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Various. The Book of Humorous Verse
The Book of Humorous Verse
Table of Contents
THE BOOK OF HUMOROUS VERSE
I
BANTER
THE PLAYED-OUT HUMOURIST
THE PRACTICAL JOKER
TO PHŒBE
MALBROUCK
MARK TWAIN: A PIPE DREAM
FROM A FULL HEART
THE ULTIMATE JOY
OLD FASHIONED FUN
WHEN MOONLIKE ORE THE HAZURE SEAS
WHEN THE FROST IS ON THE PUNKIN
TWO MEN
A FAMILIAR LETTER TO SEVERAL CORRESPONDENTS
THE HEIGHT OF THE RIDICULOUS
SHAKE, MULLEARY AND GO-ETHE
A RONDELAY
WINTER DUSK
COMIC MISERIES
EARLY RISING
TO THE PLIOCENE SKULL
ODE TO WORK IN SPRINGTIME
OLD STUFF
TO MINERVA
THE LEGEND OF HEINZ VON STEIN
THE TRUTH ABOUT HORACE
PROPINQUITY NEEDED
IN THE CATACOMBS
OUR NATIVE BIRDS
THE PRAYER OF CYRUS BROWN
ERRING IN COMPANY
CUPID
IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO EAT
TO MY EMPTY PURSE
THE BIRTH OF SAINT PATRICK
HER LITTLE FEET
SCHOOL
THE MILLENNIUM
TO R. K
"EXACTLY SO"
COMPANIONS
A TALE OF A GRANDFATHER
THE SCHOOLMASTER
ABROAD WITH HIS SON
A APPEAL FOR ARE TO THE SEXTANT OF THE OLD BRICK MEETINOUSE
BY A GASPER
CUPID'S DARTS
WHICH ARE A GROWING MENACE TO THE PUBLIC
A PLEA FOR TRIGAMY
THE POPE
ALL AT SEA
THE VOYAGE OF A CERTAIN UNCERTAIN SAILORMAN
BALLAD OF THE PRIMITIVE JEST
VILLANELLE OF THINGS AMUSING
HOW TO EAT WATERMELONS
A VAGUE STORY
HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW
ON A DEAF HOUSEKEEPER
HOMŒOPATHIC SOUP
SOME LITTLE BUG
ON THE DOWNTOWN SIDE OF AN UPTOWN STREET
WRITTEN AFTER SWIMMING FROM SESTOS TO ABYDOS
THE FISHERMAN'S CHANT
REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE
NOT TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS
PREHISTORIC SMITH
QUATERNARY EPOCH—POST-PLIOCENE PERIOD
SONG
OF ONE ELEVEN YEARS IN PRISON
LYING
STRICTLY GERM-PROOF
THE LAY OF THE LOVER'S FRIEND
MAN'S PLACE IN NATURE
DEDICATED TO DARWIN AND HUXLEY
THE NEW VERSION
AMAZING FACTS ABOUT FOOD
TRANSCENDENTALISM
A "CAUDAL" LECTURE
SALAD
NEMESIS
"MONA LISA"
THE SIEGE OF DJKLXPRWBZ
RURAL BLISS
AN OLD BACHELOR
SONG
THE QUEST OF THE PURPLE COW
ST. PATRICK OF IRELAND, MY DEAR!
THE IRISH SCHOOLMASTER
REFLECTIONS ON CLEOPATHERA'S NEEDLE
THE ORIGIN OF IRELAND
AS TO THE WEATHER
THE TWINS
II
THE ETERNAL FEMININE
HE AND SHE
THE KISS
THE COURTIN'
HIRAM HOVER
A BALLAD OF NEW ENGLAND LIFE
BLOW ME EYES!
FIRST LOVE
WHAT IS A WOMAN LIKE?
