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الفصل الثانى

ڡي العشق والزواج

Chapter 2

Love and Marriage

3.2.1

قد ذكرت فى آخر الكتاب الثانى ان الفارياق ابتلاه الله بامراض كثيرة وكتب وفيرة ثم انجاه منها جميعا * وانه بعد ان راى نفسه معافًى منها اطمانّ خاطره واخلد الى الغنآ * والان ينبغى ان اذكر ختام هذه النوبة * وعاقبة هذه الحوبة * وتفصيل ذلك ان الدار التى كان فيها الخريجيّون كانت محاذية لدار بعض التجار * وكان له بنت تحبّ السماع واللهو والطرب وترتاح الى الغنآ جدا * فكانت اذا سمعت الفارياق يغنى او يعزف فى غرفته تصعد الى سطح دارها وتنصت الى ان يفرغ فتنزل الى حجرتها * فلما علم الفارياق ان صعودها كان لاجله اذ لم يكن احد غيره يظن به التعرّض لها صبت اليها نفسه ونزغه فيها نازغ من الهوى *

I mentioned at the end of Book Two that God first afflicted the Fāriyāq with many diseases and more books, then rescued him from them all, and that, believing himself pardoned, he felt great relief and devoted himself to song. Now I must relate how that episode turned out and all that this sinful pursuit brought about. To get down to detail, the house that contained the Bag-men was next door to the house of a merchant who had a daughter¹⁰ who loved music, diversion, and the raptures of art, reserving a specially soft spot for singing. Every time she heard the Fāriyāq singing or playing in his room, she’d climb to the roof of her house and listen attentively until he was done, then go back down to her chamber. When the Fāriyāq discovered that she was making the climb for him—for it was not to be imagined that anyone else could have been exhibited to her¹¹—his soul fell ardently in love with her and felt for her the promptings of desire.

3.2.2

غير انه كان من طبعه النفور من الزواج حتى انه كان يحسب المتزوجين اشقى الناس * لان الحالة الزوجية لا يبدو منها فى الغالب سوى صعوبتها ومشاقها * وكان اذا قيل له فلان تزوج تاخذه به رافة ويرثى له كما يرثى لمن دار به تيّار شديد او رزئ برزيئة كبرى * فتنازغ فيه حٍ عاملا الهوى والحذر * فرجحت كفّة الاول الثانى فراى ان مجرد النظر اولى من التعرض باشارة تدل على انه ذو صبوة وهيام *

At the same time, however, he was by nature so averse to the idea of marriage that he considered married men the least happy of people, for all that can be seen, in general, of the married state is its trials and tribulations. If ever he was told, “So-and-so has married,” he’d be overcome by pity and would mourn for him as for one swept away by a mighty torrent or afflicted by some other terrible calamity. At that moment, then, the two elements of love and caution waged war within him, the latter in the end coming to outweigh the former in the scale. He therefore decided that it was a better idea simply to look than to make any sign indicating that he was head over heels in love.

3.2.3

ومكثا على ذلك مدة وهو احذر من القِرِلَّى * حتى اذا كان يوم ورآها تمسح محاجرها بمنديل امّا من حرّ الشمس او من غيره اعتقد بمجامع قلبه انها تمسح دموعها شوقا اليه * فانفتقت بنائق الصبر من صدره * وهاج به الوجد لازالة حذره * وقال فى نفسه ايقابل احد غيرى دموع باكية بالاعراض * وهل ورآ الدموع غير الهوى * كيف لا تذيبنى وما قلبى بجلمد * ولا انا بمخلّد * وقد علمت ان اعظم لذات الحيوة ما اذا وجد الانسان له خدينا نويّا * وقرينا صفيّا * وانا غريب محتاج الى مؤنس فى وحشتى * ورفيق فى وحدتى * ومَن مؤنسٌ مثل الزوجة * واىّ خير فى العزوبة لمن رزقه الله قوته وحَوْجه *

The two of them continued in this fashion for a while, he behaving more shyly than the loon, which dives the moment it senses danger, until that day when he saw her wipe her eyes with a handkerchief (whether from the heat of the sun or for some other reason) and convinced himself in the depths of his soul that she was wiping away tears of yearning for him. At this his breast burst the gussets of resignation and emotion drove him to abandon circumspection. To himself he said, “Would any but I confront the tears of a weeping woman by turning away? And behind those tears can there be anything but love? How can they not melt me, when my heart’s no rock, I no knave of low-mannered stock? I know that the greatest pleasures in life depend on finding a boon companion and sympathetic friend. I am a stranger, in need of one to cheer me when I long for home, a comrade when I’m all alone. Who better to cheer one than a wife, and what benefit lies in bachelorhood once God has provided one with food and the other needs of life?”

3.2.4

وبمثل هذه الخواطر السريعة وطّن نفسه على تحمّل اعبآ الهوى من اى جهة كانت * فمن ثم فتح باب الاشارة بينهما * فمن بين يد توضع على القلب مرة وعلى الخد اخرى * واصبع تقرن باخرى * وذراعين تشبحان مع تنفس وزفير * وشفتين تضمّان * وراس يهزّ وغير ذلك مما يتعلل به المبتدئون فى الحب * فاما المتناهون فلا يرضيهم الاّ الهصر بالفودين كما نص عليه الاستاذ امرء القيس * ودامت دولة الاشارة بينهما اياما مديدة من دون كلام * فلما عجزت الايدى وسائر الجوارح عن ترجمة ما فى القلب وخصوصا لبُعد ما بينهما احتالا على ان يجتمعا فى مكان بحيث يرى المحب حبيبه *

By such speedy calculations, he reconciled himself to bearing the burdens of love from wherever it might come and this opened the door before the two of them to signing back and forth with a hand placed now upon the heart, next upon the cheek, a finger yoked to another, beseeching arms extended with a gulp and a sigh, pursed lips, a nodding head, and other such things to which love’s novices resort (old hands in contrast being satisfied with nothing less than the “twisting of the side-tresses”¹² specified by the master, Imruʾ al-Qays). The era of the sign lasted for many long days, without speech, but when the hands and other limbs could no longer translate what was in the heart, especially in view of the distance between them, they came up with a stratagem by which they might meet in a certain place, so that the lover might behold his beloved.

