Читать книгу Goddess Interrupted - Aimee Carter - Страница 11

I didn’t know much about being a god, but I did know gods weren’t supposed to bleed.

They could fall sick or become injured when they adopted mortal bodies for short periods of time, like Ava had done when I’d first met her in Eden and like my mother had done for the first eighteen years of my life. But one of the major perks of being immortal was not worrying about pesky things like blood and death.

“Henry!” I flew to his side, my fingers hovering above the gash in his skin. He badly needed stitches, but how was anyone supposed to heal a god? “What happened?”

He flinched as I gently rolled down his collar to expose the rest of the wound. His black shirt was wet from the blood, and without asking I began to unbutton it.

“I’ll—I’ll go get Theo,” said Ava, and she dashed out of the room, Pogo at her heels, leaving me to tend to Henry on my own.

“It is nothing,” said Henry, but the tension in his jaw said otherwise. Once I’d unbuttoned his shirt, I peeled the fabric away, exposing a cut that ran down his chest and halfway to his navel.

“That doesn’t look like nothing,” I said. “Lie down.”

Henry started to protest, but I gave him a stern look, and he caved. Once he was on his back, I hovered over him, trying to figure out something I could do to help, but he wasn’t bleeding so badly that I needed to apply pressure, and I didn’t want to hurt him more than he already was.

“How did this happen? I thought gods weren’t supposed to get injured like this.”

“Normally we are not.” The corners of his lips turned upward into a faint smile. “You look well, Kate. How was your summer?”

He was bleeding all over the bed, and he wanted to know how my summer had gone. “Compared to how my autumn’s going so far? Fantastic. Can’t I do something? You’re getting blood all over the sheets.”

The bed was the last of my worries, but it was enough to distract Henry from asking any more questions. “My apologies. I will make sure to clean it up before tonight. Theo will be here shortly, and—ah, there you are.”

I whirled around in time to see Theo enter. Most of the council had acted as staff at Eden Manor, and Theo had taken up the position of Master of the Guard. Security, I thought, but as I saw him walk through the door, towering over Ava as she snuck in behind him, I realized his role might have extended beyond that. Henry was able to heal me, he’d proven that, but apparently he couldn’t heal himself. Then again, he wasn’t supposed to be capable of getting injured in the first place.

“Where are the others?” said Theo. As I stepped out of his way, I opened my mouth to ask who the others were, but then quickly shut it. Walter and Phillip, Henry’s brothers. The same people I’d seen in my vision.

“They are coming,” said Henry. Theo set his hands over the wound, and Henry’s pained expression relaxed. “They insisted I go on ahead.”

“Are they injured?” said Theo, and Henry shook his head.

“The attack was mostly focused on me.”

I watched Theo anxiously, looking for any signs that whatever he was doing was working. At first I saw nothing, but then, after several seconds, a strange glow formed between his hands and Henry’s skin. As he passed his palms over the wound, it closed, leaving behind a faint silver line. That was all the evidence I needed to know that this wasn’t an everyday occurrence. Henry had no other scars.

“There,” said Theo once he’d finished. He fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his hands. “I would recommend taking it easy this afternoon in case there’s any damage I didn’t catch.”

“There isn’t,” said Henry as he sat up. He started to pull his shirt back on, but he must have felt how damp it was, because he set it aside. “Thank you, Theo. Ava.”

Theo wasted no time leaving, and Ava lingered behind him, her brow furrowed with concern. She jerked her head toward Henry, and I shook my head. As much as I wanted her around, now that Henry was here, there was no reason for her to stay.

I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my fingers through Pogo’s fur as Henry folded his ruined shirt. A dozen questions ran through my mind, but I didn’t know where to start, so I left it up to him. Eventually he would have to talk to me, even if he didn’t want to tell me what had really happened.

Nearly a minute passed before he spoke, and by that time I’d shoved my hands between my knees, too nervous to try to pretend not to be. “Are you looking forward to the ceremony this evening?” he said, and I gaped at him.