MIS' SMITH
TRIOLET
BESSIE BROWN, M.D
A SKETCH FROM THE LIFE
MINGUILLO'S KISS
A KISS IN THE RAIN
THE LOVE-KNOT
OVER THE WAY
CHORUS OF WOMEN
FROM THE "THESMOPHORIAZUSÆ."
THE WIDOW MALONE
THE SMACK IN SCHOOL
'SPÄCIALLY JIM
KITTY OF COLERAINE
WHY DON'T THE MEN PROPOSE?
A PIN
THE WHISTLER
THE CLOUD
AN IDYLL OF THE WESTERN FRONT
CONSTANCY
AIN'T IT AWFUL, MABEL?
WING TEE WEE
PHYLLIS LEE
THE SORROWS OF WERTHER
THE UNATTAINABLE
RORY O'MORE; OR, GOOD OMENS
A DIALOGUE FROM PLATO
DORA VERSUS ROSE
TU QUOQUE
AN IDYLL IN THE CONSERVATORY
NOTHING TO WEAR
MY MISTRESS'S BOOTS
MRS. SMITH
A TERRIBLE INFANT
SUSAN
A KIND PROVIDENCE
"I DIDN'T LIKE HIM"
MY ANGELINE
NORA'S VOW
HUSBAND AND HEATHEN
THE LOST PLEIAD
THE NEW CHURCH ORGAN
LARRIE O'DEE
NO FAULT IN WOMEN
A COSMOPOLITAN WOMAN
COURTING IN KENTUCKY
ANY ONE WILL DO
A BIRD IN THE HAND
THE BELLE OF THE BALL
THE RETORT
BEHAVE YOURSEL' BEFORE FOLK
THE CHRONICLE: A BALLAD
BUXOM JOAN
OH, MY GERALDINE
THE PARTERRE
HOW TO ASK AND HAVE
SALLY IN OUR ALLEY
FALSE LOVE AND TRUE LOGIC
PET'S PUNISHMENT
AD CHLOEN, M.A
FRESH FROM HER CAMBRIDGE EXAMINATION
CHLOE, M.A
AD AMANTEM SUAM
THE FAIR MILLINGER
By the Watertown Horse-Car Conductor
TWO FISHERS
MAUD
ARE WOMEN FAIR?
THE PLAIDIE
FEMININE ARITHMETIC
LORD GUY
SARY "FIXES UP" THINGS
THE CONSTANT CANNIBAL MAIDEN
WIDOW BEDOTT TO ELDER SNIFFLES
UNDER THE MISTLETOE
THE BROKEN PITCHER
GIFTS RETURNED
III
LOVE AND COURTSHIP
NOUREDDIN, THE SON OF THE SHAH
THE USUAL WAY
THE WAY TO ARCADY
MY LOVE AND MY HEART
QUITE BY CHANCE
THE NUN
SUGGESTED BY PART OF THE ITALIAN SONG, BEGINNING "SE MONECA TI FAI."
