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THE KING’S RING

(A Comedy)

Interesting carictars. Famous ones. For instance, Sir Big, a world-famed gentleman. A very good choreus and nice scenry. (Slight comic tints in and out threw it.¹)

PREFACE

The play was ment to take place in the year 1327 the reign of King Bunny Ist. Before his reign the country was called Bublish and was under the rule of King Bublish. It was in their to reigns that Mr Icthus-oress made his fortune by playing the harp; he got his name from fighting an Icthus-oress; his father a butcher died 1307.

Dramatis Personae

SIR PETER MOUSE Kinight in waiting on King

BUNNY King of Animal-land

ICTHUS-ORESS Son to dead butcher, singer

MR GOLD FISH General to King

SIR BIG A frog fieldmarshel

GOLLYWOG His servant

SIR GOOSE Rich baron, spy

DORIMIE A page

HIT A thief

BROWNIE BAND

MR BLUE Conducter

MR YELLOW Drummer

MR J. MAUVE Trumpeter

MR B. MAUVE Bugleur

MR READ Clappers

Judges, Harbour-Masters, Sailors etc.

PLACES

PIP CASTLE is King Bunny’s palace

MURRY, a town in Mouse-Land

MOURN HILLS, hills at back of Murry

MOUSE LANE, road between Pip Castle and Murry

THE GOOSE INN, an inn in Murry

JEMIMA, a river on which Murry is built

TOPSY, a port at mouth of Jemima

CANNON-TOWN, a city in Rabbit-Land

ACT I

Scene I: The Goose Inn.

(KING BUNNY and PETER MOUSE discouvered drinking.

BAR-MAN behind counter.)

KING BUNNY: This wine is good.

BAR-MAN: I shall drink a stiff goblet to the health of King Bunny.

KING BUNNY: For this good toast much thanks. SIR PETER: Draws near the dinner hour so pleas your Magasty.

KING BUNNY: Run go bid the kooks to wait.

(Exit SIR PETER.)

BAR-MAN: How now your Magasty. The clock strikes one.

KING BUNNY: I wager you my shoe that I shall put you home. Is that what you mean?

BAR-MAN: Yes I do mean it.

(Curtain.)

Scene II: A room in Pip Castle.

(SIR BIG, GOLLYWOG, etc., KING BUNNY,

SIR PETER etc. eating dinner.)

SIR PETER: (to KING BUNNY) Know you the bar-man’s name?

KING BUNNY: His name is Hit.

GOLD FISH: T’is an odd one in sooth, how came you know it your Magasty?

KING BUNNY: I heard folk call him Hit. (Enter a SERVANT.)

SERVANT: A Mouse stands at the gate and he would speak with your Magasty.

SIR BIG }

KING BUNNY } Let him come.

SIR PETER }

(Exit SERVANT.)

SIR PETER: Who might it be? What might he want?

(Re-enter SERVANT with HIT.)

SERVANT: This is the Mouse.

KING BUNNY: How-now good Hit.

HIT: I am well. I hope I find the same. How tight thy ring is.

(KING BUNNY tacks it of. Goes to window to look at mark on finger.)

HIT: (aside) I am a lucky Mouse.

(Tacks ring. Exit.)

KING BUNNY: (turns) O where is my ring and where is Hit?

(Curtain.)

Scene III: Mr Icthus-oress’s House.

(MR ICTHUS-ORESS, BOB, TOM and GOLLIWOG.)

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Wilt have a game of cards?

BOB: The law of mine order allows me not such idle pleasures.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Thou needst not play, then.

(Enter SIR PETER MOUSE.)

SIR PETER: Hast sceene the King’s ring? T’is lost.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Lost!! None of us saw it.

SIR PETER: It must be found.

(Exit.)

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: T’is bad.

BOB: May wee be saved from the theft that stole King Bunny’s ring.

TOM: Thy bald and brainless pate shall do no good.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Hush I hear footsteps.

(Enter HIT bearing BUNNY’S ring made to look like a common ring.)

HIT: I’ll sell you ring for one Ducat. MR ICTHUS-ORESS: (gives ducat) I shall buy it.

(Curtain.)

ACT II

Scene I: Murry. SIR BIG’S house.

