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This much is true: expeditions have cost me time, money, relationships and messed with sensible life plans and pension prospects. They do not make my life easy. They are selfish. But I do not regret any of them. Indeed, I regret a few that I have not done. Adventures have enhanced my life and – this is important – they have ultimately enhanced most of those things I just mentioned, too, despite the initial pain, suffering, worry, compromise and hassle. In other words, my journeys have been worth it in the long run.

When I set off to cycle round the world I did not have a job or a mortgage. I had no monthly bills to pay. So long as I did not spend all the money I had saved, I was free to do whatever I wanted, wherever I wanted, for however long I wanted. My life was simple. I look back at that younger me with enormous envy!

If you are young, free and single, now is the time to head for the hills and go do something extraordinary. Life will never be so simple again, for you are not yet entangled in the mesh of commitments that grows over the years. Save up a bit of cash, whatever you can manage, and then go do something crazy. It will enhance your CV and teach you more than most expensive tuition fees will ever do. If a future employer isn’t more inclined to give you a job because of your experiences then they’re not the type you want to be working for anyway. Skip this chapter and go now! You have no excuse.

Money and time constraints make life complicated, but with planning you can free yourself from some of the muddle. Far more binding are our relationships: husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends and families. If your other half is also itching for adventure, then things should be straightforward and exciting. You just need to start saving and start planning today. If you both save £1,000 and are happy to share a tent then you’ve got double the money and fewer outgoings.

If you’re in a relationship and both wish to travel but you have children, adventure planning becomes more complicated. But if your brood are young enough not to have an opinion, or even if they are able to express an opinion but you can still get away with saying ‘because I told you so’, then adventures are still quite achievable.

Ingrid, Sean and their 8-year-old daughter, Kate, cycled the length of the Americas. Ingrid and Sean were accomplished kayakers and trekkers before they began. This may not appear to benefit a transcontinental cycling journey. But it does in one important way: they knew what life in the wild and on the road was like, and they wanted more of it. They had the appetite. They had momentum and confidence. Theirs was not a standing start. Overcoming the inertia of normal life and generating momentum is very difficult. It can feel overwhelmingly daunting to say ‘we are going to change our life. We are going to go and do something big and bold. We will begin on this date. And right now we are going to begin to get ready by doing x, y and z.’ It’s a lot easier just to put the telly on and watch Bear Grylls.

Ingrid and Sean had to face the challenges of arranging for Kate to miss school, dealing with the concerns of well-meaning friends and family about taking a small girl on a big adventure, and managing their plans to make them compatible with helping an eight-year-old achieve a journey that most adults would be extremely jealous of!

There are challenges and potential difficulties in taking your family down an unconventional route like this, but what an education for Kate! What an achievement! What a glorious shared adventure for the whole family to remember and savour for the rest of their lives. That is worth the hassle.

Perhaps the most potentially difficult scenario is that you desperately wish to travel the world but your other half does not, and cannot be persuaded. If you’re lucky you’ll be given their blessing and the freedom to head out and do your own thing, reuniting afterwards in a lovely cocktail of happiness, rainbows and fluffy kittens.

But you may have a partner who – wonderful though they may be – does not want to join you on a trip, and does not want you to go either. This is where things get tricky. I’m not sure my dubious Agony Aunt skills will be much help, but I shall try my best!

You’ll need to mull over a few questions to help everything proceed as amicably and smoothly as possible. This is a kind, decent thing to do, of course. But it’s also your best option for being able to wangle another leave pass to go on an adventure again in the future!

Is it the time away, the money, the risk, the person you’ll be going away with, or the inconvenience of being left to juggle everything back home by themselves?

If it’s the length of time you will be away that is the problem, can you negotiate something that is acceptable for you both? Make the best of the time you’re granted and hatch a plan that is suitably short and sharp. This will rule out cycling round the world, but won’t eliminate everything.

After cycling round the world for four years, it took me a while to learn that duration is not the key measuring stick for a ‘good adventure’. There are many other ingredients to a great trip, and time is not critical to the recipe. It took me 45 days to row across the Atlantic, and a week to walk round the M25. Both were memorable experiences. I personally feel that six weeks is a good minimum amount of time to do something really significant and rewarding. Jason Lewis suggests six months – but then he did spend 13 years on his adventure! Meanwhile climbers can get up and down something special in a couple of weeks. Ultimately, it’s better to do something short than nothing at all.

If it’s not so much the absence of your lovely personality that is the problem but the absence of your useful role in sharing life’s daily chores, can you think of ways to equal up your balance sheet before or after the trip? Bear in mind that you will be perceived to be in debt on this account for the rest of your life, even long after you feel the debt has been settled! It’s the price you’ll have to pay.

If money is the stumbling block, work out between you how much money you can justify spending, then set that as your limit for the trip. You’ll still be able to do something great: doing stuff on a daft budget often makes it more fun anyway. Try pointing out how rich Bear Grylls has become from his adventures. Do not mention that almost nobody else has, though!

If it’s the risk of the adventure that’s causing friction, focus on an idea where the risk (or the perceived risk, at least) is lower. Perceived risk is an interesting concept; people often suggest to me that rowing across the Atlantic in a little boat was very dangerous. But so long as you don’t fall off the boat, it’s really not very dangerous at all, for you are in control of most of the risks. Keep the hatches closed, keep yourself tied to the boat: chances are you’ll be fine.

You might know that what you are planning is pretty safe, but the person who loves you may not. A little thoughtful compromise in this department need not dampen the adventure. There is an element of risk in every adventure, of course, just as there is some risk in driving to work each day and massive risk in sitting in front of the TV for years until your heart packs in. The most epic adventures do entail danger. The most prolific adventurers are selfish. It’s up to you to decide where you and your trip are going to lie on the spectrum.

