Читать книгу A Knight for Nurse Hart - Laura Iding - Страница 8

DEAR God, what if she was pregnant?

No, she couldn’t be. There was just no way she could handle this right now. Especially considering the circumstances under which she might have conceived. She shied away from the dark memories.

She didn’t have time to fall apart. Not when there was a serious trauma on the way. Car versus train, and the train always won in that contest. She took several deep breaths, pulling herself together with an effort.

She couldn’t think about this right now, she just couldn’t. It was possible she had flu, nothing more. She had to stop jumping to conclusions. She’d been through a lot of stress lately. Far more stress than the average person had to deal with. There were plenty of reasons for her period to be late. And it wasn’t really late. She could get her period any day now.

But the nagging fear wouldn’t leave her alone.

She used the facilities and then splashed cold water on her face in a vain attempt to bring some color back to her cheeks. She stopped in the staff lounge to rummage for some crackers to nibble on as she made her way back to the trauma bay.

The pager at her waist beeped. She glanced at the display. Thirty-five-year-old white male with multiple crushing injuries to torso and lower extremities. Intubated in the field, transfusing four units of O negative blood. ETA five minutes.

Five minutes. She took another sip of white soda and finished the cracker. She couldn’t decide if she should be upset or relieved when the cracker and white soda combination helped settle her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb demanded when she entered the trauma bay a few moments later. “You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks so much,” she said sarcastically. “I really needed to hear that.”

“I’m sorry, but I wanted to make sure that you’re okay to work,” Caleb amended. “The trauma surgeon has requested a hot unload. We need to get up to the helipad, they’re landing in two minutes.”

“I’m okay to work,” she repeated firmly, determined to prove it by not falling apart as she had last night. Every day was better than the last one—hadn’t her counselor stressed the importance of moving forward? She was living proof the strategy worked. “Let’s go.”

She and Caleb took the trauma elevators, located in the back of the trauma bay, up to the helipad on the roof of the hospital. At first the confines of the elevator bothered her, but she inhaled the heady scent of Caleb’s aftershave, which pushed the bad memories away and reminded her of happier times. When they reached the helipad, they found the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, was already standing there, waiting. Lifting her hand to shield her eyes against the glare of the sun, Raine watched as the air-rescue chopper approached. The noise of the aircraft made it impossible to speak.

When the helicopter landed, they waited until they saw the signal from the pilot to approach, ducking well below the blades. The Lifeline transport team, consisting of a physician and a nurse, helped lift the patient out of the back hatch of the chopper.

“He’s in bad shape, losing blood fast,” the Lifeline physician grimly informed them. “In my opinion, you need to take him directly to the OR.”

“Sounds like a plan. We can finish resuscitating him there,” Dr. Sutton agreed. “Let’s go.”

In her year of working Trauma, she’d only transported a handful of patients directly to the OR. They all squeezed into the trauma elevator around the patient, Greg Hanson. She kept her gaze on the portable monitor, trying to ignore the close confines of the elevator as they rode back down to the trauma OR suite located on the second floor, directly above the ED.

The elevators opened into the main hallway of the OR. The handed the gurney over to the OR staff who were waiting, taking precious moments to don sterile garb before following the patient into the room.

“Caleb, I need a central line in this guy—he needs at least four more units of O neg blood,” Sutton said.

They fell into a trauma resuscitation rhythm, only this time the trauma surgeon had taken the lead instead of Caleb. As Eric Sutton was assessing the extent of the patient’s crushing leg wounds, she and Caleb worked together to get Greg Hanson’s blood pressure up to a reasonable level.

She didn’t know the circumstances about why Greg Hanson’s car had been on the railroad tracks and as she hung four more units of blood on the rapid infusor, she found herself hoping this hadn’t been a suicide attempt.

Being in close proximity to Caleb put all her senses on alert. But when his shoulders brushed against hers, she didn’t flinch. She tried to see that as a sign she was healing.

“Here,” she said, handing him the end of the rapid infuser tubing once he’d gotten the central line placed. “Connect this so I can get the blood started.”

Caleb took the tubing from her hands, his fingers warm against hers. Eric and the OR nurse were prepping the patient’s legs to begin surgery and the anesthesiologist was already putting the patient to sleep, but for a fraction of a second their gazes clung, as if they were all alone in the room.

