Читать книгу Marriage Miracle In Swallowbrook - Abigail Gordon - Страница 9

ON THE Sunday after Gabriel’s release from prison, Laura set off with the children for a picnic on an island in the middle of the lake. It was a quiet and peaceful place, uninhabited except for just one property—an attractive house built from lakeland stone and appropriately named Greystone House.

They had told her at the surgery that it belonged to Libby and Nathan Gallagher, that he had bought it for her as a wedding present, and she’d thought how romantic that was. It seemed that the two of them and their small son spent every weekend there.

This Sunday the two doctors were going to the wedding of a friend who lived down south and so there would be no one but her and the children on the island today.

Sophie and Josh were keen to explore everywhere and as it was small enough for her to keep them in view all the time, she was happy to let them wander where they wanted as long as they didn’t trespass on land belonging to the house.

Once they were happily occupied she set out the picnic for when they would be ready to eat, and then opening up the folding chair that she had brought with her settled herself on it and let her thoughts take over.

It hurt that Gabriel hadn’t rushed straight up here to see the children at least, though he obviously had no interest in rebuilding their marriage.

She often thought that if she hadn’t gone to the hospital as his patient that day, he wouldn’t have come home so early, and when Jeremy had taken advantage of her distress, she would have sent him packing without Gabriel knowing anything about it and it would have been the end of the incident.

But Gabriel’s timing had been all wrong and so had Jeremy’s for that matter. They had all paid a high price for what had happened in the moment when his self-control had snapped. She could hear the engines of another passenger launch approaching and she sighed. It had stopped, and the peace she craved would be gone if others had the same thought in mind that she’d had.

Calling Sophie and Josh to her, she began to pour the cold drinks that she’d brought and almost dropped the flask when a shadow fell across her and the children came to a halt as if they’d seen a ghost.

She turned slowly with a tingling down her spine and when she looked up Gabriel was there, observing her gravely, and it was as if the four of them had been turned to stone, until Sophie broke the silence by crying ‘Daddy!’ and began running towards him, with Josh not far behind. As he scooped them up into his arms Laura saw the wetness of tears on his cheeks and thought achingly that this was a moment that none of them should ever have had to endure, but it had been thrust upon them. Where did they go from here?

Desperate to get away from the place where her life had been shattered, she’d spent the time that Gabriel had been away from her and the children picking up the pieces by moving to a new home in a beautiful Lakeland paradise, and although it had only been half a life without him there, she’d coped and would continue to do so whatever the outcome of his coming back to them.

When the children had calmed down after lots of hugs and kisses and were tucking into the food, she asked in a low voice, ‘How did you know where to find us?’

‘I didn’t. I was parking the car by the lakeside when I saw the three of you in the distance boarding one of the launches, but it had sailed by the time I got there. I asked the girl in the ticket office if she knew where you were bound for. She said the island, so I caught the next boat.’

‘I see. So you decided to come earlier?’

‘Yes, but I’m not staying.’

‘Oh, fine!’ she said coolly. ‘The children won’t like that! Don’t you think they’ve waited long enough to be with you?’

‘Yes, I do, but, Laura, my life has been on hold for long enough. I have things to sort out at the hospital, matters that have accumulated while I’ve been in prison. I want the way ahead to be clear with regard to my career, so that I know my position, what I’m doing.’

The hurt inside her was beyond bearing as she listened to what he was saying and it came forth in anger as she said tightly, ‘So nothing changes Gabriel? It’s still career first and family second.’ She glanced at the children, who were out of earshot. ‘Well, don’t let us stop you. Do dash off to wherever it is you prefer to be.’

‘Would it be all right to stay the night?’ he asked, with no answer forthcoming to her protest.

‘You shouldn’t need to ask!’

The vestige of a smile was tugging at the corners of the mouth that had kissed her a thousand times in what seemed like another life.

‘All right, then,’ he said, adding with grim humour, ‘Just as long as the sheets are of Egyptian cotton. My bedding of recent months has hardly been luxurious, and if the house has a spare room, that will do fine’

She turned away. How could he joke about something like that and at the same time make it clear that he didn’t want to sleep with her? With a change of subject she pointed to the food and said stiffly, ‘There is plenty to eat. What would you like to drink?’