Your choice of expedition partner can be a cause of friction. This is usually for one of two reasons.

1. Your beloved thinks your expedition buddy is a Grade A lunatic who will get you into all sorts of scrapes.

2. Your partner is jealous of your expedition partner, either because you spend waaaaay too much time chatting to each other about your impending adventure and which multi-fuel stove you should buy, or because your expedition partner is worryingly attractive.

Do your best to point out that on an expedition people are smelly, don’t change their pants for weeks, and are too tired to want to do anything except sleep when you squeeze into that too-snug tent in an evening after watching the beautiful sunset slip behind the mountains, just the two of you out there, away from the world, nobody within a thousand miles of you… Be aware that whatever you say will be construed as protesting too much. Of course, you can always suggest to your partner that they can solve this particular problem by coming along with you instead!

Finally, failing that, you’re going to have to split up. You won’t have to endure Pizza Express Couples’ Evenings on Valentine’s Day ever again. You can do all the adventures that you dream of.

But don’t blame me when you’re out in the wild, freezing cold, deeply uncomfortable, starving, scared, stinking, lonely and you find yourself questioning your dramatic decision…

WISE WORDS FROM FELLOW ADVENTURERS

SCOTT PARAZYNSKI

ASTRONAUT AND MOUNTAINEER

There are huge personal rewards in exploration, but they aren’t always enjoyed by your family, and certainly they worry for you deeply when you go away to do these kinds of things. So there is a certain selfishness, I suppose, in exploration. But if it’s done for the right reasons, if there’s some social benefit, some educational benefit... I’ve always tried to have some kind of educational outreach with the things that I’ve done. There can be some broader good as well. There’s nothing wrong with having personal satisfaction with your exploration, either. And when we do go and explore, we come back better people as well. We come back reinvigorated, I think. I came back a better parent, more appreciative of the planet, a better steward of planet Earth.

SATU VÄNSKÄ-WESTGARTH

WHITEWATER KAYAKER TURNED LONG-DISTANCE CYCLIST

[When I was pregnant] the yearning for something, a proper adventure of sorts and the need to hold on to some pieces of the old ‘I used to have a life before the kids too’ kept burning. ‘Are you really going to be away from your kids that long?’ It was an inevitable question but one which I wasn’t prepared for when it first came my way. Not so many people wondered how my main worry, the biking, would go. They wondered how I would survive without the kids. Or the kids without me.

Well, we all survived. I felt more alive than I had for a while, away from the sleep-deprived life of a parent of young kids. I enjoyed being me. Not the mum of so-and-so. Just me. And most mornings I would join my family at the breakfast table at home, virtually, via Skype. ‘Mum goes biking today?’ my little girl would ask. Yes, Mum goes biking. And apparently she was going biking too. To be a good parent or a mum, I don’t have to be with the family 24-7 every day of the year.

The kids need security, love and an example of how life could be lived. The best example I can give them is the one of the true me, the one who dreams of adventures, and goes after her dreams. The one who comes back excited with stories to tell and then takes the whole family on microadventures.

JAMES CASTRISSION

KAYAKED THE TASMAN AND TREKKED TO THE SOUTH POLE AND BACK

I looked at the managers at work who were five years ahead of me, then the partners who were 10 or 15 years older than me, and I looked at the lives they were living and I thought about what was really important to me. I just couldn’t see myself living like that. Conformity has always freaked me out a little bit, so kayaking the Tasman was a way of identifying who I was and what I was capable of doing – and just seeing a bit of the world.

Even at the time, it was the hardest decision I’d ever had to make in my life. If I had to decide now, with a young family, I don’t know if I would have had that will.

I come from a Greek family and my mum and dad had invested so much in my education and had it all planned out for me, really. You go to school, you go to uni, get a good job... To turn my back on that was almost like a bit of a slap in the face for them. Not living up to their expectations, no one understood why I was doing it. That’s what made it so difficult.

SEAN, INGRID AND KATE TOMLINSON

FAMILY CYCLING EXPEDITION FROM ARCTIC CANADA TO PATAGONIA

Sean, our daughter Kate and I cycled from Arctic Canada to the southern tip of Chile on a single bike and a tandem pulling two trailers. We were always inspired by the idea of making a very long journey. We wanted arriving somewhere new and unknown to us every evening to become part of our daily lifestyle. We feared that if we left it a few more years Kate would not want to miss out on school and her social life. This has turned out to be one thing that we were dead right about. We are lucky to get her to ourselves for one day every other weekend now and I’m glad we made the most of her pre-teen years!’

Kate offered this perspective on their adventure: ‘My parents took me away because they are crazy. They have been taking me off on adventures for as long as I can remember, although this was the longest.

‘Some of the toughest parts were also the best. The places where we had the hardest times are the moments we look back on with the fondest memories’

If I hadn’t wanted to do it, though, it wouldn’t have happened. I always get a say in the plans. I love looking back on the trip and I often think about it. It was just a way of life for two years. Some of the toughest parts of the trip were also the best parts. Like the places where we had the hardest times or felt scared are the moments we look back on with the fondest memories. I think the trip had a positive effect on my work. My Mum did schoolwork with me for about an hour every day and I had her all to myself. My Dad practised times tables with me on the bike and then asked me questions like how long it would take to get to somewhere depending on how fast we were going. As for subjects like geography and history, well, we didn’t need books because the real thing was right there in front of me. My advice to other parents if you want to travel with kids is try to do it when they are fairly young. I am 13 now and the idea of going away and leaving my friends for two years sounds much harder than back then. I think [the idea that children are not tough enough for a big adventure] is rubbish: I can tell you I was a lot tougher than my Mum and Dad!

