that when one of the chicks spots a parent swooping in, the others open their mouths on cue, too—otherwise, no grub for them. These complicated chains of actions that the chicks pull off are called a group action algorithm—or a program—in coding, but over in biology, they call it a reflex or an instinct. Even chicks who’ve just popped out of the egg, still groggy and squinting at the world, go through these motions like it’s second nature. They've known these playbooks since day one!

So, what happens if a chick doesn't have that reflex, or it just breaks down? Well, then the poor thing just skips feedings from its folks, gets weaker and hungrier, and most likely ends up starving to death.

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Yep, that's exactly why these and similar reflexes are called innate survival reflexes. It's like they're hardwired into the subconscious on the genetic level.9

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So, why am I telling you all this? The whole 'yawning is contagious' thing in people? That's basically a leftover echo of the built-in bird reflex—a chick's way of begging for food.

This reflex, after surviving millions of years of evolution, basically jumped ship from birds to humans. And here’s the kicker: almost nobody knows what happens next. If someone starts yawning but then eats, drinks, or just stuffs something hefty into their mouth, the yawning will pack up and leave.

Yawning when you’re ready to hit the hay? That’s just another echo of a built-in bird reflex. Feeling sleepy? Ask for a snack, chow down, and then crash out as long as you want while your stomach does its thing.

When a baby bird dozes off, its plump little body gets busy growing. But hit the hay on an empty stomach, and you might end up weak—or not make it at all.

Now, if you try to see yawning in humans through the lens of these inherited reflexes, suddenly it all falls into place.

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Survival reflexes are the real MVP in the life of any living creature—without them, the odds of keeping the species going drop like a rock. That’s why these reflexes are baked in from birth, wired not just at the genetic level, but at the species and even cross-species level.

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Whether you believe it or not, even modern 'classical' science admits these algorithms are real.

These algorithms have all kinds of names: reflexes, instincts, species behavior—doesn’t matter—because it all boils down to built-in reflexes doing their thing, often way below the radar of our conscious mind.

Let’s take a look at a few examples of inborn reflexes (instincts) that help us make it through life.

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1) 

Breathing reflex. Ever wonder how babies just instinctively know how to breathe—and do it on autopilot? Physiologically, it’s actually a pretty complex gig, with all sorts of muscles and ligaments pitching in.

2) 

The reflex that syncs up your heartbeat and your breathing. The faster or slower a heart beats, the faster or slower a living creature breathes. Usually, this whole process runs in the background, no conscious input needed.

3) 

The breath-holding reflex when you plunge underwater headfirst.

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The reflex to latch onto mom’s breast and start sucking. Every newborn mammal is born knowing how to nurse. Where does that trick come from? Maybe it's all thanks to good old natural selection: those who didn’t figure it out just didn’t make it and didn’t leave any little ones behind.

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The swallowing reflex. Seems pretty primitive, sure—but without it, none of us would even be here.

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The reflex that lets us empty our bowels and bladder. The smooth muscles in your gut work in waves, moving stuff along just when and where it’s needed.

7) 

Goosebumps—you know, the way birds puff up their feathers to stay cozy. Makes you wonder—does some kind of interspecies reflex like that exist?

Because, hey, humans have it too.

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The classic instinct to stick close to Mom. Which, honestly, is just babies being scared of being left alone.

9) 

The instinctive fear of heights—it’s evolution’s way of keeping us alive.

10) 

And then there’s the deep-seated dread of spiders and snakes. The ones who weren't scared usually wound up dead. These tiny, not-so-mobile critters often pose a threat way bigger than their appearance lets on.

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The reflex to yank your hand back when something hurts.

12) 

The classic freezing reflex when danger shows up. It's one of those all-purpose reflexes that helps the small fry survive among predators.

13) 

The reflex of women to scream when danger strikes. That can spook or distract a predator, and also gives the tribe a heads-up.

14) 

Women's fear of mice. No comment.

15) 

The reflex of heating up when you’re sick. When your temperature goes up, most weak germs just can't hack it. That’s why cranking up a fever is your body’s go-to defense move, even if it doesn’t always save the day.

16) 

The reflex that floods you with adrenaline—in a crisis, your adrenal glands kick in and launch a rush of adrenaline, cranking up your mental focus, aggression, muscle power, and your reaction time, so you’re basically in superhero mode for a bit.

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Here’s a list of the most well-known and blatantly obvious built-in reflexes that help us make it in this world.

All these reflexes live in what we call the human subconscious—that zone in your brain where the spotlight of consciousness doesn’t usually reach. Since who-knows-when, these mental programs have been stacking up in there, giving us a little autopilot action when we need it.

The wild part? Newborns already come loaded with these built-in reflexes that help keep them alive, and they don’t even know it. Take a zebra, for instance—a newborn can be up on its feet and tailing mom within half an hour, dodging trouble like a pro. If it didn’t have those reflexes, honestly, it wouldn’t stand a chance.