3.2.5

فلما بصر بها عن قريب وجدها والفضل لمخترع الزى المصرى عَنْدلة جَزْلة * اذ لو كانت متردية بالزى الافرنجى لما عرف هل كان ما فى صدرها عِهْنا او برْسا او قطنا * او خُرْفعا او عُطْما * او بَيْلَما * او قِشْبرا او حريرا او نَوْدلَا(١)(١) العِهْن الصوف او المصبوغ الوانا والبرس القطن او شبيه به او قطن البردى والخرفع القطن المندوف والعطم الصوف المنفوش والبيلم قطن البردى وقطن القصب والقشبر اردا الصوف ونفايته والنودل الثدى * او كان ما ورآها عُظّامة او لحما وشحما * قال وهاتان الصفتان اعنى العَنْدلية والجزلية احسن ما يراد من المراة * فان الاولى تشفع فى الكون الامامى والثانية فى الكون الخلفى * قلت وقد جآء عن سيدنا سليمان عٓم مدح العندلية بقوله فى الفصل الخامس من سفر الامثال فليروينَّك ثدياها فى كل حين * ولقائل ان يقول ان العهن واخواته مع وجود اليد والجتّ(٢)(٢) الجَتّ جسّ الكبش ليعرف سمنه من هزاله * * اذا جمع الجسمين مكان لا يمنع من تحقق الصفتين المذكورتين * والجواب ان ذلك محظور غالبا فى البلاد المشرقية ولا سيما من اول مرة * فاما عند غيرهم فلا محظور منه ولذلك شاع استعمال العظّامات عندهم بلا نكير *

When he saw her close up, he found her to be a woman big of bosom and bottom, the credit for this going to the inventor of Egyptian dress, for had she been wearing Frankish clothes, he would never have known if the things on her chest were dyed wool, cotton bolls, cotton cardings, teased wool, papyrus cotton, wool waste, silk, or breasts,(1)(1) ʿihn is “wool, or wool that has been colored by dyeing”; birs is “cotton, or something resembling it, or papyrus cotton”; khurfuʿ is “carded cotton”; ʿuṭm is “teased wool”; baylam is “papyrus cotton” and “sugarcane cotton”; qishbir is “the worst cotton, or cotton waste”; nawdal means “breast.” or whether what was behind her was a bustle or flesh and fat. These two characteristics—by which I mean bigness of bosom and bigness of bottom—are the best one can want from a woman, for the first assures the appeal of the forward dimension, the second that of the rearward. I might add that it is reported that Our Master Sulaymān, peace be upon him, said in praise of bigness of bosom (Proverbs, chapter 5), “Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times.”¹³ Someone might object that, should the two bodies be gathered together in one place, the presence of colored wool, etc., would not—given the presence of hands and possibility of their giving the body a good squeeze here and there as one would when testing a ram for fatness(2)(2) jatt is “feeling a ram, to know what part of it is fat and what lean.”—prevent the investigation of the status of the abovementioned characteristics. The response would be that such a situation is generally prohibited in the lands of the East, especially on the first occasion; the rest of the world has no such prohibition, which is why the use of bustles has spread, which no one can deny.

3.2.6

ثم حيث تقدم لنا فى الكتاب الاول وصف الحمار على اسلوب افرنجى فلا باس هنا ايضا فى وصف الرجل قُبيل الزواج على النسق المذكور فنقول * انه مدة تعلله بغبطة الزواج وتلحّزه من لذاته * لا يخطر بباله شى من مستانف آفاته * وانما يخطر فى حدسه * ويقول فى نفسه * ان حالتى لا تكون كحالة معارفى وجيرانى * الذين تزوجوا واخطاتهم الامانى * اذ هم لم يودوا الزواج حقه * ولم ياخذوا فى اسبابه بالثقة * لان منهم من باعل * وهو غير كفو لهذا العمل * اما لصفر راحته * او لعدم سماحته * او لمبانية سنّه عن سنّ زوجته * او لضعف فى آلته * او لانه كان من الزمالقية على شفا * او كان مُصْلفا او مُشَفْشِفا(١)(١) المصلف من لا تحظى عنده امراة وهو ايضا الذى ثقلت روحه وقلّ خيره والمشفشفمن به رعدة واختلاط غَيرةً واشفاقا على حرمه * او لان اميره كان يغيّبه عن وطنه * او لان جاره كان يخالفه الى عطنه * او لان امّه كانت رقيبا على امراته * او لان امامه كان ضيزنا له على مائدته * فلذلك ثار بينهما النقار * وطال النفار * فقُدّ القميصان من قُبُل ومن دُبُر * ونتف الشعران والصخب كثر * وخدش الجلدان خدشا بالظُفُر * وانتن الريحان من فوق السرر *

Now, given that we were previously presented, in Book One,¹⁴ with a description, in the Frankish style, of a donkey, there can be no harm in presenting here too a description in the same style of a man on the verge of marriage. Thus we declare: it is a time that seduces him with thoughts of the joys of being wed and makes him drool as he anticipates the pleasures of the bed. No thoughts of future troubles cross his mind—all he can surmise, the most his mind devise, is “My state is not like that of my friends and neighbors who married and were disappointed in their hopes. They didn’t give marriage its due, didn’t cling with confidence to its ropes, for some wedded when unequal to its demands, either for want of magnanimity or of liquidity, or because of a disparity between them and their wives in age or, in their instrument, some debility, or were prone to come at the rim, before entering the hole, or rejected by their wives, or reduced to a constant tizzy by the husband’s role,(1)(1) The muṣlif is one “whose wife finds no favor with him” and also a man “who is in low spirits and whose wealth has decreased.” The mushafshif is “one who suffers from trembling and confusion out of jealousy and worry over his wives.” or because their emir had exiled them from their houses, or because their mothers constantly spied on their spouses, or because of quarrels with their neighbors over where to water their cattle, or because their imams regarded their wives as chattel.¹⁵ For all these reasons, squabbles would break out between man and wife and they’d go for long periods in a state of strife, shifts would be ripped from in front and from the rear,¹⁶ heads and pubes plucked of their hair, uproar would never stop, skins would be scratched with fingernails, and the scented herbs upon the beds would go to rot.

3.2.7

اما انا فانى بحمد الله خال عن هذه الخلال * فلا تحول لى مع زوجتى حال * ولا تزاحمنى فيها الرجال * ولا يعتريها منى ملال * فرضاى رضاها * ومناى مناها * وما انا بادرم ولا ابخر * ولا احدب ولا اخنب * وان لى يدين اعمل بهما ورجلين اسعى عليهما * وان يكن بى من عيب فى خَلقى * يستره عنى حسن خُلقى * فانى لا اعارضها فى طعامها * ولا فى لباسها ومنامها * بحيث تنام الى جنبى * وتتخذ من الملبوس ما يليق بها وبى * فما يمنعنى من اتخاذ قرينة * تكون على هذه الصفة الميمونة * حتى اذا سمع الناس بان زوجى عَرُوب * عرضها عندى مصون ووجهها عن المراود محجوب * حسدونى على هذه النعمة السابغة * فكان لى كل غصة من العيش سائغة * ولا يخفى كم فى كيد الحسود من لذة * لا تتقاعس عنها الالذّه * ما عدا ارتياح النفس الى الجنس الانيس * الذى قربه للقلب ترويح وللكرب تنفيس * وان امرءا يقاسى النهار جهده * ثم يبيت فى الليل وحده * من دون ضجيع له تنفخ فى انفه * وتسخن دمه من امامه ومن خلفه * لجدير بان يحصى مع الاموات * ويلقى بين الرفات * هذا وانى استغنى برضبها عن الشراب * وبشم شعرها عن المسك والملاب * فانهم قالوا ان الرائحة الانثوية تستنشق من منابت الشعر وبها نشوة الحواس * سوآ كان فى المغابن او فى الراس * واجتزئ بحر جسدها عن الوقود للاصطلآ * وبالرنوّ اليها عن الاثمد والجلآ * فيتوفر علىّ كل يوم فى الاقل درهم * انفق نصفه على الحمّام كل غداة فيبقى لى النصف الآخر وذلك خير عَمَم * وغنى اتمّ *