CHRIS HERWIG

TRAVELLER AND PHOTOGRAPHER

With the arrival of our second child came the opportunity to take leave. A time for caring for our new bundle of joy, feeding him, changing his diapers and rocking him to sleep. But nowhere was it written that this could not also be a time for a bit of adventure. So we sublet our New York apartment and the four of us hit the vagabond road for a sixmonth, eleven-country round-the-world trip.

Over the six months our eleven pieces of luggage slimmed down to a large backpack and a carry-on as we slowly explored the wonders of Vietnam, Cambodia, Burma and New Zealand by train, boat, car, tuk-tuk, foot, bike, elephant and horse. We learned a great deal trying to overcome some of the challenges that came with travelling with two young kids, some of which were scary, some frustrating, but mostly fun. What to pack, where to go next, how to get there, how to make a three-year-old happy, how to keep all of us (especially the baby) safe while also having a bit of fun ourselves and proving the point that life does not have to change completely as soon as kids arrive.

KIRSTIE PELLING

6,000 MILES OF FAMILY CYCLING ACROSS THE GLOBE

An adventure is much more fun when you have kids along – in fact, in our experience they are the key to getting to know the world. They’re also often better at things than you are, as we recently found out in the Pyrenees when the kids left us way behind on the mountain.

MARK KALCH

PADDLING THE LONGEST RIVER ON EACH CONTINENT

Something like the Upper Nile and the Yangtze, which I’ll have to paddle, are two rivers that are ridiculously difficult. They have an element of danger. Decisions based on how this might affect my kids or my family will certainly have to be taken. But most of the time I am paddling in nice weather, eating as many chocolate bars as I want to, meeting really cool people and essentially just having a paddling holiday.

PAULA CONSTANT

WALKED FOR THREE YEARS FROM THE UK TO THE SAHARA

I was married when I left London. My husband and I left together. We walked the first year together. A month into the trip through the Sahara our marriage broke up. Gary left and I continued walking on my own. I don’t have a fixed opinion on whether one should do a trip with a romantic partner or not. I think it entirely depends upon the couple, the expedition, and everything. I think there are virtues to both. The first year, it meant the world to me to have a partner to walk with. And I’m not sure to this day whether or not I would have had the courage to leave on my own. Having said that, I was absolutely and utterly frustrated by the time a year had gone past. And, I would say, travel certainly heightens any trouble with a couple.

RIAAN MANSER

ROWED FROM AFRICA TO NEW YORK WITH HIS WIFE

When I look at the rowing now, I just think that [going solo] would be a step too far for me. On the topic of taking a friend with me: I think I romanticise the idea. I love the idea of taking a buddy, but that buddy would have to be a really good friend because I know what you have to go through. I’m actually glad that I took my wife, Vasti, because we did something special together. If I were to choose again, without a doubt I’d take my wife.

ANT GODDARD

DROVE AROUND THE USA WITH HIS YOUNG FAMILY

I’ve been able to work remotely while travelling, so some days I’ll have to sit in a park or coffee shop working while my wife and son get to enjoy the local sites, but work has been super-flexible and that’s definitely helped fund the trip.

GRANT ‘AXE’ RAWLINSON

HUMAN-POWERED EXPEDITIONS BEGINNING AND ENDING ON INTERESTING MOUNTAIN SUMMITS

I treated my wife even more like a princess than I normally do until she gave me permission to go on the trip!

MATT PRIOR

DROVE TO MONGOLIA IN A £150 CAR

Family-wise, my dad didn’t talk to me for a while. He thought I was being an idiot taking this risk when I had a good career [as a fighter pilot] laid out in front of me. I put this down to a generational thing: he’s used to it now and I always come back in one piece so it can’t be that bad!

SOLO OR WITH FRIENDS?

WISE WORDS FROM FELLOW ADVENTURERS

SEAN CONWAY

SWAM THE LENGTH OF BRITAIN, CYCLED ROUND THE WORLD

I think the benefits of travelling alone include… The freedom to change plans whenever you like and you get to live the adventure you want to live. If I had to choose, I prefer travelling alone because I often like to do long days, which isn’t for everyone.

SHIRINE TAYLOR

CYCLING ROUND THE WORLD

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…Learning more about yourself and gaining a sense of independence. When you are alone you realise that you can get through any situation. You are also able to truly figure out who you are and what you want when you are solely focused on yourself.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

It’s impossible to explain to an outsider how it feels to sleep in a slum, or to cycle up a two-day pass, so it’s nice to have someone alongside you who gets it.

You have someone to cuddle up with at night!

If I had to choose… That’s a hard one. I absolutely love travelling alone and will definitely be doing more of it throughout my life, but now that I have found ‘my person’ I wouldn’t give him up for the world. I think it’s important for everyone to travel alone at least once since it’s such an eye-opening, incredible experience.

ANNA HUGHES

BOTH CYCLED AND SAILED 4,000 MILES AROUND THE COASTLINE OF GREAT BRITAIN

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…

People tend to offer help more if you are travelling alone.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

Sharing the views makes them more real, somehow. If I had to choose, I would go alone, because I am fiercely independent and want to do things my way! And the satisfaction of accomplishing something by yourself is wonderful.

HELEN LLOYD

ADVENTURES BY BIKE, HORSE, RIVER AND ON FOOT

The advantages of going with someone else include…

It’s safer to go places that would be difficult or more dangerous alone.

If I had to choose, I would go alone because of the freedom, but it’s still easy enough to find someone to do stuff with if I want to. So it’s the best of both worlds.

JAMIE MCDONALD

RAN 5,000 MILES ACROSS CANADA

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…Embracing the adventure, and everything around you more. You only have to focus on one person: you. Selfishly, that can be nice.

