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The Fresher

Then

The radio hummed softly, barely audible but just loud enough to quash any fear Abbey might have of being alone.

The street light shone through the window and lit up the room making it impossible to relax. Abbey wasn’t much of a sleeper anyway, which was a shame because she had no social life.

She looked across the room at her roommate Dani’s bed, it was empty and made; the curse of the pretty girl. Dani’s bed was a deep purple and gold with saris draped from the ceiling. Even Danielle’s vibrant posters were framed and hung in a precise manner, not like the dogeared gig posters that hung on Abbey’s side of the room.

Dani swung open the door and flopped on the bed, a grin plastered across her face as she kicked off her heels.

‘I’ve met the man I’m going to marry.’

Abbey sat up. When Abbey had first laid eyes on Danielle she had subconsciously tugged at her sweater, making sure it covered as much of her as possible. It was at that point that Abbey realised her role for the rest of the academic year – the weird one who bunked with the hot girl. What made things even worse was that Dani was just about the nicest person Abbey had ever met, probably because she had no insecurities and no reason to feel threatened by anyone really. They became good friends in no time.

‘His name’s Christian, he’s just such a babe, I just met him over at Bar 42.’

‘Christian Taylor?’ Abbey knew who he was, of course she did, every girl on campus knew who he was.

‘Mhm, he gave me his number, we’re going out this week sometime,’ Danielle squealed.

Christian was the boy at uni, THE boy, the one they all wanted, the trophy, the prize. He was the reason to wear a short skirt and the incentive to wear your hair up all pretty. He got in free to all the cool bars, the waitresses would slide him free drinks and the managers would turn a blind eye, knowing that where he went, the rest followed. Abbey was almost certain that Danielle had positioned herself in such a way that Christian could not help but notice her, she made sure they accidentally bumped into each other. Dani had just climbed up a few rungs on the social-status ladder.

When Abbey awoke the next morning Danielle was in the shower. Abbey looked at the clock, she was late. She jumped out of bed and threw yesterday’s clothes on, still in a pile at her bedside. Abbey was scrambling around the room that she shared with Danielle frantically searching for her left army boot.

‘Hello.’ Abbey spun around to see Christian in the doorway. She froze, and her heart was thumping. She had never seen a man quite as handsome as him before, he was twenty years old and his dark blond curls fell to his shoulders like a frame for his perfect face, he invoked a feeling of sexuality in Abbey that she hadn’t felt before – pure desire. Her mouth watered just looking at him. His friend Jamie hovered behind him nervously, well aware that he paled in comparison, obviously torn between jealousy and hero worship.

‘Hi,’ Abbey finally managed to utter. ‘Dani’s in the shower.’

‘And you must be Abbey.’ He leaned forward and shook her hand, beaming a smile that made her knees weak. Even the people she considered her closest friends struggled to remember Abbey’s name.

At that moment, Dani walked in with her perfectly tanned skin still glistening from the hot shower, her hair wet.

‘Oh, hi, I didn’t expect to see you so soon,’ she giggled. Abbey was unfamiliar with this side of Danielle, she usually liked to dominate a situation but this time she was letting him be the man while she played at the ditsy blonde.

Jamie completely refused to even acknowledge Abbey’s existence. Instead he stared at Danielle as though she were an untouchable goddess. Abbey was all too familiar with the type of boy Jamie was, he was ordinary looking, not ugly, but no one ever looked twice at him and he seemed crippled with insecurity and anger. He wanted the Danielles of this world not the Abbeys and he resented the idea that he was doomed to spend the rest of his life settling for, well, himself. To him the girl you had on your arm was a statement about who you were as a person, it didn’t matter what they thought or did, it mattered what they looked like. He wanted other men to be jealous like he was jealous of Christian. It’s a hard life being the best friend of an Adonis. Abbey knew this all too well, she was the Jamie in her friendship with Dani and she wanted nothing to do with him. She didn’t want to be told that she couldn’t have the Danis and the Christians if that’s what she wanted.

The summer term was upon them and exam fever had hit hard. House parties were everywhere, it was the only way to get through the stress for the people who took their subjects seriously, for the slackers it was a perfect excuse to get wasted, everyone’s a winner. Summer was a time of unity at the University – ‘we are all in this together’ – everyone sympathetic to everyone else’s pressures and self-imposed expectations. It was a short semester and the campus was often deserted during that time. Abbey was dressed ridiculously inappropriately for such a warm day, stonewashed skinny jeans and a white crochet jumper, not a pretty white either, a white that’s gone slightly grey in the wash. Her outfit did nothing for her rosy cheeks or her mousy hair, under all the clothes she had a better-than-average body, but you would never know it to look at her, her attire was more suited to a WI meeting.

‘Abbey, wait up.’ Christian was rushing towards her as she walked away from her room and she became aware of how ridiculous she must have looked, she wished there was a phone booth nearby so she could run in and out like a superhero, so that when he reached her she would be standing there in something pretty, something fashionable or attractive, but it wasn’t going to happen.

‘Hi,’ she muttered, unsure what else to say, I think I love you seemed a little extreme given the circumstances.

‘There’s a party tonight at my place, Dani’s coming, you should come too.’ A personal invitation, she couldn’t say no, she wanted to but she knew she wouldn’t allow herself to, so better just to accept it now.

‘Cool.’ She struggled to get out anything meaningful, one-word sentences were as much as she could muster.

Abbey stared at herself in the mirror, she could be dressed in nothing but a bikini, her presence would still be dwarfed by the supernova that is Danielle. She hated herself for being jealous but just once she wanted to know how it felt to be desired, to be special.

‘Wear this.’ Dani flung a purple dress at Abbey. ‘Trust me, it’s my lucky dress.’ Abbey felt the fine silk between her fingers and wondered how it would feel against her chunky thighs. She was the same dress size as Danielle but there is something about confidence that makes everything fit better. The purple dress was backless and shorter than anything Abbey would usually dare to wear.

‘You don’t think it will make me look like …’

‘Like what?’ Dani looked at her. Abbey was aware she should choose her next words carefully.

‘I don’t know, like I’m trying to be you? Single white female and all that.’

‘Do you honestly give a shit what any of those people think?’ Abbey loved how Dani referred to her friends as ‘those people’, it was part of what made Dani friends with everyone, she knew how to make you feel like you mattered, even if you really didn’t. Abbey first saw Dani as one of those seemingly transparent people who were exactly the same on the inside as the outside, but the more time they spent together the more she realised Dani was a shrewd politician who liked to keep her options open, never upsetting anyone, never taking sides. It was probably a characteristic Abbey should pay attention to as she was always tipping her hand, showing all her cards and leaving herself open to attack.

Abbey slid the dress over her head conscious of the fact that this particular style of dress didn’t allow for a bra, she felt her nipples press against the fabric, aware that with movement and friction she would not only be buoyant and full but leaving very little to the imagination.

‘Jamie is totally going to lose his shit over you.’ Dani beamed.

Jamie. Great. There’s one thing Abbey knew for sure and that was that Jamie would never see her as anything more than a consolation prize. She was trying to ignore the hypocrisy of the fact that she wasn’t interested in Jamie because he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t Christian. Abbey still felt pangs of guilt as his name popped into her head. She wondered if Dani would still lend her the dress if she knew what Abbey was thinking, and she reckoned she would. Dani didn’t worry about anyone stealing her man, least of all Abbey.