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“Are you a Chimney Sweep?”

The title which the Prior of Mariastern gave to a brochure he wrote in 1874 immediately caught the public eye. A modern journalist could not have done better. Fr. Franz tells us how he chanced upon it. In the Convent Lane in Agram he had been asked by an elderly gentleman “with the collar of his coat upturned and probably a member of the liberal camp”: “Are you a chimney sweep?” – “No, not exactly!” he had replied. “Why ask?” Stuck for an answer, the other had stuttered in broken Croatian: “I not know what think of your black cap!” Amused, Fr. Franz had told him who he was: a Trappist vowed to perpetual silence.

The question the man in the lane had asked followed him. Wouldn’t it make an excellent title for an article on religious vocations particularly the vocation of a Trappist? Spontaneous as he was, he sat down to put his thoughts to paper and published them in a brochure. Timotheus Kempf CMM comments on it: “It is spiced with biting scorn for the liberal spirit of the time”. Perhaps it is. Fact is that its wit and humor – often at the expense of the Trappists themselves – attracted a lot of readers. A Trappist, for example, is described as one “who loves trapping” or, in a slightly more serious vein, “a creature who, though endowed with normal reasoning power and free will, prefers to inhabit woods, gorges and solitudes. He is like the donkey, working hard for a frugal fare and, as Scripture says: thinking a lot but speaking little.”

The author describes St. Bernard as one who entered religious life in order to find God. He founded no less than sixty-nine monasteries in solitary places and filled them with men who wished to live as he himself did. But when discipline among his Cistercians deteriorated, a second Bernard arose in the person of Armand Jean le Bouthillier de Rancé (1626 – 1700), who “two hundred years ago taught his followers to go back to the original lifestyle of the Cistercians by acting foolishly according to the standards of the world, shunning human company and observing perpetual silence. And because this happened in some godforsaken corner in France which was called ‘La Trappe’, all those dumb monks, whom the world considers lunatics, were called Trappists.”

Trappists, the Prior explained, were vowed to asceticism, something people found hard to comprehend. Because they could not grasp the sense of such a life they made fun of it, saying that fasting made dull and silence, grumpy; that drinking little caused lice and saying long prayers was good only for screws. Such objections, however, were not to be taken seriously:

“The Trappist earns his bread by the sweat of his brow as the world expects it of religious. But without asking anyone’s permission a Trappist also takes the liberty to offer his sour sweat to God for his own salvation and that of his friends and benefactors, including those who flagrantly go astray in the world. … Silence serves a material as well as a moral purpose. Or why do factory owners forbid their employees to talk during working hours? To make them work harder, don’t they? It is well known, that one who talks much, works less. Moreover, silence keeps one from committing many sins such as slander, libel, giving false witness, lying, cursing, blaspheming, cracking dirty jokes, speaking ill of religion, etc … – However, to observe silence is not their prime purpose. Their main aim is ratherto attain, even in this life, the bliss which the saints in heaven is enjoy: intimate union with God. Or how does anyone who chatters nonstop hear the voice of God speaking in his heart?”

Who is fit for the Monastery?

Prior Francis believed that, with very few exceptions, everyone qualified to become a monk, if only he was determined to be a good one. Exceptions were men who were very clearly not “cut out for it” and others who did not meet the criteria which, as we shall see, he laid down in inimitable fashion. Such men should rather remain “in the world”.

The Prior’s list of eligible candidates is long and, arranged in alphabetical order as in the German original, quite whimsical.

“Who may apply?

1 Young men, from fourteen years up. Nota Bene: Contrary to Croatian opinion, that Trappists put the cowl only on criminals and convicts, these include innocents.

2 Old greybeards: they make a fine view, especially next to milksop novices. The sight of a silver-haired old man following on the heels of a callow youth with childlike simplicity is truly touching.

3 Artisans: these are most welcome because we make everything ourselves and also share our skills with others.

4 Unskilled workers, including most priests: in the monastery they serve like ordinary domestics on a daily basis and for fixed periods of time.

5 Students and academics: that they may finally put their books aside.

6 Unlearned and ignorant people: that they may be taught never again to dream of studying or appearing learned but stick to their knitting.

7 Unsuccessful students: because in a monastery where no one leads these dissolute fellows astray they may still become disciplined members of the human race.

