Читать книгу Say Yes To The Cowboy - Vicki Lewis Thompson - Страница 12

Chapter Four

“Are you crazy?” Tess stared at Zeke in dismay while a voice in her head screeched, This isn’t happening! Dear God, this isn’t happening! “We barely know each other.”

His jaw tightened. “We know each other well enough to make a baby. That’s a little more intimate than a handshake, Tess. You knew me well enough to get naked with me. Marriages have been built on a lot less.”

“But I don’t want to be married. I’ve been there and it wasn’t a whole lot of fun. And I thought we were in love! You and I don’t even have that going for us.”

He rose. “What if that’s for the best? What’s wrong with getting married for the sake of the kid?”

“Everything. In eighteen years or so this baby will be ready to create a life of his own. What then? Will we stay married after he goes off to college or a job in another state? Will we stare at each other across the breakfast table and wonder what the heck we’ve done to ourselves for the sake of the kid?”

He glanced down at his boots. She noticed they had a light layer of dust on them, though they’d started the walk dust-free. When he looked up again, his gaze was bleak. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“But we have to.” She should have figured out what he was planning when he appeared this morning in clothes that looked almost new, recently polished boots and a clean-shaved jaw. Yet she’d never dreamed he’d do a complete one-eighty and propose after announcing in April that he’d never marry or have kids. He’d blindsided her because she didn’t know him at all.

“Okay, you make a good point about the marriage thing, but I still want to be part of my son’s life.”

“Why?” She gazed up at him.

“He’s my son.”

“Look, if you’re feeling an obligation because society has conditioned you that way, please try to adjust your thinking. Obligation and duty have no place in this scenario. I won’t have someone around this baby who resents him.”

“I didn’t say I resented him.”

“Maybe not yet. He isn’t even born. But kids take time away from other things you might want to do and they can be frustrating to deal with sometimes. Considering all you’ve said about protecting your independent lifestyle, why would you let yourself in for that?”

“Because I want to make sure he’ll be okay.”

“I promise you that he’ll be well taken care of.” And that was the crux of the situation. He didn’t trust her to do that. And why should he? He didn’t know her, either.

“Tess, I have a legal right to spend time with him.”

“I know you do.” She felt a stab of panic. “But don’t you see? If you’re forcing yourself to be a father, that’s horrible for a child. They know the difference between love and obligation. You can’t fake it, so why even go there?”

“Because he’s my son.”

She sighed. “We’re going around in circles. And this rock is getting warmer by the minute. Let’s go back.”

“But we haven’t settled anything.”

“I know that.” What a maddening man—a gorgeous, stubborn cowboy who still had the power to make her heart beat faster. She doubted he’d spent much time around children, while she’d made a career of it. Zeke had no idea what he would be getting into. Yet, somehow, when he’d dug in his heels and said “He’s my son,” it turned her on.

She had to watch out for those pesky feelings of lust, though. She’d read enough books on pregnancy to know the hormones coursing through her body could make her susceptible to a virile guy who kept giving her hot glances. He obviously wanted her and that was arousing, but surrendering to those urges would complicate an already dicey situation.

“Are you willing to stick around for another day or two until we come to some kind of agreement on how this will go?”

“I’m willing, but I don’t like imposing on your foster parents.”

“I seriously doubt they consider it imposing. Did Rosie give you the word that she loves being a grandma?”

“She did and I think it’s sweet. I’m sure she and Herb are terrific grandparents. I’ll be happy to keep them in the loop.”

His expression darkened. “But not me?”

“You said you didn’t want kids, Zeke!”

“That was before I found out you were pregnant. That changes everything.”

“It doesn’t have to. Just think of yourself as a sperm donor.”

“A sperm donor?” A dangerous light flashed in his hazel eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I remember making this baby the old-fashioned way.” He stepped closer, his chest heaving. “I distinctly recall having some very sweaty, very satisfying, sex with you, lady, complete with orgasms that made you cry my name so loud I was afraid someone would call hotel security. I was your lover, damn it. I never want to hear that term again.”

Heat scorched her body and she clenched her fists at her sides to keep from reaching for him. She swallowed. “Got it.”

“And another thing.” His voice softened. “Although you don’t want to marry me, your eyes tell me what you do want. Just so you know, that would be fine with me, but you’ll have to do the asking. Whatever happens or doesn’t is your choice.” He turned around and started down the trail.

She prayed her legs would carry her as she followed him. He’d snapped her self-control with that speech. If he hadn’t turned away, she probably would have launched herself at him and begged for more of that red-hot loving he’d so graphically described. But he had turned away and she’d pulled together the pieces of her shredded pride.