(Enter SIR BIG, SIR PETER, GOLLYWOG, etc.)

SIR BIG: Gollywog.

GOLLYWOG: My lord.

SIR BIG: Get me mine aurmer. I and the good Sir Peter mean to find the king’s ring.

(Exit GOLLYWOG.)

SIR PETER: Wee set our selves to a hard task.

SIR BIG: Indeed wee do sir.

(Enter MR BLUE.)

MR BLUE: I too shall help to find the king’s ring. (Exit all. Enter MR ICTHUS-ORESS, TOM, BOB, GOLLYWOG.)

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: The ring which I have bought is good.

TOM: How goes the story of Bun’s ring I wonder. (Enter MR BLUE with arrow in his side borne by MR YELLOW.)

MR BLUE: I asked Mr Hit had he got it¹ but he got angry and shot an arrow at me. MR ICTHUS-ORESS: He is a false knave.

(Enter the rest of BROWNIE BAND and DORIMIE.) DORIMIE: (to MR BLUE) I have revenged you. MR BLUE: Much thank for that.

(Curtain.)

Scene II: A boat. SIR BIG’S cabin.

(Flourish. Enter SIR PETER, GOLLYWOG

and DORIMIE.)

SIR BIG: O now we sail to Cannon-Town for there that false knave Hit has fled. Wee mean punish him for shooting at Mr Blue.

SIR PETER: Indeed you speak sooth. Ho!! Dorimie. DORIMIE: My lord.

SIR PETER: Get me some wine.

(Exit all. Flourish. Enter MR ICTHUS-ORESS.)

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: (sings)

Something ti tack a tack to

Hurting the feelings of you.

(Enter HIT.)

HIT: Hail gossip. Dist like the ring I gave thee.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: O verry well.

(Curtain.)

Scene III: The Liberry at Cannon-Town.

(Enter a HERALD. At last SIR BIG, SIR PETER,

MR GOLD FISH and all the BROWNIE BAND,

MR BLUE included.)

HERALD: Be it now told that Archaabald Hit hath been made a member of the order of knight. Ye reason why be not told ye public.

(Exit HERALD: Flourish. Enter KING BUNNY followed by DORIMIE.)

KING BUNNY: Come hither friends and list to me. I knighted Hit to draw him near me, for the nearer he is to me the more I know about him.

ALL: Yes, well.

KING BUNNY: Don’t you know that we have thought from the first that Hit had stolen my ring? And so I mean to see if he realy has.

MR BLUE: I, Sir Big, and Sir Peter Mouse, intend to find thy ring but we heard that Hit had come hither.

KING BUNNY: O I see.

(Curtain.)

ACT III

Scene I: A public garden in Cannon-Town.

(DORIMIE and MR ICTHUS-ORESS discovered.)

DORIMIE: Hail.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Good-day sir.

DORIMIE: The same to you gossip.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: The day is fine.

DORIMIE: Indeed it is good man.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Nice gardens.

DORIMIE: Look hear minstrel.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Yes.

DORIMIE: I want you to teach me to sing.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: All right, this the way I sing (sings)

the owl and the

pussy cat went to sea.

DORIMIE: To see what?

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: To the sea.

DORIMIE: O, was it the see of, what Bishop?

(Enter SIR BIG.)

SIR BIG: In sooth thou hast a nice ring.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: Yes.

SIR BIG: (suddenly finding it is BUNNY’S ring) How is this? This is King Bunny’s ring made up to look like a comon one, at last I have found the theif ho!! Mr Blue, Sir Peter Mouse, Gollywog, I’ve got the King’s ring.

(Enter SIR PETER MOUSE, GOLLYWOG and MR BLUE.)

MR BLUE: Hail Big, what means this noise?

GOLLYWOG: T’is strange.

SIR PETER: O what means this? Explain thy-selfe my lord Sir Big.

DORIMIE: Give him time.

MR BLUE: Be silent page.

SIR BIG: (points to MR ICTHUS-ORESS) On him. On the thief.

SIR PETER: Who!! Which!! Where!! When!! Why!! What!! How!!

SIR BIG: Take hold good freinds and listin, seeing all the while that he does not run away.

SIR BIG: What no ansewr Dorimie, in the name of the king cach hold!!

