Читать книгу Sweet Surrender, Baby Surprise / The Secretary’s Bossman Bargain: Sweet Surrender, Baby Surprise / The Secretary’s Bossman Bargain - Kate Carlisle - Страница 13

“What?”

He knew he’d caught her off guard, so her shriek shouldn’t have been such a big surprise to Cameron. But it still managed to ring in his ears. He grabbed hold of her hands in a romantic gesture he hoped she’d appreciate. “I want us to get married, Julia. You and Jake will move into my home. We’ll be giving Jake a great life.”

Julia’s eyes turned dark. “Jake has a great life.”

“It’ll be even better if we’re together,” he said with all the patience he could muster.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Absolutely not.”

Not appreciating her tone, he stepped a foot back and folded his arms across his chest. “Are you going to keep me from seeing my son?”

Taken aback, she stared wide-eyed at him. “No, of course not. We can arrange some sort of visitation schedule. You can—”

“I don’t want visitation,” Cameron said. “I want him.”

“That’s not possible,” she cried. “I’m his mother. He’s been with me his entire life and I’m more than capable of raising him on my own. You can’t take him from me.”

“I don’t want to take him from you,” Cameron said quickly, annoyed that this conversation wasn’t going the way he’d planned. Nothing seemed to go according to plan with Julia. “I’m asking you to marry me so we can raise him together.”

She stared at him for a moment then asked, “What planet did you come from and what have you done with Cameron Duke?”

“That’s not funny.”

“You’re right, it’s not one bit funny. I don’t know who you are. Where did you dream up this idea? There’s no way I’m going to live with you.”

“Why not?”

She spluttered in shock, but finally managed to speak in complete sentences. “Because you don’t want me, Cameron. You never look back, remember? What happened to your rules? What changed overnight that you suddenly want me around?”

He swallowed hard and thought fast. “Look, people adjust, Julia. Rules are meant to change with the times.” He was being perfectly reasonable, why couldn’t she understand?

“Well, isn’t that mature of you?” she said, a little too snidely for his taste. “But that still doesn’t mean I’m going to move into your house to play nanny while you go about your business.”

“Nanny?” He frowned. “Who said anything about you being a nanny? “

“Oh, come on, Cameron. I’m not a complete idiot. You want Jake, so you need me there to take care of him.”

“No, that’s not true. I want you, too.”

“Jake and I are perfectly happy in our own home. With our nanny. You can visit anytime.”

“I don’t want to visit, I want to live with my son and his mother. I want you to marry me. Why is that so hard to comprehend?”

“Because you’re using me to get to Jake,” she said, her voice quivering with emotion. “And I won’t be used.”

That’s when it sank in. Julia was afraid. Damn it. Once more, he was being a dolt. She seemed to bring that quality out in him. Leaning back against the concrete balcony wall, Cameron pulled her close and ran his hands slowly along her spine, trying to soothe her. “I swear I’m not using you, sweetheart. I wouldn’t do that. I’m just asking for a chance to live as a family. You, me and Jake.”

She sighed, then looked up at him. “Cameron, you don’t love me.”

His eyes widened before he could stop the reaction. She wanted love? From him? He blew out a breath, knowing he could never give her that. But there were plenty of other things he could give her.

“Julia, I admire you,” he said gently. “I respect you. I like you a helluva lot. I want to be with you. It’s pretty obvious we’re both hot for each other. That’s a major plus, right? I think we could have a great life together. But I … I just don’t do love. I’m sorry.”

She tilted her head and studied him keenly. “Do you love Jake?”

He frowned. Did he love his son? Could he? He thought about it, remembering those moments when he and the little guy had stared into each other’s souls. He already had a bone-deep connection to the boy. Was that love? Did it matter? Cameron didn’t think so and Julia would have to deal with that.

“Jake is my son,” he said. “I’ll protect him with my life.”

Julia nodded without speaking. She’d seen the look of awareness that had passed across Cameron’s face when he’d considered whether he loved Jake or not. Julia knew that look. She’d seen it in her own face when she looked in the mirror while holding Jake. It was the look of parental love. Cameron might not be able to say the words, but she knew he felt them.

She didn’t dare admit that she was tempted by his loveless proposal. What would that make her, besides desperate? Did she really want a family so badly that she would abandon the possibility of love forever?

A while later, she wandered through the rooms of the suite, visiting with the people she’d already begun to wishfully think of as her family. At the same time, she considered Cameron’s words. He liked Julia. Respected her. They were hot for each other. But was all that enough to make them a family? On the other hand, there were probably plenty of other families that had started out with less.

A family was something she’d dreamed of for most of her life. She’d always imagined what fun it would be to have brothers and sisters to play with and talk to. Cameron’s brothers and Trish would fulfill that desire. And with Sally, she would have a mom to share her deepest dreams and secrets with. They could go shopping and have lunch together.

“And we could braid each other’s hair,” she muttered, disgusted with herself. Good grief, was she so needy that she would marry Cameron just to have lunch with his mother?

