Читать книгу In Bed with Her Ex - Нина Харрингтон - Страница 11

LIFE with Jake had been a nightmare. He’d set his heart on marrying her and pestered her morning, noon and night. She’d refused, clinging to the hope that Marcel would come looking for her. Even after the agony of their last meeting she thought it might happen. He would suffer, lying in the darkness for long, sleepless nights, and during those nights the memories would come back to him. He would relive the joy of their youthful love, and at last he would realise that such love could never end in the way that theirs had seemed to. Then he would search for her, rescue her, and they would be together again.

But it hadn’t happened. Days had become weeks, weeks passed into months and the silence stretched ahead endlessly. At last she’d faced the truth. Marcel hated her. For him she no longer existed. There would be no reunion, no hope of future happiness.

In this state of despair all energy had seemed to leave her. She no longer had the vigour to fight, and when Jake had marched in one day, seized her hand and slid a magnificent engagement ring onto it, she simply stared and left it there.

After that he was shrewd enough to move fast, arranging the wedding for the soonest possible date and never letting her out of his sight. In only one matter did she find the strength to oppose him, declaring that she would not be married in church. It must be a civil ceremony only. She refused to insult any religious establishment with this mockery of a wedding. Jake didn’t care. As long as he claimed her it didn’t matter how.

The ring he gave her was a spectacular creation of diamonds and sapphires, clearly designed to be a trophy. It was Jake’s proof that he owned her.

The three years of her marriage were strange and haunted. He swore a thousand times that he was madly in love with her, and she came to believe that, in his own way, he was. He was cruel and egotistical, grasping whatever he wanted and careless of whom he hurt. But, like many selfish brutes, he had a sentimental streak. Cassie had a hold on his heart that nobody else could claim, and he took this as proof of his own humanity.

It gave her a kind of power, and she discovered that power could be enjoyable, especially when it was all you had. Jake’s eagerness to please her was ironic, but she could use it to make him give money to charity. She supported two particular charities, one for children, one for animals, and for them she extracted as much as she could from Jake.

Afterwards he expected to be repaid. ‘Now you’ll be nice to me, won’t you?’ he’d say, and she would yield to the night that followed, trying not to show her revulsion. What Jake called ‘love-making’ was so horribly different to what she had known with Marcel that it came from another universe, one where she had to endure being slobbered over and violated.

At first she tried to pretend that she was back in the arms of her true love, but the contrast was so cruel that she gave it up in sheer self-defence. Otherwise she would have genuinely gone mad.

It was almost a relief to become pregnant, and have an excuse to banish Jake from her bed. Slightly to her surprise he accepted her decision without argument. At the thought of producing the next generation his sentimental streak was asserting itself again, and he withdrew to protect her.

And now she could at least feel that life held out some hope for her. She would have a child to love, a purpose in life.

But after five months she miscarried. No doctor could tell her why. There had been no accident, no trauma. It had simply happened, leaving her staring into a blank future.

Hope came from an unexpected source. By chance she discovered that Jake had been playing around.

‘It’s not my fault,’ he defended himself. ‘It’s months since we could … well, it’ll be different now.’

‘Yes, it’s going to be different,’ she agreed. ‘I’m divorcing you.’

His howls of protest left her unmoved, and so did his threats.

‘If you want to destroy me, Jake, go ahead. What do you think is left to destroy? Do your worst. I don’t care.’

Perhaps it was the thought of how many of his disreputable secrets she’d learned that warned him to be cautious. But something made him cave in. Before he could change his mind she hurled back at him every expensive gift he’d ever given her, including the engagement ring. Then she moved out the same day.

He made one last attempt to persuade her to remain his wife. When that failed he tried to get her to accept a financial settlement.

She agreed to very little for the sake of her family, but took nothing for herself. ‘If I live off your money you’ll still think you control me,’ she told him. ‘And I want to forget that you ever existed.’

He paled. ‘You’re breaking my heart,’ he choked.

And he meant it, she thought afterwards. Oddly enough, this unpleasant man had a heart to break, where she was concerned.

