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Sue Carroll & Sue Brealy. The Joy of Smoking: The Light-Hearted Look at Lighting Up
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
WHEN YOU STOP SMOKING YOU WILL:
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
UP IN SMOKE: A BRIEF ROMP THROUGH THE HISTORY OF TOBACCO
INHALE AND EXPIRE: THE HEALTH HYSTERICS AND THEIR IRON FIST OF LOVE
ALCOHOL. Wine can cause brain damage
Light drinking helps liver to recover
Wine drinking can ‘cut risk of cancer’
Cancer risk in a beer a day
Home office adviser links youth drinking with Aids
BREAST IMPLANTS. Study questions breast implant risks
CANDLES. Devout Catholics ‘risk lung cancer’
Candles now blamed for Earth’s pollution
CARS. Perils in the smoke
CHEMICALS. The toxic cocktail in our bodies
How clean-living might be the death of our children
Enjoying the smell of a new car ‘is like glue-sniffing’
COSMETICS AND NAPPY WIPES. Talcum alert after eight babies die
Can cosmetics give children cancer?
Soap linked to childhood eczema, study
THE DANGERS LURKING IN YOUR HOME. Cancer in electric blankets
Beware the killer lurking inside your shower
Attack of the potting sheds
Hidden risks of our hot houses
Halogen lamp poses cancer risk
One in seven pools could be a danger to your health
Food mixers and vacuum cleaners linked to cancer
DRUGS. Anti-depressants ‘link to risk of bleeding’
Aspirin study and risk of cancer
The dangers of HRT were overplayed, says expert
FOOD AND DRINK. Peril in bread roll: can hot dogs cause leukaemia?
Toast joins cancer danger list foods
Scientists warn of toxins in fish
Barbecued meat can be linked to cancer
Why food fads can turn into a deadly obsession
Pickled food linked with throat cancer
Sex drive warning to vegetarians and elderly
The dangers of herb tea
Sushi may cut smokers’ lung cancer risk, study suggests
Soya ‘risk’ to unborn children
How soya could help men beat cancer
They hailed it as a wonderfood. But soya destroys forests and can be bad for your health
Drinking milk ‘raises cancer risk to women’
Cereal linked to birth defects
Coffee and tea ‘are as bad as cigs’
Chocolate every day keeps the doctor away
We will have our peanuts back
Coffee linked with diabetes in babies
How a banana a day can keep strokes at bay
Why an apple a day won’t keep the dentist away
Barbecues are the equivalent of 220,000 cigarettes
How a salt-heavy diet can double cancer risk
FOWLS. Pet birds blamed for lung cancer
INSOMNIA. Drugs legacy of poor childhood sleep
LABELS. Lack of labels cause deaths
Killer plants for sale at garden centres
MOBILES. Bad back risk from mobiles
OH … ANYTHING REALLY. Risk of being the first child
SUN. Can the sun stop cancer?
TELEVISION. Insomnia link to excess TV watching
VITAMINS. The vitamin boost that could cause early death
WEIGHT. Fat drivers ‘more at risk in crashes’
How 75% of Britons will be obese in just 15 years
NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT … Coke scare blamed on mass hysteria
AND IT WASN’T ALL BAD … Health experts say Stones hero Keith should have died eight years ago
102 cheers old
SEX AND THE CIGGIE
THEY AD TO BE JOKING
‘YOU’RE NEVER ALONE WITH A STRAND’
‘I SMOKE ’EM BECAUSE MY NAME’S ON ’EM’
‘CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS YET?’
‘THEY’VE GONE DOWN.’ ‘NOT IN MY ESTIMATION, SIR.’
‘READY RUBBED’
‘HAPPINESS IS A CIGAR CALLED HAMLET’
‘COOL AS A MOUNTAIN STREAM’
‘MARLBORO COUNTRY’
‘OPEN ALL HOURS’
SMOKE AND YOUR ARMS WILL FALL OFF, AND OTHER RIDICULOUS MEDICAL RESEARCH
Non-smoking men have sex more often, and enjoy it more too
Smoking could reduce penis size
Smoking late in life could impair intelligence in the elderly
The effects of prenatal nicotine on human sexual orientation (or how smoking causes lesbianism.)
