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Dumb Witness
CHAPTER 5. Hercule Poirot Receives a Letter

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The events which I have just narrated were not, of course, known to me until a long time afterwards. But by questioning various members of the family in detail, I have, I think, set them down[85] accurately enough.

Poirot and I were only drawn into[86] the affair when we received Miss Arundell’s letter.

I remember the day well. It was a hot, airless morning towards the end of June.

Poirot had a particular routine when opening his morning correspondence. He picked up each letter, scrutinized it carefully and neatly slit the envelope open[87] with his paper-cutter[88]. Its contents were perused and then placed in one of four piles beyond the chocolate-pot. (Poirot always drank chocolate for breakfast—a revolting habit.) All this with a machine-like regularity!

So much was this the case that the least interruption of the rhythm attracted one’s attention.

I was sitting by the window, looking out at the passing traffic. I had recently returned from the Argentine and there was something particularly exciting to me in being once more in the roar of London.

Turning my head, I said with a smile:

‘Poirot, I—the humble Watson—am going to hazard a deduction.’

‘Enchanted, my friend. What is it?’

I struck an attitude[89] and said pompously:

‘You have received this morning one letter of particular interest!’

‘You are indeed the Sherlock Holmes! Yes, you are perfectly right.’

I laughed.

‘You see, I know your methods, Poirot. If you read a letter through twice it must mean that it is of special interest.’

‘You shall judge for yourself[90], Hastings.’

With a smile my friend tendered me the letter in question.

I took it with no little interest, but immediately made a slight grimace. It was written in one of those old-fashioned spidery handwritings, and it was, moreover, crossed on two pages.

‘Must I read this, Poirot?’ I complained.

‘Ah, no, there is no compulsion. Assuredly not.’

‘Can’t you tell me what it says?’

‘I would prefer you to form your own judgement. But do not trouble if it bores you.’

‘No, no, I want to know what it’s all about,’ I protested.

My friend remarked drily:

‘You can hardly do that. In effect[91], the letter says nothing at all.’

Taking this as an exaggeration I plunged without more ado[92] into the letter.

‘M. Hercule Poirot.

Dear Sir,

After much doubt and indecision, I am writing (the last word was crossed out and the letter went on) I am emboldened to write to you in the hope that you may be able to assist me in a matter of a strictly private nature. (The words strictly private were underlined three times.)I may say that your name is not unknown to me. It was mentioned to me by a Miss Fox of Exeter, and although Miss Fox was not herself acquainted with you, she mentioned that her brother-in-law’s sister (whose name I cannot, I am sorry to say, recall) had spoken of your kindness and discretion in the highest terms[93] (highest terms underlined once). I did not inquire, of course, as to the nature (nature underlined) of the inquiry you had conducted on her behalf[94], but I understood from Miss Fox that it was of a painful and confidential nature (last four words underlined heavily).’

I broke off my difficult task of spelling out the spidery words.

‘Poirot,’ I said. ‘Must I go on? Does she ever get to the point[95]?’

‘Continue, my friend. Patience.’

‘Patience!’ I grumbled. ‘It’s exactly as though a spider had got into an inkpot and was walking over a sheet of notepaper! I remember my Great-Aunt[96] Mary’s writing used to be much the same!’

Once more I plunged into the epistle.

‘In my present dilemma, it occurs to me that you might undertake the necessary investigations on my behalf. The matter is such, as you will readily understand, as calls for[97] the utmost discretion and I may, in fact—and I need hardly say how sincerely I hope and pray (pray underlined twice) that this may be the case—I may, in fact, be completely mistaken. One is apt sometimes to attribute too much significance to facts capable of a natural explanation.’

‘I haven’t left out a sheet?’ I murmured in some perplexity.

Poirot chuckled.

‘No, no.’

‘Because this doesn’t seem to make sense. What is it she is talking about?’