As he squatted down on the grass, with the children chattering one on either side, it seemed so normal that she could hardly believe that for what had seemed like for ever the only man she had ever loved had been serving a custodial sentence for grievous bodily harm because of what had been the worst day of her life.

‘I hope you’ll like the house,’ she said uncomfortably when they arrived at Swallows Barn with the children still on a high, having been driven home in Gabriel’s car.

‘If you are happy with it, that is all that matters,’ he said levelly.

Sophie urged, ‘Come and see my room, Daddy!’

‘And mine!’ Josh said, and as the three of them went upstairs together Laura thought that Gabriel could tell the children that he wasn’t staying. She wasn’t going to be responsible for causing them any upset.

When they were asleep after receiving a promise from their father that he would take them to school the next morning, an awkward silence fell upon the house until it was broken by Gabriel asking casually, ‘So what is the medical centre like in this place, Laura?’

Was that all he could talk about, health care? But she answered civilly enough, explaining who was who and outlining her responsibilities.

They’d passed the practice on the way home and he’d noticed that a new building was being erected on the large plot of land next to it and had wanted to know what it was going to be.

‘It is going to be a clinic that will be an offshoot of the main oncology unit at the local hospital,’ she told him. ‘All the staff at the surgery are very excited about it.’

‘Hmm, impressive forward thinking,’ he commented. ‘When is it due to open?’

‘Some time in the autumn if all goes according to plan.’

But she had questions of her own to ask and they weren’t about health care. It was the first time she’d had the opportunity to ask him what it had been like being shut away from his life’s work at the hospital and his family, and was hoping that his reply would give her some degree of understanding of the stranger that he had become.

‘So what was it like in there?’ she asked gently, and watched his face close up.

‘It was a piece of cake.’

‘I’m not asking for mockery,’ she told him. ‘I want the truth.’

It had been hell on earth being away from them, but he had brought it on himself. He must have been insane to think that Laura would have anything to do with the low life from next door, but seeing that creep with his arms around her had ignited a fury like he’d never known. Perhaps in hindsight his uncharacteristic behaviour had been amplified by his feelings of guilt over neglecting Laura.

He’d flung himself at the man like a coiled spring and since that moment life had been totally unreal, but Laura was waiting for an answer and so, referring to the lighter side of his sentence, he said, ‘I worked in the prison hospital for most of the time, which provided some degree of job satisfaction, and had a constant stream of inmates queuing up outside my cell for advice regarding their health problems, true or imaginary, but the nights were long.’

How long he couldn’t bear to tell her, with visions of her coping with the children on her own, and in the middle of it all moving house, which showed clearly that by the time he was released she wanted to have made a new life for herself.

There had been indications that Laura wanted him to join her and the children in their new home, but he didn’t want to rush into anything. Things had been going wrong between them even before that terrible incident. There was no way he could sidle back into her life without having something to offer in the form of trust and understanding, and the reason for him returning to London the following day was connected with that.

‘And the rest of it?’ she persisted.

‘Not good in parts, but I had a debt to repay, didn’t I, Laura? And now I can get on with my life knowing that ghastly episode is over, that Saunders is fully recovered, and that you and the children are all right.’

‘And that is it?’

No, it isn’t, he wanted to tell her. When you came to see me as a patient I had to accept that I wasn’t being fair to you. That I was guilty of gross neglect, and shortly afterwards I found myself believing that you were betraying me with that guy of all people, that you’d turned to him for comfort. I should have known better, of course, but I wasn’t thinking straight at the time.

Instead he said, ‘For the present, yes. I’ll keep in touch of course and if you need me for anything don’t be afraid to ask.’ He looked around him. ‘Though you seem to be managing very well without me.

‘I sussed out the spare room while I was upstairs, so will get my case out of the car and settle down for the night if that’s all right with you.’

