Читать книгу Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 10 - 12 - Derek Landy - Страница 52

He was going to kill her. He was going to torture her. He’d make Valkyrie Cain scream and cry and beg. He’d draw it out. Make it last. He was going to enjoy it, too. Killing her would be his most enjoyable murder since the first, all those years ago.

Cadaverous sipped from his glass of water. Thoughts like that made his mouth dry and his heart beat faster.

The others talked. They sat around the table, located in Coldheart’s only conference room, and chatted – Nero and Memphis and Razzia – but Cadaverous stayed quiet. It wasn’t that he couldn’t chat – he could chat with the best of them. He was the master of small talk. He’d had to be, back when he’d been mortal, having to go to all those insufferable social engagements. Book launches for stale academic tomes. Office parties. After-work drinks. He’d been pretending the whole time, of course, hiding his hatred behind a smile or a witty remark. That’s how he’d blended in. That’s how nobody suspected anything – not until the very end.

But these days he just wasn’t in the mood to talk, to chat. Not since Valkyrie Cain had killed Jeremiah.

Skulduggery Pleasant walked in, went right up to Nero. “May I?”

Nero laughed, and the chatter died down. “May you what?”

“Sit.”

Nero indicated around him. “There are two free chairs.”

Pleasant nodded. “And I want your chair. May I?”

Cadaverous watched. Such an obvious alpha-male ploy. If Nero had any sense, he’d call it out for what it was and refuse to budge.

But after a long moment of hesitation Nero got up, and Pleasant sat, leaned back and put his feet up on the table. Nero chose one of the other chairs, blushing impotently.

“Now then,” Pleasant said, “you probably dislike me intensely – I can understand that – but let’s try to move past it as quickly as possible. Who’s in charge here? Anyone? It doesn’t matter. Allow me to put my name forward as leader of this anti-Sanctuary of yours. It’ll save time and prevent a lot of arguments later on. Really, a lot. All those in agreement say aye.”

“Aye!” shouted Razzia.

“Thank you,” said Pleasant.

“No worries,” Razzia said, grinning. “What were we talking about? I wasn’t listening.”

“That barely matters,” Pleasant said, taking off his hat. “A vote from you, a vote from me, and the rest have abstained out of sheer respect. I thank you all. It has been decided.”

“I’d heard you didn’t quit talking,” said Memphis, in that half-slurred, half-drawl way of his. “I just didn’t believe it.”

“Ah-ah, young man,” Pleasant said, wagging his finger, “I hold the Speaking Hat. You may not speak without holding the Speaking Hat. That’s one of the new rules I’m introducing as leader.”

“You ain’t our leader.”

“Again – Memphis, is it? – who holds the hat? Who does? Me, that’s who. Talking privileges are mine. This way we’ll all get a chance to be heard eventually. It’s called being civilised, which is something else I’m introducing.”

Memphis shook his head. “This is ridiculous.”

Cadaverous had to hand it to the skeleton, he had style. He didn’t even take his feet down. He used the air to boost himself up to a standing position on the table, whipping his gun out as he did so, and took two steps before pointing the gun right between Memphis’s eyes. It all took less time than a hiccup.

There was shouting and roaring and consternation – and much laughter from Razzia – but Memphis remained very still, the colour draining from his face.

Finally, everyone else stopped making idiots of themselves, and things quietened down.

“The only thing ridiculous,” Pleasant said softly, “aside from your garish jacket and uneven pompadour, is the blatant disregard for the rules of debate. When I am finished talking, you may retort. Otherwise it ceases to be about the content of our conversation, and becomes little more than a contest in volume. Would you agree?”

Memphis didn’t say anything. Pleasant let go of his hat, and it floated slowly down to the table. Memphis swallowed, and picked it up. “Yes,” he said.

Pleasant put away his gun. He walked back, jumped down and retook his seat, then indicated to Memphis that he should continue.

Memphis cleared his throat. “Not many folks get to pull a gun on me, man. Most who try end up deader than disco. I’m going to kill you for that, just so you know.”

Pleasant nodded.

Memphis cleared his throat and adjusted his position. “What I was saying was that you ain’t our leader. We don’t even trust you. Smoke can do his thing and compel you to obey and all, but I’m sure someone like you, someone who reckons he’s the smartest guy in the room, could find loopholes in his orders. You want a vote? My vote is we take care of business, and kill you now.”

