Читать книгу How to Dress a Fish - Abigail Chabitnoy - Страница 9

I

FOX HUNTINGⁱ

ⁱ Told by Stepan Prokopyev, Attu, August, 1909. Cylinders 25 and 26 (four minutes and forty-five seconds). Transcribed and translated into Eastern Aleut by Jochelson and Yachmenev with the help of Stepan Prokopyev, Umnak, 1910. Of the paired lines, the first is Attuan, the second Eastern Aleut. The written text differs in several spots from the cylinders. New York Public Library Manuscript 61.

ⁱⁱ Contamination (or copying mistake).

ⁱⁱⁱ Some words missing

FAMILY HISTORY

RECORD OF GRADUATES AND RETURNED STUDENTS

U.S. INDIAN SCHOOL, CARLISLE, PA.

NAME: Michael Chabitnoy

1. Are you married and if so to whom? Yes! To Lillian M. Zellers of Lebanon, Pa. [white]

2. What is your present address? Hershey, Pa

3. Where can I find you? Our aunt? Any relations?

4. What is your present occupation? Moulding chocolate

5. Tell [me] something of your present home. I have a nice home and has all conveniency in it.

6. What property in the way of land, stock, buildings, or money do you have? None.

7. What other positions have you held since leaving Carlisle? None

8. Why did you stay in Pennsylvania?

9. Why didn’t you stay with our aunt?

10. Tell me anything else of interest connected with your life:

11. Tell me anything:

FAMILY GHOSTS HISTORY

CARLISLE INDIAN INDUSTRIAL SCHOOL

DESCRIPTIVE AND HISTORICAL RECORD OF STUDENT

Degree of Indian Blood: Full

Well developed.

Normal.

Normal.

Normal.

Father. Dead. Yes. Traumatized.

Mother. Dead. Yes. Heart Trouble. (bad heart.)

Brother. Dead. I. Whooping Cough.

Sister. Dead. I.?

(Aunt.)

Titiani.

Unga,

Alaska.

Living.? Condition of Health.?

There wasn’t an aunt.

There wasn’t an aunt

until five years later. March 16, 1907.

(At which point)

Michael Chabitnoy.

Tribe, Alaskan. Tribe, Aleut. Agency, Baptist Orphanage, Wood Island.

(otherwise listed Michael Shepednoy. Nation, Alent.)

was readmitted.

Michael Chepednoy. Nation, Alent.

returned to school without permission. June 21, 1905.

Conduct. very good.

April 10, 1909.

Student. Michael Chabitnoy. Nation, Aleut.

went on an outing and did not return.

JULY 26, 2015 [written around a grocery list]

[Side 1]

[Side 2]

Cause of Death: traumatized (?)

SHEBUTNOY (trans. Salmon-fisher)

(Michael) Chabitnoy. Aleut.

1886–1920.

Because they were “of the water.”

Because they were given Russian names.

He was born with hushed words.

Because his mother had a bad heart and his father was traumatized.

They took him from the sea.

Because he came to the school charitably, before.

Because there is only one photo, after.

They told the skeptics, yes, it can be done.

Because it could be done.

Because “Indian Marries White Girl.”

Because he died of consumption.

There are words I can’t say.

Because he was survived by two sons.

Because they were called half-breed.

Because that second son took to drink.

I’ve always been afraid of the sea.

Because it doesn’t mean salmon-fisher.

Because I need to know I can say these words.

Because it means “mischievous, energetic.”

Mischievous men (and women) fish for salmon energetically.

Because he was an orphan.

Because in summer, my skin turns redder than my father’s.

Because they asked my mother, Is she adopted?

Because I too am of the water.

Because I hear these words.

I will split my bones and fit my skin to the sea.

I will shape my mouth to angle these words with the wind.

DISTANCE OF ARTICULATION

When letters are lost

I think of you, Michael, alone

on a train and dressed

as an ordinary parcel

an acceptable body 15 years old, crossing the whole of America.

(My father too has always been drawn to trains.)

Did you make it to Carlisle

with all your words?

with your real voice?

with all your teeth?