THE CHEMIST TO HIS LOVE
CATEGORICAL COURTSHIP
LANTY LEARY
THE SECRET COMBINATION
FORTY YEARS AFTER
CUPID
PARING-TIME ANTICIPATED
WHY
THE SABINE FARMER'S SERENADE
I HAE LAID A HERRING IN SAUT
THE CLOWN'S COURTSHIP
OUT UPON IT
LOVE IS LIKE A DIZZINESS
THE KITCHEN CLOCK
LADY MINE
BALLADE OF THE GOLFER IN LOVE
BALLADE OF FORGOTTEN LOVES
IV
SATIRE
A BALLADE OF SUICIDE
FINNIGIN TO FLANNIGAN
STUDY OF AN ELEVATION, IN INDIAN INK
THE V-A-S-E
MINIVER CHEEVY
THE RECRUIT
OFFICER BRADY
THE MODERN RECRUIT
POST-IMPRESSIONISM
TO THE PORTRAIT OF "A GENTLEMAN,"
IN THE ATHENÆUM GALLERY
CACOËTHES SCRIBENDI
CONTENTMENT
"MAN WANTS BUT LITTLE HERE BELOW"
A BOSTON LULLABY
A GRAIN OF SALT
SONG
A PHILOSOPHER
THE MEETING OF THE CLABBERHUSES
THE IDEAL HUSBAND TO HIS WIFE
DISTICHS
THE HEN-ROOST MAN
IF THEY MEANT ALL THEY SAID
THE MAN
A THOUGHT
THE MUSICAL ASS
THE KNIFE-GRINDER
ST. ANTHONY'S SERMON TO THE FISHES
THE BATTLE OF BLENHEIM
THE THREE BLACK CROWS
TO THE TERRESTRIAL GLOBE
BY A MISERABLE WRETCH
ETIQUETTE
A MODEST WIT
THE LATEST DECALOGUE
A SIMILE
BY PARCELS POST
A DOMESTIC IDYLL
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
THE CONTRAST
THE DEVONSHIRE LANE
A SPLENDID FELLOW
IF
ACCEPTED AND WILL APPEAR
THE LITTLE VAGABOND
SYMPATHY
THE RELIGION OF HUDIBRAS
HOLY WILLIE'S PRAYER
THE LEARNED NEGRO
TRUE TO POLL
TRUST IN WOMEN
THE LITERARY LADY
TWELVE ARTICLES
ALL-SAINTS
HOW TO MAKE A MAN OF CONSEQUENCE
ON A MAGAZINE SONNET
PARADISE
A HINDOO LEGEND
THE FRIAR OF ORDERS GRAY
OF A CERTAIN MAN
CLEAN CLARA
CHRISTMAS CHIMES
THE RULING PASSION
From "Moral Essays," Epistle I
THE POPE AND THE NET
AN ACTOR
THE LOST SPECTACLES
THAT TEXAN CATTLE MAN
FABLE
HOCH! DER KAISER
WHAT MR. ROBINSON THINKS
THE CANDIDATE'S CREED
BIGLOW PAPERS
THE RAZOR SELLER
THE DEVIL'S WALK ON EARTH
FATHER MOLLOY
OR, THE CONFESSION
THE OWL-CRITIC
WHAT WILL WE DO?
LIFE IN LACONICS
ON KNOWING WHEN TO STOP
REV. GABE TUCKER'S REMARKS
THURSDAY
SKY-MAKING
TO PROFESSOR TYNDALL
THE POSITIVISTS
MARTIAL IN LONDON
THE SPLENDID SHILLING
AFTER HORACE
OF A PRECISE TAILOR
MONEY
BOSTON NURSERY RHYMES
KENTUCKY PHILOSOPHY
JOHN GRUMLIE
A SONG OF IMPOSSIBILITIES
SONG
THE OUBIT
DOUBLE BALLADE OF PRIMITIVE MAN
PHILLIS'S AGE
V
CYNICISM
GOOD AND BAD LUCK
BANGKOLIDYE
PENSÉES DE NOËL
A BALLADE OF AN ANTI-PURITAN
PESSIMISM
CYNICAL ODE TO AN ULTRA-CYNICAL PUBLIC