With a sigh, she walked into the second bedroom just as Trish snapped the last snap on Jake’s jammies.

“We did it,” Trish said, gazing at Adam with justifiable pride.

“You were brilliant,” he said. With one hand, he held Jake securely on the changing table while he reached for Trish with the other and planted a kiss on her mouth.

Julia sighed again. It was such a romantic move.

Trish noticed her then. “Oh, Julia, he was a perfect angel.”

“And he looks relatively undamaged by the whole experience,” Julia quipped. “For that, I thank you.”

“Thank you so much for trusting us with him,” Trish said.

Adam kissed her temple and she beamed at him. They were so clearly in love, it almost hurt to watch them.

Could Cameron ever love her that much? she wondered, then rapidly banished the foolish thought from her mind. Wishing for things that would never come true wasn’t her style. Long ago, she’d trained herself not to wish for too much and to be happy with whatever she had, because things could always change for the worse in a heartbeat.

After Adam and Trish left the room, Julia laid Jake in his crib and rubbed his tummy until he settled.

“Sweet dreams, my darling,” she whispered, and watched him drift off to sleep. He’d always been such a happy baby, and relatively easy to care for. Now Julia wondered if she was robbing her son of a closer relationship with his father by saying no to Cameron’s proposition. Cameron had said he would protect Jake with his life. But was that enough on which to build a marriage? Could she be content, knowing that Jake would have a doting father who protected and cared for him?

As she switched off the light, Julia remembered the other point Cameron had made to sweeten the deal. They were hot for each other.

“So true,” she murmured, and felt a jolt of desire in her lower stomach at the thought of the two of them in bed together. The image was so vivid, she had to stop for a moment, take a deep breath and let it out slowly, before she was able to walk into the living room. Her eyes instantly sought and found Cameron, who watched her with an intensity she’d never experienced from a man before.

Julia’s laid-back facade turned to dust as Cameron’s blazing awareness scorched her from across the room. Oh, yeah, they had heat. The question was how long could they make it last?

Cameron scrunched his pillow and wondered if he would ever sleep again. In keeping with his plan, after their guests had left, he’d led Julia to her bedroom door where he’d kissed her good-night and walked away.

“For the third damn night in a row,” he said. Once again, he lay in bed wide awake, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He was a marine, he’d led warriors into battle and faced the enemy, but walking away from Julia a few hours ago had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

But it was for a good cause, he reasoned. His plan was working. Leave her wanting more. He’d give Julia another few days, but in the end, she would come to see that marriage was the best thing they could do for little Jake.

None of that seemed to matter to his libido, though. He stared at the moonlight streaming in through the window and resigned himself to another sleepless night. All for the good of the plan.

It was impossible for Julia to avoid Cameron in the morning, not when he was sitting at the dining room table, eating toast as he fed Jake his breakfast of rice cereal and mashed bananas. She wondered how he’d picked up the baby’s routine so well in less than three days. Was the babysitter giving him private lessons?

She also wondered if she would ever get a decent night’s sleep again. It was bad enough that Cameron had dropped a bomb when he asked her to marry him. But then after that, when she’d gotten all hot and bothered and tempted by the way he watched her so intently, what did he do? He kissed her chastely and dumped her off at her bedroom door.

She hadn’t slept a wink and it was all his fault.

“Jeez, kiddo,” Cameron muttered, grabbing Jake’s hand before he could smear bananas in his hair. “They go in your mouth, not in your hair.”

Despite her somewhat surly mood, Julia bit back a smile. “Nice save.”

He looked up and grinned and Julia’s heart took a sharp dip. “Thanks. You off to the conference?”

“Yes,” she said. “The babysitter should be here in five minutes.”

“Okay, good,” he said, as he took a cloth and wiped cereal off Jake’s neck. Jake giggled and Cameron gave his nose a light tweak. Jake pounded his tray in delight and Cameron stroked his head affectionately. “Yeah, you’re pretty tough, aren’t you, pal?”

Julia’s first baking demonstration was to begin in less than twenty minutes, but how could she leave when Cameron and Jake were having so much fun bonding, eating, playing? It was all so domestic. So normal and comfortable. So … desirable. She’d wanted this so badly, for so long, and now it was happening. How could she leave? Not just today, but ever? How could she give this up?

The man and the baby laughed in unison and Julia stared, mesmerized. Dear God, was there anything more sexy than the sight of this strong man taking care of her baby?

The tears came from nowhere and Julia tried to sniffle them away. She had to go. Leave. Quickly, before her brain exploded from confusion, from distraction, from yearning. From love. Not to mention lust.

She took another deep breath and let it out, then leaned over and kissed Jake’s cheek. “Bye-bye, sweetie. I love you.”

Without thinking, she kissed Cameron as well, right on the mouth. Realization hit her and she tried to break off the kiss, but he grabbed her arm and kept her close, lengthening the contact until she gasped for air.