“I, though, am free, praise God, from any such flaw. Nothing need come between me and my wife, no man will jostle me for her affections, she won’t find me a bore. My happiness will be hers, my wishes and hers the same. I am neither toothless nor foul of breath nor hunchbacked nor lame. I have two hands with which to work, two legs that, to earn their living, will not shirk, and if in my body there’s any distemper, it’s covered by my excellence of temper. I will object to none of her cooking, her clothes, or her manner of reposing, for she’ll sleep next to me and adopt what suits us both by way of clothing. What then should stop me from taking a mate, one possessed of each such happy trait, even should people, hearing that my spouse is full of affection, that with me her honor enjoys full protection and her face no visitor sees, envy me such abundant ease? Every choking sorrow will then seem easy to swallow, and it’s no secret what pleasure lies in giving the envious the finger—a pleasure over which no connoisseur will hesitate to linger. Not to mention the delight found by the psyche in the companionate gender, whose nearness to the heart comfort, and in times of stress an outlet, doth render. One who endures his toil by day only by night to sleep alone and who no bedmate to breathe into his nostrils or warm his blood from in front and behind owns is meet to be counted among the dead and thrown among the bones. In addition, I shall by her saliva to the need for drink be made immune, by the smell of her hair to the need for musk and other perfume, for they say that the smell of a woman from the roots of the hair (be those in the body’s cracks and crevices or on the head) may be inhaled and by it all the senses are derailed. Likewise, the heat of her body will suffice as fuel to keep me warm, the sight of her serve as antimony and balm, meaning that I shall save at least one silver coin a day, half of which for a daily morning visit to the bathhouse I’ll pay, leaving me the other half to live on, which is riches indeed and will suffice for any need.

3.2.8

فاما ما يقال فى كيد النسا * واعناتهن الرجال بما يعزّ على الاِسا * فليس ذلك على عمومه * ولا تقرر حكم الا واستثنى امور من تعميمه * فلعلى اول من اخرج^١ هذا الاستثنآ * وسنّ للاعزاب على الزواج الثنآ * كيف لا وانا ذو فصاحة وتبيان ودهآ وجنان * فما يعيينى شى من نكرها * ولا تخفى عنى خافية من امرها * فاعارضها واحجّها * واريها ان لى عليها قفيَّة تضطرها الى طاعتى وتحوجها * فان قلت لها اليوم يصوم فيه المباعلون * ويتبتّل المفاعلون * قالت انا اول من صام * وآخر من نام * وان قلت لا يجمل بالمحصنة ان تتبرّج * قالت ولا ان تتغنّج * وان قلت ان حق الزوجة على زوجها فى كل اسبوع مرة * قالت وتبقى ايضا عفيفة حرة * وان قلت ليس الحلىّ بلازم للعرس * قالت ولا الديباج شرّ لُبْس * وفى الجملة فان عيشى معها يكون رغيدا * وحالى سعيدا * وحظى مديدا * وطعامى مريئا * وشرابى هنيئا * وثوبى وضيئا * وفرشى وطيئا * وبيتى مانوسا * ومتاعى محروسا * وطرفى قريرا * وشانى مذكورا * وسعيى ميمونا * وقصدى مامونا * فحىّ هَلَ الزواج * بلعوب مغناج * طلعتها علاج * من الالفاج * وضجعتها انهاج * الى الافلاج * انتهى *

١ ١٨٥٥: اخرجه.

“As to what people say about ‘women’s wiles’ and how they ride their husbands so hard they’re left beyond the reach of consolation, in most cases this isn’t true—and no rule’s without exceptions to its general application. I may be the first to expose this qualification and fashion, in praise of marriage for bachelors, such a commendation, and how could this not be so, when I’m a master of chaste language and eloquence, a man of craft and intelligence? Thus none of her cunning ways will defy me and none of her attempts at concealment get by me. I shall oppose her and remonstrate, and that my superiority to her compels her to obey and comply I shall demonstrate. One day I’ll tell her, ‘This is a day on which the married desist and active lovers to celibacy keep’ to which she’ll reply, ‘I shall be the first to desist and the last to sleep.’ Should I tell her, ‘It’s not attractive for a respectable married woman to put her charms on display,’ she’ll tell me, ‘Or flirt and play,’ and if I tell her, ‘A wife her husband once a week has a right to expect,’ she’ll tell me, ‘While remaining chaste and worthy of respect.’ If I tell her, ‘Jewelry’s no requirement for a wedding,’ she’ll tell me, ‘and nor is brocade, that most evil cladding.’ Taken as a whole, my life with her will be easy, my state happy, my good fortune extensive, my food wholesome, my drink healthy, my clothes clean, my bed comfy, my possessions well guarded, my house no longer lonesome. Good cheer will be there, my every effort blessed, my status one of note, my endeavors guaranteed success. Hie ye then to marriage with a jolly girl who’s full of coquetry, whose looks provide a cure for bankruptcy, and to bed whom is to ride the road to victory!” End.

3.2.9

وانا اقول ان مما غُرس فى هذه الطينة البشرية اللَثِية ان الرجل متى وطّن نفسه على الزواج حبّب الله اليه زوجه على اية حالة كانت حتى يراها احسن الناس خُلقا وخَلقا * لا بل يرى نفسه انه قد ترفع عن اقرانه * وتمزىّ على اخوانه * حتى يستخسّ ما كان من قبل يستعظمه * وانه قد صار انسانا جديدا يجدر بان يجدد له وجه الارض * وبنآ على ذلك لم يعد الفارياق يرضى بالاغانى والاشعار المتعارفة بل استبدل الاولى باخرى جديدة من نظمه * ونظم خلال ذلك قصيدتين حاول فيهما اختراع اسلوب غريب فجاتا طيخيّتين كما سترى ذلك * ولو استطاع ان يخترع كلاما جديدا يعبّر به غرامه وحديث شانه لفعل *

I further declare that it is a fact, deeply rooted in our sticky human clay, that when a man sets his heart on getting married, God endears his spouse to him however she be and makes him believe she’s the best of people, morally and physically. And that’s not all: the man may well believe that he’s been elevated above his peers and distinguished among his brethren to the point that he dismisses as trivial what previously he saw as important and imagines that he has become a new person, for whom the face of the earth ought, by rights, to be remade. It follows that the Fāriyāq no longer found contentment in the old familiar songs and poetry; instead, he substituted for them other, new ones of his own composition. In the process, he composed two poems¹⁷ in which he attempted to invent a strange new style, with the result that they turned out quite titter-making, as you shall see—and had he had the ability to invent a new form of speech to express his passion and rejuvenation, he would have done so.

