Читать книгу Six Australian Heroes - Margaret Way - Страница 28

‘YOUR family’s not that bad, Laura,’ were Ryan’s first words as they drove away from the house.

Laura sighed. ‘They were greatly improved this weekend,’ she admitted. ‘But that was because of your influence. You had Gran eating out of your hand over lunch. What on earth did you say to her during that drive? She seemed much brighter than yesterday.’

‘I hardly said a word; she did most of the talking. Told me where to drive. I just followed orders. She showed me the village and the church, the one near the Hunter Valley gardens. By the way, she said to tell you that that was where she wanted her funeral service to be held.’

‘Oh, for pity’s sake!’

‘She wasn’t being maudlin, Laura. Just practical.’

‘But she won’t die now. Not for ages. What else did she say? She didn’t drop any hints about our getting engaged, did she?’

‘Not directly. Though she did point out that they use that church for a lot weddings as well.’

‘And what did you say to that?’

‘Nothing, that I recall.’

‘You must have said something to make her look so pleased with you.’

‘I did promise to come to her eightieth-birthday party in November.’

‘Oh no. Do you think that was a good idea?’

‘I don’t see why not.’

‘Well, I mean, we might not last that long.’ Laura’s conversation with Alison had made her determined not to get any silly female hopes up where Ryan was concerned.

His sharp sideways glance startled her. ‘My girlfriends usually last more than two months, Miss Cynical.’

Laura tried to remain looking cool but it was difficult when her heart had just turned over with a ridiculous burst of happiness. ‘You mean you want to make our relationship a public one?’

Now he looked quite annoyed. ‘Well, of course I do! What had you been envisaging? That I would keep you as some dirty little secret? Why on earth would I do that?’

Laura knew she couldn’t tell him the truth—that she’d been imagining just that. ‘I guess because I’m not the kind of gorgeous, glamorous female that you usually date,’ she said instead.

‘Good God, Laura, did you get a look at yourself last night? You are just as gorgeous and glamorous-looking as any of my previous girlfriends.’

‘But I don’t usually look like that on a day-to-day basis, as you well know.’

‘There’s no reason why you can’t. All you have to do is go shopping for some more new clothes and wear a bit of make-up occasionally.’

‘People at work will wonder what’s happened to me.’

‘So? Do you honestly care what they think?’

‘Yes, I do,’ she admitted. The end result of such a radical makeover was slowly sinking in. She didn’t want her colleagues laughing at her behind her back. She would look a complete fool if she went in there all glammed up and told them Ryan could no longer be her client because she was dating him. They all knew what he was like. The women there had often made caustic remarks about his being a serial ladykiller.

‘No, Ryan,’ she said firmly, surprising herself.

He slanted her a startled glance. ‘No what?’

‘No, I don’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe and, no, I don’t want to be your girlfriend.’

The sudden silence inside the car was electric with unspoken tension. She saw his knuckles go white as he gripped the steering wheel; saw his shoulders rise.

‘You don’t mean that,’ he said at last, his tone one of sheer disbelief.

‘But I do.’

‘You don’t want to sleep with me any more?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

His head whipped round, shock written all over his face. Laura was pretty shocked herself—at herself, for voicing out loud what had suddenly entered her head. That it was he she wanted to keep as her dirty little secret, not the other way round.

When his car drifted dangerously close to the lane next to them—and the truck which was rumbling along at high speed—Ryan quickly returned his attention to his driving, swearing volubly as he righted the car, slowing down appreciably before he spoke again.

‘You can’t be seriously suggesting what I think you’re suggesting,’ he bit out, obviously not happy with being cast in the role of her secret lover.

Now that the initial shock of her suggestion had worn off, Laura found herself quite taken with the idea. How better to protect herself from future hurt and humiliation than by keeping their affair strictly sexual and, yes, totally secret? Not to mention brief. No one knew better than Laura that time and sustained intimacy—even that of a strictly sexual nature—would ultimately be her undoing. A week or two should be long enough to burn out a good degree of the lust that was still plaguing her, she decided. Long enough too to satisfy her curiosity over all those wildly erotic things Ryan claimed he could show her.

‘It would be the best solution all round,’ she said, feeling strangely exhilarated at having taken control of her destiny. ‘You’re a great lover, Ryan. Possibly the best I’ll ever have in my lifetime. Which is why I want to sample some more of your incredible talent in the bedroom.

‘But we both know you won’t ever give me what I really want—which is a husband and a family. Added to that is the fact that I’m not getting any younger. Frankly, becoming your girlfriend, even for a few months, is a waste of my valuable time.

‘The truth is I just want to have some more sex with you, but not for too long. A couple of weeks should do the trick. I appreciate my somewhat radical proposal might be a blow to your ego, but think of the plus side—you won’t have to take me out anywhere or buy me expensive dinners. You won’t have to meet my friends. All you have to do is—’

‘Don’t you dare use that word!’ Ryan broke in savagely.

