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Sabine Bösel. Lend me your ear and I'll give you my heart
Lend me your ear and I’ll give you my heart
Inhalt
A Matter of the Heart
1.Lend Me Your Ear And I’ll Give You My Heart
A Voyage of Discovery in Each Other’s Country
Relationship tourism
Pushing the curtain aside
Dialogue as a Bridge to Your Partner
Invitation to the dialogue
Having a dialogue
The power of dialogue
The goal is mutual benefit
What It Was Really About
2.Where Love Falls
Soulmates
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Prince Charming and the Dream Girl
The zebra effect
Pushing the right buttons
Accepting the power of the kinship of souls
What It Was Really About
3.You’re so Different from Me
Fascinating, the Way You Are
After the Sunshine Comes the Rain
The Lost Self
The four fields of core energy
Pot and lid
A Good Team—Recovering the Lost Self
Learning in small steps
What It Was Really About
4.The Dynamic Duo
Minimizers and Maximizers—Two Opposite Temperaments
The Turtle
The Hailstorm
The relationship dance
How do you turn into a turtle or a hailstorm?
I can find my counterpart anywhere
The Real Issue
The Goal
What It Was Really About
5.An Honest Look at Yourself Before Presenting Your Partner with a Relationship Book
It’s always me working on the relationship
I had a difficult childhood
My husband doesn’t help with the housework
Who is better – him or me?
I’m not pretty enough
Sexual assault
He only ever wants one thing
Men want to make us happy
What It Was Really About
6.Discover Your Feelings for Your Own Sake; Your Wife Will Be Thankful
This endless emotionalism
Like father, like son?
I am doing it for my wife’s sake
I will only accept help when the water is up to my neck
She spends hours talking about the same thing
My childhood was perfect!
My wife is so powerful
Careful, this is a test
What It Was Really About
7.A Thousand Reasons not to Talk to Each Other
The Space between You and Me
Both bear responsibility
Evasive Maneuvers
Escape hatches that can lead to disaster
Escape hatches with serious consequences
Daily escape hatches
Creating Awareness of Escape Hatches. How escape hatches are learned
Getting wise to your escape hatches
What It Was Really About
8.Finally, Someone Understands Me
The affair – A sign that something is missing in the relationship
Clarifying instead of escaping
Crises require closeness – The clearing period
Both are responsible for the misery
Embrace me, but don’t get too close!
What does she have that I don’t?
Children fight: for Mom, for Dad, and to keep the family together
Crises as the engine of development processes
What It Was Really About
9.I Want to Become a Better Person for You
Embrace Conflict
90:10 – The Twin Pack
A Double Gift
The gift for the frustrated one
Leaving behind recriminations
The gift for the one who frustrates
Patterns of survival are great
Unlearning and Learning—And Making Room for Something New
Small steps at the growth border
Expressing a request: positive, concrete, and measurable
Being able to accept and endure gifts
Stretch your emotional muscle
What It Was Really About
10.Just Last Summer I Told My Wife that I Love Her
Love wants to be shaped and developed
Different strokes for different folks
Tell me that you love me
Asking and questioning
Give me five!
The Five Love Languages
Gifts and surprises
Physical contact
Appreciation and compliments
Time for each other—exclusively
Helpfulness
What It Was Really About
11.Sex, Or the Simplest Thing in the World
The simplest thing in the world?
Eroticism and sex
Who is to blame for the lack of sex?
Security and passion
Sex and power struggles
Significant wounds and abuse
Feedback within physicality
The planned date vs. spontaneous sex
Bedroom Sanctuary
Your body
How often do you have sex?
The courage to try something new
Fantasy
What It Was Really About
12.Farewell Instead of Breaking Off
A Proper Farewell Provides a Basis for Something New
Pain Is a Healing Form of Energy
The Farewell Dialogue
We’re taking separate paths
Farewell to the living dead
I’m so furious
You should have stayed with the other guy
Forgotten, but not healed
Letting Go of Each Other
The time factor
What It Was Really About
13.Had Children, Built a House, Planted a Tree—What Next?
Man Strives as Long as He Lives
Growing and learning are the foundations of life
How Do I Find My Couples Vision?
Energy follows attention
Obstacles
How Much Luck Do You Deserve?
Trusting instead of tensing up
What It Was Really About
Thank You