“Great. All set,” Caleb said, breaking the nearly tangible connection. “Start the blood.”

She turned on the rapid infuser, rechecking the lines to make sure everything was properly connected. She took four more units of blood, confirmed the numbers matched, and then set them aside to be hung as soon as the other four had been transfused into their patient. She could see by the amount of blood already filling the large suction canisters that he was going to need more.

“Draw a full set of labs, Raine,” Caleb told her.

She did as he asked, handing them over to the anesthesia tech, who ran them to the stat lab. She began hanging the new units of blood when the current bags were dry.

“I think we have things under control here,” the anesthesiologist informed them a few minutes later. Taking a peek over the sterile drape, she could see Dr. Sutton was already in the process of repairing a torn femoral artery.

She was loath to leave, feeling as if there was still more they could do. But now that the anesthesiologist had put the patient to sleep, he’d taken over monitoring the rapid infuser, along with the anesthesia tech.

They really weren’t needed here any longer.

Caleb put a hand on her arm, and she glanced up at him. The warmth in his gaze made it seem as if the last four weeks of being apart hadn’t happened. “Come on, we need to get back down to the trauma bay.”

“All right,” she agreed, following him out of the OR suite. Outside the room, they stripped off the sterile garb covering their scrubs.

“Good work, Raine,” Caleb told her, as they headed down to the trauma bay.

“Thanks. You too,” she murmured, sending him a sideways glance. From the first time she’d met Caleb, there had been an undeniable spark between them. An awareness that had only intensified as they’d worked together.

His kisses had made her head spin. There was so much about him that she’d admired. And a few qualities she didn’t.

Working together just now to save Greg Hanson’s life had only reinforced how in sync they were. They made a great team.

Professional team, not a personal one, she reminded herself.

The nauseous feeling returned and she glanced away, feeling hopelessly desperate.

Impossible to go back and change the mistakes and subsequent events of the past, no matter how much she wished she could.

Caleb couldn’t seem to keep his gaze off Raine. The adrenalin rush that came from helping to save a patient’s life seemed to make everything around him stand out in sharp definition. Especially her. Raine’s dark red hair, her pale skin, her bright blue eyes had beckoned to him from the moment they’d met.

She was so beautiful. His fingers itched to stroke her skin. Memories of how sweetly she’d responded to his kisses flooded his mind. Along with a stab of regret. If only he’d have handled things differently, they might have been able to make their relationship work.

His fault. She’d pushed him away, but it was all his fault. Because he’d jumped to conclusions.

Raine had tried to talk to him, but he hadn’t been very receptive. And then Jake had come to apologize. Confessing that he’d had too much to drink and had made a pass at Raine.

So he’d called her back, prepared to apologize, but she’d refused to take his calls.

He wished, more than anything, that she’d talk to him. Allow him to clear things up between them. But instead she’d gone to work in the minor care area, located at the opposite end of the ED from the trauma bay.

He and Raine made a great team on a professional level. He shouldn’t dwell on the fact they couldn’t seem to make the same connection on a personal one.

“Where’s my brother? Greg Hanson?” a frantic voice asked, as they walked past the ED patient waiting area.

Caleb stopped to address the young man. “He’s in surgery. We can let the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, know you’re here waiting for him.”

“Surgery?” The man’s expression turned hopeful. “So he’s going to make it?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s a little too early to say for sure, although I think he has a good fighting chance,” Caleb told him. He glanced at Raine, who gave a nod of encouragement.

“His vital signs were stabilizing when we left,” she added.

“Good, that’s good.” The young man sighed. “Greg’s wife and baby are being examined to make sure they didn’t sustain any injuries. He risked his life to save them. His wife, Lora, panicked when her van got stuck on the railroad tracks. She didn’t want to leave because the baby was in the back seat. He pulled her out of the car first, and then yanked the baby out just as the train hit.”

He heard Raine’s soft gasp. “Dear heavens,” she murmured.

Caleb grimly agreed. The guy was a hero, and he could only hope the poor guy didn’t suffer irreparable damage to his legs as a result of his actions. “Are his wife and baby both here?”

