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Birthday. A sad holiday
There is a common phrase: “Born in a shirt.” Or “Born a second time.” Choosing a birthday present is a separate topic. The gift should be large and unnecessary. If there is nothing to donate, donate money. People love money – that’s a fact. Many do not like that very day, why?! Perhaps they inattentively read the Bible, which says that a person has two most important dates in his life – this is his birthday and the day of death, and life is a line on a tombstone. Therefore, during life, you must definitely celebrate your birthday. Others will celebrate the day of your death.
I turned fifty-five. Anniversary. A beautiful combination of numbers. There is still health, but no senile marasmus.The “barrel” of alcohol allocated for life has been drunk long ago. As the senior comrade aptly remarked: “I would also like to ride a goat, but it’s too late.” What to give a person for fifty-five? Medal? You immediately remembered the medals with numbers, which begin exactly with fifty fifty and end with ninety. I have never seen the anniversary medal ninety or five hundred. The most demanded are fifty-five. But we digress from the gift. We also have creative people in our office. They approached the gift in a cardinally expressive way, chipped in and gave me… the long-awaited (as they usually write on the Internet) flight tofighter. Of course, I always did not mind flying, especially not on anything, but on a fighter. And I do it every day. I downloaded a simulator to my computer. I got a joystick. And he flew. He landed on an aircraft carrier. So, turn off the autopilot, go visually to the deck of the aircraft carrier. We release the landing gear, flaps, brake hook, maintain the glide path, maintain the speed. The deck approaches, the tension grows and then bang, my little daughter presses the ejection button on the keyboard. The fighter falls into the water, and I parachute into the ocean. We start all over again. Where is the entry point to the glide path?!?And then the very day has come, which is “long-awaited”. Going through pre-flight check-up, putting on my flight suit. And there were two options. The first is to put on a jumpsuit, and the second is to wear pants with a jacket. Unknowingly, I chose pants with a jacket, which I later regretted. The clothes seemed comfortable and loose. Fashionable pants with suspenders. I decided to ignore them (suspenders). Then they put on overload pants, asked me to zip up and put all the items out of my pockets. Otherwise, the contents of these very pockets may fall out during alternating overloads and something will jam. They gave me a helmet with a comforter and an oxygen mask. And now the idiot’s dream has come true. I take a seat in the second cockpit of the fighter. I look at the devices with interest. They strap me to the chair and set my GoPro camera.
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The weather is a million in a million. Awesome from the impressions, I sat happy in an unbuttoned helmet with an open “visor”, anti-overload pants and an oxygen mask not connected to the aircraft system, with loosened seat belts and waited for takeoff. How did it happen? As always. First one, then the other prevented.
Takeoff was cleared. We take off. On the run, I pressed heavily into the chair. After taking off the plane from the runway, the pilot sent it “vertically” up. With a large pitch angle and +4G overload. It’s not for you to fly on a computer. Everything is real here. The body sank even more into the chair. After a sharp climb, the pilot “breaks” the flight trajectory with the handle away from himself and a negative overload appears.Suddenly, I separate from the chair and the body tries to fly away, beyond my desire. Hands are looking for something to catch on. And now I grab the chair. There comes across some kind of handle and I squeeze it, hoping to hold on.
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