IAN PACKHAM

CIRCUMNAVIGATED AFRICA BY PUBLIC TRANSPORT

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…Gaining a much better, deeper insight into and interaction with locals and local life.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

Adopting new ideas and picking up new skills from that person. Sharing costs!

If I had to choose, I would go alone, simply for the ease of being able to go without any pre-planning.

DAVE CORNTHWAITE

SKATEBOARDED ACROSS AUSTRALIA

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…

Faster decision-making and less scope for quarrels or bother.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

They’re always going to be better at me than some/most of the things I’m capable of, which can make a difference to certain elements of a trip.

In the right team, two people can do the work of three (sometimes six can be less effective than one, though).

If I had to choose… I’d go alone. All things considered, I’ve enjoyed my solo trips better, and most of the unhappy memories I have from my journeys have been due to other people. I’ve done two trips with support teams. The first one, by skateboard, had three vans. I still don’t have a driver’s licence at the age of 34, but I bought my first three vehicles when I was 26! I don’t think I’m ever again going to do a thousand-mile expedition with a big team. It can be quite problematic. So I’m going to keep it small or solo from now on.

SARAH OUTEN

ROWED THE INDIAN OCEAN ALONE

I think the benefits of travelling alone include… You are in charge and you make it happen your own way, at your own pace.

You only have your own cabin farts to endure.

The beauty of solitude and peace is sublime.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

You do not have to make all the decisions, although compromise is required.

There’s someone else to help keep you safe, and having someone to focus on in times of need is a positive thing for me.

If I had to choose… Alone is your journey, in your style, and your pace and you can be totally open to the magic that will happen. Together can be magical, too. For me, it depends on the journey and goal and what’s needed to make it happen.

BEN SAUNDERS

SOLO TO THE NORTH POLE AND A 2-MAN RETURN JOURNEY TO THE SOUTH POLE

The hardest thing about solo expeditions – big, long ones – is the knowledge that no one else can ever, or will ever, know what it was like. In some ways, that’s very precious and very special, but in other ways, it’s frustrating when you try to explain the experience to others.

TOM ALLEN

LONG-DISTANCE CYCLIST AND FILM-MAKER

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…

Allowing your mind to unwind entirely from the utter lunacy of everyday life.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include… Having another person there to take photos of you looking heroic.

If I had to choose, I would go alone because an experience that is entirely your own will be a better teacher.

When we – I say ‘we’ because it was me and my best mate at the start – set off together it gave us the confidence to set off at all. That was definitely the biggest thing about planning it with a friend: we gave each other moral support, we enabled each other to get started. I can’t say if I would have done it if I’d been alone. I like to think that I would have done, because my life circumstances at the time were either to go travelling or suffer miserable, unfulfilling office jobs for the rest of my life.

But I did end up on my own as well and the experience couldn’t have been more different. Of all the things you could change about an experience, the difference between being alone and being with someone else is the biggest.

I think if someone’s too nervous to start something on their own, finding a friend to do it with will definitely help. I would just say be very careful about making sure that the friend has the same overall expectations for what the trip’s about, because it’s when people have differing expectations that things start getting difficult.

JASON LEWIS

FIRST HUMAN-POWERED CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF THE WORLD

Travelling alone is wonderful because you can do exactly what you want. If you want to travel or you want to ride your bike five miles and then stop and take the rest of the day off, you can. I’ve travelled alone for long periods, and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not very good on my own, I actually unbalance.

I do prefer to be at least with one other person. Three is the ideal number, I think, because you get to share the experience. When you’re on your own, it can become quite morbid, but it’s a little too indulgent, I think. After about a month of being alone, you have no real way to appreciate, perhaps, what you’re seeing, what you’re experiencing, because you don’t have another mirror near to you to reflect some of what you may be taking for granted.

LEON MCCARRON

LONG-DISTANCE CYCLIST, WALKER, FILM-MAKER

I think the benefits of travelling alone include…

The vulnerability of a solo traveller often encourages more people to come and speak to you, while a pair or a group can look self-sufficient.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

Having a creative and decision-making sounding board, another perspective and opinion, and someone to see things you may be blind to.

If I had to choose, I would go with someone else because I like the company, and as someone who tries to film adventures, having a second person is invaluable logistically and creatively. I have no real desire to do very long trips on my own anymore. When I was young and wanted to prove myself (to myself and to the world) I needed to travel alone, but now I mostly find myself very dull.

STEVE DEW-JONES

HITCH-HIKED THE AMERICAS

I think the benefits of travelling alone include: More space to think. Learning to be alone.

I find travelling solo quite lonely. Whenever I go somewhere new, I want to be able to share my thoughts with someone and to see if they feel the same way about the place. And I hate eating alone.

MATT PRIOR

ADVENTURER, FORMER FIGHTER PILOT

I think the benefits of travelling alone include:

Freedom to attach or detach yourself to or from groups without any ill-feeling. It’s easier to take risks.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include:

You don’t have to always introduce yourself and tell people the same story day in, day out: this gets old after a while.

If you’re on a road trip, it’s definitely worth going with a friend. Saying that, this can make or break your trip, so choose carefully. Doing a trip with someone else can create a very strong bond for life, but I have also known of best friends return and never speak again. There are people all over the place who are keen for randomness, so don’t think if you can’t find someone straightaway that you’re going to be lonely!

TIM MOSS

MOUNTAINEER, ADVENTURER, CYCLIST

I think the benefits of travelling alone include:

For me, travelling solo is a much more powerful experience. That sounds a bit melodramatic but there’s something about being on your own all the time, making every little decision by yourself and living through all these experiences without anyone around with whom you can share them.

