Читать книгу OCD and Me - Adrian McCarthy - Страница 6
ОглавлениеJacob
On the first day of filming, we were immediately confronted by the nonsensical but very serious effects of the disorder. We met Jacob, an artist who has Contact Contamination OCD, a symptom of which is an overwhelming feeling of distress when one comes into physical contact with objects, individuals or substances perceived as ‘contaminants’. He agreed to share his story with us, as long as we observed his strict no-touch rule.
Asked how he felt about letting us in to his living space, he admitted, “It’s difficult,” noting the size of our film equipment. “I mean, obviously, with the boom, the bags, it’s going to be hard to get through that without even touching anything. This is my safe zone.”
We were among a very small number of people that Jacob had allowed through the gate to his apartment, an invitation he seemed to be beginning to regret. When opening doors for us, he reached for the least-touched corner, farthest from the actual doorknob. Maintaining an affable smile, he was clearly on edge. “Well, I’m going to have to clean stuff anyway. That is, we’ve already failed.” Resignation gave way to impatience. “If you touch anything in here, I will probably get a little bit angry.”
We made it through the doors to the lobby of his apartment building before he abandoned the plan. “Sorry . . . I’m sorry, I can’t, I can’t take you up the stairs. I am angsty right now.”
Jacob explained further. “I won’t touch this or this now. I won’t touch this, and I won’t touch that,” he said, pointing to the railings and stairs outside the doors, while gingerly stepping around our recent footprints. “You guys are OCD dirty. Later, if I’m leaving my apartment, it could be six months down the line, and I accidentally touch the place where I know you’ve touched, I’ll be like, ‘Oh, sh*t, I accidentally touched that thing.’ It will make me feel dirty and ruin the rest of my day.”