Four thousand, six hundred

twenty-one miles today

if by land. (not counting each wave between

Woods and the Fox Islands)

Three thousand thirty-four

if a Raven flies.

I’d like to believe you flew—

raptors, too, fish salmon. How do you think they got there? the fox,

I’d like to believe you flew

and when your young boy wings tired over Pennsylvania

and there was no more salmon

they caught you and fed you and asked you

for your name

and brought you home

where there were others

and brought you home

to listen.

In appearance, Chabitnoy’s claims of being a full blooded

Indian are fully substantiated. He is red and well built and

possesses a strikingly characteristic face,

like a fox.

Grandfather, great-grandfather,

with ears like that—

Did they f[h]ear you?

Boy, bear, bird? Shark? Fox? I can see something wild – Michael

– a body

poised to run. The only natural thing – is defiant

forward or back? – under scrutiny. What’s behind your back? What

was in you(r) hands?feathers, fur or teeth? – how soft the deer

mouth, low the ground wherein a grave meets the second born

how did we come hereMichaelwhere (do) we go?

Did your mouth grow soft with age Michael could you still chew

the kiimak – the little bones Can you hear them breaking down – You can’t

spit a fish in the water and expect it still

to swim—

I am afraid to put my face under

water afraid of filling these lungs

until the strain on my line

pulls me under

mouth open

What’s behind you(r back)?

OBSERVE THE INDIAN AS SUBJECT.

Another described the legacy as a blank space. A space that unlike a slate can not be written. A moth-eaten hole.

Native scholarsi call it a soul wound, but my book isn’t clear if these are Native American men (and women) who have become scholars, or white men with pipes and elbow patches who study Natives from armchairs. I used to adore them, the stories they’d tell. Did you ever feel such wind again, or did it move right through you? Was your coat already full of holes before you took your first step east?

ⁱ a wound is a wound is a mouth is a wound

I was trying to remember how to make salmon cakes for my parents.

I was trying to find other ways to make salmon, because I didn’t have the

right ingredients. I didn’t have access to the foods listed

in my Unangax cookbook. I didn’t know how to use the fish

in the traditional way—I didn’t think you could

throw the salmon back in the water, the bones,

I didn’t think they would swim again.

I’m thinking now it was a sign: the rest of the week I had bad dreams.

I threw away the salmon

spine perfect line

wide white eyes

scattered

in my meal

returned

Threw out meat

threw out egg

each pea-sized disturbance

In all the cans of fish

never so much never

so much—

I threw them in the waste pan

and spent the evening

looking

for other bones

I might have

missed

for nights

I dreamed of other bodies

escaping

and bad omens.

The earth was hollow

around my feet.

My feet were wading earth and

rotted branches. Limbs the size of human thigh

and twigs that could fit a small child

hand.

But no trees for them to have fallen

and soon I was buried to my waist and some of the branches

were curved like a bow – like ribs –

and some knotted evenly into a perfect spine

and the salt on the air was soured.

I mean, the stench became so bad

I had to leave the bodies where they lay.

ELOCUTION LESSONS

Grandfather is sitting in the kitchen with “all conveniency” in his cup.

Mother says these things skip a generation.

Q: Is it because “Indian” marries “white girl” produces “half-breed” shortly after “Indian” dies? Because only half the blood can hide, only half the bones come clean?

A: Where are you going with these?

Figures from the CDC are inexact. They’ve been imprecise in their correlations, and

There are a number of ways one might choose

to articulate the shape

dependent on distance between tongue

and how many teeth

I’m beginning to suspect their threats are crossed.

Leading causes of death:¹ Heart disease bad heart cancer unintentional injuries frequently following consumption of alcohol followed by diabetes chronic liver disease higher rate of binge drinking chronic lower respiratory disease stroke suicide social(?) pneumonia impaired judgment kidney disease … this is all just speculation of [a] course

What constitutes a bad heart?

What constitutes social consumption?

intent?

a threat?

Cause

of death: traumatized.

Q: Are you trying to relate to me?

Statistics are a soft science.

