Fall or Fly

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Wendy Welch. Fall or Fly

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FALL OR FLY

The Strangely Hopeful Story of Foster Care and Adoption in Appalachia

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As for the public’s opinion of social workers, who would do that job for that pay? Their very altruism made them suspect. Social workers rarely get to talk without repercussions, and they really wanted people to understand that Coalton culture sometimes eats social programs for lunch. Over and over again, the stories social workers told hit a common theme: parents who were part of the problem rather than the solution. It took a lot of listening to get past the anger and hear the reasons behind the stories the workers wanted to tell. Social workers in the Coalfields vary widely in type and temperament, but if I had to choose one phrase with which to summarize their perspective, it would be “benevolent frustration.”

One of my earliest lessons in listening with discernment during conversations between foster parents and social workers came from asking the latter about things they didn’t deal with directly. (I asked about group homes.) Caseworkers who had been talking nonstop at one hundred words per minute shut down faster than a flooded coal mine. And proved harder to open back up. Finally, it became clear: what dedicated social workers couldn’t change for the better, they wouldn’t talk about. That thing did not exist in their world. Cut off the part you can’t save; close the doors on the energy drain that won’t yield results. Eventually, I learned that this defense mechanism applied equally to government bureaucracy, bad foster parents, and kids who were their own worst enemies.

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