So, in this whole business, there are a few key things we really need to pay attention to.

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1) 

When it comes to humans, you can basically split our minds into two parts: the consciousness and the subconscious. The consciousness is that part of your brain you’ve got the remote for—you can control it, you can see what it’s up to.

2) 

Species Survival Programs, on the other hand, are pretty much factory-installed.

3) 

Species-level programs usually run the show all on their own, without consciousness even getting an invite.

That’s why everyone just calls them the 'subconscious.'

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The subconscious, by the way, is way bigger and deeper than consciousness could ever dream.

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So, imagine your consciousness as an iceberg—most of it’s chilling below the surface in the subconscious, where all the secret codes and life experience are stored.

In the next Chapters, we’ll dig into exactly what’s lurking in the subconscious and how it throws its weight around in marriage and opposite-sex friendships.

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Part Practice Questions

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For folks who haven’t dabbled in magic, the world’s just chock-full of physics laws.

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1) 

How did our survival reflexes show up in the first place? What’s the point of them, anyway?

2) 

List the reflexes you know about that help humanity keep on kicking. Write down what could happen if any of these reflexes suddenly went on strike.

3) 

Which of these reflexes do you think are the real MVPs when it comes to survival?

4) 

The Author left out one of the most crucial types of survival reflexes—commonly known as instinct.

What do they call this instinct in people?

5) 

When does the subconscious need to step in? When does it actually flip the switch?

6) 

How come the subconscious is bigger than the consciousness?

7) 

When can the subconscious actually matter less than the conscious mind?

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Chapter "Female" logic

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The guy says to the girl:

"Female logic is basically just hard-core denial of anything guys say."

The girl:

"Oh, stop it, sweetheart! Of course not!"

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SSP on a woman—accessory or ankle bracelet?12

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Let’s dig into how our conscious mind and subconscious actually interact.

So, when exactly do those species-level programs in our subconscious switch on?

It’s pretty simple—they kick in any time survival is on the line, whether it’s about you personally or the whole human race. The main job of these survival programs is to hand us a ready-made behavior algorithm or quick fix for situations where there’s just no time to figure things out from scratch.

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Here are a few classic examples:

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Situations that threaten your life or your health. In moments like these, the Species Survival Programs (SSP) flip on, usually triggered by fear or a rush of adrenaline.

2) 

Scenarios that have to do with reproduction. Like picking a partner or bringing up the kids.

3) 

Situations that involve navigating society. For instance, that classic national 'hospitality' vibe.

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It’s key to remember that Species Survival Programs—SSP for short—are tightly linked to both reproduction and raising kids.

Between the two sexes, it’s women who are most closely tied to this responsibility. If a guy can just walk away, a woman simply doesn't get that luxury. Her kid’s survival—and, let’s be real, the whole human species—literally depends on her.

She can't afford to mess up. And her responsibility is directly tied to whether the species makes it. That’s why she’s way more loaded up with survival programs than any man.

A classic example? The maternal instinct.

Generally, most women will stick by their kid to the very end, no matter how frail or sickly that kid might be. She’s willing to move mountains to save her little one—even if it’s hard, humiliating, or downright dangerous. Sometimes, she keeps fussing over the kid long after it stops being necessary. History is packed with examples of moms pulling every trick in the book to rescue their children.

But sometimes, all that care and effort can go way overboard—and actually end up backfiring on their own kids. Too much hovering and pampering, for instance, can spoil a child rotten or even mess with their head. Kids like this are famous for being 'mama’s boys.'

So how come a woman, just by taking care of her kid, can end up unintentionally messing them up with all that motherly love?

See, the SSP doesn’t actually have any kind of analytical mind or independent thinking. It’s basically a rough-and-ready program hardwired straight into our DNA. It can’t break down every single situation or tailor itself to fit each one. It’s just an abstract little push that bubbles up from the subconscious into our outer psyche.

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That’s why, when a woman’s running on SSP, her actions can look totally illogical—especially to a guy. Sometimes, when SSP switches on, what she does isn’t coming from cool, calculated thinking; it’s bubbling up straight from the subconscious.

All of this is what inspired that unforgettable term, ‘female logic.’

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But, despite how bonkers it might look on the surface, there’s usually a rhyme and reason to her behavior. Still, this logic isn’t about making clever moves like some master tactician trying to win a round in a board game. We're talking more about a smart move that ups the chances for a woman, her kids, or even the whole species to make it through.

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Take the classic plot twist: the so-called 'good' girl ‘loves’ the ‘nice’ guy, but who does she marry? The ‘bad’ boy she doesn’t even really care for. From a guy’s perspective, that might look totally off-the-wall or just plain dumb. Still, even when she’s making a conscious choice, a woman’s subconscious is busy nudging her toward the stronger (in its own mysterious logic) guy—the one who looks like a better ticket for her kids’ survival.14

Women are always caught in an inner tug-of-war between the pressure of the SSP and their own wants and needs.