‘Continuez toujours.[98]

‘The matter is such, as you will readily understand—No, I’d got past that. Oh! here we are. In the circumstances as I am sure you will be the first to appreciate, it is quite impossible for me to consult anyone in Market Basing (I glanced back at the heading of the letter. Littlegreen House, Market Basing, Berks), but at the same time you will naturally understand that I feel uneasy (uneasy underlined). During the last few days I have reproached myself with being unduly fanciful (fanciful underlined three times) but have only felt increasingly perturbed. I may be attaching undue importance to what is, after all, a trifle (trifle underlined twice) but my uneasiness remains. I feel definitely that my mind must be set at rest on the matter. It is actually preying on my mind[99] and affecting my health, and naturally I am in a difficult position as I can say nothing to anyone (nothing to anyone underlined with heavy lines). In your wisdom you may say, of course, that the whole thing is nothing but a mare’s nest[100]. The facts may be capable of a perfectly innocent explanation (innocent underlined). Nevertheless, however trivial it may seem, ever since the incident of the dog’s ball, I have felt increasingly doubtful and alarmed. I should therefore welcome your views and counsel on the matter. It would, I feel sure, take a great weight off my mind. Perhaps you would kindly let me know what your fees are and what you advise me to do in the matter?

‘I must impress on you again that nobody here knows anything at all. The facts are, I know, very trivial and unimportant, but my health is not too good and my nerves (nerves underlined three times) are not what they used to be. Worry of this kind, I am convinced, is very bad for me, and the more I think over the matter, the more I am convinced that I was quite right and no mistake was possible. Of course, I shall not dream of saying anything (underlined) to anyone (underlined).

Hoping to have your advice in the matter at an early date.

I remain, Yours faithfully,

Emily Arundell.’

I turned the letter over and scanned each page closely. ‘But, Poirot,’ I expostulated, ‘what is it all about?’

My friend shrugged his shoulders.

‘What indeed?’

I tapped the sheets with some impatience.

‘What a woman! Why can’t Mrs—or Miss Arundell—’

‘Miss, I think. It is typically the letter of a spinster.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘A real, fussy old maid. Why can’t she say what she’s talking about?’

Poirot sighed.

‘As you say—a regrettable failure to employ order and method in the mental processes, and without order and method, Hastings—’

‘Quite so,’ I interrupted hastily. ‘Little grey cells practically non-existent.’

‘I would not say that, my friend.’

‘I would. What’s the sense of writing a letter like that?’

‘Very little—that is true,’ Poirot admitted.

‘A long rigmarole all about nothing,’ I went on. ‘Probably some upset to her fat lapdog—an asthmatic pug or a yapping Pekinese[101]!’ I looked at my friend curiously. ‘And yet you read that letter through twice. I do not understand you, Poirot.’

Poirot smiled.

‘You, Hastings, you would have put it straight in the waste-paper basket?’

‘I’m afraid I should.’ I frowned down on the letter. ‘I suppose I’m being dense, as usual, but I can’t see anything of interest in this letter!’

‘Yet there is one point in it of great interest—a point that struck me at once.’

‘Wait,’ I cried. ‘Don’t tell me. Let me see if I can’t discover it for myself.’

It was childish of me, perhaps. I examined the letter very thoroughly. Then I shook my head.

‘No, I don’t see it. The old lady’s got the wind up[102], I realize that—but then, old ladies often do! It may be about nothing—it may conceivably be about something, but I don’t see that you can tell that that is so. Unless your instinct—’

Poirot raised an offended hand.

‘Instinct! You know how I dislike that word. “Something seems to tell me”—that is what you infer. Jamais de la vie![103] Me, I reason. I employ the little grey cells. There is one interesting point about that letter which you have overlooked utterly, Hastings.’

‘Oh, well,’ I said wearily. ‘I’ll buy it.’

‘Buy it? Buy what?’

‘An expression. Meaning that I will permit you to enjoy yourself by telling me just where I have been a fool.’