But it left her untouched. She no longer feared him. All she felt was a heady sensation of power at having brought him down.

She rejected his name, calling herself Henshaw because it had been her mother’s maiden name, and using the ‘Mrs’ because she thought it made her sound older and more serious.

Refusing to live off Jake’s money satisfied her but left her penniless. There was no chance of returning to modelling, even if she’d wanted to. Most people would still have called her beautiful, but she felt her magic ‘something’ had vanished for ever. She’d taken any menial job she could get, using her free time to go to evening classes, studying business to the point of exhaustion. She’d emerged triumphant, going to work in a bank and climbing fast. She had never looked back.

Now she was near the top of the tree, trying to believe it had all been worth it.

But as she looked back at Marcel, sitting quietly, watching her, she was filled with such a rush of hostility that she could have struck him down and enjoyed doing it.

You could have saved me, she thought. If I’d known who you really were I’d have appealed to your father, and everything could have been different. Oh, why weren’t you honest with me? You could have saved me from Jake, from that terrible marriage, losing my child. You could have stopped me turning into a heartless robot, but when it happened I had nowhere to turn. Damn you!

‘What’s the matter?’ Marcel asked, rising and coming beside her. ‘You look upset.’

‘Not at all,’ she said brightly. ‘I was just enjoying the view and the fresh air.’

‘Come away from the ledge.’ He led her firmly back to the table and stood over her until she was seated.

‘Go on telling me about your life,’ he said. ‘What happened to your husband? Did you walk out on him?’

Like I did with you, you mean? she thought ironically. That’s what you’re thinking right now, although you won’t come out and say so.

‘Yes, I left him,’ she said. ‘But only because he was sleeping with someone else.’

Let’s see what you make of that! If you want revenge I’ve just given it to you. But is that what you want? If only I knew.

‘I hope he made some financial provision for you,’ Marcel said politely.

‘I wouldn’t let him. It would have given him a hold on me, and no man has that. Ever.’

‘When you finish with a man you really finish with him,’ he murmured.

‘It’s the only way.’ She gave a sharp, defiant laugh. ‘When I’ve finished with him, he no longer exists.’ ‘No looking back?’

‘Looking back is scary,’ she whispered. ‘It fills you with hate and makes you want to do things that you know you shouldn’t, so then the person you hate is yourself.’

She didn’t look at him as she said it. She didn’t dare. And his reply was so soft that another person might have missed it. But she was alive to everything about him, and she heard the quiet words with their ominous warning.

‘That’s very true.’

She glanced at him just in time to meet his eyes, but not in time to read their expression before he looked away. She waited, hoping that he would turn back to her and they might even find a way to talk. But his eyes were fixed on the distance and the silence between them was as deafening as a roar.

All around them the lights were sparkling, arranged in arches by the walls, with dainty lamps near the tables.

The atmosphere on the roof had changed, grown softer, sentimental. This was a place for romantic trysts, with lovers’ eyes meeting over the rims of wine glasses. Here there should be smiles of heartfelt understanding, unspoken promises of love. It was a world apart and anyone who did not belong in that world had no right to be here.

I don’t belong, she thought wearily. I did once. Not any more.

Nearby was a couple sitting close together. The man was middle-aged and heavy. The girl was about twenty, gorgeous and flaunting it. She might have been the young Cassie.

‘I guess there’s no point in me trying to talk to him tonight,’ said a male voice nearby. ‘Sorry,’ he added hastily, as Marcel and Cassie turned to look at him. ‘It’s just that I’d planned to talk business with that fellow.’

Marcel grinned. ‘No chance now.’

‘We should never have agreed to meet here. Too many good-time girls as a distraction. I gather this place is known for it. Everywhere you look there’s a lush female trying to seduce a man into parting from his money.’ He seemed to become aware of Cassie and hastily added, ‘Forgive me. Not you, of course!’

‘Of course,’ she said.

‘I mean you’re obviously a very … sensible … businesslike woman, and I didn’t mean to insult you.’

