Читать книгу The Grass-Root Friend - Abiotona Alu Sukubo - Страница 4

A friend is a person well known and regarded with affection and trust. This is someone who you really love naturally with all your heart not for negative reasons but for positive reasons. Of cause, there is a reason for loving another person which is a common factor in man’s nature. Reason has always been the justification for planning, actions, implementations and subsequent success to achieve our dreams and desires in life.Thus, there is a reason for loving but the question is ‘Is the reason natural or not’?

Here, I want you to believe that any reason for loving another man which is positive and in line with the principles and standards of God almighty is a natural reason. Remember, the simple reason why God loves us is to look down on our sins, draw us closer to Himself and to re-establish the father-to-children relationship with us. As it was in the beginning, God created man in His image after His likeness which is natural because God is Nature. Sometimes we hear people saying ‘ I don’t know why I love him but I love him more than I love myself ‘ This is an example of natural love because the reason for loving in this case is natural; a mystery, unknown to the Lover which he or she cannot control) because it was initiated by God. Such loving friends are closer to you than the ones you value most. They can sacrifice all they have just to see you happy. These kind of friends have unique character and life style such as: they rebuke you instantly for any wrong doings against them or other people, they only give you advises that will help you positively in life, they shapen your lifestyle to fit into your future, they ensure your growth both spiritually and physically, they will see that no oppression comes you and would not see you oppress others and so on. They do all of these because they have true love for you.

One may think or feel that such a friend hates you at the moment but in the end, you will come to appreciate their good works in life. Our life’s testimonies will be full of mentioning such friends. Such friends could be your parents, siblings, close relatives, town’s person or stranger but they must fit into the conditions of a true friend in your life. I want to state here that a true friend is better than a family member as will be seen in the next chapters. It is now very important to take a look at love and the rolls it plays in our relationship.

Definition: Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection (noun) or Have a great affection or liking for (verb). Morally: Love is the strongest force of attraction that can ever exist naturally between two persons or group of persons; with God as its epitome. This confirms the scripture that states ‘God is love’. There are different types of love but in this book we will categorize them into four major types:

According to philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle, there are a few Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used. Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which these words were generally used are given below:

Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means "love," such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you." In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape was used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God.

Éros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "Without physical attraction." In the Symposium, the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has Socrates argue that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal "Form" of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire -- thus suggesting that even that sensually-based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through the means of eros.

Philia (φιλία philía) means affectionate regard or friendship in both ancient and modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.

Storge (στοργή storgē) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.

The level of love in a relationship clearly defines such relationship to the parties involved and any third party witnessing it closely or from a far. The level of responsibility in a relationship is also determined by the amount of love in that relationship. Thus in all relationship there are different levels of commitment that are defined based on the type of love involved and we therefore see friendship as a kind of relationship defined by the type of love and the level of responsibility involved.

Friendship is the state of being friends or friendly with a person endeared to you. Let me reiterate my point here that this friendship can come from anyone irrespective of their personality in the society, importance placed on them and what they are. A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (Proverbs 17:17). Friendship is built on love which in turn brings forth trust, honesty, loyalty, sincerity and vigilance.

Now that we have seen the different types of love, we can now ask ourselves this question ‘What kind of love is my friendship built on?’ is it philia or eros? Definitely not agape which only God can give. That is to say if you know the best kind of love you want, it will guide and direct you to find your true friend who is the Grass-root friend. As we go through the next chapters we shall know how to identify the Grass-root friend wherever we go because no matter what, they will never let go irrespective of how hard, bad and heartless you tread them.

Useful Tips for You:

Having knowledge of a subject matter is not enough. As you will still need a revelation (divine wisdom) on how and when to apply that knowledge in life else that knowledge is just a piece of information that is useless. This revelation only comes from God who establishes Himself through revelation. And until you have such encounter with God, you can never have wisdom to live your life right.

Abiotona Alu Sukubo