3.2.10

وكان اذا راى رجلا متزوجا يهيب به وينشده

انا فى حلبة الزواج المجلّى	انما انت فُسكل قاشور
ان قدحى يفوز عما قريب	انما قدحك السفيح يبور

او عزبا قال له

يا ايها الاعزاب انى رافض	دين العزوبة فاقتدوا بمثاليا
ليس الغِنَى الا البعال فبادروا	يا قوم واستغنوا بمثل بعاليا

وتهوّس يوما لان ينظم ديوانا يشتمل على ابيات مفردة تهافتا على احداث شى غريب فنظم اربعة ابيات ثم امسك * وهى

ساعة البعد عنك شهر وعام	الوصل يمضى كانما هو ساعه
اتنجم الليل الطويل صبابة	وتنجمى لنجوم ذى تفليك
ويخفق منى القلب ان هبت الصبا	ويذكرنى البدر المنير محياك
الا ليت شعرى كم يقاسى من النوى	وانحائه قلب يذوب تجلدا

ومن الفضول هنا ان نقول انه كان يقول لخطيبته انك ملأت عينى قرة * وانى اراك احسن الخلق * وانّا ليغبطنا الناس * وانك تغنينى عن الغنى * وانى بقربك سعيد * ويبعدك عميد * وانّا نكون ابدا كما نحن الان * وانك ذات ملاحة تشغل الخلىّ * وانى اغار عليك من النسيم يفيّئ شعرك هذا الدجىّ * وانّا لجسمان فى روح واحد او روحان فى جسم واحد * وانك لترين منى كل يوم محبّا جديدا * وانى لارى فيك كل وقت حسنا حديثا * وانّا نكون قدوة للمتزوجين والعاشقين * الى غير ذلك من الكلام المتعارف عند امثاله *

Thus, should he lay eyes on a married man, he’d call out to him and sing as follows:

On the racetrack of marriage, I’m the front-runner

While you’re the also-ran last-placer.

My shaft soon will take the prize

While your luckless stick’s a failure.¹⁸

Or, should he see a bachelor, he’d tell him:

Bachelors, the creed of the single man

I have renounced, so do as I have done.

There is no wealth but marriage, so have at it, friends:

Enrich yourselves and gain what I have won.

And one day, infatuated with the idea of creating something strange and new, he became obsessed with the idea of composing a collection of poetry that would consist entirely of single verses.¹⁹ He wrote four and then gave up. They were:

Like a month is an hour of separation from you, but a year

In your company passes like an hour.

I spend the long night gazing at the stars enamored—

My contemplation being of heavenly bodies that are rounded.

My heart beats unbidden whene’er the east wind rises,

And the bright moon recalls to me your countenance.

Would I might know how long a heart that melts as it endures

Can suffer from separation in its many modes.

It would be officious of us to say here that he used to tell his fiancée, “You are the delight of my eyes, and I believe you to be the best of humankind. We are the envy of others and with you I have no need of riches. When close to you, I’m glad, when far, I’m sad. We shall always be as we are now. Your beauty distracts the unwed and I’m jealous of the breeze that ruffles the jet black tresses on your head. We are two bodies with one soul or two souls with one body. Each day you’ll find in me a lover new and all the time I’ll find fresh charms in you. We shall be the paragon of spouses and of lovers,” and so on in the usual vein adopted by such as he.

3.2.11

قال خير ايام الانسان فى حياته هى المدة التى تتقدم الزواج والتى تليه * قلت ومبلغها عند الافرنج شهر يسمونه قمر العَسَل وهو بعد الزواج * ومبلغها عندنا معاشر العرب شهران يقال لهما قمرا العَسْل * حتى اذا امتلات الخليّة عادت كل نحلة زنبورا ورجع كل شى الى اصله * واقول ان المحبة هى مما غرس فى الطبيعة البشرية من يوم الوضع فى المهد الى يوم الوضع على النعش * فلا بدّ لهذا المخلوق الآدمى من ان يحب ذاتا من الذوات او شيا من الاشيآ او معنى من المعانى * وكلما زاد حبه فى قسيم منها نقص فى قسيمه الآخر * وقد يكون احدها سببا فى زيادة حبّه للاخر * مثال ذلك مَن كلف بالشعر او الغنآ او التصوير فكلفه هذا يكون باعثا له على حبّ الذات الجميلة * ومن كلف بالعلم والقتال والفخر والسيادة فلا بد وان تقل رغبته فى النسآ بل ربما لهى عنهن بالكلية * ومن كلف بالخيل المطهَّمة والسلاح النفيس فقد يكون كلفه هذا شائقا له الى حب الذات أوْ لا * وعدّ بعضهم من هذا النوع السراباتية وهم المنظّفون للمراحيض * واسقطه غيرهم بدليل انها حرفة يحتاج اليها الانسان لتحصيل معاشه لا كَلَف من هوى النفس *

Another thing he said was that the best days of a person’s life are those immediately preceding and following marriage. I note: according to the Franks these number a month, which they call “the moon of honey (ʿasal)” and which follows the wedding. According to us Arabs, however, they number two, are called “the two moons of intercourse (ʿasl),” and last till the hive has been filled, every bee has reverted to being a hornet, and everything has gone back to the way it was. I note further that love is something planted in our human clay the day we’re placed in the cradle and that lasts till the day we’re laid on the bier. The human must inevitably therefore feel love for some person or other, some object or other, some abstraction or other, and the more his love grows in the area of one of these loci, the further it declines in another. At the same time, one of these loci may become a stimulus to his adding love for another. An example would be a person who devotes himself to poetry, singing, or painting and whose devotion to these things becomes a spur to his loving a beautiful person. One who devotes himself to scholarship or fighting or honor or the exercise of power must inevitably lose some of his desire for women; indeed, he may be too busy to think about them at all. One who devotes himself to purebred horses and fine weapons may find that this devotion is an incitement to love of another or not, as the case may be. Some count among this last kind the sarābātiyyah, who are the latrine cleaners, but others exclude them from it on the grounds that they practice a profession that people are forced to undertake to make a living, not a pastime that people undertake because it suits them to do so.²⁰

3.2.12

فهذه ثلث حالات متسببة عن ثلثة اسباب * وهناك ايضا ثلث احوال اخرى باعتبار القلّة والكثرة وما بينهما * الاولى متعادلة وهى ان يحبّ المحبّ محبوبه كنفسه * فلا تطيب نفسه شى ولا تهنئه لذة الا اذا كان محبوبه مشاركا له فى تلك اللذة * وذلك صفة الرجل قبل زواجه وبُعَيده * ولا تخلو هذه الصفة عن الرشد والبصيرة * الثانية المتعدية اى المجاوزة للمتعادلة * وذلك كاَن يحب المحب حبيبه اكثر من نفسه * وذلك صفة الاب والام فى حبّ ولدهما وصفة بعض العشاق * اما الاب فانه يفدى ولده بروحه ويحرم نفسه من اللذات والمسرات حتى يمتّعه بها * فاذا راى نفسه عاجزا عن الاكل والبعال وراى ابنه ياكل ويباعل لذَّ له ذلك * وهو مع هذا غير خال ايضا عن الرشد والتمييز * فاما العاشق فانه يوثر معشوقه على نفسه غير ان افعاله تكون مختله فى غير محلها ووقتها * والثالثة معلومة وهى ان يحب الانسان محبوبه مع ايثار نفسه عليه وهو الاغلب *