She regarded him with ironic humour. ‘You mean it’s quite impossible that I could ever lead a man down dark and dangerous paths? Some women would be more insulted by that than the other.’

‘Look I … put my foot in it. I apologise.’

He retreated in a flurry of embarrassment.

‘Well, you certainly made him sorry,’ Marcel declared.

She managed to laugh. ‘I did, didn’t I? His face!’

The man had gone to join the couple at the other table, talking wildly and making gestures, clearly explaining something to them. He glanced up, saw Cassie looking at him and gave her an embarrassed grin.

‘He’s terrified of me,’ she murmured to Marcel.

‘And you don’t mind?’

‘Why should I mind? I don’t want to lead him down “dark and dangerous paths”. Hey, the girl’s looking at me now. I wonder if she’s taking warning.’

‘That your gaze might turn her to stone?’ Marcel hazarded hilariously.

‘No, that a woman can start out like her and end like me. Not that she’d believe it.’

She had a dizzying sensation of going too far. Surely now Marcel must be remembering the dark and dangerous paths down which they’d travelled together, and reading the truth in her eyes. But the time was not right. If things had been different she could have told him everything now, but that was impossible until he could bring himself to admit that he knew who she was.

And that day might never come.

Suddenly she doubted that she had the strength for this. She wanted to cry aloud and flee him. She even moved to rise from her seat, but his hand detained her.

‘Are you all right? You look troubled.’

His voice was gentle, his eyes warm and concerned. It was as though another man had taken him over, or perhaps lured him back to the past, and it was her undoing.

‘Look, I must go. It’s late and I’m tired—’

‘Of course. I’ll take you home.’

‘No!’ The word was almost violent. ‘No, there’s no need for that. I’ll be all right.’

‘I’ll tell Hotel Reception to send a car to the front for you. Then you’ll be free of me.’

‘It’s not that—’ she began wildly.

‘Yes, it is,’ he said. ‘It’s like that for both of us.’ His voice grew softer, more intense. ‘We both need some time to get our heads together.’ His eyes met hers. ‘Don’t we?’

She nodded dumbly.

He escorted her out of the hotel and to the waiting car, assisted her into a seat at the rear, then stood with the door still open, leaning in slightly, holding onto her hand.

‘It’s all right about going to Paris, isn’t it?’ he asked.

‘Of course.’

‘Then be ready to travel tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow? But you said I could have the day off to sort out—’

‘I’ve changed my mind. There’s no time. You’ll have to do it long-distance when you get there. I’ll collect you at nine tomorrow morning.’ His hand tightened on hers. ‘You will be there, won’t you?’

‘Of course.’

‘You won’t vanish?’

‘No.’

‘Promise me.’ His voice was almost harsh in its intensity. ‘I promise,’ she said.

His eyes held hers and for a moment she thought he would refuse to let go of her hand. But then he released her suddenly, slammed the door and stepped back. Her last view of him was standing there, completely still, his eyes fixed on the retreating car like a man clinging on to a vanishing hope.

He watched her until she was out of sight, then took out his phone and dialled a number given to him by his father. It was a private security firm. In a hard voice he gave her address.

‘These are your instructions. You park outside and watch. If she comes out with a suitcase and gets into a taxi you call me. Then follow her. And don’t let her out of your sight for a moment.’ In her time with Jake, Cassie had grown used to his ways of flaunting his wealth and what he fondly believed to be his status. He would book the most expensive seats on planes, then arrive at the last minute with the maximum of fuss.

Marcel, in contrast, reached the airport early, got through the formalities with courtesy and was driven quietly to the private jet that was waiting for him.

‘My father’s,’ he explained.

The plane was pure luxury. It could seat eight people in soft, comfortable seats, and had its own galley from which food and drink was served to the two of them by a steward who existed solely for their comfort.

As they began to move down the runway he said, ‘The weather’s fine so it should be a smooth flight. Nothing to worry about.’