So, what actually goes down when a woman's SSP battles it out with her personal desires?

There are two possible storylines here.

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If a woman's selfishness is stronger than the pull of the SSP, she'll just do what she wants and look out for number one. But living for her own pleasure like that, she’ll often turn a blind eye to the whole business of species survival and even her own kids’ needs. Women with that level of selfishness are pretty famous, you know—folks usually call them 'divas.' Statistically, ladies like that don’t leave much of a legacy: either they don’t have kids at all, or their kids turn out few and kind of feeble. So, most of the time, that whole behavior algorithm just doesn’t get passed down.

There’s basically no one left to inherit it.

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2) 

But if the SSP manages to beat out a woman's own selfishness, then—clunky as the SSP is—it actually ups her odds of survival and boosts the number of kids she ends up with. So, naturally, an SSP like that has a way bigger chance of getting passed down.

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In general, statistically, women who are more likely to yield to the SSP tend to pass it on to their kids more often, since they end up having more babies.

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Part Practice Questions

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Here’s a woman’s unbreakable logic:

I don’t think—I know…

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1) 

Go online and find out what 'program execution priority' actually means.

2) 

So, what kinds of priority do programs have, anyway?

3) 

And where does the SSP (species survival program) rank on that priority list?

4) 

What happens when, inside someone’s head, their SSP, personal thoughts, and desires all go head-to-head?

5) 

Why do SSPs get passed down the family tree?

6) 

When do SSPs skip a generation and not get passed along?

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Chapter Variety and Classification of SSPs

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The world of nature today is wild and wonderfully diverse.

Take this for example: a guy goes and likes every single photo a girl posts—boom, that’s him putting his cards on the table, showing her he wants to mate.

National Geographic

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SSPs come with all sorts of twists and turns in their history and development. They can be all over the map in terms of type and form. Now, even though all SSPs have the same big goal—make sure the species has the best shot at sticking around—they pop up for all sorts of reasons and can work on totally different levels.

Because of this, modern science can classify them all sorts of ways.

Let’s check out a few examples of how SSP can be split up based on certain features.

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Part How deeply it sits in the subconscious

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Some SSP are interspecies, hardwired reflexes and pop up in a bunch of different species. For instance, the reflex to suck on your mom’s breast shows up in all live-bearing mammals.

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These interspecies reflexes are the old-timers—about as deep-rooted in the subconscious as you can get. That's why they're so tough to spot and control.

At the same time, there are SSPs that belong to just one species and are pretty fresh on the evolutionary timeline. These 'young' SSPs can be carried out more or less consciously.

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Take the habit of hitting the sauna—only humans on planet Earth get up to that. In the sauna, folks not only keep themselves clean, but also find a golden opportunity for some off-the-record chit-chat and tackling whatever organizational issues are on the table.

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Part Tactical and Strategic SSP

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– There’s nothing hard about women’s logic.

– But it’s tough to figure out how women come to their conclusions.

– You don’t need to know how, just why. The goal of regular logic is to reach the right answer; women’s logic is all about getting the answer she wants.

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There’s also this split into tactical and strategic SSP. The difference between the two isn’t always clear, especially if you’re just looking short-term, and sometimes they might even clash with each other.

Since the goals of tactical and strategic SSPs often don’t line up, the way they work can be pretty confusing—sometimes even totally at odds with each other. Tactical SSPs are all about helping someone make it through a crisis, in the thick of the action, here and now. Meanwhile, strategic SSPs set their sights on keeping bigger groups—and even the whole human species—going strong for generations.

The gap between tactics and strategy can be absolutely massive. For instance, after winning the Battle of Borodino, Napoleon quipped, 'One more win like that and I’ll be out of soldiers.'

When someone’s life is on the line, they can flip into SSP mode, which basically means their brain shoves everyone else aside and yells, ‘Save yourself!’ This usually pops up as fear, panic, total loss of control, and blackouts in memory. Later, they might describe how SSP kicked in by saying something like, ‘I don’t remember a thing—I just came to and suddenly I was somewhere else!’

When the strategic kind of SSP hits, you’ll see people ditch their own safety and happiness, often throwing themselves under the bus for women and kids (not even always their own, by the way)—and, voilà, that’s what keeps the species alive.

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SSP moves of the tactical variety are all about quick, obvious results—you can spot them a mile away.

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Strategic SSP maneuvers, on the other hand, don’t always stand out in the short run. Things only start to make sense if you zoom out to longer timelines—think, covering more than three generations—or if you take a good, hard look at a bigger mix of places and some solid stats.

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Take this: the so-called ‘honest merchant’s word’ really doesn’t mean much if you’re just thinking short-term. When you’re playing in tactical mode, a merchant might be totally down to pull one over on a customer or even a partner. But if he wants to keep his business reputation squeaky clean and make sure both his family and future generations don’t just survive but thrive, he’s got to play fair and look out for the family name. If he doesn’t, his family and clan might go downhill fast—or even fade into extinction—if they run out of clients.