INSERT BLOOD REQUIREMENTS HERE.

[Disregard.]

“Not only in architecture, dress, and food did administrators and settlers try to maintain home standards but also in generating the statistical information that was deemed necessary by the national government.”

Considerable energy goes into constructing suitable records

that are in the end

inadequate.

“Given enough time, these things can be redressed.”

A: Yes, I am trying to relate to you—

Which of my bones are yours?

How about some extra ones for my back?

(My spine is prone to fracture. A body has needs

to know its limits.)

I think I’ve got the color down, except for my white sexed parts, my mother parts. These are unresponsive.

White is a nervous shade,

don’t you think?

So easy to spoil.

I’ve been wearing white since the wedding. There are some stains, as one might expect.

Red and yellow, black and white…

I am precious on my mother’s side.

“It is our generation’s turn. That is, it’s my turn, but

I don’t feel the need. That is, I don’t feel any real threat.”

Observations: Although health outcomes among AIs are improving, large disparities with other racial and ethnic groups in the United States remain. Many health-related problems are directly linked to high rates of substance use and abuse.

One mustn’t rush to find a cause until we know

all the facts are known.

It’s just—

the bones these social scientists keep digging up

remember where the blood escaped

there was blood in them

we buried—

I have inherited more skeletons than I can count. Such a weary weight to conquer this mass.

Q: Statistically speaking,

Must I be old?

Must I be traditional?

Must I be fair?

Fair skinned, fair haired, neatly squared²?

A: The question of blood lies out the body.

bodies

Guangkuta “Sugpianek” ap’rtaakiikut cuumi, nutaan ap’rtaaraakut Alutiit.

Can you put my apaq on the line? That is, my great- (in regarding distance) apaq on this line? It is important that I reach him, that I follow the right channels, a body

water will wash away

return me transparent to the sea.

On weekends I can be found in museums trying to find the right

face to wear in light of recovered records and evolving vocabulary.

I am thinking a shark but a shark like any other predator

looks as much man as monster the way

these bodies are

figured.

Results: Grandfather is crying, great-grandfather is crying. Where are they going, the children, and when // will they come back?

It means we-are-people.

Still, there’s a chance, mother says:

these things skip a generation.

¹ National Vital Statistics System, LCWK1_2013. Deaths, 15 leading causes of[,] death by race: United States, 2013, Page 100.

² That means, “the right box on a demographic form”

What if we were the fish?

“In appearance, Chabitnoy’s claims of being a full blooded Indian are fully substantiated.”

Today I learned I’m biracial. or mixed racial. ambiguously ethnic. I read it in a book, but I don’t feel comfortable with any of these. Genocide elementary by comparison. Anybody can be outraged at a wrongful death. But wrongful living? I was comforted by the half white, half Mexican boy glowing beside me. Everyone wants to see ghosts, in theory.

That is to say, I still don’t know how to fit this skin. I, too, am tall and well built and in summer possess a strikingly characteristic face. And if I only run a short distance, you can hardly tell the trouble with my back, the fragmented bone attached by gristle, or not, or floating just below the skin—

Did you make yourself wind to make up your size? – How else is a fish accustomed to keeping its feet on the ground? – Why did you come back? Did you forget which way the wind blowed?

“Among the many visitors here last Sunday was Michael Chabitnoy

who is working at Hershey, Pa., for the summer.

‘Mike’ is also trying out for the Hershey baseball team.”

Conduct: good

Why did you leave and then come back? Did you play with Jim Thorpe in school ‘Mike’? Did you eat pork and milk and green beans and butter? Did you live in the Athletes’ Quarters? Which tale are we in again Michael? Who gets to be of-the-water? Who gets to be people? above or below the sea –

Isn’t a shark just a fish after all?

It was winter. I was sweating. You and I were in a boat, going back to Unalaska and my body went cold to spite my discomfort. You can be wind. You can be feathers. You can be fur or fin and teeth. I am not even earth. Not even bone. But permafrost in a warming state. Cold, not cold enough. Porous. Full of holes. Not filled but

disappearing.