Whilst the advantages of going with someone else include…

The highs and lows are mellower by virtue of being shared and, generally, I’d say it is easier and a lot more fun.

If I had to choose… I don’t think recommending one over the other is illuminating. If you want to test yourself, push yourself and have a deeper experience, I’d suggest going solo. If you’d rather enjoy yourself (assuming you have a good partner) and have your problems halved, go with someone else.

OLLY WHITTLE

CANOED DOWN THE MEKONG

I do most of my adventures alone and I think it’s actually more of a challenge to do them in a group, so that’s what I might plan next. Also, I think a pair is completely different from alone and a group. A pair may fall out big time, which I think is less likely in a three or more.

I think the benefits of travelling alone include:

It’s easier to actually get started.

No responsibilty for others’ safety (if you mess up, it’s only you that’s in trouble).

You don’t have to worry whether everyone is enjoying themselves (adventures are rarely pure fun).

It’s scarier, there’s a bigger sense of stretching yourself.

If I had to choose for my next adventure, I would go in a group because I’ve already done loads alone so it will give me new challenges. I probably wouldn’t choose a pair.

DOM GILL

CYCLED THE AMERICAS ON A TANDEM, PICKING UP PASSENGERS EN ROUTE

I still love the idea of doing solo journeys. There is something very viscerally primeval about them. I like the introspection. And actually, I become a little addicted to the sort of low-level depression that I experience on those trips. You get very lonely, and when you’re lonely, you think very profoundly about all sorts of aspects of life. It may be depressing, but I’m able to think creatively and write and expand upon ideas. I love that aspect of solo travel. And there’s always the bravado aspect of getting through it, getting through to the other side and talking about the fact that you did it on your own. Especially as a male, I think that’s a little attractive. Doing stuff with companions, I think, is more conducive to learning life lessons. Having to mix with all these new people who moments ago were strangers gives me a very refreshing understanding of people. And I like to think that increases my ability to communicate with the world around me.

COLIN WILLOX

BACKPACKED ROUND EUROPE

There is an unwritten bond between lone travellers. It’s called ‘Holy shit, let’s be friends’, and its participants are not those who turn their head away when you walk in the door, but the ones who keep looking and maybe flash you a smile. You make friends so fast on the road. It’s unbelievable.

ANDREW FORSTHOEFEL

WALKED 4,000 MILES ACROSS THE USA

I felt less lonely than I thought I would. But there were times, of course, when I felt lonely, when you’re having these moments of, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m experiencing this’ and I don’t get to share it with anybody. I think maybe as human beings there’s this natural desire to communicate and tell our stories to each other and revel in these experiences together. Not being able to do that in the moment was hard sometimes. But I think it made those moments when you could share something with somebody much more special. I think the solitude and sometimes loneliness – but just that aloneness – really accentuated those times when I was hanging out with people.

JESSICA WATSON

SAILED SOLO ROUND THE WORLD, AGED 16

Sharing adventures with friends is really amazing and a good way to get to know someone well, but there’s also something very special about having an adventure all to yourself. Maybe it’s a little selfish but there’s something wonderful about a special moment being all yours.

TIM HOBIN

PADDLED THE GANGES IN A £50 KAYAK

When I think back now, highlights include pushing off onto the river through the cool and fragrant early morning mist as the sun rose and the delicious solitude that solo travel brings.

NIC CONNER

CYCLED FROM THE UK TO JAPAN FOR £1,000

My friend gave up in Russia. We’re still really good mates. It doesn’t really matter how fit you are, it’s the mental determination, and I think he wasn’t as committed as I was. He did well – he cycled to Russia and then he cycled home. In the time it took me to get from Moscow to Tokyo, he had cycled home via southern Europe, met a girl, moved in with her and started a business with her. John was an experienced cyclist and had done a lot of tours so it was great to have him around, especially in the first couple of months. But, if it was tomorrow, I’d start by myself.

JAMES CASTRISSION

KAYAKED THE TASMAN SEA

Some advice I got back when I was having a big difficult patch with [my expedition partner] Jonesy, a friend said to me, ‘Look, even if you are responsible for 80 per cent of the project, 80 per cent is not going to get you to the start line.’ And that’s with me operating 24 hours a day. So if Jonesy only did 20 per cent that was enough. But on the trip itself, that’s really where Jonesy’s strong point is. He more than made up for everything out on the trip itself.

KYLE HENNING

TRAVELLED FROM THE LOWEST POINT IN AFRICA TO THE HIGHEST

I called the trip a ‘solo’ expedition, but part of why I did it was to meet people whom I would end up depending on. Welders, mechanics, waiters, drivers and simply kind-spirited people along the way made the expedition possible. I didn’t realise it until afterwards, but I was seeking that connection in my life.’

IT MIGHT BE EASY FOR YOU, BUT FOR ME…

‘It’s OK for you to go off on these big adventures,’ I sometimes hear people cry. ‘I’m not as male, fit, rich, young or handsome as you.’

OK, I made the last bit of that sentence up, but the rest I do regularly hear. And it’s probably not a coincidence that most of the people who do really big, really crazy adventures are male, fit, young, single and not poor.

But I do believe that anyone can do big and bold journeys. I know that you do not need to be athletic, brave or rich, for I am none of those things myself!

Women frequently ask my opinion on whether an expedition is suitable for a female to do. Here are reflections on that subject from some of the adventurers I interviewed who are more qualified than me to answer:

HANNAH ENGELKAMP

WALKED ROUND WALES WITH A DONKEY

Partly, I think that if you go out into the world wide-eyed and enthusiastic and smiley, people respond in that way. Nothing bad happened to me but, you know, I was in Wales and there are much scarier places that one could adventure.