‘Don’t you want a meal first?’ she asked woodenly, bringing her mind back to basics, and when he shook his head a deadly calm began to settle upon her as the impact of his ‘don’t be afraid to ask’ comment took hold.

In a measured tone she said, ‘Just a moment before you go. You said if there is anything I need from you I have only to ask?’

He was observing her questioningly. ‘Yes, I did. So is there something?’

‘Yes. I want a divorce.’

She watched his jaw drop and amazement darken the hazel eyes looking into hers, and then he said in a grating voice that was nothing like his usual upbeat tone, ‘So I was wrong. Am I still going to be paying for what I did?’

‘And you think I’m not?’ she said, doing her best to keep all emotion out of her voice. She could be just as coldly analytical as Gabriel if that was how he wanted things. ‘I wanted you home, but not on the terms you’re laying down in such a patronising manner. I’ve been living for the day when you were free of that place. But it seems that while you’ve had time on your hands you’ve been making plans that don’t include me, which makes me think that you still aren’t sure about how you found me in somebody else’s arms, so, yes, Gabriel, I want a divorce!’

The strong lines of his face were set like granite as he turned and went out to the car without any further comment and when he came back inside she said, ‘Breakfast will be ready at eight o’clock and if you still intend taking the children to school, they have to be there for quarter to nine.’

‘Of course I’m going to take them,’ he said levelly. ‘I’ve never let them down!’ Like I have you, the voice of conscience said.

Gabriel couldn’t sleep. Twice he padded quietly to where the children were sleeping and gazed down on them tenderly, but the door of the master bedroom across the landing remained firmly shut. He had made everything worse between Laura and himself by not telling her what was in his mind. But first he had to speak to his friend James Lockyer, chairman of the board of governors at the hospital where he’d worked.

Jenny kept phoning to say how much they were all looking forward to his return, but she had no say in the matter, neither had those who had worked alongside him, and nor had he. So he wanted to get from James the full picture of what came next to put in front of Laura when he returned to the house where he’d felt like a visitor.

It had been at his suggestion that he’d slept in the spare room, not hers. Had she wanted him back in her bed?

But, no, how could she? Only hours before she’d asked him for a divorce. He’d been totally stunned at her request and was praying that it had been a spur-of-the-moment thing that she would change her mind about.

Breakfast was a stilted affair with only the children’s chatter to liven it up and when the three of them were ready for the short walk to the village school Laura told him, ‘I’ll be ready to go to the practice soon. What time do you intend leaving?’

‘As soon as I’ve seen the children safely inside I’ll be back for the car. I need to be in London before three o’clock.’

‘I’ll hang on, then, so that I can lock up once you’ve gone,’ she told him

‘Whatever,’ he agreed absently as his glance took in the vision she presented in a smart navy suit and white blouse with matching navy footwear, and the fair swathe of her hair swept back into a neat coil. She was so fantastic, he thought achingly. How could he have been so careless with the love they’d had for each other?

The children were tugging at him, with Sophie anxious to show off her father to her friends, and dressed in their neat school uniforms of gold and green and each carrying a small satchel they placed themselves one on either side of him and the trio disappeared in the direction of the village school.

When Gabriel came striding back half an hour later she was standing at the gate, waiting for him, and it felt like a dream. She’d imagined this moment so often, him walking towards her in sunshine, back where he belonged, and now that the time had come it was like groping through fog.

‘Have you got everything?’ she asked weakly as the shock waves of his nearness washed over her.

He nodded, and after locking up she waited to see what he would do next. Would he just drive off with a brief goodbye after her announcement of the previous night, she wondered, or give her a formal peck on the cheek?

As he bent towards her it seemed as if that was what it was going to be, but not so. His arms reached out to encircle her, his mouth was on hers and he kissed her long and lingeringly before letting her go, then without a word having passed between them he got into the car and drove off in the direction of the motorway that ran past the village.

She put her hand to her mouth. It was the first time he had touched her in any shape or form since that awful day, and she thought despairingly that she’d had to mention divorce for him to show any signs of still wanting her.