“We haven’t seen each other in six months, you’re covered in blood, and that’s what you want to talk about?”

He shrugged. “It is as good a topic as any.”

“No,” I said, digging my nails into my jeans. “It’s really not. Why don’t we start off with how you managed to get hurt so badly when you’re supposed to be immortal?”

He stood and headed toward a door next to my closet. When he opened it, I saw that he had a wardrobe of his own, only smaller and more monochromatic. He pulled out a black shirt that was identical to the one he’d discarded, but before putting it on, he headed over to another door. The washroom.

“I’ll help you,” I said, hopping off the bed and hurrying after him. He didn’t object, and I followed him into a large bathroom decorated in black and gold. Spotting a washcloth, I grabbed it and turned on the faucet. “I didn’t expect the Underworld to have plumbing.”

That at least got a faint smile out of him. “Ava can be very convincing at times.”

I wiped away the blood that stained his skin, taking care to avoid the thin scar that now ran down his chest. Henry stood motionless, and when I glanced up at him, I saw him staring down at me with an oddly tender look.

“What?” I said, blushing. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No,” he said, and as quickly as I’d noticed it, the look was gone. “You asked how I got this. There was a problem I had to take care of, and while there are few things that can injure my family, they are out there.”

“Like what?” I said, rinsing the washcloth out. The water turned pink as it swirled down the drain.

“Nothing you ought to be concerned about.”

Terrific. Apparently while I’d been getting a tan in Greece, he’d reverted back to the same Henry I’d met a year ago instead of the one I’d married. I glared at him. “Really? That’s all you’re going to tell me? You promised you’d never lie to me.”

“I am not lying—”

“You said you wouldn’t keep secrets from me anymore,” I countered. “So which is it? Are you going to treat me like a fragile little girl you need to protect at all costs, or are you going to treat me like your partner? Because in a few hours, I’m going to be queen of this place, and I’m never going to be able to help you rule properly if you always hold everything in. I have a right to know.”

Silence. I sighed.

“Does this have anything to do with Calliope?”

Henry tensed. “How much did your mother tell you?”

My mother knew about this? “Nothing,” I said, and when I realized I’d have to tell him about what had happened sooner or later, I grimaced. “I had a vision, I guess. I don’t know what else to call it. When James brought me down here, I suddenly saw you and Walter and Phillip fighting—something. I don’t know what it was, but you were in front of this gate, and Calliope showed up behind you and told you that it was pointless, because he was already awake.”

The silence seemed to stretch on forever. It wasn’t until I picked up the washcloth again that he replied, and when he did, he spoke with an eerie calm.

“So that is your gift, then. I had wondered.”

“Gift?” My mother had mentioned the same thing, but she’d never gotten around to explaining it.

“Along with immortality comes certain talents,” said Henry. “It varies from individual to individual, and oftentimes it coincides with what we represent. For instance, healing is not Theo’s only talent. As the god of music and poetry, he also has perfect pitch.”

He was trying to make me laugh. That had to be a good sign. I managed a small smile as some of the anxiety drained from my body. “I’m sure that comes in handy all the time.”

“It does make the entertainment during family get-togethers more bearable.”

Another moment passed in silence. That must have been what James meant by never getting lost. My mother’s ability to coax life from even the most neglected patch of land, Henry’s ability to travel great distances in the blink of an eye—how else could he have traveled through the Underworld?

“Why can I see things that are happening in other places?” I said. “What’s the use in that? Is that supposed to make me better at deciding people’s fates?”

“Yes, and it will have other uses, as well. Once you are crowned, you will begin to develop other powers,” said Henry. “I will help you as much as I am able, and over time you will learn to control them.”

So on top of learning everything else about the Underworld, I’d have to deal with uncontrollable abilities, as well. Not that the thought of being able to do godlike things wasn’t exciting, but I didn’t like the idea of having visions without warning. Not when they gave me a pounding headache after. “What are my abilities going to be?”