“I agree,” said Cadaverous.

Pleasant flicked his hand, and his hat leaped from Memphis’s hands and whirled across the table, landing in Cadaverous’s lap. It was a good hat. Expertly made, like the black suit he wore. Cadaverous threw it behind him, aware that it didn’t even touch the ground before Pleasant used the air to catch it.

“There are plenty of ways to kill a dead man,” Cadaverous said. “Give me a day. I’ll figure it out.”

“Crush his bones,” said Memphis.

“Dump him on the moon,” said Nero.

Pleasant shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re all finding so hard to grasp about the principle of the Speaking Hat.”

The door opened and Lethe walked in. He stopped when he saw their new addition. “Ah,” he said. “You’re here. Welcome.”

Pleasant plucked his hat from the air. “Thank you.”

“It’s an honour to have you here,” Lethe went on, sitting at the table. “You are a legend, Skulduggery. The things you’ve done, the feats you’ve accomplished … It humbles me. I may have beaten you in single combat, but please know that I am in awe of you. You have my utmost respect.”

“That’s nice of you to say.”

“You know everyone here, I take it? Small talk has been exchanged?”

“To a degree. So do I get to see it?”

“See what, Skulduggery?”

“The little box,” said Pleasant, “with the little heart.”

“You’ll see it when you’ve proven yourself. When we can trust you. You must understand, Skulduggery … we know what you’re feeling right now. You’re confused. You have all these dark thoughts in your head.”

“I’m used to them.”

Lethe laughed. “Maybe you are. Maybe. But not like this. Not … concentrated like this. It can be overwhelming. The urge to destroy just to destroy … it is a powerful urge.”

Pleasant tilted his head. “You think I’ll turn against you.”

“It’s possible,” said Lethe. “These urges can make people do terribly destructive things, not always in our favour. And if that happens we’ll kill you, naturally, but I’m hoping that you’ll decide to join us. All we want is our rightful place as kings and queens of this world. Wouldn’t you love to walk through O’Connell Street or Times Square or Piccadilly Circus without bothering with your false face? Isn’t it time that sorcerers like you and Neoterics like us stopped hiding away from the mortals? Isn’t it time we took up our crowns? Maybe you don’t agree. Maybe you’re happy where you are.”

“I’ve never had a problem with the mortals,” Pleasant said. “One of my best friends was a mortal.”

“So you’re not going to help us?”

“I didn’t say that. Those dark thoughts you mentioned, they’re doing quite a number on my morality, such as it is. There are all kinds of people I suddenly want to kill, mortals included. I’ll help you, because I like your plan and I’m interested in seeing if it’ll work, but I have one condition. More of an unbreakable rule, actually. Valkyrie Cain is mine.”

“Ah,” said Lethe. “Yes, we thought you might bring this up. Valkyrie Cain, unfortunately, is already promised to Cadaverous here.”

“And I’m not letting her go,” Cadaverous said.

Pleasant turned his eye sockets to him, and Cadaverous could see the light reflecting on the inside of his skull. “You blame Valkyrie for your friend’s death.”

“Jeremiah Wallow,” Cadaverous said. “He had a name.”

“And yet, the way Valkyrie tells it, Mr Wallow fell. She didn’t push him. She didn’t kill him.”

“She’s responsible for his death.”

“So is gravity, but you’re not out to kill gravity, are you? Your friend is dead, you’re angry and upset, you want someone to blame. Perfectly understandable, if completely redundant. Your sadly deceased friend’s own clumsy incompetence does not guarantee you the right to Valkyrie’s life. It just doesn’t.”

“I’ve already staked my claim.”

“Calling shotgun does not guarantee you a front seat, Cadaverous. We’re not children here, are we?”

“Skulduggery,” Lethe said, “I’m afraid we have already agreed that Cadaverous kills Valkyrie.”

Pleasant went quiet for a moment, and sat back, steepling his fingers. “I’m trying to decide,” he said.

“Decide what?” Lethe asked.

Pleasant stood, and took out his gun. “Which one of you I kill first.”