Yet he had gone for reasons best known to himself without any mention of when he would see her again. How was she supposed to feel? For now she chose to put her hurt and anger to one side and she set off for another day at the Swallowbrook Medical Practice.

On arriving, she went straight to her office on the lower ground floor and so didn’t see Nathan arrive dumbstruck after taking Toby to school.

‘I’ve just seen some guy seeing Laura’s children into school,’ he told Libby. ‘It would seem that the missing father has turned up!’

‘Really!’ she exclaimed. ‘What was he like?’

‘That’s just it!’ he told her with amazement unabated. ‘What are they called?’

‘Er, Sophie and Joshua?’

‘No! I mean their surname. It’s Armitage, isn’t it?’

‘Yes. Why?’

‘It was Gabriel Armitage, the cancer specialist, with Sophie and Josh. I’ve seen his face often enough in medical journals to recognise him. I had no idea that they were connected.’

With her amazement on a level with his she said, ‘I recall he hit the headlines a few months back but can’t remember what it was about, but it’s good to know that Laura has a husband in her life to help her with the children, and cherish her like you do me,’ she said softly, with the memory of long years of loving the man by her side without any signs from him, until one wonderful day he had returned to Swallowbrook and swept her off her feet.

‘I don’t think we should say anything to Laura,’ she advised. ‘Let her tell us about the man in her life in her own time.’

‘Sure,’ Nathan agreed, with his mind already switched on to the busy day ahead.

As Gabriel approached the hospital that he hadn’t seen for many long months, James Lockyer, head of the board of governors, was pacing the boardroom. He was one of the oncologist’s closest friends and had been devastated when Gabriel had been sent to prison for the last thing he would have expected him to be guilty of, but he had known the number of hours his friend had put in on the cancer unit with dedicated zeal and it would seem that he’d finally cracked.

When he’d phoned to ask to see him that afternoon James had thought that the hour of reckoning was going to come for Gabriel a second time, but from a different source—the hospital—which meant that his career could be in jeopardy, even though what had happened on that never-to-be-forgotten day had only been connected with his work from a stress point of view.

During all the time Gabriel had been head of oncology there had never been even a second when his expertise and judgement had been questioned, and now because of a split second of anger James was going to have to set the wheels turning that would bring his friend before the hospital board, who would decide whether he should be allowed to continue practising there.

The incident with his next-door neighbour would most likely have passed without notice if the other guy hadn’t cracked his head on the fireplace with disastrous results as he’d fallen backwards, and from that had come the court’s decision to award a prison sentence.

As the two men shook hands James was aware of the change in his friend. Gabriel had always been a man with a strong sense of purpose. Being shut away hadn’t altered that, but there was a grimness about him that had never been there before and as they discussed his future the reason for it became apparent.

‘You know that we want you back here as soon as possible, don’t you Gabriel?’ James said, ‘But the wheels of hospital protocol turn slowly and I will have to instigate the usual procedures with regard to the hierarchy coming up with a decision as to whether you should be allowed to continue working here.

‘I know how much your work means to you and will move heaven and earth to get you back with us, but I will be only one voice amongst others when the meeting takes place.’

‘I understand all of that,’ Gabriel told him, ‘and will face the music when summoned, but, James, whatever the result it won’t make all that much difference to my future plans. I’m giving up medicine and moving to the countryside to be with Laura and the children.

‘While I’ve been away she has moved to a charming lakeside village and I intend to move there to be with my family. It was my neglect of her, due to the job, that started it all, and there is not going to be any more of that. Let me know when the “firing squad” wants me up before them and I will be there, otherwise I shall be involved in rural life.’

‘I can’t believe what you’re saying!’ James exclaimed. ‘You are the best we’ve ever had and we won’t be able to exist without your work.’

‘I don’t know about that,’ he told him, ‘but one thing I do know. I can’t exist without Laura … and she’s just told me that she wants a divorce.’

‘Ah, now I understand.’ James nodded sombrely. ‘But do let the wheels turn with regard to you being allowed to return to medicine one day. You might change your mind at some time in the future when you’ve put things right with her.’

