Читать книгу Butterflies - Ксана Гильгенберг - Страница 11

In the following three days Lika did not manage neither to see Rita nor to speak to her. Rita kept sending her a message a day saying that she was all right. As for Lika, she could not make herself stop thinking about the friend, Vlad, and Coco.

That day after lunch she decided to digress a little from those tedious thoughts and got back to the book she had started a while ago and had left it out because of the latest events. She made herself comfortable at the table trying to recollect the last passage she had read, but the sound of the income message in Skype distracted her. Imagine her surprise when she saw a message from Vlad. Immediately, the whole world was forced out of her mind. With an unevenly beating heart and fingers trembling with excitement, she answered to his “Hello, Lika!” Then Vlad called and told her about how he had settled in a new place. He also described the city, the river flowing nearby, the sunny weather and some guys he had made friends with. Apparently, he was very encouraged by the new life and the new place. Finally, he asked what was happening in her life. Lika shuddered. What could she tell him? About Rita’s pregnancy? No. Rita had asked her not to tell him about this, and, of course, she would not do it. About Coco? No way. “Undoubtedly, a talking cat could interest him but only if he could hear it himself,” she thought. Vlad would have thought that Lika had gone mad if she had told him about it. As a result, her account of the days spent in his absence turned out to be the most usual and even a bit boring. Anyway, Vlad seemed to be listening attentively to her. Then he inquired about Aunt Ann’s health and asked how Rita was. He wondered why she did not appear on Skype. Lika felt her face blushing, and her ears began to burn – she could not tell him the truth, and she did not know how to lie. Without knowing what to invent, she just dropped the call. She jumped up from her chair, and walked about the room, but to her distress, there was no time to think because the melody of the incoming call sounded almost immediately. The girl took a deep breath and clicked on “answer”. Vlad apologized for the quality of the connection; probably, he could not imagine that Lika herself interrupted the call, and then he apologized again, but this time for not being able to continue the conversation because he had to go. They said goodbye to each other promising to keep in touch. When his face had disappeared form the screen, Lika sighed with relief – this time it came to nothing.

Why does it all happen so in her life? Why can’t there be joy without pain? She was so happy to see the beloved person, but the happiness was shadowed by her inability to be fully sincere with him.

“Pain and joy always join hands;” Coco told her then, “that’s normal. You can’t only breathe in; you need to breathe out otherwise you’ll die. A heart is meant to shrink after it dilates – life is possible if only these processes go one after another in harmony.”

During those days, Lika and Coco really bonded. For two days the weather had been nasty, but as soon as the sun showed its face in the skies, Aunt Ann went to the summer cottage to visit her friend and Lika spent hours chatting with Coco. She did not notice how strongly she became attached to the cat, and their conversations started to influence her thinking, and, perhaps, her life in its right. Lika was impressed by Coco’s original thinking, her approach to life, in some ways the cat seemed to be wise, and the girl was curious to find out her opinion on any matter. Sometimes they argued long because Lika strongly disagreed with Coco’s opinions, but in somewhat magical way the cat always managed to bring convincing arguments and change the opinion of her mistress.

“The day after tomorrow Rita’s parents leaving for Turkey,” Lika told the cat after having read a message from the friend.

“Well,” answered the cat “it’s all coming to an end.”

“I haven’t managed to influence her decision,” Lika sighed, “If only you could talk to her…”

“Me? No! It’s out of the question! Do you want her to go mad? Just fancy! She’s in such a… poor mental condition and a cat’s talking to her!”

“Right,” Lika drawled, “I haven’t thought about it.”

Coco was silent and Lika got absorbed in thought. The night before she had googled about abortions. The thing that amazed her most was statistical data. According to WHO fifty six million of induced abortion occur each year in the world. “Fifty six million a year! Fifty six million of discontinued lives! Fifty six million of unrealized opportunities! Fifty six million of those who are not given a single chance! The worst thing is that it happens from year to year. Thereafter, the modern human race is considered to be sensible and humane. How is it possible that the mankind kill themselves, rob their own chances and opportunities but hopes to have comfortable future? Just imagine how many people like Einstein, Lomonosov, Pushkin, Charlie Chaplin, Mother Teresa, Salvador Dali, and Mahatma Gandhi and even like Jesus Christ could be born!”