CANDACE ROSE RARDON

DROVE AN AUTO-RICKSHAW 1,900 MILES ACROSS INDIA

What I say to other women who are thinking about going travelling on their own is, ‘The concerns never go away. You never stop thinking about things that could go wrong.’ You know, I really enjoy it. I think being on my own is an invitation for people to connect with me. I think when they see a woman on their own, people generally want to help you and protect you.

SHIRINE TAYLOR

TWO-YEAR CYCLE TOUR THROUGH ASIA AND SOUTH AMERICA

As a woman you may be afraid to embark alone, either camping or to a foreign country, but once you begin you realise just how much easier it is for us girls. The reason I have been taken in by countless families in every country is because the women in those countries don’t see me as a threat, but as a friend. I absolutely love adventure, and being a female will only spur me on, not stop me.

KERRY O’NEILL

RODE THE ‘GRAND TOUR’ FOR A GRAND

I am quite a wuss but because I did this one thing one time, now people think I am some kind of intrepid explorer, and I am truly not. I thought I would be scared camping on my own. That was my main fear, but it turns out that I wasn’t at all. It was always somewhere gorgeous. Food was basic because I was on a budget, but having some peace and quiet at the end of a night in a tent was absolute bliss and I didn’t worry about kidnap or anything.

TEGAN PHILLIPS

CYCLED THROUGH SPAIN AND AFRICA

Being female was sometimes helpful and sometimes infuriating. People were definitely more willing to let me into their homes and help me when I needed help – I think if I had been a guy people would have been a little more suspicious. This is the upside of gender stereotypes. At the beginning there were times when I felt like there were certain things that I couldn’t or shouldn’t do because I was a girl travelling alone and that feeling was incredibly frustrating. I had one really terrible harassment experience and I was a bit shaken after that, but as I grew more confident in terms of figuring out how touring and camping actually worked it became much less of an issue. Otherwise, being female had nothing to do with anything – it turns out adventuring has no gender.

ROSIE SWALE-POPE

RAN ROUND THE WORLD

It’s rubbish! For any age, any gender, some things are more doable than others. But I believe that a woman travelling alone is safer. You have to obey the laws of the wild, certainly – to be polite and tidy, to pay your own way, to act unafraid. I’ve had murderers in Siberia teach me how to light fires. I’ve been to places far too dangerous for men to travel to – they’d have been shot. But I’m not a threat, so again and again I have been OK. And I’m happy, too, and that radiates to people. There are lots of great lady travellers – Freya Stark and so on – it’s not a man’s game. Life is anybody’s game. Whatever you choose to do, you just need to start. I met a man recently; he was longing to travel and I just said, ‘Go on then! Get going!’

SARAH OUTEN

CYCLED, KAYAKED AND ROWED ROUND THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE

I guess I do meet women, quite a lot of women, who ask, ‘Is it safe? Did you feel safe? I can’t do it’, and I think, compared to guys, women are often held back by the negative chatter. Mostly people are very friendly and keen to help you. There are no hurdles to stop people having adventures, apart from being dead, really. I think that’s true of anything in life, isn’t it?

PAULA CONSTANT

WALKED THE SAHARA WITH CAMELS

Being a woman is an advantage. In many, many cultures around the world it will help, so don’t be afraid to be a woman. Don’t get me going on this! But one thing that many women do in adventure is try to compete with the boys. Well, we’re women. We travel differently. Embrace it. In most parts of the world, it works to your advantage to be not only a woman, but a beautiful woman, as feminine as you like. Don’t play on that. Don’t be a victim, but rather, stand in your magnificence, I would say. Nomadic cultures have nothing but the greatest of respect for strong women. If you can remain smiling and gentle, but strong at the same time, you are at a distinct advantage to your male equivalent, whom the local men will see as a threat. They’ll see you as something to be fascinated by. And that can usually be an advantage. Yes, occasionally you’re going to be sexually harassed, like every other day. But it all comes down to how you deal with that. And dealing with it, the biggest piece of advice I would give you is the same the world over. You’re polite and civil, but you’re much like a Jane Austen novel, with Mr Collins, you know, you’re polite but firm.

HELEN LLOYD

CYCLED THE LENGTH OF AFRICA

I find it amazing that in today’s society we still make such a differentiation between the sexes. What I do is no more dangerous than if I were a man. Mostly, the risks are the same and as long as you take sensible precautions (as anyone would when travelling) then there shouldn’t be any problems. Of course, you may get unlucky and end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, but being a woman shouldn’t make any difference. The only additional risk as a woman, is that of ‘unwanted advances’ from men, but that isn’t necessarily a problem confined to the realms of travel. Actually, in many ways, I think being a woman is an advantage. Most people in this world are good and want to help. Perhaps they see me as a woman and think I may need help, or protecting. As a woman, I am sure I appear more approachable, less intimidating, than a man. And in some cultures, being a woman means you’ll be invited into all kinds of situations that a man never would.

JESSICA WATSON

AROUND THE WORLD SOLO SAILOR

I like to think of myself as first a person and second a girl. Maybe it’s because I’m young and grew up in a family that never treated my sisters and me any differently to my brother. But I struggle to understand why women shouldn’t go on as many adventures as men.