The preceding are three states deriving from three different stimuli. There are a further three states with respect to paucity, abundance, and their midpoint. The first is one of parity and consists of the lover loving his beloved as he loves himself; thus he never indulges himself in anything or pleasures himself with anything unless the one he loves is there to share that pleasure with him. This is how men are before and just after they get married, and it is not inconsistent with good sense and judgment. The second is the excessive, which is to say the one that goes beyond parity and consists of the lover loving his beloved more, as it were, than himself; it is characteristic of fathers and mothers in their love for their children and of certain lovers. The father will sacrifice his own life for that of his offspring and deny himself pleasures and treats so as to use them to give them pleasure: if he finds himself incapable of eating or of enjoying marital relations while his son enjoys both, this makes him happy. At the same time, however, he is not devoid of good sense and judgment. The lover may prefer the object of his affections to himself but unlike the parent behaves in a disordered way, doing things that are inappropriate to their place and time. The third is the ordinary situation and consists of a person loving his beloved but loving himself more; this is the commonest.

3.2.13

وهناك ايضا ثلث احوال اخرى مكانية وهى القرب والبعد والتوسط * ولها تاثيرات مختلفة بحسب اختلاف طباع الناس * فالصادق الود يحب فى حالتى القرب والبعد على حدّ سوى * بل ربما كان البعاد مهيجا له الى زيادة الشوق والغرام * وما احسن قول من قال فى هذا المعنى

كانّ الهوى شمس ابى ان يردّها

مهاة نوىً لا بل تزيد بها حرّا

فاما الطَرِف الشَنِق فانه لا يرسل الساق الّا ممسكا ساقا *

There are also three locational states, namely proximity, distance, and their midpoint, and these have different impacts depending on the differences among people’s dispositions. One whose love is true will love to the same extent whether he be near or far; indeed, separation may urge him on to greater longing and passion. No one has described this situation better than the one who said

Methinks the beloved a sun that separation

Refuses to take as “oryx doe.”²¹ Rather, it makes it burn yet hotter.

The free-grazing male, on the other hand, the one with a roving eye, never puts one leg forward without holding the other back.

3.2.14

وثلث اخرى زمانية وهى الصبى والشباب والكهولة * فمحبة الصبى اسرع واعلق * ومحبة الشباب احرّ واقوى * ومحبة الكهولة اقرّ وادوم * والكهل يقدر محاسن محبوبه ومنافعه اكثر * ومحبته له تكون امرّ واحلى * فالمرارة لعلمه انه قد عرّض نفسه للوم اللائمين وعذل العاذلين من الاحداث والاغرار * ولاشفاقه دائما من ملل محبوبه اياه * فقلبه ابدا واجب * وهمّه بشانه هم ناصب * والحلاوة لزيادة معرفته بقدر محبوبه كما تقدم * ولكون هواه والحالة هذه راهنا متمكنا فهو يعتقد بمجامع قلبه انه ساع فى اسباب سعادته وحظه *

There are a further three states that are temporal. These are childhood, youth, and maturity. The affection of the child is that most quickly given and the most tenacious, that of the youth the hottest and strongest, and that of the mature person the most firmly grounded and longest lasting. The mature person also values his beloved’s good qualities and advantages more highly and his love for that person is both more bitter and more sweet. The bitterness comes from his knowing that he is exposing himself to the reproach and censure of the reproachful and censorious among the young and inexperienced, as well as to his own anxiety that his beloved may grow bored with him. Thus his heart ever burns, his mind to his beloved ever turns. The sweetness comes from his greater awareness of his beloved’s worth, as noted above, and from his love being as a result permanent and strong, for he believes with all his heart that he is pursuing what will bring him happiness and his due portion of good fortune.

3.2.15

ولها ايضا ثلث حالات اخرى باعتبار الاستطاعة وعدمها اعنى اليسر والعسر وحالة ما بينهما * اما الموسر فان محبته ابرد واحول * لان غناه يحمله على استبدال محبوبه والتنقل من حال الى حال * فلتحذر النسآ المحصنات هذا الصنف من الناس وان ماس بينهن^١ ماسه * الا اذا كن لا يخفن على سرّهن وعرضهن * لان الغنىّ يستحلّ افشآ الاسرار * كما يستحيل خزن الدينار * وعنده ان كل شى عبد درهمه * وطوع نَهَمه * فاما الفقير فان محبته اشطّ واشذ واَلْوَع * لان فقره من حيث كان مانعًا له من ازالة الموانع التى تحول بينه وبين محبوبه لا يلبث ان يفضى به الى اليأس او الخبال او الى الانتحار * فاما المتوسط فان حبّه اعدل واصحّ *

١ ١٨٥٥: بهن.

Love has likewise three states with respect to means or the lack thereof—by which I have in mind material comfort, hardship, and their midpoint. The affection of the man of comfortable means is the coolest and most fickle, for his wealth allows him to change beloveds and shift from state to state. Let respectable women beware this type of man lest he spread scandal among them, unless they have no fear for their secrets and their honor, for the rich man has as little against giving away secrets as he has against piling up money, and to him everything is to his coin subservient, to his greed obedient. The affection of the poor man, in contrast, is the most excessive, deviant, and agonized, for his poverty, being an obstacle to his removal of the impediments that stand between him and his beloved, leads him in no time to despair, insanity, or suicide. The love of the man of middling means is the most balanced and healthy.

3.2.16

ولها ايضا ثلث حالات اخرى وهى الذل والعزّ والمساواة * فالذل غالبا صفة العاشق والعزّ صفة المعشوق * ومن اعجب انواع المحبة الحبّ المختلط بالبغض * وذلك كان يهوى رجل امراة وهى تهوى غيره وتتمنع عليه * فيهيج به وجده الى وصالها تشفّيا منها * فان فاز به غلبت محبته على كراهيته والّا فلا * ولا يزال هذا دابه حتى يسلو عنها * والغالب ان المحب لا يسلو محبوبه اذا عامله بالصد والحرمان الا اذا ظفر باخر شبيه له فى خلقه وخلقه وهيهات ذلك *

There are three more states of love, namely abjection, pride, and equality. Abjection usually is the state of the suitor, pride that of the one to whom suit is made. One of the most amazing kinds of affection is love mixed with hatred. An example would be a man who loves a woman who loves another man, and therefore refuses his advances. His fervor then urges him to pursue union with her as a form of vengeance against her. If he is successful in this, his love overcomes his hatred for her; if he isn’t, it doesn’t, and he remains in this state until some consolation distracts him from her. Generally speaking, the lover doesn’t forget his beloved when the latter treats him with aversion and denial but only on winning another who resembles the first physically and temperamentally (though how rarely that happens!).

