Fragile People: a Hidden Door into the World of Narcissists

Fragile People: a Hidden Door into the World of Narcissists
Автор книги: id книги: 3405273     Оценка: 0.0     Голосов: 0     Отзывы, комментарии: 0 499 руб.     (6,36$) Читать книгу Купить и скачать книгу Электронная книга Жанр: Правообладатель и/или издательство: Эксмо Дата публикации, год издания: 2025 Дата добавления в каталог КнигаЛит: ISBN: 978-5-04-227510-4 Скачать фрагмент в формате   fb2   fb2.zip Возрастное ограничение: 16+ Оглавление Отрывок из книги

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Описание книги

How would you describe a narcissist? As a self-absorbed egoist? A cold, heartless snob? But certainly not as a vulnerable person, right? According to researchers, only about 4% of people exhibit full-blown narcissistic personality pathology. Far more common are covert narcissists. Their healthy sense of self-worth is also broken. But instead of projecting excessive self-confidence, they constantly devalue their own achievements and harshly criticize themselves for even the smallest mistake. The author of this book – psychotherapist and narcissism expert Yulia Pirumova – opens the door to a fragile inner world of narcissists and breaks long-standing stereotypes in which many readers will recognize themselves. Through a unique system of exercises developed in the course of clinical practice, the author helps you to stop comparing yourself to others, let go of relentless self-criticism, understand the roots of distance in relationships and restore your sense of self-respect.

Оглавление

Юлия Пирумова. Fragile People: a Hidden Door into the World of Narcissists

Preface

Introduction

The era of “gods” and fragile self-esteem

Many-faced narcissism

The “inner ear” of self-esteem

Why do we need narcissism?

The narcissism scale

Narcissistic vulnerability

Narcissistic people

Narcissistic ways of treating oneself

Fragile self-esteem and how we adapt to it

“Feeble semblance”

Questionnaire for identifying narcissistic deficiency

A crown as protection against vulnerability

The essence of narcissism to a first approximation

Part 1. How children turn into narcissists

Chapter 1. Myth about Narcissus

Chapter 2. Narcissus's drama

Narcissism is the “trauma of unlove”

Uselessness and emotional deprivation

Psychologically immature parents

Emotional exploitation of a child

Unsafe dependence on adults

“Healing fantasy” of narcissists

Narcissistic hunger

A “hole” in the reflection

Unrealistic demands

Summary. Narcissistic adaptation to childhood conditions

Part 2. Deficient narcissism. What is it like?

Chapter 3. “Puzzles” of deficient narcissism

How does a deficient narcissist live?

Chapter 4. Foundations of deficiency. The feeling of inner emptiness

Narcissistic insatiability

Ideal Self

Inner critic

The feeling of being unworthy

Unstable self-esteem

Self-devaluation

Inability to make efforts

Narcissistic procrastination

Impostor syndrome

Narcissistic depression

Inability to feel pleasure and enjoy life

Cherophobia

Boredom

“Life passes by”

Summary

Chapter 5. Narcissistic traps: how we try to cope with inadequacy but still remain “in the red”

Omnipotence

The belief that “If you claim something, you are to live up to it”

The almighty control

Narcissistic standards

Fantasy about one's exceptionality

Inability to acknowledge one's failure

Struggle with reality

Idealization of adulthood

Idealization

Narcissistic devaluation

Narcissistic isolation

Control over feelings and rationalizing

Devaluing desires and needs

Summary

Chapter 6. Typical feelings of a deficient narcissist

Narcissistic anger

Narcissistic pride

Fear of appearing to be ordinary

Fear of being weak

Attitude to regression

Fear of rejection

Narcissistic envy

Fear of envy (as a projection)

Narcissistic shame

Narcissistic anxiety

Summary

Part 3. How deficient narcissists build relationships

Chapter 7. What we face in relationships. The feeling of one's inappropriateness

Profound alienation from people

Seeking involvement in relationships with people

Dependence on ideal love

Lack of reliance on the experience of satisfying relationships

Distorted views on relationships

Unrealistic expectations in relationships

Fear of close relationships

Narcissistic defenses against close relationships

Dependence on the narcissistic source in relationships

Devaluation of one's need for relationships

Great unconscious need for relationships

Absence of empathy to people in relationships

Lack of self-care in deficient narcissists

“Omnivorousness” paradox

The desire to control relationships

The desire to have strong reactions to one's personality

Inability to be in horizontal relationships

Narcissist-the rescuer, or the “white coat”

Fear of dependence in relationships

Fear of being used

Boredom in relationships

The desire to change one's partner

Feeling humiliated because of the need to seek help and support

Summary

Part 4. What shall we do with all that?

Chapter 8. Little Narcissette at a psychotherapist's appointment

Chapter 9. Helping people with deficient narcissism

Self-compassion/self-pity

Dependence

Grief

Powerlessness

Ordinariness

Summary. Narcissistic crisis

Conclusion. Narcissistic reality

Отрывок из книги

When I started psychotherapy practice, I could not imagine that narcissists would become the main area of my interest. Of course, I knew who they were! Like everyone else, I thought they were egoists whose sole desire was to exploit the others.

I read numerous books telling us: “Beware of narcissists, they are everywhere, and their only dream is to use you. So, arm yourself with the knowledge to deal with their horrible nature. And may the force be with you!”

.....

We treat ourselves mercilessly and ruthlessly, since otherwise, we might slack off and become “wimps”.

We are striving to be normal and pretend that we do not need anyone.

.....

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