“And what about those who could be like Judas, king Herod, Mao Zedong, Hitler or Stalin?” Coco interfered in Lika’s thoughts.

“But there were much more creators than destroyers,” Lika disagreed.

“Not as much as you tend to think. Just think: fifty-six million abortions a year. They are not done by creators. Creators don’t do abortions – they are meant to create not to destroy, they are here to support life, not to ruin it, otherwise, they wouldn’t be called creators.”

“You must be right and it is sad. Do you know which is the most difficult thing about it for my understanding?”

“I guess I know.”

“Twelve percent of all abortions are done due to medical reasons, twenty-three percent – for social, twenty-five percent are done to save a woman’s life and forty percent are performed due to personal desire of women. That is, forty women out of a hundred have an abortion just because they don’t want a child. But a desire is such a changeable thing that it may cause you want something today and don’t want it tomorrow, and then want it again the day after tomorrow. How can you be guided only by a desire? There must be something more you should take into account… responsibility, morality, love…”

“There must be,” Coco grinned, “What if there is nothing? How can you use something that you don’t merely have? So they have nothing to do but to be guided by what they have…”

“Why don’t they have these?”

“You know, lots of people will be asking this question in the future, and, probably, they will find the answer. In my day, the second half of the twentieth and the beginning of the twenty-first centuries will be considered to be the most immoral period of all times.”

“Is it possible that the things are worse now than ever?” Lika asked sadly.

“Firstly, it’s all become too pervasive,” Coco began to explain, “the Earth’s tainted by the virus of immorality, and almost everyone is infected to some extent. Secondly, the level of consciousness has grown… or at least, it’s meant to have grown by now. And if ancient people who had primitive mind were pardoned for their blunders, will the same end well for the modern society?”

“I don’t think it will.”

“Right. The third millennium will go in search of the answers to the questions created by the present time. The most urgent will be the human reproduction.”

Lika raised her eyebrows.

“Don’t be surprised, deary, in future the problem of infertility will take the first prize. Anyway, this won’t happen immediately. The modern people are so self-confident that they won’t begin to raise the alarm, believing that they have an ace in the hole in the form of cloning. And only after several decades of unsuccessful experiments, after a great natural decline in the world’s population, serious search for answers will begin.”

“Will they find the answers?”

“They will.”

“So there won’t be any abortions in future?”

“Right.”

“So what’s the answer?” Lika exclaimed, “If we knew the answer, we could change the situation right now!”

“I doubt it,” Coco sighed. “I hope to change the fate route for a single person at least, but you want to change the fate of the whole society. That’s too much.”

“Can’t a change in the fate of one human affect the fate of the whole mankind?”

“If it were that simple, people today would be as advanced as people of my time.”

Lika still did not agree with Coco’s opinion and insisted that the cat told her all about it. Coco was adamant, arguing that the present level of human consciousness was not high enough for this information; that it would not be perceived, or it would be misunderstood.

“It’s like trying to explain to a three-year-old child why Anna Karenina rushed under the train,” the cat concluded her explanations.

“She did it because she didn’t want to live.”

“So try and explain what a life means and how one could not want to live it to a small child who has no idea of death.”

Lika sighed; she had no choice but to admit that Coco was right.

Next evening Rita called Lika to ask her to go to the hospital with her. Lika agreed. Besides, Aunt Ann was still staying at her friend’s, and Lika did not need to come up with any excuses for her.