“I am not certain. The things Persephone could do will not necessarily transfer to you.”

My heart sank. At the rate this was going, I would never escape Persephone’s shadow. “What could she do?” I said, even though she was the last thing I wanted to talk about. “Could she see things?”

“Yes. Her other abilities were much the same as mine.” The hint of a smile appeared on his face, and I tried to convince myself that it was because the blood was nearly gone. Not because he was thinking about her. “She could travel. She also had a talent for telling a truth from a lie, and she could create, like all of us can.”

“Create?”

He held out his hand, and a moment later, a flower made of jewels appeared in his empty palm. Exactly like the ones in the garden outside. “For you.”

I took it and examined the delicate petals made of pink quartz. Nestled between them were tiny cream pearls, and the stem was made of metal that was as light as air. I touched the blossom to my nose, but smelled nothing. As stunning as it was, it wasn’t the real thing.

“My brothers and sisters and I are much more powerful than our descendants,” he said. “With each generation, the gifts grow less potent.”

My stomach churned. Our descendants, not their. Then again, Henry always grouped them together as if they were one single entity instead of six individual beings. “Do you—have kids?” I said timidly.

It was humiliating, realizing that I knew so little about him. After studying long and hard last year, I knew what the myths had taught me and what he himself had told me, but myths weren’t always accurate, and Henry had been less than forthcoming about himself. Calliope had once told me it was widely believed Henry had never slept with anyone before me, not even Persephone, but Calliope had turned out to be less than reliable.

“No, I do not,” said Henry, and I nearly choked sucking back my sigh of relief.

“Do you—” I stopped, but Henry nodded encouragingly. “Do you want to someday? A few decades or centuries from now?”

He gave me a wan smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “We will see how you feel then. I do not wish to saddle you with another responsibility you did not ask for. Now come, we must get you ready.”

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean? Did he think I didn’t want this, to be married to him and everything that came along with it?

James’s words floated back to me. This was the choice he’d been talking about, wasn’t it? He knew Henry was having doubts. He knew Henry thought he was a burden to me, or that I was going to pull a Persephone and leave him. Worse, James had tried to talk me into it.

“You know I want this, right?” I said. “No matter what anyone else has said—”

“No one else has said a word about this to me,” said Henry. “Even your mother has respected my boundaries. For once,” he added under his breath. “But this is the beginning of our rule together. We do not need to make these decisions right away.”

Our rule together, not our life together. Another distinction, but this time it wasn’t a slip of the tongue. My throat tightened. “Not when you think I might back out of it anyway, right?”

He hesitated. “I am not your captor. If you wish to leave, you may.”

“No, you’re not my captor. You’re supposed to be my husband,” I snapped. “Do you want me to leave? Do you want to rule alone or—or fade or whatever will happen to you if I go?”

I wanted him to yell at me. I wanted him to be livid. I wanted to make him feel the overpowering emotions he triggered in me when he was like this, when I was so desperate for the approval he refused to give me that I was practically tearing my hair out.

Instead he watched me with a maddeningly calm gaze and said evenly, “I would like for you to give us both some time to adjust to this. It is a new life for us both, and I wish to grow into it together rather than war. There is no need to rush. We have eternity.”

It was rational. That was the worst part about it; I had nothing to bark at him about. He was being the mature one, giving us both space to adjust to this, and I was being the one who clung to him because even though I trusted him with my life, I didn’t trust him enough to love me the way I wanted him to. And in that moment, part of me hated him for it.

“Just tell me if you want me to be here or not,” I whispered. “Please.”

He lowered his head, as if he wanted to kiss me, but he pulled away at the last second. “What I want should never dictate what you do. I want you to be happy, and so long as you are content, I will be, as well.”

