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Various. Shakespeare Jest-Books
Shakespeare Jest-Books
Table of Contents
VOL. I
Shakespeare Jest-Books;
REPRINTS OF THE EARLY. AND VERY RARE JEST-BOOKS SUPPOSED TO. HAVE BEEN USED BY SHAKESPEARE. A Hundred Mery Talys,
FROM THE ONLY KNOWN COPY. II
Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres,
FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567
BY. W. CAREW HAZLITT,
OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW
¶ A C. mery. Talys
The Table
INTRODUCTION
A C. MERY TALYS
¶ Of hym that said there were but two commandementes. i
¶ Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her husbande disguised in her rayment. ii
¶ Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell. iii
¶ Of the ryche man and his two sonnes. iv
¶ Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment. v
¶ Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute. vi
¶ Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion. vii
¶ Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept. viii
¶ Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late. ix
¶ Of the mylner with the golden thombe.[17] x
¶ Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the frere. xi
¶ Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum. xii
¶ Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other the tayle. xiii
¶ Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the fryday. xiv
¶ Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde. xv
¶ Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a shepe. xvi
¶ Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde. xvii
¶ Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male. xviii
¶ Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage. xix
¶ Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for hys soule. xx
¶ Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere. xxi
¶ Of the thre wyse men of Gotam. xxii
¶ Of the graye frere that answered his penytente. xxiii
¶ Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke. xxiv
¶ Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon. xxv
¶ Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her owne. xxvi
¶ Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle. xxvii
¶ Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere. xxviii
¶ Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male. xxix
¶ Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe. xxx
¶ Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii. fysshys. xxxi
¶ Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone. xxxii
¶ Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman. xxxiii
¶ Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare. xxxiv
¶ Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten xxxv
¶ Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer. xxxvi
¶ Of the thre men that chose the woman. xxxvii
¶ Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake. xxxviii
¶ Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet typet. xxxix
¶ Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii fesauntes. xl
¶ Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter. xli
¶ Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen. xlii
¶ Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke sweetly. xliii
¶ Of the maydes answere that was with chylde. xliv
¶ Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster. xlv
¶ Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape. xlvi
¶ Of hym that solde ryght nought. xlvii
¶ Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes. xlviii
¶ Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money. xlix
¶ Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man. l
¶ Of the courtear and the carter. li
¶ Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster. lii
¶ Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria. liii
¶ Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede. liv
¶ Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis. lv
¶ Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste. lvi
¶ Of the man of lawes sonnes answer. lvii
¶ Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge. lviii
¶ Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see. lix
¶ Of the man that had the dome wyfe. lx
¶ Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe. lxi
¶ Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste. lxii
¶ Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght. lxiii
¶ Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe. lxiv
¶ Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me. lxv
¶ Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw. lxvi
¶ Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii. lxvii
¶ Of the frere that stale the podynge.[114] lxviii
¶ Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres. lxix
¶ Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde. lxx
¶ Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote. lxxi
¶ Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote. lxxii
¶ Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were. lxxiii
¶ Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed. lxxiv
¶ Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell.[119] lxxv
¶ Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe. lxxvi
¶ Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce. lxxvii
¶ Of the parson that stale the mylners elys. lxxviii
¶ Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God. lxxix
¶ Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule. lxxx
¶ Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul. lxxxi
¶ Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn. lxxxii
¶ Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny. lxxxiii
¶ Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well. lxxxiv
¶ Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope. lxxxv
¶ Of the woman that stale the pot. lxxxvi
¶ Of mayster Whyttynton dreme.[134] lxxxvii
¶ Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus. lxxxviii
¶ Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke. lxxxix
¶ Of hym that brought a botell to a preste. xc
¶ Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth. xci
¶ Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday. xcii
¶ Of the one broder that founde a purs. xciii
¶ Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde. xciv
¶ Of the northern man that was all harte. xcv
¶ Of the burnynge of olde John. xcvi
¶ Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde. xcvii
¶ Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe. xcix
¶ Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely. c
ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS
A C. MERY TALYS
¶ Tales, and quicke. answers, very mery, and pleasant to. rede
Mery Tales, Wittie
Questions
and Quicke Answeres,
Very pleasant to. be Readde
The Table
TALES. AND. QUICKE ANSWERES
¶ Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on foote. i
¶ Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day. ii
¶ Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes. iii
¶ Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons. iiii
¶ Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage. v
¶ Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe. vi
¶ Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge. vii
¶ Of hym that felle into the fyre. viii
¶ Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles. ix
¶ Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth. x
¶ Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose. xi
¶ The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit. xii
¶ Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete. xiii