In the hospital it all went not as easy as Rita had expected. She thought that she would be immediately aborted, and in a couple of hours she would be back home. Instead, first she was sent to one doctor, then to another one, and then she was asked to have various tests and ultrasound examination done. Rita was irritated that everything was so prolonged. Incredibly skinny, nervous, and jerky, she was only a pitiful shadow of that Rita that Lika knew and loved so much. Lika looked at her friend and did not recognize her. And yet, she continued to treat her with care and tenderness, ascribing Rita’s behaviour to the circumstances. She did her best to support the exhausted friend; she calmed her down and tried to smooth the edges when Rita suddenly became rude to the laboratory assistant, who took her blood for analysis.

The expectation of the analyses results seemed tiring, but the results themselves became a real challenge. When the friends came back to the hospital again, Yelena Mikhailovna, a doctor, aged fifty, with a pleasant and kind face, allowed Lika to enter into the study with Rita. She was very friendly and spoke in a sweet, melodious voice, very calmly and slowly, as though carefully choosing words. She wanted both girls to understand what she was about to convey to them. She said that the results of the tests did not allow Rita to have an abortion. First, it turned out that Rita had a negative Rh factor, and subsequently, she was more likely to remain sterile after an abortion, and she, Yelena Mikhailovna, could not allow such a beautiful and good girl to suffer all her life because of an error committed with the support of soulless doctors, to whom she did not relate. Secondly, Rita had salpingitis – inflammation of the fallopian tubes. And it had to be cured in the first place otherwise in future its consequences could lead to difficulties with childbearing. Then Yelena Mikhailovna prescribed various pills. She explained the purpose of each prescription in detail. At first she explained everything to Rita, but as soon as the girl realized that in the next few days she would not be aborted, she began to cry quietly, so the doctor switched to Lika who listened to her carefully not to miss anything Important. At the end, the doctor recommended consulting a psychologist. When Rita left the office, Yelena Mikhailovna made Lika stay and advised her to tell Rita’s parents about the problem, even if Rita herself was against it.

“But it’ll be a betrayal,” Lika pronounced quietly, looking the doctor in the eye.

“It may seem to be a betrayal now, but later she’ll thank you for it,” The doctor explained in the same low voice.

On their way back home Rita was silent just sighing from time to time. Lika did not manage to find more words of support for the friend, so she held her tongue. But when they were passing by the chemist’s, Lika offered to buy some medicine that the doctor had prescribed, whereat Rita declared she had not got any money for the pills.

“Sergei’s given you money, hasn’t he?” Lika wondered.

“He’s given me money, but it’s not for the medicines,” Rita answered angrily. “If I spend it now, I won’t have any for…” she did not want to say the word, “what he’s given it to me.”

“Rita, medicine is more important now!” Lika exclaimed. “Look at yourself. You’re ill! You need treatment! You need to buy at least some pills for nausea, so that you could normally eat.”

“I can’t spend it,” Rita said firmly.

Lika was so indignant at Rita’s answer that she could not find any words of objection. It was difficult for her to understand Rita’s behavior. Why can’t she see the obvious thing? Her health is more important than that money. If it comes to the pinch, she could explain the situation to Sergei and ask more money. Besides, parents must have left her some money. In her own defense, Rita declared she would never speak to Sergei again and as for the parents, they had left money enough just for food, so she could not go to the night clubs while they were away.

“Okay, I’ve got a little money. I don’t need it now,” said Lika, “Besides, Dad promised to send me some by September.

“Oh, don’t, Lika,” Rita objected.

“That’s flat. I can’t see you turning into a skeleton.”

Rita cried and hugged the friend.

“Thank you, Lika,” she whispered.

Lika took the prescriptions from Rita and promised to bring her the medicines in the afternoon. Having taken all the money she had from the box in her room, without delay, she went to the chemist’s. There were two of them nearby. She had to go to both, because the first one did not have one of the medicines. In fact, it was not even a medicine but vitamins. Lika was pleased to see them in the next pharmacy, but it appeared she did not have enough money to buy them. “I’ll have to borrow money and return for them tomorrow,” she decided for herself and headed for Rita.