Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners
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Thomas Blaikie. Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners
Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners. Thomas Blaikie
Table of Contents
Introduction
Manners in Public. Where to begin? ‘Good morning,’ ‘Thank you,’ pushing and shoving – among other things
Children
Get a move on: cashpoints and checkouts
Munch as you go and What’s that smell?
May I have your seat?
Not satisfied
Tipping
At the leisure centre or gym
Drunkenness
Mobile phones in public places
Chance encounters
Neighbours
The laying of flowers
Work Manners. What are work manners?
Greetings
Holding the door open
At the urinal
In the lift
In the canteen
Distractions
Interruptions
Thanking
Presents and cards
Smelly food – the CupaSoup nightmare
Office parties
Leave it as you found it and Would you do that at home?
Is that your mug?
Taking advantage
Overdoing it in various ways
Mobile phones at work
Office e-mail
Condoling at work
Communications Manners ‘Don’t take that call!’ Mobile phones in social life
Switched on or not switched on? The responsibilities of ownership
Texting and non-texting
Text conversations/ending text conversations
Tone/Misunderstandings in text conversations
When not to text
Language and grammar in texting
E-mailing
On the phone
Leaving messages
Let’s Get Together: Inviting and Accepting Manners. A question of honour: Being stood up, ‘flaking’ and the commitment problem
Saying no nicely
Divorce etiquette
They keep inviting us but we don’t want to go
Dropping in
Written invitations: What to write?
Inviting by telephone or e-mail
What is being offered/how to explain/what words to use
When to invite
Who to invite?
Confirming
How to reply
No reply at all!
Disinviting
Asking to be invited. Can I bring a friend?
Not invited!
Clothes Manners. What to wear?
Greetings Manners. The social-kissing question
Right on Time: Clock Manners. Sorry! We’re running late
I could have danced all night!
Late hosts
Food and Menu Manners. What shall I give them? Food for others
Eat it up!
Special orders
Sitting-down-to-eat Manners. What’s on the table
‘Placement’
‘Wiring in’
Slow eaters
Table manners
Nasty eating habits
Food stuck on the face
Do we mention the food?
Wine talk
Drunkenness
Breakages must be paid for
Returning-hospitality Manners: also the Problem of Richer Friends. Do we dare to ask them back?
What if your friends are hugely richer than you?
Names Manners. Names, names, names
That’s not my name!
More than one name: Nicknames and the in-crowd question
Call me what you like – I don’t mind
What-to-say Manners. Getting to know people: Perfect questions
Interrupting
Am I boring?
Putting your foot in it
Let’s have a heated debate
Talking about money – in one way or another
Name-dropping
Hideous embarrassments
Networking
Speaking and Language Manners ‘Now I will just say a few words’
Do I speak nicely?
Bad language
Rude stories
Special Manners for Special Occasions. Surviving the stand-up party
What are hosts supposed to do at the stand-up party?
Introducing at the stand-up party
Moving on at the stand-up party
Saying goodbye at the stand-up party
Strippograms
Surprise parties
Extreme Manners. Crisis situations: When they’ve just got to go – or have they?
Sex, Filth and Couples Manners. Chatting up, dating, turning down
Couples on their best behaviour
Filth
Body-hair manners
Substance Manners. Smoking
Drugs
Condolence Manners. Offering condolences
Acknowledging condolences
Holiday Manners. Villa holidays
Money Manners. Debts small and large, and Can we let them pay?
Children’s Manners – Mostly for Parents. Perfect dears
Other people’s children
Letters and Cards Manners. Thank-you letters and cards for meals and parties – a major rethink
Thanking if you’ve been to stay
Presents are different
Christmas cards
Round-robin letters
Presents and Gifts Manners. Presents: It’s the thought that counts
Do I bring a bottle?
Dog Manners. Such a lovely dog!
Staff Manners – Mainly for Punters and Employers. Waiter! Waiter!
I must clean for the cleaner
Other staff
Afterword
Acknowledgements
Also by Thomas Blaikie
Copyright
About the Publisher
Отрывок из книги
To my mother, whose manners are a miracle
Title Page
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Dog Manners
Staff Manners – Mainly for Punters and Employers
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