Booky Wook 2: This time it’s personal
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Russell Brand. Booky Wook 2: This time it’s personal
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Russell Brand
BOOKY WOOK 2
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Obviously I want to come. At this stage I’ll do anything, I don’t feel I’m in a position to negotiate. I’ve just performed for her, her own personal jester (Depeche Mode – fancy a remix? Your own personal jester. Someone to make you smile in medieval style. Reach out and touch japes. I’m riffing), if she now wants to attend an auction where billionaires vie for the treasure of her kiss I’m not about to shake my head and suggest a kebab. I don’t know why I assumed low status so swiftly, I mean she came to see me, right? I could’ve played it cool, but as an unbelievably eloquent yob once said to me before punching me in the face, “You can’t play the hero if you don’t know the lines.” So Ian is dispensed with – he was never gonna cut it with the in crowd, even the out crowd find him a bit annoying – and we order a cab.
Every so often, in the back of the cab, she receives a call on her ever-chiming phone. “The bidding’s gone up – it’s fifty grand now.” God. As I look into her eyes, this woman who’s just come to see me in a 50-seater venue, there is literally now an auction that has gone into tens of thousands of pounds for a momentary kiss.
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