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William Clarke R.. Three Courses and a Dessert
Three Courses and a Dessert
Table of Contents
INDUCTION
FIRST COURSE: WEST COUNTRY CHRONICLES
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INTRODUCTION
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SIR MATHEW ALE
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THE COUNTERPART COUSINS
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CADDY CUDDLE
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THE BRAINTREES
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THE SHAM FIGHT
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THE BACHELOR'S DARLING
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THE LOVES OF HABAKKUK BULLWRINKLE, GENTLEMAN
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SECOND COURSE: THE NEIGHBOURS OF AN OLD IRISH BOY
INTRODUCTION
JIMMY FITZGERALD
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THE NATIVE AND THE ODD FISH
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TIMBERLEG TOE-TRAP
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BAT BOROO
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THE WITCH'S SWITCH
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THE WEED WITNESS
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ME AND MY GHOST-SHIP
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THE NEST EGG
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UNDER THE THUMB
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OUR TOMMY
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THE DENTIST
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THE MUSHROOM
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THE DILLOSK GIRL
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THIRD COURSE: MY COUSIN'S CLIENTS
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INTRODUCTION
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ADAM BURDOCK
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THE MATHEMATICIAN
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THE LITTLE BLACK PORTER
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THE DESSERT
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INTRODUCTION
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THE DEAF POSTILION
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CONJUGATING A VERB
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POSTHUMOUS PRAISE
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THE DOS-A-DOS TETE-A-TETE
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A TOAD IN A HOLE
THE PAIR OF PUMPS
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WANTED A PARTNER
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HANDSOME HANDS
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MISLED BY A NAME
“M.?”
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Отрывок из книги
William Clarke
Comprising Three Sets of Tales, West Country, Irish, and Legal; and a Melange
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“Allow me to tell you then, sir, that there is really good sport in badger-hunting; it is a fine, irregular sort of pastime, unfettered by the systematic rules of the more aristocratic sports. The stag-hunt and the fox-chase, are so shackled with old ordinances and covert-side statutes, that they remind me of one of the classical dramas of the French: a badger-hunt is of the romantic school;—free as air, wild as mountain breezes;—joyous, exhilarating, uncurbed, and natural as one of our Shakspeare's plays. Barring an otter-hunt, (and what's better still, according to Caddy Cuddle's account, who has been in the North Seas, the spearing of a whale,) there are few sports that suit my capacity of enjoyment, so well as badger-bagging.—Just picture to yourself, that you have sent in a keen terrier, no bigger than a stout fitchet, or thereabouts, to ascertain that the badger is not within; that you have cleverly bagged the hole, and stuck the end of the mouth-line in the fist of a patient, but wary and dexterous clod-hopper; (an old, lame, broken-down, one-eyed gamekeeper, is the best creature on earth for such an office;)—and then, what do you do?—Why, zounds! every body takes his own course, with or without dogs, as it may happen; hunting, yelping, hallooing, and beating every brake for half a mile, or more, round, to get scent of the badger. Imagine the moon, 'sweet huntress of yon azure plain,' is up, and beaming with all her brilliancy; the trees beautifully basking in her splendour; her glance streaming through an aperture in an old oak, caused by the fall of a branch, by lightning, or bluff Boreas, and fringing the mallow-leaf with silver; the nightingale, in the brake, fascinating your ear; the glow-worm delighting your eye:—you stand, for a moment, motionless;—the bat whirrs above your head and the owl, unaccustomed to the sight of man, in such deep solitudes, flaps, fearless, so near as to fan your glowing forehead with his wings:—when suddenly you hear a shout—a yell—two or three such exclamations as—'There a' ees!'—'Thic's he!'—'At'un, Juno!'—'Yonder a goath!'—'Hurrah!'—'Vollow un up!'—'Yaw awicks!' and 'Oh! my leg!'—You know by this, that 'the game's a foot;'—you fly to the right or left, as the case may be, skimming over furzy brake, like a bird, and wading through tangled briar, as a pike would, through the deeps of a brook, after a trout that is lame of a fin. You reach the scene of action; the badger is before, half a score of tykes around, and the yokels behind you.—'Hark forward! have at him!' you enthusiastically cry; your spirits are up;—you are buoyant—agile as a roe-buck;—your legs devour space—you—”
“My dear fellow, allow me to conclude,” interrupted Caddy Cuddle, “for your prose Pegasus never can carry you through the hunt at this rate. To be brief, then—according to what I have heard from my never-to-be-sufficiently-lamented friend, Caddy Caddy—the badger, when found, immediately makes for his earth: if he reach it without being picked up and taken, he bolts in at the entrance; the bag receives him; its mouth is drawn close by the string; and thus the animal is taken.—But, odds! while I talk of those delights, which were the theme of our discourse in the much-regretted days of Caddy Caddy, I forget that time is on the wing.—I suppose no one is going my way.”
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