Laura found his outrage extremely hypocritical, something which he said he despised. ‘I was only going to say shag,’ she invented. She’d actually been going to say ‘make love to me’ in a momentary lack of concentration.

‘I hate that word too.’

‘Lord, but aren’t we the sensitive one all of a sudden? And this from a man who had no qualms pointing out to me that all he was good for was sex. What would you prefer to call it then? Bonk? Screw?’

‘I would prefer that you agreed to become my girlfriend for real!’ he snapped.

Laura’s back teeth clenched together hard in her jaw, as the temptation to say yes was almost overwhelming.

‘Sorry,’ she bit out. ‘No can do.’

‘Sorry?’ he retorted, throwing her a savage glance. ‘I don’t think you’re sorry at all.’

‘And I think you should keep your eyes on the road,’ she said when the car drifted once again.

He swore, using the four-letter word he hadn’t wanted her to say. He didn’t apologise, however. Instead, he fell silent and sped up, the car eating up the miles as only a powerful sports car could. Laura fell stubbornly silent too, determined not to weaken in her resolve to retain control of her life and this affair. They’d crossed the Hawkesbury River Bridge and were drawing near the outer suburbs of Sydney before Ryan spoke again.

‘Right,’ he said abruptly. ‘Now that I’ve calmed down, this is the way I see the situation. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that all I want from you is sex. I like you, Laura. Like your company and your conversation. I would enjoy taking you places and buying you expensive dinners. I would especially enjoy seeing you throw off that ridiculously tough façade you’ve been hiding behind and become the warm, beautiful, sexy, sophisticated woman which I know you could be.

‘As for my wasting your valuable time, I don’t believe any time you spend with me would be a waste. Life should not always be lived for the future, but sometimes for the here and now.’

He paused for a long moment, perhaps waiting for his quite seductive argument to work its magic on her. But Laura wasn’t at all convinced. She did not believe in that live-for-the-mo-ment rubbish. Unless fate stepped in with an unfortunately terminal accident or disease, the future inevitably arrived, during which you had to live with what you’d done in the past. It was all right for him; he didn’t fall in love. But she did! And she wasn’t going to. Not this time!

‘I see,’ he said with a rueful glance at her unmoved face. ‘Obviously what I believe is irrelevant. Look, I’m not in the business of trying to change a woman’s mind. But neither am I going to agree to such a ridiculous scheme. At the same time, I still want you, Laura—with a rather irrational desire, I am discovering. So I will stay with you tonight and endeavour to give you lots of the only thing you want from me. But, come tomorrow morning, that will be that. Our ways will part, never to be crossed again. That’s my counter proposal. If you don’t agree, then I’m afraid it will be quits today at your door.’

Laura sucked in sharply, her emotions in immediate disarray. So much for her façade of cool control!

Fury that he’d accused her of callously using him mingled with panic at the possibility that she would never be with him again. Which would be the case if she didn’t agree to his ‘counter proposal’. But how could she agree now? He’d already made her sound like some sex-crazed fool who’d thrown away any chance of a real relationship in exchange for a fortnight’s sex. To agree to just one night of the same seemed so much worse.

She wasn’t that desperate, was she?

‘I’m sorry you think so badly of me,’ she said, her voice sounding calm despite a trembling starting deep inside. ‘I was just trying to be honest with you with my proposal, and not hypocritical. I don’t think you can blame me for suggesting a sex-only affair when you yourself said you couldn’t offer me any form of commitment. But I can see now that such an arrangement won’t work for me, even for one more night. It is far better that we call it quits today, then you can move on the way you say you always do, and so will I. Hopefully, the next time I find a man I fancy, he’ll want more than a temporary relationship.’

Ryan clenched his teeth down hard in his jaw as he listened to her quite stunning rejection of his proposal. And there he’d been, thinking she would not dare knock him back, not when she’d virtually admitted she was mad for him. He’d imagined that he’d backed her into a corner where he’d be the one in control and she would come begging for more. Which was what he wanted—more of Laura, naked and willing, in his arms. But on his terms, not hers. A man did have his pride.

Unfortunately, pride did have its downside. He was the one backed into a corner now. And there’d be no begging from his corner.

‘Fine,’ he bit out. ‘We’ll call it quits today.’

It was like a physical blow to Laura. She struggled not to cry out, then not to cry. Oh God, what had she done? Suddenly even one night with him was better than this … this emptiness.

‘I will leave it up to you to arrange for another lawyer to be sent to me every Friday afternoon,’ he went on, his voice sounding bitter. ‘I don’t care what excuse you give.’

‘All right,’ she said, her own voice sounding bleak.

‘Now, if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk any more.’ And he turned on the radio, at the same time pressing whatever button it took for the roof automatically to go back into place.

Laura’s heart sank. The roof closing was like a sign that everything was over. They were over.

She turned her face away towards the passenger window so Ryan couldn’t see the tears filling her eyes.