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The gender split in SSP

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So a guy comes home from work, and after dinner his wife tells him:

"Honey, I joined a feminist club, and now I’m going to fight for gender equality—just like all the cool, progressive women out there." So now you’re doing your own dishes.

Alright, being the loyal friend and comrade I am, I’ll help you fight for equality. So, tomorrow, we’ll head to work together and haul the piano up to the fifth floor—by hand!

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Gender—or sex-based—division of the SSP is one of the flashiest and most obvious ones out there. What’s essential and helpful for the survival of one gender is often totally wrong or even downright bad news for the other, for all sorts of reasons.

For example, the SSP connected to protecting territory and family shows up in lions as that genetically hardwired mane. That glorious mane is basically nature’s version of a bulletproof vest—it shields a lion’s most vulnerable spots, like the neck and chest, during those epic brawls with other lions over turf and lionesses. Ladies don’t get this ‘armor,’ which could explain why they usually steer clear of those inter-pride rumbles.19

But even with all that protection, a lion’s mane can be a real headache in Africa’s scorching heat. If a lion’s been on the move too long, that mane can crank the heat up so much it turns him into a walking hot flash. That’s why the lion’s deal in the pride is to fend off other lions and rival prides during those short, dramatic showdowns. 20

When it comes to hunting and raising the kids, it’s the lionesses doing all the heavy lifting—let’s face it, only the maneless gals and young lions can sprint around in that blazing heat without keeling over. So really, for lions, the whole 'equality' or feminism thing just isn’t on the menu. No deep quotes or feel-good slogans are going to stop a majestic, shaggy-maned lion from overheating and getting woozy when it’s forty degrees out and the workout drags on.

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Gender differences in SSP are pretty much unavoidable, since every sex has its own mix of organs, hormones, and biological functions.

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Anytime one gender tries to claim the rights of the other without stepping up to the matching responsibility, it’s just plain absurd.

Power, rights, and privileges are only one side of the coin; the other side’s all about certain duties and responsibility.

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You just can’t have any rights without also shouldering the corresponding responsibility.

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And anytime you take on a specific responsibility, matching rights are bound to follow.

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Part SSP competition

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You just had to say it like this:

"Don't worry, I only cheated on you once in my whole life! —

And then, after a thoughtful pause, add:

– NONE of them are any real competition for you…"

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One of the most controversial types of SSP is SSP competition. On the one hand, competition helps some genetic lines (and the species as a whole) evolve. But on the flip side, that kind of development almost always ends up with some, or even most, of its members getting left behind or wiped out.

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Usually, intraspecific competition gets balanced out by having a boatload of offspring. But if there aren’t enough kids, that competition can actually wipe out the whole species.

On the flip side, if there’s no intraspecific competition for a while, that usually sends the species into a slow decline.

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Take canines, for example—most female dogs have massive litters every single year. If every pup made it, these critters would be running the whole world and scarfing down their entire food supply. But intraspecific competition constantly and systematically wipes out most of the pups among canines, making sure there’s no wild population explosion going on. Thanks to all the in-pack drama, only the alpha pair of wolves gets to have babies.22

In Disney flicks like The Lion King (2019), you get this heartwarming tale about a lion dad raising his cub and handing over the kingdom to his little heir. But in real life, the lion dad (and the lioness usually has a couple of blood brothers tagging along) is basically target number one when it comes to threats against the cub. See, in most predator species, the male’s dead set on wiping out any would-be rivals—even if they’re still just little tykes. And the female’s often forced to throw herself into defending the kids from their own dad.

That’s why, for people in the lower castes (0-3), the ‘father vs. kids’ showdown is pretty much unavoidable. It’s just the old SSP competition programs echoing through.

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Part Ethnic and national SSP

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So, a Chinese guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. The Jewish guy stared at the dude from the Mongoloid race for a while and finally asked:

– Excuse me, what’s your nationality?

– Me? I’m Chinese.

– So how many of you are there on earth?

– Oh, probably more than a billion.

– No kidding! Then how come we never see any of your folks around? It’s always just our crowd everywhere.

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Ethnic and national SSPs are also a spin-off of SSP competition. The deal is, when there’s a threat of getting wiped out by another ethnic group or nationality, everyone puts the drama on hold and calls a temporary truce. Someone from your own ethnicity or nationality is seen as a hometown buddy, a brother, you name it—and within that group, folks get everything from a little favoritism to full-on VIP treatment.

But when it comes to people from other ethnicities or nationalities—the ones you’re locked in competition with—things can get a bit spicy, ranging from subtle digs to open hostility.

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Here, SSP competition kicks things up a notch, and it’s not just about individuals anymore—it’s whole nations and ethnic groups facing off against each other. This sort of thing only happens when there are just too many ethnic groups or nationalities—or when they’re all thriving a bit too well.