(Enter SIR GOOSE.)

DORIMIE: But my lord Big, Mr Icthus-oress was my freind –

SIR GOOSE: (inturupting) Hush o hush, good Sir Big. I can give thee the true history of the king’s ring.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: And so can I.

SIR BIG: Hold thy tounge theif. Go on Goose, what is the history of the ring.

SIR GOOSE: That Hit tooke it that time when good King Bunny had it off and then Hit made it up to look like a comon ring and soled it to Mr Icthus-oress, but Icthus-oress did not know it was Bunny’s ring so you can not blame him, but why has all this fuss been made King Bunny could have got a new one which would have been as good.

SIR GOOSE: O I see.

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: But we will have to punich Hit for 2 things. I. – stealing Bunny’s ring. 2. – geting me in to trouble.

(Exit all but SIR GOOSE.)

SIR GOOSE: And now I’m all alone. I am not a natif of this country realy. I’m a spy and I have been spying all the time. Thats how I knew about the ring.

(Enter DORIMIE.)

DORIMIE: A man wants to speak to you so please you sir.

SIR GOOSE: But it dos not please me. What is his name?

DORIMIE: Hit.

SIR GOOSE: O let him come.

(Exit DORIMIE.)

SIR GOOSE: Ah now I’ve got him in my power. Him no less ho ho ho ha ha ha he he he hi hi hi. (goes and looks down a walk behind a bank) O now he [is] coming. Thats him is it not? (in a lowe voice) O come on Hit never to go back in freedom. (enter HIT) Hail good Hit.

HIT: Hail.

SIR GOOSE: Ah now you’ll walke off my prisoner. (Exit SIR GOOSE draging HIT. Curtain.)

Scene II: Cannon-Town. The Town Hall.

(Enter KING BUNNY, SIR PETER MOUSE, MR GOLD

FISH, SIR BIG, MR BLUE, SIR GOOSE and DORIMIE.)

KING BUNNY: Ah now I want to know if any one in this town hall can tell me the true history of my ring and whats still more importent give it back to me. But come I have been told that some one named Sir Goose knows it. Is he there?

SIR GOOSE: Yes here my lord.

KING BUNNY: Then tell us.

SIR GOOSE: Twas May 2nd in the year 1327 that (your Magasty came to the crown in the year 1310, 1st of March) Mr Hit stole your ring and in the same day soled it to Mr Icthus-oress but Icthus-oress did not know it was your ring, for Hit (old beast) had made it up to look like a comon ring.

KING BUNNY: I see, O but I don’t see my ring and I’d like to.

SIR GOOSE: All right then. I know who can give it back.

(Enter MR ICTHUS-ORESS and HIT.)

MR ICTHUS-ORESS: (gives ring) Theres the ring.

KING BUNNY: Gold Fish remove Hit.

(Exit GOLD FISH. Curtain.)

Scene III: Cannon-Town. The docks. A wharf at

the frith of the St Bumble. A boat. (On its back

SAILORS round it and a HARBOUR-MASTER.)

1ST SAILOR: A hoy.

2ND SAILOR: Who speaks?

1ST SAILOR: Me, Captain Tom’s first boatswain.

2ND SAILOR: In sooth.

HARBOUR-MASTER: Get to work now. Paint this boat.

(exit)

3RD SAILOR: (aside) O go and paint your nose. (Exit all. Flourish. Enter KING BUNNY, SIR PETER, MR MOUSE, GOLD FISH, SIR GOOSE, DORIMIE, MR ICTHUS-ORESS and 2 SAILORS guarding hit.)

KING BUNNY: Ah now we have got the old bar-man and whats beter still I have got my ring.

CHORUS OF VOICES: Hear hear.

KING BUNNY: O silence. And now I must say good by to Cannon-town, the town [of] my birth. Look hear Peter.

SIR PETER: Yes your Magasty.

KING BUNNY: Tell Sir Goose to tell Sir Big to tell Mr Gold Fish to tell Gollywog to tell Mr Icthus-oress to tell Dorimie to tell the sailors to take Hit away.

SIR PETER: Right sir.

(exit)

KING BUNNY: Now I think we must go back to Mouseland. Look the sun hath clove the earth in 2.¹ (Curtain.)

THE END