3.2.17

فاما بواعث المحبة فقد تكون عن نظرة واحدة تقع من قلب الناظر موقعا مكينا * فتخلج فيه من محركات الوجد والشوق ما تخلجه عِشرة مدة مديدة * وعندى انه لا بدّ وان يكون المحبّ قد تصوّر فى عقله سابقا صفات وكيفيات من الحسن فصبا اليها * حتى اذا شاهدها حقيقة فى ذات من الذوات كما كان تصورها عَلِق بها قلبه وخاطره فكان كمن وجد ضالّة ينشدها * وقد تكون المحبة عن طول سماع عن شخص فيسترسل السامع اليه شيا فشيا حتى يكلف به * واكثر اسباب المحبة النظر والعشرة *

As to the incitements to love, these include a single sighting that touches a sensitive chord in the seer’s heart, after which he is pervaded by the same feelings conducive to ardor and longing that long association would create. In such cases, in my opinion, the lover must previously have pictured in his mind certain characteristics and specifics of comeliness and fallen in love with these; then, when he sees them as he had pictured them, realized in a particular body, his heart and mind cleave to it and he is like one who finds something he had lost and was looking for. Love may also come about as a result of hearing about someone for such a long time that, little by little, the hearer becomes so familiar with that person that he becomes devoted to them. The commonest causes of love, however, are looking and association.

3.2.18

واعلم ان كثيرا من الناس قد عشقوا الصور الجميلة فى الذكور والاناث لغير دعارة وفسق * وانما هو ارتياح نفس ووجد بال * ويويّده ما ورد فى الاثر * من عشق فكتم فعفَّ فمات مات شهيدا * والعاشق فى هذه الحالة يرضى من معشوقه بادنى شى * فالقبلة عنده وفتح وغنيمة * قال الشريف الرضى

سلوا مضجعى عنى وعنها فاننا

رضينا بما يخبرن عنا المضاجع

قلت لو كان لى تصرف فى هذا البيت لقلت عنها وعنى * وقال ابن الفارض رحٓمه

كم بات طوع يدى والوصل يجمعنا

فى بردتيه التقى لا نعرف الدنسا

وهذا العشق يسمى عند الافرنج العشق الافلاطونى نسبة الى افلاطون الحكيم * ولا حقيقة له عندهم وانما هو مجرد تسمية * ويعرف عندنا بالهوى العُذْرى * نسبة الى عُذرة قبيلة فى اليمن لا الى عذرة الجارية اى بكارتها وافتضاضها وشى آخر منها * ويروى عن مجنون ليلى انها اتته يوما وجعلت تحدثه فقال لها اليك عنى فانى مشغول بهواك * وللمتنبى فى هذا المعنى

فشُغلتُ عن ردّ السلا

م فكان شغلى عنك بك

Know too that many people have fallen in love with beautiful pictures, of males or females, and not for any lewd or immoral reason but simply because by so doing they found their souls were set at rest and their minds afire, being strengthened in this by the tradition that runs “He who loves, keeps silent, is chaste, and dies, dies a martyr.” In such a situation, the suitor is pleased with the slightest thing his beloved may give him: a kiss, to his mind, is a victory, a triumph, a prize of war. As al-Sharīf al-Raḍī says:

Ask my bed of me and of her, for we

Are content with what our beds may tell of us.

(If I were given a free hand with this verse, I’d change it to “of her and of me.”²²) And Ibn al-Fāriḍ, may God have mercy on his soul, says:

How oft he spent the night at the mercy of my hand, when we were joined in love!

Within his doubled mantle godliness resides—we are innocent of all pollution.

This kind of passion is called “platonic love” by the Franks, in reference to Plato the philosopher; it does not exist among them in reality, being merely a term they use. Among us it is known as “ʿUdhrī love,” after ʿUdhrah, a tribe in Yemen, and not after the ʿadhrah of the slave girl, meaning her virginity and intact state as well as something else that comes from her.²³ It is related of Majnūn Laylā that Laylā came to him one day and started talking to him, but he said, “Away with you! I am too busy with my love for you.” And al-Mutanabbī says in the same vein,

I was distracted from returning your greeting

And the source of my distraction was yourself.

3.2.19

واحقّ النسآ بان تُعشَق وتعزّز التى جمعت الى حسن خلقها الادب وحسن المنطق والصوت * واسعد الناس حالا من كان له حبيب يحبه كما جآ فى بعض المواليات المصرية * فانه والحالة هذه يقدم على اصعب الاعمال واعظم المساعى * ويباشرها دون ان يشعر بها * لان فكره ابدا مشغول بمحاسن حبيبه * فلو رفع صخرة فى هذه الحالة على عاتقه بل فِنْدًا لتوهم انه رافع نعال محبوبه او بالحرى رجليه * ثم انه معما يلحق المحبة من طوارى التنغيص والخيبة والحرمان وخصوصا مضض الغيرة فان عيش الخلى لا خير فيه * لان الحب يبعث على المرٓؤة والنخوة والشهامة والكرم * ويلهم المحب المعانى اللطيفة والخواطر الدقيقة * ويكسبه الاخلاق المرضية * ويستوحيه الى عمل شى عظيم يذكر به اسمه ويحمد شانه ولا سيما عند محبوبته * وقلما رايت عاشقا به جفآ وفظاظة او رثْء وبلادة او دنآءة وخساسة *

The woman most worthy of love and esteem is she who adds culture and beauty of expression and voice to beauty of appearance, and the most fortunate of persons is “a lover who’s got a lover who loves him,” as it says in an Egyptian mawāliyā. In such a state, he will be emboldened to undertake the toughest of tasks and mightiest of endeavors and, his thoughts being ever preoccupied with his beloved’s charms, will perform them as though they were nothing. In such a state, were he to shoulder a rock, or even a mighty mountain, he’d fondly suppose he was lifting his beloved’s slippers or, to be more precise, his legs. Moreover, despite all the moments of misery, disappointment, deprivation, and, above all, the torments of jealousy that accompany love, there is nothing good about the life of the fancy-free. Love stimulates manliness, pride, gallantry, and generosity. It inspires the one in love with refined ideas and nice notions. It imbues him with godly morals and makes him want to do something great for which his name will be remembered and that will bring him praise, especially from his beloved. Rarely have I met a person in love who was cold and crude, foolish and given to hebetude, or base and rude.