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If those groups suddenly face a big, scary common enemy, all the squabbles between them can just vanish, since evolution doesn’t need that drama anymore. Of course, that takes time—the power structures have to change, and folks need to be willing to let go of personal gain or their little illusion of power for the sake of everyone. 24

For instance, if some seriously tough baddie from deep space shows up and attacks Earth, all those international squabbles? Poof—forgotten. Everyone’s busy joining forces to fight the one big threat. If not, the bad guy wins.

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Part Religious and philosophical SSP

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The Vedas: all those glasses? Just an illusion that drags the immortal soul right into the merry-go-round of Samsara. So, if you want to save your soul, you’ve got to break free and step off that endless carousel of reincarnation.

Buddhism: the glass isn’t even real. All that exists is the unhealthy urge to have the glass in the first place—which you’ve got to let go of if you want to get enlightened and hit Nirvana.

Solipsism: I’m the only one with a glass, and everything else is just my boozy fantasy—nothing more.

Islam: There is no glass but the Glass. And the Glassblower is His prophet.

Judaism: Why is the glass half-empty only for us? Why, Lord? Why?!

Orthodoxy: The glass is half-empty because of our sins! We’re just born sinful, through and through!

Catholicism: only bad people see the glass as half empty! That’s God’s plan in action.

Satanism: let’s glorify the Glass that fell off the table, for it is the Prince of this world!

Freudianism: as a kid, you never got a full glass, so now you subconsciously overcompensate and have unknowingly become a chronic alcoholic.

Stoicism: yep, the glass is half empty, but that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be according to the Higher Plan. For the Lord, in His mercy, shapes us on our path to Him through trials and hardships. Per aspera ad astra.26

Communism: everyone’s got a right to a full glass! And if someone has more than one, snatch ’em and share!

Socialism: the glass is half empty, but hey, at least it’s equally empty for everyone!

Yoga: you are both the glass and what’s inside it. Because the world around you is just your consciousness reflected back at you.

Pelevin: the glass isn’t empty or full—it’s not even a glass, really. It’s not you looking at the glass; it’s the glass looking at your projection of what you think it’s thinking about how you want to seem to yourself. Or maybe not.

Janitor Vasya: So, are we just sitting here, waiting for someone? Daydreaming about nonsense? Pour a drink or I'm gone!

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SSP competition takes place on higher informational levels. Here, it’s not ethnicities or nationalities fighting to survive and control their hosts—it's meta-ideas, worldview or philosophical systems, duking it out. In esoteric circles, they call these things egregors.2728

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This Chapter is just a quick rundown of the possible types and classifications of SSP. If you’ve got a bigger perspective and an eye for detail, this Chapter could easily stretch into hundreds of entries and a dozen layers deep. But honestly, it doesn't make much sense to do that here, since for most readers it’d just be information overload—and the curious ones can always go digging on their own if they feel like it.

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Part Practice Questions

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Did a good deed today!

Took a morning stroll with my pit bull, Caesar. I spot a guy sprinting to the bus stop, trying to catch his bus. He’s hustling, but it’s obvious he’s not gonna make it in time.

So, out of sheer goodwill, I let the dog off the leash with a dramatic ‘Caesar, go get ’em!’

Turns out, the guy actually made his bus after all…

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1) Hop online and check out some documentaries about lions or wolves—National Geographic style. Try to pick ones that take you through the animal’s whole life story, from conception to the very end.

Keep an eye out for those key, make-or-break moments in a predator’s life. How about drawing a parallel between the key moments and a person's life cycle?

2) So, how can you make sense of the classic parent-child drama through the idea of SSP competition?

What's the whole point of this program when it comes to keeping the human species alive? How do these things actually play out in society? Can you give some real-life examples where you can spot the SSP competition at work?

Any tips for flipping the negative effects of SSP competition into something positive—and even safe—within a single family?

3) What can explain things like national hatred and conflict through the lens of SSP?

What would happen if there was just one nation left? How would it go on evolving after that? What’s the big goal of these 'globalists' when it comes to nationalism?

4) How can we explain religious conflicts from the SSP point of view?

So, what if there’s only one religion left? How could it possibly keep evolving then?

5) What are the main physiological differences between a man and a woman? Give at least three. And what kind of medical issues can pop up during artificial gender reassignment?

6) So, what happens to a woman if she’s running low on estrogen—or swimming in it?

And what about a guy—what if he’s got too little or way too much testosterone?

What if a woman’s packing testosterone—or has too much of it? What’s the story there?

And what happens if a guy ends up with estrogen, or a ton of it? How does that even happen?

7) Fire up the Internet and find answers to these questions.29

What gets testosterone up and running in the human body?

And what sparks estrogen into action in the body? So, according to the stats, which nationalities are rocking higher testosterone levels? And what kind of consequences can that actually lead to? What natural substances do you know of that mess with people in a similar way?

8) What’s smart and forward-thinking about feminism—and where does it trip over its own shoelaces?

9) What would happen to humanity if every woman on earth suddenly went full-on, card-carrying feminist?

