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I’m Adam Wallace. You can call me Wally.

Where am I? Here I am!!!

In two of my previous books, Better Out Than In and Better Out Than In Number Twos, I included an author’s note, a warning if you will.

Look, to be honest, it was just me rambling on about anything that popped into my head, and now there is a whole book of this random stuff!

Which means, ‘Oh My God’. It doesn’t mean, as I initially thought, ‘Old Men Giggled’. And LOL doesn’t mean ‘Lots Of Love’! I found that out when someone died and I wrote to their wife and said,

“I hear that your husband died. I’m sorry. LOL.”

It didn’t go down too well.

Anyway, like I said, this is a book. I thought I’d let you know, because if you thought it was something to play tennis with, you would not win one single game using this book as a racquet.

No, this book is for reading, and it makes me so happy that you’ve chosen to read it.

It’s pretty random at some points. At other points it’s not random at all. Some bits are sort of random but not really.

I don’t know why I said all that ... I basically just described life.

Let us continue.

Inside this book are pages, and on these pages are my thoughts. There are ramblings and ideas, lists and fears, rhymes and stories, and past and present glories.

There are actually no recipes in this book that contain rice.

There are no recipes containing tofu, apples, or monkey butts either.

Oh, except for the roast monkey butt with tofu and apples.

That has all those things plus parsley.

So then.

Anyways.

I hope you enjoy reading this collection.

It was fun writing it.