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Renat Minazhdinov. Mindful Fatherhood
A very short intro
Becoming a father
Your mission (Darwin’s view)
Growing up to it
Being able to take care of yourself and your family
Having your inner kid cravings satisfied
Emotional stability
Perfect Match
Form “sharing something in common” to complementarity
Multitude of matching parameters in historical retrospective
Mathematics
Hypothesis about minimum required parameters
Keeping your freedom: building loosely coupled plan for what comes after
Maintain diversity and redundancy
Manage connectivity
Manage feedbacks
Foster complex adaptive systems thinking
Encourage learning
Broaden participation
Promote polycentric governance systems
There are no closing thoughts, but
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My dear reader, I can only guess how much is on your shoulders. Yet you have found time to read the book on fatherhood, so you must be an awesome dude! (do not get me wrong, I am more than happy to have female readers, while the talk is father to father primarily) I know for the fact that pressure is a growing thing in a man’s life. Not only the blood pressure, but it is the one growing too. I am talking about peer pressure, wife’s pressure, parents’ pressure – everyone and everything expect you to be better, to try harder, to do something impossible. And for many cases this pressure is a good thing to have. Except for one thing. Forcing something about fatherhood on your agenda. It is your area or responsibility. No one should get into it with unsolicited advice. Nor your wife, nor your parents, nor your friends, and most of all, nor anyone from the Internet (like myself). While putting some questions to yourself in a kind of system, answering them honestly to yourself and learning about underwater rocks of fatherhood – that is a good thing to do and what’s this book if for. It was written based on the fresh memory of my own fatherhood (ok, that is kind of “survivor bias” and cannot be treated as big enough statistic sample, but…) and was enriched with experiences from my friends from all over the world. An important note to start with – no one in this book is going to speak from the position of The Wisest Father and pretend there is an ultimate truth on the topic. The book should be treated as a list of questions matched with only some options of the answers. If you could share a better answer for a specific question or a best practice – all mindful fathers, who I’m trying to belong to, will say huge thank you.
There are going to be 2 ways you can read this book depending when in your life the link popped up on your screen: a) if you are planning to become a father or b) you already took that responsibility. Word of caution: if you are already on the fatherhood journey, it means there are some decisions has been made and any late thoughts on those decision, even might not be bad, but could be quite useless (thinking about something done 5 mins ago and 15 years ago has the same value – like none – if it is in attempt to change the past, but not the future). So, if you’re on the way to become a father – just keep reading through as is, but if you’re already in that amazing part of your life called fatherhood, you might want to jump to the “Keeping your freedom” chapter right away.
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So, I let my mathematics and technical background to take over: define few things upfront, bring a hypothesis that I believe in (and currently testing), build a step-by-step evidence. You are more than welcome to find a flaw in every piece of the content below, disagree with me and suggest a better way – I am more than keen to listen and to improve both – the book and my own life.
Brief overview what is coming:
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