That wasn’t an answer and he knew it, but I deflated and followed Henry into the bedroom, where he put on his shirt. I didn’t want to fight, either. I knew things weren’t going to be perfect, and maybe it was James’s fault for making me doubt Henry to begin with, or maybe it was the reminders of Persephone everywhere I looked, but all I wanted was a little reassurance. A touch. A kiss. A word. Anything.

I brushed my fingers against the jeweled flower in my pocket. That would have to be enough for now.

“I presume Ava showed you the closet,” said Henry. “You may pick out anything you wish to wear, though as the ceremony tonight is considered formal, something dressier than you may prefer would be more appropriate.”

“Right,” I said softly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

I hesitated. Did he love me? Was he still in love with Persephone? Did he even want me to be crowned his queen, or was I simply a stand-in for my sister? Why hadn’t he come to see me while I’d been in Greece with James?

But the courage it took for me to ask those questions had disappeared. I dug deep, trying to find some remnants of it as I imagined the inevitable six months of tension and loneliness if I didn’t, but I came up empty. Every piece of me was drenched in sick fear that Henry didn’t want me here after all, that he’d only gone along with it because my mother and the rest of the council had forced him to. That I would be to Henry what he had been to Persephone: nothing but an obligation. So I copped out. “Which dress do you prefer?”

As Henry led me into the closet to peruse the rack of formal gowns, I reached for his hand, but the moment I touched him, he pulled away. Instead he held up the silver gown I’d admired before. “What about this?”

Nausea washed over me. Maybe he’d simply reached for the dress and hadn’t realized I’d been reaching for him, but half the time he seemed to know what move I was going to make before I did. No matter how I justified it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d done it on purpose.

But continuing to fight would only give him an excuse to push me further away, and I’d had enough of that for one day. Tonight, after the ceremony, after everything was settled, then we would talk, and I wouldn’t give him the chance to walk away.

“That’s nice,” I said, forcing a smile. I took the dress, but before I could move toward the changing screen, a loud bang echoed from the bedroom, and I dropped the hanger.

James burst into the closet, stopping short when he saw me standing there with Henry. His shoulders slumped and all the air seemed to leave his lungs, and I could have sworn I saw a flash of resentment on his face. But before I could say a word, it was gone, replaced by the same blankness that had been there earlier.

“There’s been another attack.”

Henry stiffened, and any hope I had of an afternoon with him was gone. He picked up the gown and handed it to me, and one moment he was beside me, and the next he was in the bedroom.

“Tell them to continue preparations for the ceremony,” said Henry as he finished buttoning his shirt. “James and I will return before it starts.”

I stared at him. “You’re going out again? After nearly bleeding to death?”

His lips formed a thin line. “It is my duty. This will not take long.”

“What if whatever hurt you this time makes things even worse?”

“It won’t,” said Henry flatly. “Do as I say and do not worry about it. We will return shortly.”

I huffed indignantly. Do as he said? During my time in Eden, he’d given me orders to keep me safe, but we were supposed to be partners now. Bossing me around wasn’t okay. If that’s the way he was going to play it, then things were going to have to change. I wasn’t a helpless mortal anymore. And it was about time we both started acting like it.

I had no time to voice my protests. James at least had the decency to give me an apologetic look, but Henry’s expression was blank as they both blinked out of sight, leaving me alone in the bedroom. Something wrenched inside of me as I realized those might be the last words I ever heard Henry say, and I clutched the dress so tightly that the fabric threatened to rip.

“I swear,” I muttered to Pogo, “if either of them dies permanently, I am never speaking to them again.”

I may not have been in Eden anymore, but some things never changed.

Ava helped me get ready, sitting me in front of the vanity and spending nearly an hour doing my hair. I let her apply some foundation and lipstick, but I put my foot down when she tried to attack me with eyeliner and mascara.

“Come on, Kate,” she said with a pout. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You have to look absolutely ravishing, or else I would never forgive myself.”

“Are you saying I need makeup to look beautiful?” I said, and her perfectly done eyes widened.