3.2.20

وقال بعض العَزِهين واظنه من التيتائيّين * لو لم يمنع من عشق المراة شى بعد التعفف والتورّع سوى الاضطرار الى حبّها لكفى * لان الانسان متى علم انه مسخّر لحب شى ومكلّف به ملّه بالطبع ونفر منه * قال فيكون حب المراة على هذا مغايرا للطبع * هذا اذا كان الرجل شهما عزيز النفس عالى الهمة * فاما الاوباش من الناس فلا معرفة لهم بقدر انفسهم فهم يتساقطون على حب المراة حيثما عنّت لهم وكيفما اتفق * قلت هو كلام من لم يذق الحب او من كان مفرَّكا * (١) الزحنقف الزاحف على استه *ولو سمع انثى تقول له يوما احمل يا روحى هذا الحمل من الحطب على راسك * او احبُ يا عيني على استك كالولد الصغير للبّاها حاملا وزَحَنْقَفَا(١) *

A certain abstemious person (who must, I think, have been a premature ejaculator) once said, “If the only thing—all considerations of continence and godliness aside—to prevent one from falling in love with a woman were the necessity of doing so, it would be enough, for when a person knows he is compelled and obligated to love something, he naturally finds it irksome and eschews it. It follows,” he went on, “that love of a woman is contrary to nature, though this is only if the man is perspicacious, self-respecting, and high-minded. The rabble, by contrast, have no self-respect and fall in love with women haphazardly, at the drop of a skullcap.” I say, “These are the words of one who has never tasted love, or was loathed by his wife. Had he ever heard a woman say to him,(1) zaḥanqaf (“bumping along”) is “moving over the ground on one’s backside.” ‘Bear, my darling, this load of firewood on your head’ or ‘Bump along, my sweetheart, on your backside like a little boy,’ he’d obey her in both bearing and bumping.(1)”

3.2.21

ثم ان للعشاق مذاهب مختلفة فى العشق * فمنهم من يهوى ذات التصنّع والتمويه والعجب * ومنهم من لا يعجبه ذلك وانما يوثر الحسن الطبيعى * وان يكون فى محبوبته بعض الغفلة والبلاهة * والى هذا اشار المتنبى بقوله

حسن الحضارة مجلوب بتطرئة

وفى البداوة حسن غير مجلوب

ومثل الاول مَثَل مَن يُقدَّم له لون من الطعام وبه قَمَه فيحتاج الى التفحية والتقتيت * ومثل الثانى مثل مَن به سْيَفنيَّة وسرْطميَّة(١)(١) سِيْفَنَّة طائر بمصر لا يقع على شجرة الا اكل جميع ورقها والسرْطم الواسع الحلق السريع البلع * فلا يمنعه عدم التفحية والتوابل من ان يلسو ويلوس ويلثَى ثم يلحس قعر الجفنة بعد فراغه منها * فاما رغبة بعض الناس فى الغفول والبلاهة فانها مبنية على ان المحب لا يزال يقترح من محبوبته اشيآ كثيرة تبعث اليها الحاجة * فمتى كانت ذات دهآ وذكآء خشى ان تملّه وتحرمه *

It is also the case that lovers follow different schools in love. Some love a woman who is all artifice, affectation, and vanity, while others do not find these things pleasing, preferring natural beauty and that their beloved should have a degree of naïveté and simplemindedness. This is what al-Mutanabbī was alluding to when he said:

In the city, beauty’s an import, freshened up for the market.

In the desert there’s a beauty that needs no importing.

An example of the first kind is the man who is offered a certain dish when he has no appetite, so it has to be spiced up and faked. An example of the second is the man who suffers from diochism²⁴ or metafaucalophagy,(1)(1) the sīfannah is “a bird in Egypt that eats all the leaves of any tree it alights on”; one who is sarṭam is “wide in the throat and swallows quickly.” so that the absence of spicing and herbs cannot stop him from guzzling, tidbitting, and lapping until he’s licked the bottom of the bowl clean after first polishing off its contents. As far as the desire of certain people for naïveté and simplemindedness is concerned, it is based on the fact that the lover is always demanding things that he needs from his beloved and if the latter is possessed of cunning and intelligence, he will fear she may find this irksome and refuse him.

3.2.22

ومنهم من يزيد فى المراة غراما اذا كانت ذات عزّة وشرّة ومعاسرة * فيكون استرضاوها ادعى الى النشاط والسعى * وهذا يفعله فى الغالب من يتفرغ للهوى ويتصدى له من كل جهة * ومنهم من يعشق المراة لاتسامها بسمة شرف وسيادة او وجاهة * وذلك داب ذوى الطموح والاستطاعة * ومن هذا الصنف من اذا راى امراة وضيعة الشان تشبه امراة شريفة عشقها لاجل حصول المشابهة فقط * ويقال لاهل هذا المذهب المشبّهيّة * وهو فى النسآ اكثر فان المراة لا تكاد ترى رجلا الا وتقول لعله يشبه بعض الامرآ الغابرين او الحاضرين او الآتين * ومنهم من يعشق من بها ذلّة وانكسار وملاينة * وذلك شان ذوى الرفق والرقة * ومنهم من يعشق من على طلعتها اثار الحزن والكآبة والفكرة * وهو مذهب ذوى الحنين والطرب * ومنهم من يعشق ذات البشر والطلاقة والانس * وهو خلق المحزونين المبتئسين * فان النظر الى مثل هذه ينفى الهم * ويجلو الكرب والغم * ومنهم من يعشق من بها مرح ونزق وطيش وثرثرة وقهقهة * وهو داب السفهآ والجهلا * ومنهم من يعشق المراة لادبها وفهمها وحسن كلامها ومحاضرتها وسرعة جوابها * وهو مذهب العلمآ والادبا * ومنهم من يعشق من تكون كثيرة الحلىّ والتانّق فى الملبوس كثيرة الغنج والتمويه * وهو طريقة ذوى السرف والشطط * ومنهم من يعشق الماجنة المتهتكة المستهترة * وهو شان الفساق الفجار * ومنهم من يعشق الخيتعور الشهوانية المتلعجة الطفسة * وهو خلق من بلغ منه العُهر كل مبلغ * ومنهم من يعشق اللاّعة الخريدة العفيفة ابتغآ ان يفسدها ثم يتباهى بذلك بين اقرانه * فاذا رضيت له ملّها او ارادها ان تكون على غير تلك الحال * وهو عندى شرّ من عاشق المتوهجة * ومنهم من يحب اجتماع هذه الصفات المختلفة كلها فى محبوبته بحسب اختلاف الاحوال * هذا فى الخُلق فاما فى الخَلق فالنحيف يهوى السمينة وبالعكس * والاسمر يحب البيضآ وبالعكس * والطويل يحب القصيرة وبالعكس * والاملط يحب الكثيرة الشعر وبالعكس * اما النسآ فاحبّ الرجال اليهن الفارس الابتع * الشجاع الاروع *

