Articles of Faith

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Russell Brand. Articles of Faith

Articles of Faith. Russell Brand

Table of Contents

Introduction

1 This year I’ll ride the snake like a soccer shaman

2 A pitch-perfect ending to a sadly familiar song

3 A pledge is not enough to make England shine

4 Dark lore of Dyer and the Hammers’ hex

5 Never mind Israel, I’ve been beaten by Bohemia

6 Repent, for the kingdom of Steve is at hand

7 Chelsea too small for these two randy stags

8 His Grace Arsène, the shaman of our football

9 Whatever next? Joe Cole on stilts?

Interview between Russell Brand and David Baddiel

10 My cathode carnival with Sir Alex turning green

11 Who’s to blame for my impotent rage?

12 First rule for life in the lounge: no swearing

13 East will always be east for lovers of freedom

14 My view from afar of Fergie’s flirtatious feuding

15 I need a new way to feed my England habit

16 This crimson blot will take three years to fade

17 José makes my day…in another dimension

18 Barwick must atone for the sins of his fathers

19 Capello’s trunks more titillating than his titles

Interview between Russell Brand and James Corden

20 Inner sanctums reveal soul of Hammers family

21 Watching Arsenal, thinking of Sting and Trudie

22 Don’t let Harry head north for shooting practice

23 If Keegan’s a messiah I want the Cockney Moses

24 Is Morrissey talking the language of West Ham?

25 Well done stern Fabio for defying our emotions

26 Let’s revolt against Lucre-more’s ludicracy

27 Potassium-rich fruit has no place in football

Interview between Russell Brand and Noel Gallagher

28 A lament for Gazza, whose gift became his curse

29 Congratulations to Spurs for their lowly bauble. SPURS ARE RUBBISH!

30 Is this the right fertiliser for Grays’ grassroots?

31 What’s the point in replaying a humiliation?

32 Hurrah for super, special, Sunday soccer-day

33 Capello’s words minced by sinister Nosferatu

34 My adventures with Beckham in wonderland

35 No replacing the man with a wiggle in his walk

36 From Bridge to Boleyn with Littlejohn on a limo-bike

37 Girls may turn my head but my heart is lost

38 Enthralled by a giddy mist of climactic hysteria

39 United to win – the Gods’ll never work this one out

40 One little slip and happiness goes out the window

Also by Russell Brand

Copyright

About the Publisher

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Cover Page

Title Page

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26 Let’s revolt against Lucre-more’s ludicracy

27 Potassium-rich fruit has no place in football

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