Smoking linked to genital wart duration
Second-hand smoke may cause cavities in children
Breast cancer link to smoking at puberty
Teen males who smoke risk sperm damage: study links birth defects to tobacco
Smoking during pregnancy linked to mental illness
Smoking mums recipe for tantrums
BUT SOMETIMES THE RESEARCH WENT OUR WAY … Warning: nicotine seriously improves health
Passive smoking doesn’t cause cancer – official
Ten a day OK, smokers told
A WRITE-ON PROFESSION: THE ROLE OF CIGARETTES IN BOOKS AND JOURNALISM
Journalism is a hazardous occupation
WRITERS ON SMOKING IN THEIR OWN WORDS
I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THE CRAZY, THE BANAL AND THE DOWNRIGHT DISGRACEFUL
SOME OFF-THE-WALL STORIES DEVOTED TO THE WEED
Exclusive, smoking saves life
Shock news, students spend money on booze and fags
CIG HEIL, THE RISE OF THE SMOKE POLICE
CIGGIE STARDUSTS: FAME AND CIGARETTES
Jeremy Irons: Actor
Julian Clary: Comedian
Nicki Haslam: Designer
Freddie Starr: Comedian
David Hockney: Artist
Anthony Worrall Thompson: TV chef and restaurateur
Jeremy Clarkson: Writer/TV presenter
Johnny Depp: Film star
Dale Winton: TV presenter
Brian Conley: Actor/comedian
SNUFFED IT: GREAT SMOKERS GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
Joe Jackson: Musician
Tommy Walsh: Ground Force gardener
Robert Elms: Style guru
Bill Wyman
Amanda Donahoe: Actress
Kate Winslet: Actress
Emmylou Harris: Singer
THEY’RE ANTI SMOKING: IS THIS A CLUB YOU’D WANT TO JOIN?
Joanna Lumley: Actress/writer
Anna Friel: Actress
Kate Moss: Model
Sharon Stone: Film star
Diana Rigg: Actress
Joan Collins: Actress/author
Goldie Hawn: Film star
Anna Kournikova: Tennis player
Joni Mitchell: Singer/songwriter
Marianne Faithfull: Singer
Drew Barrymore: Actress
Geri Halliwell: Singer
Jeanne Moreau: Actress
Melanie Griffith: Actress
Lisa Stansfield: Singer
Julia Sawalha: Actress
Liz Hurley: Model/actress
Kate Beckinsale: Actress
Liv Tyler: Actress
Grace Slick: Singer
Kathy Burke: Actress/director
Sophie Dahl: Model
Ellen Barkin: Film star
Cybill Shepherd: Comedian/actress
TOP 10 SMOKING TOWNS IN BRITAIN
BOTTOM 10 SMOKING TOWNS IN BRITAIN
Lisa Marie Presley: Daughter of Elvis
Victoria Coren: Journalist
Chloe Sevigny: Model/actress
MY MOST MEMORABLE SMOKE
Paul O’Grady: Actor/Comedian
Amanda Barrie: Actress
Dale Winton: TV Presenter
Brian Conley: Actor/Comedian
Denise Welch: Actress
Sophie Anderton: Model
France Zeffirelli: Film Director
Jilly Johnson: Model/Actress
Nicola Duffet: Actress
Sarah Lancashire: Actress
Anthony Worrall Thomson: Chef
Jeremy Clarkson: Top Gear Presenter and Columnist
Shane Richie: Eastenders Star
Daniella Westbrook: Actress
Nicola Wheeler: Emmerdale Actress
Simon Cowell: Pop Idol Star
POSTSCRIPT: THERE OUGHT NOT TO BE A LAW
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