Оглавление
Steve Biddulph. Raising Girls in the 21st Century
Copyright
Contents
A Flight Manual for Your Girl. Will she fly or will she crash? It’s up to you!
Meet Kaycee and Genevieve
Kaycee’s Story
A Marked and Sudden Change
Genevieve’s Story
A Reality Check
Chapter 1. Creating a Total Girl
The Five Stages of Girlhood
Stage 1: Security – Am I safe and loved? (birth–2 years)
Stage 2: Exploring – Is the world a fun and interesting place? (2–5 years)
Stage 3: People skills – Can I get along with others? (5–10 years)
Stage 4: Finding her soul – Can I discover my deep-down self and what makes me truly happy? (10–14 years)
Stage 5: Stepping into adulthood – Can I take responsibility for my own life? (14–18 years)
Each Stage Asks a Question
GIRLS DO IT DIFFERENTLY – AND FASTER
THINK OF YOUR OWN LIFE
Using the Stages
CLINGY FOR A REASON
UNDER STRESS, WE ALL REGRESS!
In a Nutshell
Chapter 2. Right from the Start (Birth–2 years)
Learning to Connect
People Skills Start Very Young
Growing the PFC
The Gift of Calm
WHAT IS CALMNESS?
Crying and Sleep
You Also Have to Excite Your Baby!
THE HORMONES OF LOVE
HOW TO PLAY WITH A BABY
OUR BABY WILL FIT RIGHT IN (LOL!)
DON’T EDUCATE – JUST ENJOY
In a Nutshell
Chapter 3. Learning to Explore (2–5 years)
No Limits to Girlhood
Enthusiastic Learning
SECURITY LEADS TO EXPLORING
Lots of Arty Stuff Is Free
A SIMPLE ENVIRONMENT IS BEST
Clothes
MATILDA LEARNS NOT TO BE FEARFUL
Nature Is Essential
Three Should Be Free
Choosing Toys
Role Model or Pole Model?, by Paula Joye
MAKING HER STRONG. Raising a Strong Girl Starts Young
Seeing Things Through
Getting Your Daughter to Co-operate
TEACHING HER TO GET IT RIGHT
IT’S ALL ABOUT UNDERSTANDING NEEDS
A POSITIVE MOOD
WHEN IT COUNTS
In a Nutshell
Chapter 4. Getting Along with Others (5–10 years) Making Friends
How Friendship Grows
When Things Go Wrong
UNLIKELY FRIENDS
What Are the Skills of Friendship?
THE SAME-AGE GHETTO
Be a Friendship Role Model
A COUNSELLOR TALKS ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS AND GIRLS
What works?
Emily – Be My Shadow or Else!
What works?
Maya – The Unappreciated Matchmaker
What works?
Alpha Girls
How Feelings Work
Fear – And Listening to Your Intuition
GIRLS AND ASPERGER’S
A SECRET WORD
Anger Is About Being Strong
Sadness Is Real
Joy
Tend and Befriend
AVOIDING DUD FRIENDS
GIRLS AND SPORT
Pre-School Age
Before Adolescence
In Adolescence
WHAT HAPPENS IN PUBERTY?
Breasts
Pubic Hair
Menstruation
Hips
Other Stuff
Celebrate
GIRLS JOURNEYING TOGETHER: GIRLS’ GROUPS FOR THE YEAR OF GROWING UP
In a Nutshell
Chapter 5. Finding Her Soul (10–14 years)
Preparation Begins in Earnest
Spark
How About Your Daughter?
Not All Sparks Are Kept Alive
Why It Matters
Actions You Can Take …
A DIFFERENT GROUP OF FRIENDS
A PLACE TO MAKE AND DO
All That You Have Is Your Soul
What Works for Developing Soul?
SHOULD GIRLS HAVE PRIVACY FROM THEIR MUMS?
AUNTIES
KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON LOVING …
EARLY PUBERTY, CHEMICALS AND YOUR GIRL
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
WHAT TO DO ABOUT PREMATURE PUBERTY
IF YOUR DAUGHTER IS SAME-SEX ATTRACTED
The Facts
TEENAGE GIRLS AND SLEEP BY DR MICHAEL CARR-GREGG
What to Do?