Somehow she’d managed to keep her mouth shut, but her body still yearned for his touch. She gazed with longing at his broad shoulders and the movement of his powerful back muscles. Yes, she was guilty of ogling, but she’d dare any woman with a pulse to ignore the way his jeans cupped his backside. She’d admired that view on the way up the trail and, after his impassioned words, she was even more mesmerized on the way down.

When they reached the truck Zeke handed her in with brisk efficiency. No significant glances or lingering touches. Apparently he’d meant what he’d said. Nothing would happen between them unless she initiated it. She vowed not to do that.

After he got behind the wheel, he opened the console and took out his phone. “I’ll call Rosie and make sure she’s okay with you staying a little longer.”

“All right. Tell her I’d be glad to check into a hotel in Sheridan, if she prefers.”

“Okay.” He nudged back his hat and put the phone to his ear. “Hi, Rosie. Tess needs to stay a few more days. She’s offered to check into a hotel in town.” He smiled. “I know. Yes, ma’am, she’s very considerate. I’ll tell her what you said.” He disconnected the call and returned the phone to the console. “You’re welcome to stay at the ranch for as long as you want.” He twisted the key in the ignition and the truck’s powerful engine roared to life.

“That’s nice of her.”

“Rosie’s great.” He checked for traffic and executed a quick U-turn. “Since I’m the one who set up this discussion, I’ll let you call the shots for the next one. Tell me when and where and I’ll make sure I’m available.”

His self-possession amazed her. She was a bundle of nerves. The combination of his sex appeal and his determination to be a part of the baby’s life had torpedoed her original plan. She’d have to create a new plan before she saw him again. “I need a little time. If you’ll give me your number I’ll text you.”

“There’s a pad of paper and a pen in the console.”

She found them lying inside the compartment. Underneath was a faded brochure advertising “The Ropin’ Ragin’ Raffertys!” She recognized Zeke, who looked about ten, wearing jeans and a shirt decorated in fringe and spangles. The man beside him in a matching outfit had to be his father.

She closed the console without asking about the brochure. She wished she hadn’t seen it. Learning about his past would only draw her deeper into his life and make it harder to extricate herself. She was going to raise her baby on her own. She still believed that would be best for everyone concerned.

Zeke rattled off his phone number. She scribbled it down, tore out the page and returned the pad and pen to the console without looking at the brochure. He’d probably forgotten it was in there. She doubted he was any more eager to share details of his past than she was to hear them.

A truck with a camper shell was parked in the circular gravel drive of the ranch house. Zeke stopped behind it and switched off the engine. “Drew’s here.”

“Another foster brother?”

He shook his head as he reached for the door handle. “She’s a videographer. Cade and Lexi hired her for the wedding.” He glanced over at her. “Hang on. I’ll help you down.”

Tess put a hand on his arm. “That’s not necessary.” The muscles in his forearm tensed and she removed her hand as if she’d touched a hot stove. “I can get out by myself.”

“I know you can.” He opened his door. “But that’s not how cowboys do things.”

Back in April his chivalry had been one of the reasons she’d invited him to her hotel room. She’d had a hunch that he’d know how to treat a woman, and wow, had she been right. Now she wished he’d stop because his manners reminded her of how considerate he could be when they were alone and naked.

But refusing to let him help her in and out of his truck would be petty and pointless. He wasn’t using the gallant gesture as an excuse to steal a kiss or a caress. His assistance was proper and impersonal. He didn’t even smile.

She turned toward him. “I’ll text you this afternoon.” That should give her enough time to create a new plan.

“All right. I might run some errands today but I’ll take my phone.”

“Sounds good. Thanks for showing me Lion’s Rest Rock. It’s beautiful up there.”

An emotion flickered briefly in his eyes. “You’re welcome.” He touched the tips of his fingers to the brim of his hat. “My pleasure.” He turned and walked back around his truck.

His pleasure? Really? She’d shot down his proposal. That couldn’t have felt very good. But if she’d hurt him, he wasn’t showing any signs of it. He’d only reacted emotionally when she’d suggested he think of himself as a sperm donor.

That had been insensitive of her. Now that she was more in command of herself, she needed to apologize. But he’d already put the truck in gear and driven away.

She’d see him again later today so she could mention it then. On the other hand, if she brought up the heated exchange on the rock, that would refocus attention on their sexual past. Not a good idea.

As she climbed the porch steps and walked toward the door, she wondered about protocol. She was a houseguest and could probably walk in. But instead she rapped on the screen door and called out, “I’m back!” as she opened it.

“We’re in the kitchen!” Rosie sounded excited. “Come and tell us whether our idea is crazy or not.”