So he remembered that she was afraid of flying, she thought. After one modelling job she’d returned home still shaken and distraught from a bumpy flight. How bright his eyes had been, how full of expectancy for the night of passion to come. And how quickly he’d forgotten all thoughts of his own pleasure to take her trembling body in his arms and soothe her tenderly. There had been no sex that night, and in the morning she had loved him more than ever for his generosity.

‘Have you ever been to Paris?’ he asked now. ‘No, but I’ve always wanted to. I’m looking forward to exploring it.’

‘You won’t have time for that. You’ll live in the hotel, and have a desk in my office. Everything will be provided to help with your work and you’ll be “confined to barracks”, forbidden to leave.’

For a moment she almost thought he meant it, but just in time she saw the gleam of wicked humour in his eyes. ‘Yeah, right!’ she said cynically.

‘You don’t believe me? Wait until you see the locks on the doors.’

‘Nonsense!’

‘That’s no way to talk to your employer.’

‘If you were any other employer I wouldn’t, but we both know that I’m not just here to study the facts of La Couronne. I’m here to absorb the atmosphere, and that means the atmosphere of the city as well.’

‘Very subtle,’ he said appreciatively. ‘So you’ll arrange the job to suit yourself.’

‘It’s what I’m good at,’ she said impishly. ‘Being in control.’

He grinned. She smiled back, happy in this brief moment of warmth and ease between them. But then a scream burst from her as the plane jerked and plunged a few feet.

‘Sorry,’ came the pilot’s voice. ‘Air pocket. It’s going to be a little turbulent.’

‘Don’t worry.’ Marcel took both her hands in his. ‘It’ll be over soon. There’s no danger.’

‘I know it’s not dangerous,’ she said huskily. ‘It’s just … being shaken.’

‘Just hold onto me.’ His hands tightened.

She did so, closing her eyes and shaking her head. It was foolish to be scared but she couldn’t help it. As the plane shuddered she whispered, ‘No, no, no—’

‘Look at me,’ Marcel commanded. ‘Open your eyes.’

She did so, and the world vanished. His gaze held hers as firmly as if he had her in chains. And they were the most dangerous chains of all because she had no wish to break them.

‘It’s all right,’ he said. ‘It’s finishing now.’

He was right. The plane’s juddering was fading, then ceasing altogether. But that wasn’t why the sense of peace and safety was stealing over her. She held him tightly because while he was there nothing could go wrong.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a shaking voice. ‘It’s stupid to be scared—’

‘We all have our nightmares. They don’t have to make sense.’

She managed an edgy laugh. ‘So much for being in control.’

‘We’d all like to be in control,’ he said quietly. ‘And we all spend our lives discovering how wrong we are.’

‘No,’ she said defensively. ‘I don’t believe it has to be like that.’

‘I only wish you were right.’

He looked down at their hands, still clasped, and gently released her. She had to suppress the impulse to hold on, refusing to let him go. But she must not give in. She was strong. She was in control. She’d just said so.

At the airport a limousine was waiting to convey them into the heart of Paris. She watched in delight as the landmarks glided past, and they came to a halt in the Champs Elysées in the glamorous heart of the city.

La Couronne towered above her, grandiose and beautiful. Stewards hurried forward to greet their employer and regard herself with curiosity. One of them seized Cassie’s bags and invited her to follow him.

‘I’ll join you later,’ Marcel said.

Her accommodation was high up, a luxurious suite where a maid was waiting for her. She’d been wondering what to expect, but the reality took her breath away.

‘My name is Tina,’ said the maid. ‘I am here to serve you. I will start unpacking.’

‘Thank you. I’ll go and freshen up.’

She went into the bathroom and regarded herself critically in the mirror. Marcel had told her to soften her appearance, but so far she hadn’t done so. On the journey he’d glanced at her appearance but made no comment. Now she loosened her hair, letting it fall about her face, not in waves as he’d once known it, but long and straight.

I’m not really Cassie any more, she thought. I’ve been fooling myself.

Sighing in frustration, she left the bathroom and immediately halted at the sight that met her eyes.

‘Tina let me in,’ Marcel said. ‘I came to see how you were settling. If you’re ready I’ll show you around.’