¶ Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed. xiiii
¶ Of him that lost his purse in London. xv
¶ Of the marchaunt that lost his bodgette betwene Ware and Lon[don]. xvi
¶ Of him that was called cuckolde. xvii
¶ Of the iolous man. xviii
¶ Of the fatte woman that solde frute. xix
¶ Of a poller that begyled a prest. xx
¶ Of Papirius pretextatus. xxi
¶ Of the corrupte man of lawe. xxii
¶ Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman. xxiii
¶ Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge. xxiiii
¶ Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch. xxv
¶ Of the astronomer that theues robbed. xxvi
¶ Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster. xxvii
¶ Of him that dreamed he fonde golde. xxviii
¶ Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a myle of. xxix
¶ Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe. xxx
¶ Of the frier that brayde in his sermon. xxxi
¶ The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban. xxxii
¶ Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis. xxxiii
¶ The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour. xxxiiii
¶ Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant. xxxv
¶ Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord. xxxvi
¶ Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence. xxxvii
¶ Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue. xxxviii
¶ Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge. xxxix
¶ Of the hermite of Padowe. xl
¶ Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge. xli
¶ Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse. xlii
¶ Of the deceytfull scriuener. xliii
¶ Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste. xliiii
¶ Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea. xlv
¶ Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe. xlvi
¶ Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise. xlvii
¶ Of the phisitian Eumonus. xlviii
¶ Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe. xlix
¶ Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an asse. l
¶ Of the inholders[222] wyfe and her ii louers. li
¶ Of hym that healed franticke men. lii
¶ Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge. liii
¶ Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man. liiii
¶ Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme. lv
¶ Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet. lvi
¶ Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner. lvii
¶ Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed. lviii
¶ Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to sylle. lix
¶ Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe. lx
¶ The answere of Fabius to Liuius. lxi
¶ The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan embassadors.[246] lxii
¶ The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche armye. lxiii
¶ The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the kynge. lxiiii
¶ Of him that loued the marchants wyfe. lxv
¶ Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile. lxvi
¶ Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette. lxvii
¶ Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction. lxviii
¶ Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde. lxix
¶ Of him that desired to be made a gentilman. lxx
¶ Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe. lxxi
¶ Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham.[258] lxxii
¶ Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse. lxxiii
¶ Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer. lxxiiii
¶ Of hym that the olde roode fell on. lxxv
¶ Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure. lxxvi
¶ Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike. lxxvii
¶ How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man. lxxix
¶ Of the olde man, that quengered[267] the boy oute of the apletree with stones. lxxx
¶ Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster. lxxxi
¶ Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do. lxxxii
¶ Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte.[270] lxxxiii
¶ Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge. lxxxiiii
¶ Of hym that had his goose stole. lxxxv
¶ Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone. lxxxvi
¶ Of Dantes answere to the iester. lxxxvii
¶ Of hym that had sore eyes.[274] lxxxviii
¶ Of the olde woman that had sore eyes. lxxxix
¶ Of hym that had the custodi of a warde. xc
¶ Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children. xci
¶ Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer. xcii
¶ Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles. xciii
¶ Of the chesshire man called Eulyn. xciiii
¶ Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori. xcv
¶ Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of capons. xcvi
¶ Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether. xcvii
¶ Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes. xcviii
¶ Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede. xcix
¶ Of the fryer that confessed the woman.[287] c
¶ Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer. ci
¶ Of the same chaplen and one that spited him. cii
¶ Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes. ciii
¶ Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde. ciiii
¶ Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men. cv
¶ Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s.[295] cvi
¶ Of Demosthenes and Phocion. cvii
¶ Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte. cviii
¶ Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne. cix
¶ Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates. cx
¶ Of Titus and the iester. cxi
¶ Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete.[297] cxii
¶ Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne. cxiii
¶ Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed agaynst hym. cxiiii
¶ Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie. cxv
¶ Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man. cxvi
¶ Of the vplandishe[303] priest, that preached of Charitie. cxvii
¶ Another sayinge of the same preest. cxviii
¶ Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis. cxix
¶ Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell water. cxx
¶ Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him selfe. cxxi
¶ Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and his cardinals. cxxii
¶ Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies. cxxiii
¶ Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus. cxxiv
¶ Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia. cxxv
¶ Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus. cxxvi
¶ Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man.[315] cxxvii
¶ Of the Canon and his man. cxxviii
¶ Of the same Canon and his sayd man. cxxix
¶ Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng. cxxx
¶ Of the blynde man and his boye. cxxxi
¶ Of him that sold two lodes of hey. cxxxii
¶ How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe. cxxxiii
¶ How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought. cxxxiiii
¶ Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus. cxxxv
¶ Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler. cxxxvi
¶ Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher. cxxxvii
¶ Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller.[339] cxxxviii
¶ An other tale of the same frenche kyng.[340] cxxxix
¶ What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng. cxl
ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS
MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES
FOOTNOTES:
