Every so often, our practical, science-dominated world is gifted with a mystic; a spirit-based, spirit-directed person. The world doesn't know how to deal with these people. They are disrespected at the very least, often bullied, sometimes drugged into submission and even institutionalized. Without recognition and support, the mystic believes there is something wrong with them. Unhealed, these individuals may abuse themselves. . . to the point that they might even consider killing themselves. . . and do so. <br><br>This book chronicles the author's 40-year journey of healing and personal growth; learning to accept himself as a gifted, hypersensitive, gay mystic. Mismatched to the norms and demands of his family, home religion, peers, and society, the author was a depressed, immature, and fearful recluse for 26 years of his life. Contemplating suicide at age 21, he heard a Voice. Learning to listen and follow that Voice, the author employed a range of traditional—and untraditional—religious and spiritual thought systems. The span of "technologies" include western and eastern religions, Quakerism, Twelve Step programs, the Course in Miracles, Men's work, past life regression, and channeling (automatic writing). In a Vision, this nontheist, birthright Jew realized to his surprise that The Voice guiding him on his journey was Jesus.<br><br>Hineni is an intensely personal and frank autobiography; an ethical will of how the author became a whole, human being, and what he learned and is still learning on his journey. This book can start a reader thinking about places s/he have been spiritually, as well as the places s/he might go. Hineni clearly shows that life is a journey; not a destination. That the tools and guides on that journey are personal integrity and inner guidance. And that any time or effort spent learning in any community or spiritual discipline is never a waste, because any and all efforts and understanding get incorporated in who that person is becoming. . . and we are all "becoming" until we leave the planet. <br><br>The reader is encouraged—and challenged—to ask what s/he knows and believes on the basic questions of being human. . . being a spiritual being having a human experience.
Оглавление
S. Joshua Mendel. Hineni: My Walk Into Beautiful Life
INTRODUCTION
TWO LIVES
AMAZING GRACE
GRACE ON MY BUTT
"YOU CAN'T MARRY THAT WOMAN"
SERVICE SAVES. . . ME!
"BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING!"
"NEVER AGAIN!"
MANY SPOKES, ONE HUB
A STIFF-NECKED JEW
TWELVE STEPS, THREE PROGRAMS
MEETING JESUS FOR THE FIRST TIME
"THIS IS A COURSE IN MIRACLES"
FOR GIVENESS
"JUST LIE AND SAY YES!"
"C and E"
GRACE AS ENERGY
GOLDEN PYRAMIDS AND GRANDMA
Channeling of March 7, 1997
INTERFAITH INTERACTIONS
"SIT DOWN!"
BUDDHA IS A REAL DEAL!
INTERMISSION
VISIONS
I AM A MAN
LESSONS IN LOVE
STRUGGLE TO INTIMACY
TRUE FRIENDSHIP
I (FINALLY!) COME OUT
Fantasy/Geographic Cure
Denial
Sublimation
Addiction
Neurosis (The Click in the Wall)
GAY IS JUST A THREE-LETTER WORD
SEX IS MORE THAN JUST A BIOLOGICAL DRIVE
SWEET SPOT—BAH!
GRACE-FULL HEALTH, DISEASE—AND MEDICAL BLASPHEMY
PATIENTS, MONEY, AND POWER
THE POWERS AND THE DOMINATION SYSTEM
THE WEBER COMEDY (TRAGEDY) HOURS
TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE!
SCOTT
AGING AND RESURRECTION
LIVING WELL
WEALTH IS A PROBLEM OF MY MIND
THIS IS A LIFE OF WORK
THERE ARE NO RULES!
EPILOGUE
NOTES, PICS AND BOOKS. NOTES IN THE TEXT:
ABOUT THE PICTURE:
LITERATURE MENTIONED IN THIS BOOK:
Отрывок из книги
Hineni—"Here I am, Lord"—is the response a number of biblical figures give God when they are Called to carry out something difficult or important. Abraham, when he is Commanded to sacrifice his son. Jacob when he is Told by God to take his family into Egypt. Moses, when he was Chosen to free the Hebrew slaves. It is said by men and women Anointed by God to become priests and prophets. And though I never read this in the so-called New Testament, I would guess that this word was spoken by Jesus at some point in his life!
For me, Hineni is a big word, with a lot of parts to it. First, Hineni is a statement that there is an "I" to show up in the space of God. It is a statement by that person: "I am willing to do Your Will." The most challenging to me are the agreements implied in Hineni: "I am going to do this; no matter how illogical this seems. No matter how hard this may turn out to be. No matter what the consequences to me or those I love. To my death if that is what is required."
.....
I am thankful I received some aspects of the parenting that I did. I am aware that there are parents out there who have little or no sense of duty to their children. My parents took their role for our safety and physical nurturance seriously and sincerely. (In fact, I think my parents erred trying to protect us kids too much.) It is still a source of wonder to me that a man who made $24,000 a year at the height of his earning power and a woman who was a part-time office worker turned out three, advanced-degreed professionals. I know that parenting took a toll on their emotional well-being and physical health.
My parents gave me far more emotional support than they received from their parents. And my mom and dad imparted many excellent qualities to me. Qualities that in some cases, and unfortunately for me, they themselves did not possess and so could not teach in a gentle, reasoned way. Discipline, for one prominent example. . .