‘Fine, I’m almost finished. I’ll just—’ She raised a hand to her hair, but he stopped her.

‘Leave it.’

‘But it’s all over the place. I can’t go around looking as though I’d been pulled through a hedge backwards.’

‘True, but it won’t take much to make you a little neater. Just brush it back here—and here—’

As he spoke he was flicking his fingers against her blonde locks, sending them spinning back over her shoulders, then smoothing them away. She tried not to be conscious of his fingertips softly brushing her face, but some things could never be driven away. The touch of a lover’s hand, the feel of his breath whispering against her face in agitated waves.

But he’s no longer my lover. Remember that.

Firmly she pushed feelings aside. She couldn’t afford them.

‘Let’s go,’ she said. ‘I really want to see the hotel.’

‘I suppose you’ve read enough to know the background,’ he said, showing her outside.

‘I know it was once the home of the Marquis de Montpelier, a friend of royalty, who could have anything he wanted, including three wives, five mistresses and more children than he could count.’

‘Until the Revolution began, and they all went to the guillotine,’ Marcel supplied. ‘If you look out of this window you can almost see the place where they died.’

There in the distance she could just make out the Place de la Concorde, where the guillotine had once stood.

‘I wonder how often they looked at that view, never dreaming of what would happen to them in the end,’ she murmured.

Now, she thought, their palace was the centre of a business empire, and the man who controlled it was safely armoured against all life could do to him.

‘Some of the building still looks as it did then,’ Marcel told her. ‘I keep it that way for the historical interest. Plus I have a friend who claims to have second sight and swears she can see the ghosts of the Montpelier family, carrying their heads under their arms.’

‘And you make the most of it,’ she said, amused.

‘Let’s say the rooms on that corridor are always the first to be hired.’

‘Do you live on that corridor?’

He grinned. ‘No, I don’t like to be disturbed by howling spectres.’

As they went over the building she recorded her impressions into a small microphone while Marcel listened, impressed.

‘Now let’s go to my apartment,’ he said, ‘unless you’re tired.’

‘No, let’s keep working.’

She was eager to see where he lived and learn what it could tell her about his present personality. But when they arrived she was disappointed. Only the room he used as an office was accessible. The rest was kept hidden behind closed doors.

‘I’ll be back in a moment,’ he said. ‘Access anything you want on the computer.’

He went out into the corridor, and she began to familiarise herself with his computer, which was state-of-the-art. She had expected no less. There was a mountain of information for her to take in and she went quickly from one item to the

next. A casual onlooker would think she couldn’t possibly be absorbing information with such brief glances, but that would be a mistake. She had a photographic memory, which in the old days she’d hidden because it clashed with her sexy image. Marcel had been one of the few people to discover that beneath the ditzy surface was a mind like a machine. That was it!

She gasped as she realised that she had the answer to the question that had teased her. When she and Marcel had exchanged phone details yesterday, she’d offered to return his and he’d said, ‘You could have memorised it by now.’

She’d barely glanced at the scrap of paper, yet he’d known that would be enough for her because he knew something about her that no stranger could have known.

‘A great brain’, he’d called her, laughing as he clasped her in his arms.

‘How do I dare to make love to a woman with such a great brain? A mighty brain! A genius! Some men might find that intimidating.’

‘But not you, hmm?’

‘No, because she has other virtues. Come here!’

Now, sitting in Marcel’s office, she began to shake with the violence of the emotion possessing her. She’d guessed that he recognised her, but now she was sure. He had brought her here, to the heart of his own world. Couldn’t she dare to hope that they might open their arms to each other and put right the wrongs of the past?

She’d thought she wanted vengeance, but that was being crowded out by other sensations beyond her control.

Now was the moment, and she would seize it with eager hands. If only he would return quickly.

She heard footsteps in the corridor. He was coming. In just a few moments everything would be transformed. The old attraction was beginning to rise up inside her, and surely it was the same with him. There might even be happiness again.

But the next instant the dream died, smashed to smithereens by something she knew she should have anticipated, but had carelessly overlooked.

Which meant there was no one to blame but herself.