“No, of course not! I only meant—I don’t want to make you look like a different person. I just want to make you the best you that you can be.”

“Will it make a difference in the ceremony?”

“No,” she said reluctantly, and that put an end to that.

I managed to keep my panic subdued for the next half hour or so, but when it came time for the ceremony and Henry and James hadn’t returned, it began to grow until I could no longer ignore it. What if something had happened to them? How would anyone know to help?

“This feels familiar,” said Ava cheerfully as she led me through the corridors that stretched from the private wing to what I could only assume was the public section of the palace. The walls changed from red to cream and gold, and for a moment I forgot we were in the Underworld—at least until we passed a curtained window, and I made the mistake of glancing outside.

It would have been bearable had Henry been there with me, but when Ava stopped me outside a set of double doors that reminded me strongly of the ballroom in Eden Manor, there was still no sign of Henry or James. On the bright side, I finally understood what Ava meant by familiar.

“Did Henry have Eden Manor built like this place?” I said, looking around as we waited. Everything, from the color of the carpet and the walls to the path Ava had taken to lead me here, reminded me of Eden. It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was similar enough that I couldn’t help but remember the night I’d been introduced to the council almost exactly a year ago.

“Some parts,” said Ava. “The palace is bigger, of course, but he kept the important bits.”

At least Henry would never get lost in his own home, no matter how many he had. “Do you think he’ll be back on time?”

“Of course,” she said with a breezy attitude I wished I could trade for the knot in my stomach. “He can’t miss it.”

“James would probably get himself killed so he wouldn’t have to come.” I scowled. “Why do you think they ran off like that before the ceremony?”

Ava stilled, and she didn’t quite meet my eye as she answered. “Because it’s Henry’s job.”

“It couldn’t wait?”

Her painted lips tugged downward into a frown. “You can’t expect Henry to be someone he’s not. He hasn’t been married in a thousand years. It’ll take him some time to get back into it, but when it happens, it’ll be worth it. He’s used to putting his duties first, that’s all.”

Her answer made me feel like an idiot, and my cheeks burned underneath the layer of makeup she’d wrestled onto my face. “He barely touched me,” I said, fighting to keep my voice even. “It’s been six months, and he couldn’t even kiss me hello. I don’t want him to change for me, but it’d be nice if he at least tried to let me know that he was happy to see me. I can’t—” The words caught in my throat, and it took me a second to work my way around the lump that was forming. “I can’t spend half my life with someone who doesn’t love me.”

“Oh, Kate.” Ava hugged me, taking care not to mess up my hair or makeup. “Of course he loves you. He’s never been very good with physical affection, that’s all, and he’s a man. They’re never good at realizing what we want and acting on it, especially when they’ve been alone for as long as Henry has been. Do I really have to spend the next six months making sure you know how much he loves you?”

I sniffed. “No, but it would be nice if he did.”

“Give him time,” she said. “He’s probably just nervous with all that’s happening.”

“What is happening?” I said, trying to pull away enough to look at her, but while she was being gentle, her grip was unbreakable. “What’s going on with Calliope?”

Ava tensed. “Didn’t Henry tell you?” she said in a timid voice.

“No, and if you don’t either, I’m going to rub my lipstick all over my face. And yours.”

She jumped away from me and held out her hands, as if to ward me off. “Don’t you dare. I’ll delay the ceremony if I have to.”

“I think Henry and James are already doing it for you.” I crossed my arms. “Tell me what’s going on. I have a right to know.”

She sighed. “You do, but Henry will kill me if he finds out I’ve told you.”

“Then I won’t tell him it was you.”

Ava glanced around nervously and tugged on one of her blond curls. “I’m only telling you this because Henry isn’t here to do it for me, because you really should hear it from him,” she said in a lowered voice, but I was positive she was telling me because she knew Henry wouldn’t. “Calliope escaped. Henry and Daddy and Phillip aren’t saying much about what’s going on, but—well, you saw the condition Henry was in. Obviously something bad is happening.”