YOUTH AND ART
THE BACHELOR'S DREAM
ALL THINGS EXCEPT MYSELF I KNOW
THE JOYS OF MARRIAGE
THE THIRD PROPOSITION
THE BALLAD OF CASSANDRA BROWN
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
TOO LATE
THE ANNUITY
K. K.—CAN'T CALCULATE
NORTHERN FARMER
NEW STYLE
FIN DE SIÉCLE
THEN AG'IN
THE PESSIMIST
WITHOUT AND WITHIN
SAME OLD STORY
VI
EPIGRAMS
WOMAN'S WILL
CYNICUS TO W. SHAKESPEARE
SENEX TO MATT. PRIOR
TO A BLOCKHEAD
THE FOOL AND THE POET
A RHYMESTER
GILES'S HOPE
COLOGNE
AN ETERNAL POEM
ON A BAD SINGER
JOB
REASONS FOR DRINKING
SMATTERERS
HYPOCRISY
TO DOCTOR EMPIRIC
A REMEDY WORSE THAN THE DISEASE
A WIFE
THE HONEY-MOON
DIDO
IMPROMPTU EPIGRAM ON THE LATIN GERUNDS
AN EPITAPH
ON TAKING A WIFE
UPON BEING OBLIGED TO LEAVE A PLEASANT PARTY FROM THE WANT OF A PAIR OF BREECHES TO DRESS FOR DINNER IN
SOME LADIES
ON A SENSE OF HUMOUR
ON HEARING A LADY PRAISE A CERTAIN REV. DOCTOR'S EYES
EPITAPH INTENDED FOR HIS WIFE
TO A CAPRICIOUS FRIEND
IMITATED FROM MARTIAL
WHICH IS WHICH
ON A FULL-LENGTH PORTRAIT OF BEAU MARSH PLACED BETWEEN THE BUSTS OF NEWTON AND POPE
ON SCOTLAND
MENDAX
TO A SLOW WALKER AND QUICK EATER
WHAT'S MY THOUGHT LIKE?
OF ALL THE MEN
ON BUTLER'S MONUMENT
A CONJUGAL CONUNDRUM
VII
BURLESQUE
LOVERS AND A REFLECTION
OUR HYMN
"SOLDIER, REST!"
IMITATION
THE MIGHTY MUST
MIDSUMMER MADNESS
A SOLILOQUY
MAVRONE
ONE OF THOSE SAD IRISH POEMS, WITH NOTES
LILIES
FOR I AM SAD
A LITTLE SWIRL OF VERS LIBRE
NOT COVERED, STRANGE TO SAY, BY THE PENAL CODE
YOUNG LOCHINVAR
THE TRUE STORY IN BLANK VERSE
IMAGISTE LOVE LINES
BYGONES
JUSTICE TO SCOTLAND
AN UNPUBLISHED POEM BY BURNS
LAMENT OF THE SCOTCH-IRISH EXILE
A SONG OF SORROW
A LULLABYLET FOR A MAGAZINELET
THE REJECTED "NATIONAL HYMNS"
THE EDITOR'S WOOING
THE BABY'S DÉBUT[1]
THE CANTELOPE
POPULAR BALLAD: "NEVER FORGET YOUR PARENTS"
HOW A GIRL WAS TOO RECKLESS OF GRAMMAR
BEHOLD THE DEEDS!
CHANT ROYAL
VILLON'S STRAIGHT TIP TO ALL CROSS COVES
CULTURE IN THE SLUMS
THE LAWYER'S INVOCATION TO SPRING
NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, AND WEST
AFTER R. K
MARTIN LUTHER AT POTSDAM
AN IDYLL OF PHATTE AND LEENE
THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT
PALABRAS GRANDIOSAS
AFTER T—— B—— A——
A LOVE PLAYNT—1370
DARWINITY
SELECT PASSAGES FROM A COMING PORT
THE ROMAUNT OF HUMPTY DUMPTY
THE WEDDING