Chapter 6. Preparing for Adulthood (14–18 years)
What Makes You an Adult?
PARENTS WHO COP OUT
Initiation Into Womanhood
Even Chores Teach You to Be Adult
Responsibility – The Toughest Lesson There Is
The Real Secret of Adulthood
A Singer Finds Her Soul2
Dreaming Forward
In a Nutshell
Chapter 7. The Rush We’re All In. Two Girlhoods, Two Ways of Life
HOW TO STRENGTHEN SELF-BELIEF
Girls’ Together Time
In a Nutshell
Chapter 8. Too Sexy Too Soon
#MeToo in School
What Can Be Done
NUDE SELFIES, AND OTHER STUFF WE NEVER HAD TO CONTEND WITH
How Happy Sexuality Grows By Itself
THE THREE L’S
THE FACTS
RELATIONSHIPS – HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG?
BEING SMART ABOUT BOYS – THE TALK YOU HAVE TO HAVE
The Bottom Line
The Partner You Want
Mr Wrong
Stopping the Toxic Flood
Can’t We Just Teach Them to Resist?
NIP AND TUCK
THE PEOPLE WE WORRY ABOUT
What Can We Do?
Step One – No TV in Bedrooms
Step Two – Consciously Decide What You View
Magazines
GIRLS AND DESIRE – WHAT SHOULD YOU TEACH YOUR DAUGHTER?
In a Nutshell
Chapter 9. Mean Girls
Small But Strong
It Takes Three
Speaking Up
The Importance of Bystanders
Everyone Experiences Bullying
GIRLS DO BULLYING DIFFERENTLY
Cyberbullying
Where Is This Meanness Coming From?
In a Nutshell
Chapter 10. Bodies, Weight and Food. By Lydia Jade Turner and Sarah McMahon
A Candle Burning at Both Ends
Why Dieting Is Harmful
THE WAY WE ARE MADE
How Fat-Shaming Just Makes Things Worse
The Other Extreme
What To Do Instead
How You Can Help Your Daughter
AN INDUSTRY OUT OF CONTROL
WHAT ARE EATING DISORDERS?
Early Warning Signs
Disordered Thinking
The Actual Behaviours
What to Do
Five Myths About Eating Disorders
SELF-HARM
What Is Self-Harm?
Factors That May Increase Self-Harm Behaviour
Reasons Why People Might Harm Themselves
How to Help Someone Who Self-Harms
In a Nutshell
Chapter 11. Alcohol and Other Drugs
What Parents of Girls Should Know and Teach
The Alcohol Pushers3
Binge Drinking
What to Do?
Esther’s Law
Chapter 12. Mirror, Mirror on the Screen. What to Do About Social Media
The Links Are Clear
What Goes Wrong?
What to Do
In a Nutshell
Chapter 13. Girls and Their Mums
How Role-Modelling Works
BEING A STEPMUM
Cleaning Up Your Act
Maximising Your Example
Letting Go
Home as a Haven
A GREAT FILM ABOUT MOTHERS
In a Nutshell
Chapter 14. Girls and Their Dads
He’s Strong and Safe
He Stays Connected
TRAGICALLY IGNORED
A Practice Man
How Not to Fight with Your Teenage Girl
HEARING HER OUT
RESPECT REALLY MATTERS
NO MORE PRINCESS
THE MAGIC OF ONE TO ONE
BEING CLEARLY NON-SEXUAL
Practical Stuff. Start Young
Find Common Interests
Listen a Lot
Write Notes and Letters
Be a Great Example of Manhood
IF YOU ARE A SINGLE MUM
What Happened to Kaycee?
Special Bonus Section: Where Do I Go from Here?
What Are the Ten Things Girls Need Most?
1. A secure and loving start
2. The chance to be wild, and time to be a child
3. Friendship skills
4. Backbone and strength
5. Spark, and a reason to be alive
6. The love and respect of a dad
7. Aunties, and a rite of passage
8. A happy sexuality
9. Feminism
10. Spirit
Notes
Contributors and Acknowledgements
About the Illustrator
Also by Steve Biddulph
About the Publisher