Something bad enough to scar a god. “How did Henry get injured—have they said anything?”

“Said anything about what?”

I whirled around. James headed toward us, his hair a mess and his jacket torn in the shoulder, but at least there didn’t seem to be any blood this time.

“James!” I flew toward him, hair and makeup be damned. He gathered me in his arms and hugged me tightly, and I heard Ava’s strangled cry of protest. For her sake, I didn’t kiss him on the cheek. “Are you all right? What happened?”

“It was nothing,” he said. “A minor mishap. Everything’s fine.”

“You mean it didn’t have anything to do with Calliope?” I said, and James opened his mouth to answer when a second voice interrupted.

“It did.”

James winced, and he immediately let me go and stepped to the side. Henry crossed the hall toward me, and unlike James, he looked impeccable.

“Are you bleeding to death again?” I said, unable to keep the frostiness out of my voice. Henry either pretended not to notice or was too distracted to care.

“I am fine.” He nodded toward the double doors behind me. “I will escort you in. We should not keep the rest of the council waiting.”

That was the last thing I was concerned about, but when Henry offered me his arm, I took it. At this rate, it was the most contact I’d have with him all winter.

Ava and James ducked through the doors, and Henry stared straight ahead as we waited. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, looking for any signs that he’d been attacked again, but he was as composed as ever. As if having his new wife devote her life to helping him rule the Underworld was an everyday occurrence.

My chest tightened. I couldn’t make that kind of commitment if things weren’t going to change. If he wasn’t going to trust me, if he didn’t want me as his queen, then I didn’t want to do this. “Whatever’s going on with Calliope, I have a right to know.”

“You do,” he said. “I assure you, as soon as we get a moment, I will tell you everything.”

“We have a moment now,” I said. I didn’t want to fight, not on the cusp of the moment my life was going to change irrevocably forever. But that was exactly why I had to do this. “It doesn’t feel like you trust me or—or want me here, and I need to know that you do. And if you don’t, then we don’t have to do this.”

Henry hesitated. I watched him for any signs of what he was thinking, but his expression gave nothing away. “If you don’t want to—”

“I do,” I said, desperation clawing inside of me. “I want to stay. I want to do this. I want to be with you. I don’t know how to make that any clearer. But I need you to want it, too, okay? Please, just tell me you want me here so I can do this.”

I expected silence in return, and when he didn’t answer, I started to turn away from the doors.

Henry’s hand stopped me.

“Kate,” he said softly. “It has been a difficult day, and I am sorry for the worry I have put you through this afternoon. However, no matter how hard things become, no matter how much time it takes for both of us to adjust to this new life, never doubt that I want you here. You are capable and insightful, and you are better suited to stand beside me as my queen than any mortal I have ever known.”

My heart sank. His reasons were rational, but had no heart. If Henry had his way, I was certain that his queen was all I would ever be to him, but there was no point in pressing the issue. He’d answered me.

“Thank you,” I said as my voice trembled. It wasn’t enough, but he needed time, and I would give it to him. The ceremony was now though. What happened if he decided he could never love me as more than a friend after all?

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, you know.

I shook James’s voice out of my head. Not now. Not when I was about to do the single most important thing I’d ever done in my life.

And not when we were stepping into the most jaw-dropping room I’d ever seen.

It put the ballroom in Eden Manor to shame. Pillars of chiseled stone held up the high ceiling, which was made of the same quartz that ran through the cavern outside, and it lit up every inch of the great hall. Windows with heavy black-and-gold curtains rose high above my head, and a magnificent chandelier hung in the middle of it all. At least now I knew why the palace was so big. It had to be in order to house a room like this.

The click of my heels echoed with each step I took across the shimmering marble floor. Row after row of pews faced the front, as if Henry often expected a crowd, and at the end of the lone aisle of pillars were two thrones. One was made of black diamond and the other white.