10) Now, assuming that women’s panic-level fear of mice is tied to SSP, how would you explain where that comes from?

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Chapter Castes and the Human Hive

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When he was a kid, Lenin wasn’t a pioneer, because he came from a family of nobles…

From a school essay

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The modern human hive30

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In the previous Chapter, we checked out how SSP can be sorted into different types.

After millions of years of evolution, humans have picked up hundreds, if not thousands, of SSP. A bunch of them are snoozing or have shriveled up, and some don’t get used at all during a person’s life.

Still, there are a handful of crucial SSPs that set a person’s place in society and reveal what’s going on inside them.

Let’s run through these main classes, highlighting the key SSPs that go with each one. No need to reinvent the wheel—let’s just borrow from the classic caste breakdown in Hinduism:31

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Part Untouchables

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This is the 'zero level,' the absolute rock bottom on the evolutionary ladder. These are the folks living out their very first human life in the endless cycle of rebirths, otherwise known as Samsara. 33

Untouchables don’t have the SSPs they need to live in society, because they just haven’t had the chance to pick them up through a few rounds of reincarnation yet.

The karmic mission for Untouchables? Live out their very first life as a human, so their soul finally gets its VIP pass into the reincarnation circle. Put simply, they need to form a proper human soul. If an Untouchable gets knocked off in early childhood, their soul doesn’t have time to take shape, and that means no coming back as a human next time around. That’s why folks from this caste are called untouchables—because killing someone from this crew seriously weighs down the killer’s karma, and also knocks out all their other incarnations in one go.

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Part Shudras or working-class folks

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Climbing up the evolutionary ladder, we’ve got the Shudras next (think: servants, peasants, workers)—or, put simply, the working class.

The main gig for SSP in the working class is protecting themselves and their family, right down at the Muladhara chakra level (that’s Earth, baby!). Put simply, the evolutionary quest of your average working guy is to build a solid material and financial base for himself and his loved ones. He’s got to earn enough so his family can at least survive—and if he’s lucky, they’ll even get to live comfortably.

To make that happen, our working man has to master a skill that people actually need, and use it to score a decent life for himself and his crew. That’s no walk in the park, and for one guy to single-handedly support his entire family, he needs to be a high-level pro living somewhere with a halfway decent standard of living.

The one and only evolutionary (or karmic) goal for a working man is to become a hotshot pro everyone needs. By raking in the cash, he keeps himself and his family afloat—and at the same time, he’s building up that SSP in his kids’ genes.

The top of the food chain for a working guy? Becoming a master of his craft and earning serious dough. Even a so-called 'simple' welder with a high NAKS grade can pull in a great salary and stay in demand anywhere in the world.

You gotta realize, expecting more from a proletarian guy than just bringing home a paycheck is basically pointless. He just doesn't have any other key SSPs in his toolbox—nothing that’d let him play family protector, party superstar, or spiritual guru.

The Shudra caste? They're just your regular working folks, doing their thing and, honestly, not ready for much else yet.

A woman from the Shudra caste gets pretty much the same karmic quest. She's supposed to pick up a craft or trade and get decent at it—doesn't have to make money off it, just do it well. For example, she might become a housewife, and her grand evolutionary quest is to turn her husband’s paycheck into a warm and happy home.

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Part Vaishyas, or merchants

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The second rung on the evolutionary ladder is the Vaishyas, also known as merchants. This crew includes all kinds of folks working in trade and services. Their secret sauce? Emotional connections with customers—straight from the Svadhisthana level. The roster is epic: salespeople, couriers, money changers, sex workers, singers, musicians, circus performers, psychologists, entertainers—you name it.

Vaishyas also include those Shudras who’ve reached a high level of skill and get to set their own prices for what they make. Take Stradivari, the legendary violin maker—at the start, he was a Shudra, but once he learned to craft those one-of-a-kind violins, he leveled up to an entry-level vaishya.

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The secret sauce for jobs like that? It’s all about the smile, the charm, and a little bit of that irresistible charisma.

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There’s a twist, though: you can stand behind the counter, officially be a salesperson, but in reality, you’re still a Shudra, not a vaishya. Can someone really be so charming that you’ll buy something totally useless from a salesperson, just so you don’t hurt a nice person’s feelings?

Vaishyas are the folks who’ve totally nailed the art of making emotional connections and finding common ground with clients.

Vaishyas have a few evolutionary missions:

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knowing how to establish an emotional connection and speak the same language;

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figuring out what a client needs and actually giving it to them;

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coming up with compromises that keep both the client and the seller happy.

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The highest stage of vaishya development:

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being able to read the business vibes—in other words, having killer intuition;

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being able to keep your word—that is, following through on promises, no matter what, even if it costs you.

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The SSP that set vaishyas apart.

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First off, there’s charm, charisma, that famous ‘Eastern hospitality,’ and just plain friendliness. But don’t get too starry-eyed: that ‘hospitality’ is just a polite mask and doesn’t show how a vaishya really feels about people. That's just the smile of a salesman who truly wants to sell his wares.