“The baby’s at Children’s Memorial, my wife is over there with their daughter now. Lora’s here, the doctor is seeing her now. As soon as they’re medically cleared, we’ll all be here waiting to hear about Greg’s condition.”

“I’ll let the trauma surgeon know,” Caleb promised.

“Thank you,” the young man said gratefully.

He and Raine returned to the trauma bay. He made the call up to the OR, leaving a message with the OR circulating nurse about Greg’s family. She passed the word on to Eric Sutton, who reassured them he’d come to the waiting room to talk to the family as soon as he was finished.

Satisfied, he hung up the phone. There was a lull in the action. Trauma was either busy or slow, and he found himself looking once again for Raine.

They needed to talk. He just couldn’t let her go without a fight. Maybe it was crazy, but the awareness still shimmering between them made him believe in second chances.

He found her in the staff lounge, sipping a soda. She looked surprised to see him.

“I was surprised to see you earlier today. You never mentioned working at the animal shelter while we were going out,” he said, being careful to sound casual and not accusatory.

She met his gaze briefly, before glancing away. “No, I didn’t. I’ve only been volunteering at the animal shelter for the past month or so.”

The past month. Since their break-up. For some reason, the timing bothered him.

“Your dad is a sweetheart,” she continued, staring down into the depths of her soft drink. “He’s a great vet, really wonderful with animals. Everyone at the shelter loves him.”

Strange, Raine had never struck him as being an animal lover, although now that he knew she was, he wondered what else he hadn’t known about her.

And why did it matter now?

“Yeah, my dad has quite the female fan club,” he said dryly. “Just ask any of his ex-wives.”

She frowned at him and he immediately felt guilty for the lame joke.

“My dad is a great guy,” he amended. “He does have a special talent for working with animals.”

Raine nodded thoughtfully. And then she suddenly jumped to her feet. “Look, Caleb, I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us on a personal level. But at least we know we can work together, right? We helped save Greg’s life. Surely that counts for something.”

Her words gave him the opportunity he needed.

“Raine, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you of seeing Jake behind my back.”

She stared at him with wide blue eyes. “Why were you so ready to believe the worst?” she asked in a low voice.

He swallowed hard, knowing she deserved the truth. “I had a bad experience with being cheated on in the past,” he finally admitted. “I walked in and found my fiancée in bed with another man.”

“I see.” She frowned and broke away from his gaze.

Did she? He doubted it. “Look, Raine, I know now that I overreacted. Jake explained everything.”

She brought her gaze, full of reproach, up to his. “So did I, remember? The next day, when I called you?”

He didn’t know what to say to that, because what she said was the truth. She had tried to explain, but he hadn’t believed her.

“You listened to Jake, but you didn’t listen to me,” Raine murmured, her blue eyes shadowed with pain. “I guess that sums everything up right there.”

Panic gripped him by the throat. “Raine, please. Give me another chance.”

She sighed and rubbed her temples. “It’s too late, Caleb. There were a lot of other signs that you didn’t trust me, but I tried to ignore them. The way you kept asking me where I was going and who I was going to be with. The night with Jake only solidified what I already knew.”

“I learned my lesson,” he quickly protested. “I promise, this time I’ll trust you.”

But she was already shaking her head. “It’s not that easy, Caleb. Trust comes from within. You have to believe with your whole heart.”

His whole heart? Her words nagged at him. Because he cared about Raine a lot. But had he loved her? He’d thought things were heading in that direction, but now he wasn’t so sure.

Those feelings of intense betrayal, when he’d seen her with Jake, had haunted him. Had made him think the worst about her.

He remembered how Raine had tried to explain how thrilled and relieved she’d been to be away from the overbearing scrutiny of her three older brothers. At first she’d teasingly accused him of being just like them.

But then she’d become more resentful.

And he’d accused her of cheating on him.

No wonder she’d wanted a break.

Still, he wanted another chance. Even though there was something different about her. A shadow in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. The Raine he’d worked with tonight didn’t seem to be the same person she’d been a month earlier.

Because of him?

Caleb’s stomach twisted with regret. He hadn’t told her about his mother abandoning him and his father, taking off to follow her dream of being a dancer. Or the string of stepmothers and almost stepmothers. Obviously, he should have.

“Raine, I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve another chance, but—” He stopped when their pagers went off simultaneously.