IN MEMORIAM TECHNICAM
"SONGS WITHOUT WORDS"
AT THE SIGN OF THE COCK
FRENCH STYLE, 1898
PRESTO FURIOSO
AFTER WALT WHITMAN
TO JULIA IN SHOOTING TOGS AND A HERRICKOSE VEIN
FAREWELL
PROVOKED BY CALVERLEY'S "FOREVER"
HERE IS THE TALE
AFTER RUDYARD KIPLING
THE WILLOWS
A BALLAD
IN THE MANNER OF R-DY-RD K-PL-NG
THE TRANSLATED WAY
COMMONPLACES
ANGELO ORDERS HIS DINNER
THE PROMISSORY NOTE
CAMERADOS
THE LAST RIDE TOGETHER
FROM HER POINT OF VIEW
IMITATION OF WALT WHITMAN
SALAD
IF
THE JABBERWOCKY OF AUTHORS
THE TOWN OF NICE
MAY, 1874
THE WILLOW-TREE
ANOTHER VERSION
A BALLADE OF BALLADE-MONGERS
AFTER THE MANNER OF MASTER FRANÇOIS VILLON OF PARIS
VIII
BATHOS
THE CONFESSION
IF YOU HAVE SEEN
CIRCUMSTANCE
THE ORANGE
ELEGY
OUR TRAVELLER
OPTIMISM
THE DECLARATION
HE CAME TO PAY
THE FORLORN ONE
RURAL RAPTURES
A FRAGMENT
THE BITER BIT
COMFORT IN AFFLICTION
THE HUSBAND'S PETITION
LINES WRITTEN AFTER A BATTLE
BY AN ASSISTANT SURGEON OF THE NINETEENTH NANKEENS
LINES
ADDRESSED TO ** **** ***** ON THE 29TH OF SEPTEMBER, WHEN WE PARTED FOR THE LAST TIME
THE IMAGINATIVE CRISIS
IX
PARODY
THE HIGHER PANTHEISM IN A NUTSHELL
NEPHELIDIA
UP THE SPOUT
IN IMMEMORIAM
LUCY LAKE
THE COCK AND THE BULL
BALLAD
DISASTER
WORDSWORTHIAN REMINISCENCE
INSPECT US
THE MESSED DAMOZEL
AT THE CUBIST EXHIBITION
A MELTON MOWBRAY PORK-PIE
ISRAFIDDLESTRINGS
AFTER DILETTANTE CONCETTI
WHENCENESS OF THE WHICH
SOME DISTANCE AFTER TENNYSON
THE LITTLE STAR
THE ORIGINAL LAMB
SAINTE MARGÉRIE
ROBERT FROST
RELATES THE DEATH OF THE TIRED MAN
OWEN SEAMAN
ESTABLISHES THE "ENTENTE CORDIALE" BY RECITING "THE SINGULAR STUPIDITY OF J. SPRATT, ESQ.," IN THE MANNER OF GUY WETMORE CARRYL
THE MODERN HIAWATHA
SOMEWHERE-IN-EUROPE-WOCKY
RIGID BODY SINGS
A BALLAD OF HIGH ENDEAVOR
FATHER WILLIAM
THE POETS AT TEA
HOW OFTEN
IF I SHOULD DIE TO-NIGHT
"THE DAY IS DONE"
JACOB
BALLAD OF THE CANAL
THERE'S A BOWER OF BEAN-VINES
REUBEN
THE WIFE
WHEN LOVELY WOMAN
JOHN THOMPSON'S DAUGHTER
A PORTRAIT
ANNABEL LEE
HOME SWEET HOME WITH VARIATIONS
AN OLD SONG BY NEW SINGERS
IN THE ORIGINAL
MORE IMPRESSIONS
LA FUITE DES OIES
NURSERY RHYMES À LA MODE
A MAUDLE-IN BALLAD
TO HIS LILY
GILLIAN
EXTRACTS FKOM THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR CAYENNE
DIVERSIONS OF THE RE-ECHO CLUB
STYX RIVER ANTHOLOGY
ANSWER TO MASTER WITHER'S SONG, "SHALL I, WASTING IN DESPAIR?"