‘Not a fool, Hastings, merely unobservant.’

‘Well, out with it[104]. What’s the interesting point? I suppose, like the “incident of the dog’s ball,” the point is that there is no interesting point!’

Poirot disregarded this sally on my part. He said quietly and calmly:

‘The interesting point is the date.’

‘The date?’

I picked up the letter. On the top left-hand corner was written April 17th.

‘Yes,’ I said slowly. ‘That is odd. April 17th.’

‘And we are today June 28th. C’est curieux, n’est ce pas?[105] Over two months ago.’

I shook my head doubtfully.

‘It probably doesn’t mean anything. A slip. She meant to put June and wrote April instead.’

‘Even then it would be ten or eleven days old—an odd fact. But actually you are in error. Look at the colour of the ink. That letter was written more than ten or eleven days ago. No, April 17th is the date assuredly. But why was the letter not sent?’

I shrugged my shoulders.

‘That’s easy. The old pussy changed her mind[106].’

‘Then why did she not destroy the letter? Why keep it over two months and post it now?’

I had to admit that that was harder to answer. In fact I couldn’t think of a really satisfactory answer. I merely shook my head and said nothing.

Poirot nodded.

‘You see—it is a point! Yes, decidedly a curious point.’

‘You are answering the letter?’ I asked.

‘Oui, mon ami.’[107]

The room was silent except for the scratching of Poirot’s pen. It was a hot, airless morning. A smell of dust and tar came in through the window.

Poirot rose from his desk, the completed letter in his hand. He opened a drawer and drew out a little square box. From this he took out a stamp. Moistening this with a little sponge he prepared to affix it to the letter.

Then suddenly he paused, stamp in hand, shaking his head with vigour.

‘Non!’[108] he exclaimed. ‘That is the wrong thing I do.’ He tore the letter across and threw it into the waste-paper basket.

‘Not so must we tackle this matter! We will go, my friend.’

‘You mean to go down to Market Basing?’

‘Precisely. Why not? Does not one stifle in London today? Would not the country air be agreeable?’

‘Well, if you put it like that,’ I said. ‘Shall we go in the car?’

I had acquired a second-hand Austin[109].

‘Excellent. A very pleasant day for motoring. One will hardly need the muffler. A light overcoat, a silk scarf—’

‘My dear fellow, you’re not going to the North Pole!’ I protested.

‘One must be careful of catching the chill,’ said Poirot sententiously.

‘On a day like this?’

Disregarding my protests, Poirot proceeded to don a fawn-coloured overcoat and wrap his neck up with a white silk handkerchief. Having carefully placed the wetted stamp face downwards on the blotting-paper[110] to dry, we left the room together.

85

to set down – письменно излагать

86

to draw in / into – вовлекать

87

to slit an envelope open – вскрыть конверт

88

paper-cutter – нож для бумаги

89

to strike an attitude – принимать (театральную) позу

90

judge for yourself – судите сами

91

In effect – В сущности

92

without more ado – без дальнейших церемоний

93

to speak of smth in high terms – очень хорошо отзываться о ч.-л.

94

on smb’s behalf – в чьих-то интересах

95

to get to the point – дойти до сути дела

96

Great-Aunt – двоюродная бабушка

97

to call for – требовать

98

Continuez toujours – (фр.) Все же продолжайте

99

to prey on one’s mind – угнетать, не давать покоя

100

mare’s nest – иллюзия

101

pug, Pekinese – мопс, пекинес (породы собак)

102

to get the wind up – испугаться

103

Jamais de la vie! – (фр.) Никогда в жизни!

104

out with it – выкладывайте

105

C’est curieux, n’est ce pas? – (фр.) Любопытно, не правда ли?

106

to change one’s mind – передумать

107

Oui, mon ami. – (фр.) Да, мой друг.

108

Non!(фр.) Нет!

109

Austin – Остин (марка легкового автомобиля)

110

blotted-paper – промокательная бумага

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