‘I doubt that will happen. It could be the same thing all over again if I do.’ Gabriel rose from his chair. ‘I’ll leave you my phone number so that you can get in touch when I’m needed to face the board. And, James, it’s been great to see you.

‘I’m going to have a quick word with my team before I go. Jenny, my secretary, and no doubt the rest of them think I’m going to be able to take up where I left off here just like that, so I owe it to them to explain and say goodbye.’

‘Yes,’ James agreed, ‘but it will be a sad day for this place.’

‘No one is indispensable. There will be others to come with the same skills as mine. For all I know, they might have already appeared,’ he told him, and went to carry out the next painful thing that he had to do, say hello and goodbye to those he’d worked with.

When he arrived back at the town house in the smart London square Gabriel sat staring into space. If someone had told him a year ago that he would calmly give up practising medicine with no other kind of job prospects in view, he would have laughed in their face.

But the fact of it was that he’d had to make a choice, his career or his family, in particular his wife, and he knew that he could just about exist without the one, but not without the other.

He was going to phone Laura, as he’d promised, but later when the children were in bed and when she knew what he’d said to James, maybe she would change her mind about wanting a divorce.

The children were asleep and the house was still around her as Laura thought about the day that had started with Gabriel actually being around to take the children to school, then going back to London as swiftly as he had come.

He was always happiest there for the very good reason that it was where the hospital was, the huge, redbrick magnet that could always attract him away from her and the children and would soon be casting its spell over him again if he was allowed to continue practising there after what had happened.

Where was Gabriel now, she wondered, celebrating his freedom somewhere with James, or in a bar with the members of his team? She wouldn’t blame him for doing either of those things. He’d been shut away from reality and needed to get back to it.

Though wasn’t his idea of reality to see a patient cured, or at the least provide more time for them to enjoy what quality of life he was able to give them?

When the phone rang she was there in an instant, heart beating faster, nerves stretching, but it was Nathan’s voice coming over the line to say that the doctors would like to get together with her to discuss some refurbishment of the surgery premises and would she arrange a meeting to that effect?

It rang again shortly afterwards, once again breaking into the silence of the house, and this time it was the voice she wanted to hear.

‘I’ve been to see James to find out what happens now with regard to my position at the hospital.’ Gabriel said, bypassing small talk in order to get to the news he hoped Laura wanted to hear. ‘He says there will be a meeting shortly to discuss it, and that in view of my stay in HMP he won’t be able to guarantee them agreeing to me taking up where I left off.

‘All of which is no surprise, and until I hear more about it from him I will be returning to Swallowbrook some time tomorrow if that is all right with you.’

‘Yes, of course,’ she told him unsteadily, after trying to take in what he’d been saying. They’d both known that the sentence Gabriel had served could affect his career, but he was in much demand medically, and James would not want to lose him as one of the hospital’s top consultants.

When he’d rung off she spent the rest of the evening in a state of acute anxiety. His career was Gabriel’s life, she thought desperately.

If he couldn’t treat the sick he would be devastated, yet he’d sounded calm enough at the prospect. But she wasn’t. His job might cost them their marriage if he was allowed to go back to it, yet she couldn’t bear the thought of him being separated from it. And what did he mean by announcing his intention to join her and the children here? It was as if their earlier conversation had never happened; he still hadn’t responded to her request for a divorce.

The night that followed was not one of peaceful sleep. She tossed and turned and eventually went into the kitchen to make a drink at four o’clock as a midsummer dawn was beginning to lighten the sky, and as she gazed unseeingly to where the lake shimmered on the skyline the thought came that if Gabriel was given the chance to go back to his life’s work, a divorce might be the only answer. It would leave him free to follow his calling without his responsibilities to her and the children weighing him down.

She’d told him it was what she wanted in the middle of a hurtful moment, not really meaning it, but maybe in the long run it would be the best thing for all of them if she could endure the agony of a permanent separation. The one that she’d just lived through, if living was the right word to describe it, had been hard enough to cope with, and that had been only for a matter of months.