SONG OF THE SPRINGTIDE
THE VILLAGE CHOIR
MY FOE
NURSERY SONG IN PIDGIN ENGLISH
FATHER WILLIAM
A POE-'EM OF PASSION
HOW THE DAUGHTERS COME DOWN AT DUNOON
TO AN IMPORTUNATE HOST
DURING DINNER AND AFTER TENNYSON
CREMATION
BY A BURNING ADMIRER OF SIR HENRY THOMPSON
AN IMITATION OF WORDSWORTH
THE LAY OF THE LOVE-LORN
PARODY ON TENNYSON'S "LOCKSLEY HALL"
ONLY SEVEN
A PASTORAL STORY AFTER WORDSWORTH
'TWAS EVER THUS
FOAM AND FANGS
X
NARRATIVE
LITTLE BILLEE
THE CRYSTAL PALACE
THE WOFLE NEW BALLAD OF JANE RONEY AND MARY BROWN
KING JOHN AND THE ABBOT
ON THE DEATH OF A FAVORITE CAT,
DROWNED IN A TUB OF GOLDFISHES
MISADVENTURES AT MARGATE
A LEGEND OF JARVIS'S JETTY
THE GOUTY MERCHANT AND THE STRANGER
THE DIVERTING HISTORY OF JOHN GILPIN
SHOWING HOW HE WENT FARTHER THAN HE INTENDED AND CAME SAFE HOME AGAIN
PADDY O'RAFTHER
HERE SHE GOES, AND THERE SHE GOES
THE QUAKER'S MEETING
THE JESTER CONDEMNED TO DEATH
THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE;
OR, THE WONDERFUL "ONE-HOSS SHAY"
THE BALLAD OF THE OYSTERMAN
THE WELL OF ST. KEYNE
THE JACKDAW OF RHEIMS
THE KNIGHT AND THE LADY
AN EASTERN QUESTION
MY AUNT'S SPECTRE
CASEY AT THE BAT
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
THE GOOSE
THE BALLAD OF CHARITY
THE POST CAPTAIN
ROBINSON CRUSOE'S STORY
BEN BLUFF
THE PILGRIMS AND THE PEAS
TAM O'SHANTER
THAT GENTLE MAN FROM BOSTON TOWN
AN IDYL OF OREGON
THE YARN OF THE "NANCY BELL"
FERDINANDO AND ELVIRA
OR, THE GENTLE PIEMAN
GENTLE ALICE BROWN
THE STORY OF PRINCE AGIB
SIR GUY THE CRUSADER
KITTY WANTS TO WRITE
DIGHTON IS ENGAGED!
PLAIN LANGUAGE FROM TRUTHFUL JAMES
TABLE MOUNTAIN, 1870
THE SOCIETY UPON THE STANISLAUS
"JIM"
WILLIAM BROWN OF OREGON
LITTLE BREECHES
THE ENCHANTED SHIRT
JIM BLUDSO
WRECK OF THE "JULIE PLANTE"
THE ALARMED SKIPPER
"IT WAS AN ANCIENT MARINER"
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN
SAYING NOT MEANING
HANS BREITMANN'S PARTY
BALLAD BY HANS BREITMANN
GRAMPY SINGS A SONG
THE FIRST BANJO
THE ROMANCE OF THE CARPET
THE HUNTING OF THE SNARK
THE OLD MAN AND JIM
A SAILOR'S YARN
THE CONVERTED CANNIBALS
THE RETIRED PORK-BUTCHER AND THE SPOOK
SKIPPER IRESON'S RIDE
DARIUS GREEN AND HIS FLYING-MACHINE
A GREAT FIGHT
THE DONNYBROOK JIG
UNFORTUNATE MISS BAILEY
THE LAIRD O' COCKPEN
A WEDDING
THE AHKOOND OF SWAT
DIRGE OF THE MOOLLA OF KOTAL,
RIVAL OF THE AKHOOND OF SWAT