Another kind of lover is the one who loves a woman more if she is proud, a spitfire, difficult to handle, so that conciliating her calls for energy and effort. Most of those who undertake such a task have no other occupation than love and divert themselves with it wherever they find it. Another is the man who loves a woman who possesses the traits of nobility, self-command, and dignity; this is the way of men of ambition and capacity. Any man who sees a woman of humble station who resembles one nobly born and falls in love with her simply because of the resemblance belongs to this category, and the members of this school are called “comparators.” It is more common among women, for a woman can scarcely see a man without saying, “he looks like one of the emirs of the olden days,” or today’s days, or the coming days. Another is the man who falls in love with the woman who is abject, meek, and affectionate; this is the way of those who are kind and sensitive. Another is the man who falls in love with the woman whose countenance bears signs of grief, depression, and worry; this is the way of the tenderhearted and those easily moved by music. Another is the man who falls in love with the woman who is full of joy, unrestrained, and fun-loving; this is the disposition of those who are sad and wretched, for to look at a woman of that type dispels care and brings light where once reigned distress and despair. Another is the man who falls in love with the woman who is full of mirth and frivolity, flightiness, chatter, and hilarity; this is the way of fools and the ignorant. Another is the man who falls in love with a woman for her culture, understanding, eloquence, readiness of tongue, and quickness of wit; this is the course of scholars and litterateurs. Another is the man who falls in love with women who have lots of trinkets and dress elegantly, who are full of coquetry and affectation; this is the road of those given to extravagance and excess. Another is the man who falls in love with the wanton, shameless, brazen woman; this is the case with depraved lechers. Another is the man who falls in love with the inconstant, sensual, nymphomaniacal, unclean woman; this is the disposition of the man to whom whoring has done its worst. Another is the man who falls in love with the chaste virgin who refuses to let any man have his way with her, in the hope of corrupting her and then boasting of it among his peers; if, subsequently, she gives in to him, he grows tired of her or wishes she hadn’t. Such men, in my opinion, are more evil than those who make love to nymphomaniacs. And another is the man who loves the coming together of all these different traits in his beloved, as appropriate. So much for the moral dimension. As for the physical, the thin man falls for the fat woman and vice versa, the brown-skinned loves the white and vice versa, the tall loves the short and vice versa, and the smooth-skinned loves the hirsute and vice versa. As far as women are concerned, the man they love most is the bull-necked horseman, dashing and daring.

3.2.23

فاما الغنى والفقر فلا ضابط لهما فان الغنى يتهافت على حب الفقيرة كما يتهافت على حبّ الغنية * بل البخيل من الاغنيآ يؤثر حب الفقيرة طمعا فى ان يرضيها بالقليل من المال * والغالب ايضا ايثار حبّ الجيل الغريب للاستطلاع على ما عنده من الغرائب التى تتصور المخيلة وجودها فيه دون غيره * الا اذا منع مانع جهل بلغته فحٍ يحصل للمخيلة انقباض فى تماديها * وكما ان لطف النسآ وفلقطتهن^١ تعجب الرجال ولا سيما فى الفراش كذلك كان يعجب النسآ من الرجال ترارتهم وشيظميّتهم * فلا تكاد امراة ترى رجلا على هذه الصفة الا وتقول فى قلبها عند هذا كفايتى وغَنآى * وقد لحظت العرب هذا المعنى باشتقاقهم الطَول من الطُول * غير ان النسآ على الاعم يجنين اللذات من كل مجنى ويكرعن من مواردها ما ساغ وما اغص * فمَثَلهن كمثل النحلة تجنى من الزهر وان يكن على الدمن * فامّا الغيرة فهى خلق طبيعى فى كل بشر اذا كان سليم الذوق * فان الانسان يغار على متاعه من ان ينتهكه غيره فكيف على حرمته * وما يقال من ان الافرنج ليس لهم غيرة على نسائهم فليس على اطلاقه * فان منهم من يقتل زوجته ونفسه معا اذا علم منها خيانة * نعم انهم يتساهلون معهن فى امور كثيرة ربما تعدّ عند المشرقيين قيادة * الا انها فى نفس الامر وقاية من الخيانة * اذ قد تقرر عندهم ان الرجل اذا حظر امراته عن الخروج وعن معاشرة الغير اغراها بالضَمْد * بخلاف ما اذا ارضاها بهذه اللذات الخارجية *

١ ١٨٥٥: قلفطتهن.

Riches and poverty have no bearing on the matter. A rich man is as likely to become infatuated with a poor woman as he is with a rich one. Indeed, a rich miser prefers to fall in love with a poor woman because he believes he can make her happy with only a little money. Also, as a rule, people prefer to fall in love with members of strange races so as to find out about the exotic things they imagine are peculiar to them, unless an ignorance of their language makes this impossible; when this is the case, the scope for the imagination is cramped. It is also true that men like women’s gentleness and sprightliness, especially in bed, while women like men for their young sappiness and tall, youthful strappiness. No woman can look at a man of such a description and not say in her heart, “There’s everything I need! There are riches enough for me!” The ancient Arabs recognized this fact when they derived ṭawl (“might”) from ṭūl (“height”). At the same time, however, women, for the most part, glean their pleasure from every crop and sip from its sources both sweet and sour. Such women are like the bee that gathers its nectar from the flower though the latter is on a dung heap. As to jealousy, it is an inborn trait natural to every human, providing he has good taste: a man is jealous of his material possessions being violated by another; how much more so will he be then in the case of his supposedly inviolable wife? The claim that the Franks feel no jealousy with regard to their women has no truth to it whatsoever. A Frank has been known to kill his wife and himself together on learning that she has been unfaithful. True, they give them so much free rein in many matters that Orientals might regard them as pimping them, but this contains at the same time its own protection against betrayal, for it is a given among them that should a man forbid his wife to leave the house or keep company with other men, he will prod her into taking a second lover, which he would not if he were to consent to her indulging in such pleasures outside the home.

3.2.24

ثم انه لما علم اجتماع المستعسلين اى الفرياق والبنت خلافا للعادة المالوفة ذاقت امها من ذلك مرارة الصاب * فاستشارت بعض اصدقائها فى امرها فقالوا لها لسنا نرضى بمصاهرة هذا الرجل لانه من الخرجيّين * وانت من اعزّ بيت من السوقيين وهما لا يجتمعان * فقالت لهم ليس هو من جرثومة الخرجيين بل هو دخيل فيهم * قالوا لا فرق فى ذلك فان رائحة الخرج ساطعة منه وقد ملأت خياشيمنا وحذّروها منه غاية التحذير * مع انى قد حذّرتهم وامثالَهم فى الفصل الذى مرّ من هذا الفضول * فلما علمت البنت بذلك نبض فيها نبض الخلاف وقالت ليست هذه الفروق من مصالح النسآ * وانما هى مصلحة من اتخذها وسيلة للمعاش والجاه * والمقصود من الزواج انما هو التراضى والوفاق بين الرجل والمراة * وان ابيتم ذلك فها انا انذركم انى لست من السوقيّين فى شى * فرات امها ان تغيب بها ايّاما عن ذلك المحل رجآ ان يبعثها البعد على السلوان * فهاجت حٍ جميع عواصف الهوى فى كلّ من العاسل والمعسول * واليه اشار ابو نواس بقوله * دع عنك لومى فان اللوم اغرآء * فلما رات الامّ ان لا اشارة * تمنع البنت من الاشتيارة * ولا جَزْر * يكفّها عن الجزر(١)(١) الجزر شور العسل من خليته * رجعت الى منزلها واستدعت بالفارياق وقالت له * قد علمت ان السوقيين لا يبغون مصاهرتك * فان كان عزمك على ان تتزوج ابنتى ينبغى لك ان تتسوّق ولو يوما واحدا * قال لا باس * فعلى هذا تسوّق يوم عقد الزواج وقرت عين كل منها ومن البنت *