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2) 

If a vaishya has reached the heights of their caste, then they consciously treasure their honest reputation—which to them is worth more than money. But let's be clear, not every vaishya has grown enough to realize the importance of being honest.

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A good example of such honest vaishyas is the Bania caste in India. They've traditionally been the accountants, managers, and small-time bankers of India. Their honesty and business reputation are so squeaky clean that even folks who can't read or write in India trust them with their money, no questions asked. A bany's rep is worth way more than any cash, and that's what’s kept them in business for centuries.36

But honestly, that's more of an Indian regional flavor than some hard-and-fast rule. Strictly speaking, banyas have leveled up from the merchant caste and are partly in the next caste already.

SSP vaishyas? That’s all about mastering the art of working the crowd. The payoff? A killer social network—friends, connections, favors galore. That’s the vaishya’s real superpower. If a shudra defends himself and his family with hard work and those magic hands, then, when things go south, a vaishya starts frantically dialing up his friends, debtors, and patrons. It's these characters who become the vaishya’s lifeline when things get hairy.

Your classic vaishya move in a conflict? Throwing around threats about his powerful connections and buddies. But let’s set the record straight: a vaishya’s ‘friends’ are really just his debtors, one way or another. And when the chips are really down, a vaishya can end up completely alone, grumbling about the ‘betrayal’ of his so-called ‘friends’—most of whom, unfortunately, stick around only as long as it’s good for them.

A vaishya woman has a slightly different evolutionary role. Her job? To surround her husband, family, and his buddies with comfort and charm. She becomes the ultimate 'emotional masseuse,' wrapping everyone up in warmth and coziness. To pull this off, she’s got to read the room like a pro, wielding her emotional intelligence and charm like secret weapons. Usually, water signs in the Zodiac are naturals at this.3738

The SSP stuff that Shudra vaishya worked through in past lives is pretty much set to autopilot now—it kicks in when needed.

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Part Kshatriyas, or warriors

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The third stage of evolutionary development is the Kshatriya caste (the warriors). This stage is all about connecting with society at the level of the Manipura chakra. Or, to put it another way, dealing with society through the element of Fire.

Kshatriyas cover all kinds of professions that require regular brainpower and willpower. We're talking sports, education, medicine, the military, yoga, martial arts, and plenty more.

Here’s what evolution has in store for the Kshatriya:

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learning to rein in his desires and put his will in the driver’s seat. Do it methodically, whenever needed, and don’t quit till you get the result.

Discipline is key.

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Number two, find your sweet spot in the pecking order. The more responsibility you carry, the higher you climb in society’s hierarchy.

The SSP a Kshatriya builds up over time is kind of like his personal code of conduct. The rules and principles in this code? They come before his own desires—or anyone else’s, for that matter.

A perfect example of this kind of Code is Bushido. 40

The kshatriya’s Code lays down the rules for every part of his life—it’s not just a law, but a whole philosophy, sometimes even a full-blown religion that he lives by.

Signature traits of kshatriya behavior:

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they jump into conflict without batting an eye. For them, conflict is just part of the daily grind—nothing scary, nothing to stress about. If a kshatriya’s consciousness is wired more toward the physical, then face-to-face confrontation is just how he rolls. As strange as it might sound, for a kinesthetic kshatriya, getting into fights and scuffles is just their natural, go-to way of communicating and dealing with people in society.

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2)

They absolutely have to know who’s stronger – them or their opponent. They need this info to decide who’s supposed to call the shots – them or the other person.

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3) They always follow some kind of written or unwritten rules. They see themselves as 'stand-up guys' and stick to their own strict code.

It doesn’t really matter what the rules are—whether it’s some criminal 'code,' the Hippocratic Oath, or the Charter of the Soviet Army. Heck, it could even be the DIY playbook of a maniac, like in the show 'Dexter.' But the rules Kshatriyas live by? Those are always systematized and structured.42

Sometimes their framework is so polished and advanced, it borders on philosophy or even religion—just look at the code of Bushido (The Path of the Samurai). Other times, it’s downright shabby and full of contradictions, like some of those unwritten codes out there.

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In old-school kshatriya clans, there’s often another key SSP that gets passed down the line—innate politeness. A dust-up with one kshatriya can snowball into a full-blown family feud, dragging whole bloodlines in and sparking grudges that last for centuries. That’s why, through the ages, ancient kshatriya (aristocrat) families developed this built-in knack for politeness.

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A genuine aristocrat keeps it classy with everyone, no matter what’s going down. Sure, they can wipe out their enemies, but to insult them? That’s just unthinkable—totally not their style!

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The so-called High Speech of aristocrats is crafted in such a way that it’s already packed with built-in politeness templates for every possible occasion.