8 Good students: if their aim is to become Trappists, but not necessarily priests.

9 Poor people: that in the company of equals they may become more content.

10 Rich candidates: we do not disdain these, for they may help us build up our monasteries and support our orphanages, if perchance they do not give away their possessions before they entered.

11 Strong men: that they may give a hand with hard manual labour.

12 Weak men: they are quite useful for sweeping the house and watching the geese.

13 Deformed and handicapped men, including those whom Jesus finds along highways and byways: for they are also invited to the great banquet.

14 One-eyed men: Jesus says that it is better to lose an eye and save one’s life than be lost with both eyes intact.

15 Greyed sinners and young villains. If they honestly wish to do penance, such people look rather nice next to innocent monks. According to the Lord’s command they must take the place of those who were invited first but rather than come to the Banquet, preferred to get themselves a wife, a farm or five yoke of oxen.

16 Simple priests, ranging from the most ignorant Gaitapper20 or country parson, to the smart secretary in an episcopal palace. Since ‘enlightened mankind’ no longer believes in the need for priests, these can give up their positions with good conscience and throw in their lot with unknown Trappists.

17 Parish priests: we have good use for their pastoral experience.

18 Professors and Doctors of Theology, particularly if such doctors have majored in Islamic Studies. If only we had such a professor among us in Mariastern!

19 Village schoolteachers: in Bosnia they can achieve much more than their most erudite counterparts in the world who must work under the restrictions imposed on them by confessional boundaries.

20 Even prelates are welcome, provided they are not very rich: because cathedral canons who are used to a handsome salary find the monastic rule too difficult to grasp.

21 Liberal officials, if they are truly liberal: for in the monastery, where life is centralized and equalized, they will enjoy equality to their heart’s content.

22 We clothe farmers, beggars and soldiers with the same cowl. Ministers and civil servants receive the same titles and the same soup, with only one exception: We do not admit upright, authentic Catholic officials, be they secretaries of state or government ministers, because society is already short of such.

23 Gagmen, jesters and comedians: that the monastery may cure them once and for all of the habit of playing pranks and tricks on others.

24 Phlegmatic people: if they remained in the world, they might even be late for heaven when their time comes to die.

25 Choleric and fiery temperaments: that their fire may be controlled in the monastery and given a proper direction, for then they may become the most successful Trappists.

26 Sanguine types, but these we admit only with much reluctance: because they do not normally persevere.

Nota Bene: We do not accept melancholic candidates. Why not? One who hangs his head in sinister thoughts will not stay with us even for one week. Trappists are a merry lot.

In closing, I might also mention a miscellany of individuals who, as in a parade or procession, run behind those I have already listed. These include soldiers, invalids, stray travelling journeymen, widowers whose children are self-supporting, ruined innkeepers, hated tax collectors, dismissed ministers and rabble like these – without number or name, and without a passport, sine fine dicentes [world without end]. They too may join us, for Matthew says in Chapter 11 of his gospel, that the narrow path – of penance! – is closed to no one who wishes to go to heaven. Jesus says to all of us: ‘Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened and I will give you rest.’

These, then, are candidates fit for a Trappist monastery. God does not exclude anyone from his love who takes his hand and allows God’s all-powerful grace to draw him to heaven.”

According to Fr. Francis, even a farmer’s boy with no knowledge of Latin but a good voice could, after a while, be ordained a priest. It was also possible for a skilful artisan or capable priest to work in the monastery or in the parish ministry, but neither the artisan nor the priest would be admitted if they made such deployment the condition for entering.

Prior Francis was convinced that “every lay Brother preaches the Good News by his witness of silence, simplicity, prayer, fasting, modesty and contentment”. He reminded serious candidates that “Trappists prayed much for sinners, atheists and scoffers, so that these might have a change of heart. A candidate, who recognized the grace he was given to become a Trappist, did more good than one who donated a thousand ducats. But he should also realize that ultimately he chose that life for the good of his soul and not for the good of the monastery: “He does not do us a favour by joining us; rather God does him a favour by accepting him.”

German-speaking readers had probably never read anything quite as frank or straightforward about the Trappist vocation as this brochure. No wonder that “Are you a Chimney Sweep?” got snapped up like hotcakes”, its wit and humour becoming the talk of the day. Even Count Andrassy in Vienna felt that the title by which he had once called the monk from Vorarlberg fitted him like no other: he was “a bouncer”!