THE BALLAD OF BOUILLABAISSE
OULD DOCTOR MACK
FATHER O'FLYNN
THE BALD-HEADED TYRANT
BARNEY McGEE
ADDRESS TO THE TOOTHACHE
A FAREWELL TO TOBACCO
JOHN BARLEYCORN
STANZAS TO PALE ALE
ODE TO TOBACCO
SONNET TO A CLAM
DUM TACENT CLAIMANT
TO A FLY
TAKEN OUT OF A BOWL Of PUNCH
ODE TO A BOBTAILED CAT
A DIRGE
CONCERNING THE LATE LAMENTED KING OF THE CANNIBAL ISLANDS
PARSON GRAY
THE IRISHMAN AND THE LADY
THE CATARACT OF LODORE
LAY OF THE DESERTED INFLUENZAED
BELAGCHOLLY DAYS
RHYME OF THE RAIL
ECHO
SONG
A GENTLE ECHO ON WOMAN
IN THE DORIC MANNER
LAY OF ANCIENT ROME
A NEW SONG
OF NEW SIMILES
THE AMERICAN TRAVELLER
THE ZEALLESS XYLOGRAPHER
DEDICATED TO THE END OF THE DICTIONARY
THE OLD LINE FENCE
O-U-G-H
A FRESH HACK AT AN OLD KNOT
ENIGMA ON THE LETTER H
TRAVESTY OF MISS FANSHAWE'S ENIGMA
AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG
AN EPITAPH
OLD GRIMES
THE ENDLESS SONG
THE HUNDRED BEST BOOKS
THE COSMIC EGG
FIVE WINES
A RHYME FOR MUSICIANS
MY MADELINE
SERENADE IN M FLAT. SUNG BY MAJOR MARMADUKE MUTTONHEAD TO MADEMOISELLE MADELINE MENDOZA
SUSAN SIMPSON
THE MARCH TO MOSCOW
HALF HOURS WITH THE CLASSICS
ON THE OXFORD CARRIER
NINETY-NINE IN THE SHADE
THE TRIOLET
THE RONDEAU
LIFE[1]
ODE TO THE HUMAN HEART
A STRIKE AMONG THE POETS
WHATEVER IS, IS RIGHT
NOTHING
DIRGE
O D V
CONTAINING A FULL, TRUE, AND PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF THE TERRIBLE FATE OF ABRAHAM ISAACS, OF IVY LANE
A MAN OF WORDS
SIMILES
NO!
FAITHLESS SALLY BROWN
TIM TURPIN
FAITHLESS NELLY GRAY
SALLY SIMPKIN'S LAMENT
DEATH'S RAMBLE
PANEGYRIC ON THE LADIES
READ ALTERNATE LINES
AMBIGUOUS LINES
READ WITH A COMMA AFTER THE FIRST NOUN IN EACH LINE
SURNAMES
A TERNARY OF LITTLES, UPON A PIPKIN OF JELLY SENT TO A LADY
A CARMAN'S ACCOUNT OF A LAW-SUIT
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND
NONGTONGPAW
LOGICAL ENGLISH
LOGIC
THE CAREFUL PENMAN
QUESTIONS WITH ANSWERS
CONJUGAL CONJUGATIONS
LOVE'S MOODS AND SENSES
THE SIEGE OF BELGRADE
THE HAPPY MAN
THE BELLS
TAKINGS
A BACHELOR'S MONO-RHYME
THE ART OF BOOK-KEEPING
AN INVITATION TO THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS
BY A STUTTERING LOVER
A NOCTURNAL SKETCH
LOVELILTS
JOCOSA LYRA
TO A THESAURUS
THE FUTURE OF THE CLASSICS
CAUTIONARY VERSES
THE WAR: A-Z
LINES TO MISS FLORENCE HUNTINGDON
TO MY NOSE
A POLKA LYRIC
A CATALECTIC MONODY!