Some of the most inspiring people I spoke to were elderly. Granted, their physical fitness may be beyond the norm for ‘old-age pensioners’, but their enthusiasm and spirit are inspirational for anyone who fears that their adventuring years may be behind them:

KU KING

EXPLORING THE PLANET WITH A PROGRESSIVELY SMALL BACKPACK

One of the things that we have noticed in many years of travel is the increasing number of older independent travellers on the road. Travel is no longer the domain of gap-year students. There are people of all ages out there creating their own unique adventures all around the planet. Nowadays, the economic situation means that redundancy (often with an attractive financial package) is an option for many. Instead of investing in a new kitchen or adding a conservatory, some people are grabbing life by the throat and booking year-long round-the-world tickets. When you are in your twenties, the years stretch ahead of you like a blank canvas. You have all the time in the world. When you hit your forties, and more so your fifties, you become aware that time is limited. We still have an abundance of travel dreams to realise, and we are determined to make them come true before arthritis sets in!

ROSIE SWALE-POPE

RAN ROUND THE WORLD IN HER SIXTIES

Age is one of the worst things. Most of my friends now are younger than my daughter. But as people get older they need to ask themselves ‘who am I?’ and ‘what do I want?’ Life is not a rehearsal! People just give up. There are so many real barriers in life that we should stop making false ones. Don’t make yourself get stuck. It’s a well-off people’s problem: poor people in the world just get on with life when they are older. We give up. Of course, people are different biologically and there’s a reality to ageing. When Paula Radcliffe is old she won’t be able to run as fast, but she can do something different and amazing instead. I’m 68, but I’m overjoyed to be the age I am, to be who I am. You can be 21 and 68. I haven’t grown up yet!’

SVEN YRVIND

75-YEAR-OLD SAILOR, ONCE SAILED ROUND CAPE HORN IN A 20-FOOT BOAT

When I was young I worked 8am to 10pm on my projects. But I’m getting older now, so I am slower. But that’s OK: I am enjoying building the boat. It’s interesting. I’m more knowledgeable now, more patient as well. The mind wanders. I try new things [design details for the boat]. They often don’t succeed. I try again, I try something else.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, young people often worry that they are too inexperienced to set out on a big journey. Everyone needs to begin somewhere, though, and these adventurers demonstrate that age is no barrier to accomplishing extraordinary feats:

TEGAN PHILLIPS

CARTOONIST AND CYCLIST

I am 21. I think my age actually worked to my advantage because, for me anyway, one of the biggest parts of adventuring is unlearning a lot of things that you didn’t even realise you had been taught. A lot of the time I would think things like, ‘Oh no, I can’t wash my hair in a restaurant bathroom, it just isn’t done’. And then I would think, ‘why the hell not?’ Where did I even get all of these silly ideas from in the first place?

ANDY WARD

WALKED ACROSS EUROPE, FROM THE UK TO ISTANBUL

You’ve got to start somewhere. You don’t need experience. Everyone has walked a certain distance, chatted to random people they meet along the way and set up a tent in the ditch, or asked a farmer to camp in their field. It’s just a case of getting up and getting on with it. I’d been a little worried about getting a job afterwards until I was halfway through my walk and I got two emails from two different investment banks in London. Both asked me to come and work for them. I’ve never applied for a job with a bank before. They had just heard about the walk and the blog, and they got in touch. I spoke to them and said, ‘Why on Earth would you want me? You don’t even know my CV or anything else.’ They said, ‘We’ve got enough Cambridge students. We want interesting people. We want people who can talk to clients and talk about interesting things.’

SARAH OUTEN

ROWED THE INDIAN OCEAN

I guess there’s a bit of naivety that comes in at the age of 21. You think you can take on the world, all of these things. I saw it very simplistically. I can’t think what the right word is, but I looked at other big expeditions and I thought, ‘Well, this isn’t rocket science. It’s just a big project and if I chopped that project down then I can make it happen.’

JESSICA WATSON

SAILED SOLO ROUND THE WORLD

It’s incredible how low our expectations of young people can sometimes be. As I was preparing to sail around the world I constantly came up against people who just assumed that a young girl couldn’t do such a thing. I don’t know why we automatically think something’s not possible rather than looking at how it might be achieved.

ANDREW FORSTHOEFEL

WALKED ACROSS THE USA

I graduated from college with a ton of questions, unsure of what I wanted to do, and figured I’d try to create around myself a situation that would help me engage those questions. I thought I might go abroad for a little bit but then I got fired from a job and didn’t have the money I thought I would have. So I figured I’d just start walking and keep it simple. I wore a sign that said, ‘Walking to Listen’. The idea was to get people curious and hopefully they’d stop and share a story or a piece of advice. And that was pretty much it. I had a few basic rules: walk every mile that was possible to walk. And camp out more often than not because that’s all I could afford.

BELINDA KIRK

ROWED AROUND BRITAIN

I had towed the line, worked hard at school and felt that I had done what I was obliged to do for my parents, friends, society, etc. So, completely against my parents’ wishes, I told them I was going to Africa to study monkeys and have an adventure for a year before getting back on society’s merry-go-round and going to university and all that jazz. It was without doubt the best step I’ve ever taken, bar none.

Some people say the first step is the hardest. I think it can also be the easiest. Because really it’s a no-brainer if it’s what you want to do more than anything else. I started as part of an organised expedition. I paid to be there – when you have zero experience to offer anyone then I think you should expect to pay to build that experience. I also knew I wanted to be part of some zoological fieldwork and couldn’t have done anything meaningful on my own.

KELLY DIGGLE

CYCLED A LAP OF ICELAND

I panicked at the realisation that, age 22, I was settling down to a life of conformity. It had just become a norm. I turned my back on pouring coffee for a living, sold the car, waved goodbye to my relationship and left Cornwall. I had no idea where I was headed. All I knew was that I had this burning desire to do something. I wanted to travel, to absorb culture, to meet all sorts of people and to purposely step outside of my comfort zone. After all, I was young, commitment-free and, let’s face it, a little bit naive. So far in my experience, these three things have favoured me extremely well.