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The top level of Kshatriya development is when his actions are steeped in ethics and morality. His behavior isn’t just following some abstract rules anymore—now, it’s guided by ethics.43

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When problems pop up, a Kshatriya can tap into not just his own resources, but also those of the whole structure he’s part of. Usually, he’s always a cog in some bigger system or organization.

For example, a major in the Ministry of Internal Affairs (your classic Kshatriya type) has direct subordinates in the ministry and also maintains administrative connections with other departments and related agencies. So, whenever a Kshatriya is up against some serious resistance, they pull every administrative string they've got to go after their opponent. It’s usually only the newbie Kshatriya, just starting their journey, who charges into battle solo.

Among Kshatriyas, friendship is a big deal—it can run seriously deep and mean a whole lot.

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A Kshatriya, fueled by friendship and a sense of duty, is ready to sacrifice anything—except the honor of a Kshatriya (or whatever passes for it these days).

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He expects his friend or buddy to be willing to make the same sacrifice. Friendship between kshatriyas can carry over from one incarnation to the next.

When it comes to family life, a Kshatriya is ready to defend his loved ones to his dying breath—unless it clashes with the Kshatriya Code of Conduct.

The evolutionary mission of a woman-Kshatriya is pretty much the same as a man’s, only she can swap brute force for some good old discipline or scientific smarts. If a typical Kshatriya man is like a ranking military officer, then your average Kshatriya woman is a high-powered doctor with a scientific degree.

Take, for instance, female surgeons, chief physicians, anesthesiologists—all those experts who hold the top spots in a strict hierarchy. They put in long-term, focused effort and have plenty of other professionals reporting to them.

Kshatriyas are usually tightly linked to the egregor, meaning they’ve got a deep, almost electric connection to some kind of time-tested system.

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The main goals for a kshatriya are keeping their honor intact, climbing the status ladder, and snagging the approval of other kshatriyas.

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All these ambitions are tangled up with the ideas of honor and dignity—which, let’s be honest, can get pretty confusing and sometimes even contradict each other.

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For any kshatriya, it all boils down to serving by a set of principles and rules as part of some social crew.

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Part Brahmans or priests

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Ethics—think of it as the mountaintop of spirituality and the ultimate truths—is what kshatriyas build their whole code of service on. When those principles start to play by the rules of ethics, a Kshatriya gets pretty darn close to the next evolutionary step—the caste of Brahmans (you know, the priestly types).

The Brahman caste is different from the Kshatriyas because their principles are locked into their souls, while the Kshatriyas are just following them in their heads. What a Kshatriya could do but doesn’t, because it feels 'off,' a Brahman simply can’t do, because for him, it’s downright unpleasant and totally at odds with his soul and his vibe.

For instance, young Shaolin monks sometimes took out their enemies—even though that’s a big no-no in Buddhism—just because they could. So, they belonged to the kshatriya caste.

But the Shaolin elders and high-ups were way more enlightened, and even with serious martial arts chops, they dodged killing any enemies, because it just felt totally wrong and unnatural to them on an energetic level.

People usually get this gut-level aversion to killing—it kicks in as a gag reflex. With enough time and a few hard knocks from life, though, you can learn to suppress it.

The SSP for the Brahmans is all about that same old survival instinct. But for them, it’s had a bit of a makeover.

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See, a Brahman knows firsthand—from lived, downright sensual experience—that his soul keeps getting reborn, spinning endlessly on the Samsara merry-go-round. They get that knowledge from deep meditations and mind-blowing moments of enlightenment, where they actually remember their past lives. But here’s the kicker: sins weigh the soul down and drag it straight into all kinds of hellish worlds. By sticking to the ethical rules of his religion and doing his spiritual practices, a Brahman saves his soul from landing in hellish worlds—which, for him, is way worse than death.45

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A Brahman, just like a Kshatriya, is all about survival, but he's not sweating over his body or mind anymore—now he's in it for the soul. Sometimes, if they're especially advanced or spiritually buff, Brahmans can level up to rishis (think saints), prophets, healers, and even more.46

When that happens, their good vibes can start to spill out and influence everything around the rishi, too. The size of this area depends on the rishi’s spiritual oomph and his closeness to God—in other words, on how much he can just go with the flow of the Absolute. 47

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What all Brahmans have in common is sticking to spiritual standards and rules—and regularly flexing their soul with spiritual practices and rituals to get better and better.

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A Brahman has this knack for connecting with God, and that’s what they call ‘enlightenment.’ When you make contact with God, your consciousness feels it like a blast of light that you step into—sometimes it’s a gentle glow, sometimes it’s full-on stadium lights. The aura of someone like that starts to glow with whatever kind of power’s in play.

That’s why the rituals that, basically, force newbies to connect with God are called ‘initiations.’ If you make it through, you’re officially one of the ‘initiated.’ But if you actually soak up those energies and retune your consciousness and vibe to those frequencies, then congratulations—you’ve leveled up to ‘enlightened.’4849

At the base level, Brahmans are your yogis, monks, and all sorts of other folks doing spiritual practices.