This was the throne room of the Underworld.

The other members of the council sat in the front row of benches, and thankfully everyone except James wore clothing as extravagant as the dress Henry had picked out for me. At least I wouldn’t have to bear the embarrassment of overdressing on top of everything else.

“Remember to exhale,” said Henry, his breath warm against my ear, and I shivered. He was right though; somewhere between entering the throne room and reaching the end of the aisle, I’d forgotten to breathe.

Henry turned us around so we faced the council, and he nodded once in greeting. I did the same and tried to focus straight ahead, sure that if I caught anyone’s eye, my nerves would get the best of me, but eventually I had to look.

My mother sat in the center, her back ramrod-straight and her eyes shining as she watched. James sat on the very end, and from the way he slouched in his chair, I knew he didn’t want to be there. I didn’t blame him.

Everyone else seemed at least moderately interested, but before I could take it in, Henry faced me and held out his hands palms-up. I hesitated, but he gave me an encouraging nod, and I shakily set my hands over his.

“Kate.” He spoke in a normal voice, but it reverberated through the room, amplified by Henry’s power or the structure of the hall or both. “As my wife, you have consented to take up the responsibilities of the Queen of the Underworld. You shall rule fairly and without bias over the souls of those who have departed the world above, and from autumnal equinox to spring of every year hence, you shall devote yourself to the task of guiding those who are lost and protecting all from harm beyond their eternal lives.”

I couldn’t even convince Henry not to go off on suicide missions. How was I supposed to help protect every single soul in this place?

Henry’s hands grew strangely warm. A warm yellow light glowed between ours, and I bit the inside of my cheek, barely able to stop myself from pulling away. It would take me more than a few hours to get used to that sort of casual show of power.

“Do you accept the role of Queen of the Underworld, and do you agree to uphold the responsibilities and expectations of such?” said Henry.

I hesitated. This wasn’t for a year or five or even ten; this was forever. I hadn’t even decided what I wanted to major in during college, let alone what I’d wanted to do with the rest of my life, but here Henry was, giving me a choice. And for a fraction of a second, his gaze met mine, and I saw my Henry underneath the distant god in front of me. His moonlight eyes sparkled, the corners of his lips twitched upward into the faintest of smiles and he seemed to glow with warmth from the inside out. He was looking at me like he had back in Eden, like I was the only person in the world, and in that moment, I would’ve torn apart heaven and hell to make sure I never lost him.

But then he disappeared back into himself, behind the mask he wore to protect the side of him that Persephone had ripped to shreds, and reality crashed down around me. It wasn’t a real choice, was it? Everything I’d done since moving to Eden had been leading up to this moment. Henry hadn’t married me out of love, and I’d known that from the beginning. He’d married me because I had passed the tests no one else had passed, and because the council had granted me immortality. I was the only girl who had lived long enough to become his queen. What if he stayed like this for the rest of eternity? What if all I ever was to him was a friend and a partner? The way he’d been in Eden, how he’d talked to me until the small hours of the morning, how he’d seen me in a way no one else had, how he’d risked his own existence to save mine—what if I never saw that side of him again?

Then again, what if this was the proof he needed that I wasn’t going to leave him? What if this was the final push to show him that it was safe to fall in love with me completely?

I swallowed. I’d already made my decision the moment I’d married him. I loved him, and walking away and letting him fade wasn’t an option, no matter what it cost me.

I could do this. I had to do this. For Henry’s sake—for my mother’s sake. For my sake. Because in the end, without Henry, I didn’t know who I was anymore, and every night during my summer in Greece, I’d gone to sleep dreaming about what it would be like to spend the rest of my existence loving him and being loved in return. As long as I gave him a chance, this could be everything I hoped it would be. Henry was worth the risk.

As I opened my mouth to say yes, a crash shattered the silence, and the tall windows exploded, sending shards of glass hurtling straight toward us.