ODE FOR A SOCIAL MEETING
WITH SLIGHT ALTERATIONS BY A TEETOTALER[1]
THE JOVIAL PRIEST'S CONFESSION
TRANSLATED FROM THE LATIN OF WALTER DE MAPES, TIME OF HENRY II
LIMERICKS
XIII
NONSENSE
LUNAR STANZAS
THE WHANGO TREE
THREE CHILDREN
'TIS MIDNIGHT
COSSIMBAZAR
AN UNSUSPECTED FACT
THE CUMBERBUNCE
MR. FINNEY'S TURNIP
NONSENSE VERSES
LIKE TO THE THUNDERING TONE
ÆSTIVATION
UNCLE SIMON AND UNCLE JIM
A TRAGIC STORY
SONNET FOUND IN A DESERTED MAD HOUSE
THE JIM-JAM KING OF THE JOU-JOUS
AN ARABIAN LEGEND
TO MARIE
MY DREAM
THE ROLLICKING MASTODON
THE INVISIBLE BRIDGE
THE LAZY ROOF
MY FEET
SPIRK TROLL-DERISIVE
THE MAN IN THE MOON
THE LUGUBRIOUS WHING-WHANG
THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO
THE JUMBLIES
THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES
THE NEW VESTMENTS
THE TWO OLD BACHELORS
JABBERWOCKY
WAYS AND MEANS
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S RECITATION
SOME HALLUCINATIONS
SING FOR THE GARISH EYE
THE SHIPWRECK
UFFIA
'TIS SWEET TO ROAM
THREE JOVIAL HUNTSMEN
KING ARTHUR
HYDER IDDLE
THE OCEAN WANDERER
SCIENTIFIC PROOF
THE THINGUMBOB
A PASTEL
WONDERS OF NATURE
LINES BY AN OLD FOGY
A COUNTRY SUMMER PASTORAL
TURVEY TOP
A BALLAD OF BEDLAM
XIV
NATURAL HISTORY
THE FASTIDIOUS SERPENT
THE LEGEND OF THE FIRST CAM-U-EL
AN ARABIAN APOLOGUE
UNSATISFIED YEARNING
KINDLY ADVICE
KINDNESS TO ANIMALS
TO BE OR NOT TO BE
THE HEN
OF BAITING THE LION
THE FLAMINGO
WHY DOTH A PUSSY CAT?
THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER
NIRVANA
THE CATFISH
WAR RELIEF
THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT
MEXICAN SERENADE
ORPHAN BORN
DIVIDED DESTINIES
THE VIPER
THE LLAMA
THE YAK
THE FROG
THE MICROBE
THE GREAT BLACK CROW
THE COLUBRIAD
THE RETIRED CAT
A DARWINIAN BALLAD
THE PIG
A COLLOQUIAL POEM
A FISH STORY
THE CAMERONIAN CAT
THE YOUNG GAZELLE
A MOORE-ISH TALE
THE BALLAD OF THE EMEU
THE TURTLE AND FLAMINGO
XV
JUNIORS
PRIOR TO MISS BELLE'S APPEARANCE
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
THE NAUGHTY DARKEY BOY
DUTCH LULLABY
THE DINKEY-BIRD
THE LITTLE PEACH
COUNSEL TO THOSE THAT EAT
HOME AND MOTHER
LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE
A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS
A NURSERY LEGEND
A LITTLE GOOSE
LEEDLE YAWCOB STRAUSS
A PARENTAL ODE TO MY SON, AGED THREE YEARS AND FIVE MONTHS
LITTLE MAMMA
THE COMICAL GIRL
BUNCHES OF GRAPES
XVI
IMMORTAL STANZAS
THE PURPLE COW
THE YOUNG LADY OF NIGER
THE LAUGHING WILLOW
SAID OPIE READ
MANILA
ON THE ARISTOCRACY OF HARVARD
ON THE DEMOCRACY OF YALE
THE HERRING
IF THE MAN
THE KILKENNY CATS
POOR DEAR GRANDPAPA
MORE WALKS
INDIFFERENCE
MADAME SANS SOUCI
A RIDDLE
IF
THE END
INDICES
INDEX OF AUTHORS
INDEX OF FIRST LINES
INDEX OF TITLES