“Sit down,” said Smoke, walking into the room, and immediately Pleasant sat. It was a petty joy that leaped into Cadaverous’s heart, but it was a joy, nonetheless.

“How’s it feel,” Nero asked, “to be his puppet?”

“This is an odd sensation,” Pleasant muttered.

Smoke sat at the table. “I control you. You do what I tell you. If I instruct you to dance for us, you’ll dance for us. If I instruct you to only talk in rhyming couplets, that’s what you’ll do. You are mine – you understand that? You have no free will when it comes to me.”

“This is interesting,” Pleasant said. “But I’m afraid it’s completely unacceptable.” In a flash, the gun was pointed straight at Smoke’s head—

—but Pleasant’s finger froze over the trigger.

Smoke sighed. “You think you’re the first person to try that? Seriously? You can’t and won’t hurt me. Put the gun away.”

“But of course,” the skeleton said, holstering the weapon inside his jacket like it was his own idea. Cadaverous found that vaguely annoying. “Where were we?”

“I was about to suggest a compromise,” Lethe said, “regarding this whole killing Valkyrie disagreement.”

Cadaverous leaned forward. “No compromise,” he said. “We had a deal.”

Lethe held up a hand. “You both will refrain from killing her until, at the earliest, the resurrection of Abyssinia. The moment is close, but has yet to arrive, and who knows what will happen before then? If only one of you reaches the moment, you get to kill Miss Cain. If both of you survive until then, you’ll fight for the honour.”

Cadaverous frowned. “In a place of my choosing?”

“You were first to make the claim, so yes.”

Cadaverous smiled. “Deal.”

Pleasant shrugged. “I’m in,” he said, and clapped his hands. “So, what’s the next step?”

“First Wave,” said Lethe. “This is a crucial juncture and they need guidance. They need Parthenios Lilt.”

“He’s being kept in a cell in the High Sanctuary,” Pleasant said. “Do we break him out?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Lethe responded. “We have our man on the inside who can take care of this for us.”

Pleasant tilted his head again. “Who?”

“A man on the inside,” Lethe repeated. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

Pleasant shrugged. “If you have a secret you want to keep, then you keep your secret. Just tell me what you want me to do. How about the Soul Catcher that Melior’s going to need for the resurrection? I happen to know where we could pick one up without too much trouble.”

“Again,” said Lethe, “that is already taken care of. We have one that Destrier is adapting to Doctor Melior’s specifications. Your job, Skulduggery, will be to track down a Neoteric. The good doctor reckons he’ll need the life force of two sacrificial lambs for the ritual to be successful, but I think three. It’s better to have a sacrificial lamb and not need it, than need a sacrificial lamb and not have it. Memphis and Nero, you’ll be going after the first. Smoke and I will go after the second. Skulduggery … you’ll be teaming up with Cadaverous here, and you’ll bring us back the third. Is that OK with you?”

Pleasant spread his arms wide. “I’m part of the team, Lethe. I’ll do whatever I’m told.”

“Wait a second,” Razzia said, frowning. “How come I don’t get to play?”

“Well,” said Lethe, “someone has to stay here and make sure Doctor Melior doesn’t go anywhere and Destrier doesn’t accidentally suck everyone’s souls into a snow globe.”

“You better not be assigning me babysitting duties because of my gender,” Razzia said, getting to her feet slowly. “I may be a very nurturing person by nature, but I will kill every ratbag at this table if you think you can—”

“It’s nothing to do with your gender, Razzia,” Lethe said, hands up in a calming gesture. “And it’s got nothing to do with your nurturing nature. It’s your murderous nature that disqualifies you from this assignment. It’s imperative that each of the sacrificial lambs is brought back alive.”

Razzia paused. “Alive?”

“Yes.”

“Not dead?”

“No.”

She sat back down. “Not dead, not interested.”

“And that’s why you don’t have to go.”

“Sweet.”

Pleasant rubbed his hands together. “I like this,” he said. “The interplay. The camaraderie. It’s almost like what I have with Valkyrie, except much, much less. Cadaverous, I know we’re going to have our differences on this, but I want you all to know, from the bottom of the place where my heart used to be, that I’m really looking forward to killing Valkyrie.” He clapped, once and happily. “This is going to be fun.”