Tess walked in and discovered Rosie and two women, one with her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail and the other with a mop of short brown hair. The one with short hair turned out to be Lexi, Cade’s fiancée. The other was Drew Martinelli, the videographer.

Rosie’s face was pink with excitement. “We’re thinking of having the ceremony in the barn. Is that completely nuts or completely brilliant?”

“I vote for brilliant,” Drew said. “I filmed the inside of the barn when I made the promotional video for Thunder Mountain Academy last month and the interior is suffused with a golden light, probably because of all the wood surfaces.”

Tess pulled up a chair. “I haven’t seen the inside of the barn yet, but it sounds like a fun idea. Would there be room for your guests?”

Lexi pushed over a yellow legal pad where she’d drawn a diagram. “This isn’t quite to scale, but it’s close. Rosie and I know that barn pretty well, and we think we can fit between thirty and forty people in there, especially if we use benches instead of chairs.”

“And we’ll gain extra space if we have all the Thunder Mountain Brotherhood standing here in a semicircle behind Cade and Lexi.” Rosie pointed to a spot at the front of the barn.

Tess glanced at Rosie in confusion. “What’s the Thunder Mountain Brotherhood?”

“Zeke never mentioned it?” Rosie frowned. “Come to think of it, he might not realize he’s automatically in. That’s a recent development.”

“It is,” Lexi said. “And I’ll bet nobody thought to tell him.”

Rosie looked over at Tess. “Sorry, you must have no idea what we’re talking about.”

“Not a clue.”

“Years ago, the first three boys we brought to the ranch declared themselves blood brothers. Secret ceremony in the woods at midnight, pressing bloody palms together, the works.”

Tess smiled. “Sounds like it wasn’t a secret to you.”

“Nothing’s a secret to Rosie.” Lexi gave her a fond glance. “But she let them think it was. They kept their group exclusive until last year when they figured out that was elitist nonsense and all the guys who’d ever lived here should be members. I need to have Cade talk to Zeke.”

“Damon might have more opportunity now that he’s over at Matt’s so much,” Rosie said. “He’s one of the original three. In any case, when all my boys are standing up there, Zeke should be with them.”

“It’ll be a great visual, all those cowboys in a half circle behind the bride and groom,” Drew said. “How many men are we talking about?”

Rosie ticked them off on her fingers. “Zeke would make nine. Lexi, I just heard from Austin, who says he’s flying home from New Zealand for the wedding. He put his RSVP in the mail but he’ll probably get here before it does.”

“Junior’s coming?” Lexi smiled. “Tess, you’ll love him. He was the youngest boy to come to the ranch, only nine when he arrived, so the older kids nicknamed him Junior, which I think he pretty much hates but he puts up with it. Oh, and before I forget...” She reached into a tote bag beside her chair and pulled out an envelope. “Here’s your invitation. I wasn’t sure whether I’d catch you today but I brought it so I could leave it with Rosie. I hope you can come.”

Tess gazed down at the hand-lettered envelope and her throat tightened with emotion. Lexi must have addressed the invitation this morning after hearing from Rosie. “This is incredibly sweet, but I can tell seating will be limited so you don’t have to invite me.”

“We want you there.” Lexi reached over and squeezed her arm. “No matter what happens with Zeke, you’re part of the family now.”

She swallowed. “Thank you. Then I’ll come.”

“Good! We’ll—”

Drew’s phone chimed and she quickly glanced at it. “Sorry, but I have to run. That’s my next appointment.” She pushed back her chair. “I love the barn idea. Text me and we’ll set a time to go down there and finalize the details.” She picked up a large backpack. “Nice meeting you, Tess!”

“Same here, Drew.” Once she was out the door, Tess gazed at Rosie and Lexi. “If I’m coming to the wedding, then I need to tell you what happened this morning.”

Rosie groaned. “I’ll bet I know.”

“Zeke proposed.”

Although Lexi gasped, Rosie nodded as if she’d expected that news. She wasn’t smiling in anticipation, either. “What did you say?”

“The only thing I could say. I can’t marry a man I barely know just because I’m pregnant with his child.”

“Of course you can’t.” Rosie shook her head and sighed. “I could tell when he walked in the kitchen this morning that he’d decided to do something stupid.” She looked over at Lexi. “He even shaved off his beard for the occasion.”

Lexi rolled her eyes. “What an idiot.”

“I still want to come to the wedding,” Tess said, “but I can’t guarantee how well Zeke and I will be getting along at that point. Unfortunately, I think he proposed because he doesn’t trust me to raise this baby.”

“No, he probably doesn’t.” Rosie gave her a warm smile. “But I do.”