SVEN YRVIND

PLANNING TO SAIL ROUND ANTARCTICA

My advice for young people considering their first adventure is, don’t trust the grown-ups! You need courage. You have to be a rebel.

A few years ago I rowed from England to France with Phil Packer, a disabled soldier. Two contrasting memories stand out from that experience. The first was that so many things that are easy for me – that I do not even think about – are either difficult or impossible for disabled people. Daily life is so much harder. On the other hand, disabled people are used to discomfort and difficulty, and this is perfect expedition training! I was on that row in order to help Phil, but I was so seasick that I was actually pretty useless and Phil did just about everything for me! If you think that your physical condition may limit your adventurous ambitions, read these interviews:

JIMMY GODDARD

HAND-CYCLED UP KILIMANJARO

About a month after the rock-climbing accident which left me paralysed from the chest down I was lying in my bed in Stoke Mandeville Hospital. What I really wanted more than anything else was to get back into the mountains and the open air and away from the ‘disability’ that surrounded me at Stoke Mandeville. Having a massive challenge to focus on again really got me moving forward. Travelling to Massachusetts to test-ride the bike and then later to Arizona to train with a friend on the moonscape terrain similar to Kilimanjaro, plus training here in the UK, gave me that sense of purpose and focus that I really enjoy. This was extremely cathartic after the accident. So many people have done so many extraordinary things these days that it’s nearly impossible not to find somebody who has done something similar to what you might be planning. So get on the internet and look for inspiration. Don’t be shy. Approach people and get advice. Most adventurers I’ve met make a point of being really helpful to new people trying to get into the scene. And finally, dream big but start small; learn the processes – kit, funding, planning – and work your way up to something epic!

KAREN DARKE

TWO DECADES OF EXPEDITIONS BY BIKE, SEA KAYAK AND SIT-SKI

I have no idea how my life would have been if I hadn’t ended up paralysed all those years ago. Certainly I’m sure I would have got more into climbing and big mountain/greater range stuff, but who knows? It’s a bit like that film Sliding Doors where one decision or incident totally changes the course of your life. I can’t know what direction my life would have gone in if I had survived the climbing accident with my spine intact. The stuff I’ve done since becoming paralysed has been about who I am deep down as a person – with a love of adventure, sport and the outdoors. I think people find it more surprising or inspiring or something because I happen to be paralysed. But for me I just feel fortunate to still be able to do things I love (albeit in an alternative way), and for great friends and companions without whom most of the adventures I’ve experienced would never have been possible. There was a time when I was first paralysed when pushing my wheelchair around the hospital grounds was a big adventure (no joke) – kind of a mini-expedition. When I’ve felt really daunted by a forthcoming adventure, I find it helpful to write down all my fears of likely problems. Then I try to think of one thing I can do, no matter how small or silly it might seem, to make myself feel more optimistic. For example, on the expedition skiing across the Greenland ice cap, I bought a fish-tank thermometer which has two temperature gauges, so that I could keep an eye on the temperature of my foot and my hip [as I have no feeling there, I cannot know if they are becoming cold], and reduce the risk of getting frostbite. I also carried a rape alarm in case we met polar bears as I understood they don’t like loud noises and I felt the most vulnerable of the team. Maybe they were crazy solutions, but they built my confidence, helped me overcome some fears and therefore made the whole adventure seem just a bit less daunting.

Many of the people I spoke to are serial adventurers – they’ve been doing this stuff for years and may even be able to make a living out of what they do. But everyone has to begin somewhere. We were all novices once. If you have not done a big trip before, don’t be disheartened or feel that you need to limit your ambitions. Many, if not most, of the people I’ve chatted to in this book had very little idea what they were getting themselves into at the beginning. If you have the nerve to begin, the nous to learn and the capacity to persevere, you’ll probably achieve whatever journey you set your mind to.

NIC CONNER

CYCLED TO JAPAN ON £1,000

The year before I went to cycle a bit of the Ridgeway – that was one overnight – but that was my only experience. It was quite a spur-of-the-moment thing to do. I like my sport, but I wouldn’t call myself athletic. I certainly carry a bit of weight. You know, I have love handles, I like drinking beer, I quite like a burger now and then. I wouldn’t say I have a nutritionist or am out at 5am every morning training.

INGRID, SEAN AND KATE TOMLINSON

CYCLED THE AMERICAS

Other than buying the bikes and trailers and our tickets, we pretty much made up the rest as we went along. I think with a trip like this there’s only so much preparation you can do. If you waited until you were 100 per cent ready, and had researched everything you needed to know, you would probably never set off! We didn’t have enough money to buy fancy cycling gear. When we first packed the trailers and pannier bags (in Inuvik itself!) we realised that we were hopelessly overloaded and had to give half our gear away.

TEGAN PHILLIPS

CYCLED THROUGH SPAIN AND AFRICA

I had no experience, no GPS, no set route, no sense of direction, no foresight and no coordination, which meant that I spent more time than not with absolutely no idea where I was. I fell off my bike at least once a day. I was attacked by wasps and thorn bushes and stationary poles. We never spent more than one night in any place. We camped under bridges, on private property (with permission), on private property (without permission), with friends of friends of friends, with people who just happened to be there when we couldn’t go on any more. But in the end I turned up in Alicante, which shows that if I can do it then anyone can. All you really need to do is this: Cycle. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

MATT EVANS

TRAVELLED OVERLAND FROM THE UK TO SAIGON

I guess that if I was giving anyone advice on how to make the trip of a lifetime happen, it would be to take a deep breath and do something concrete that means it has to happen. We can all talk about what we want to do and make it sound convincing, but until you’ve actually passed a tipping point to make it happen – something that can’t be undone – then it’s all just dreams and window-shopping. Personally, I find dreams unfulfilling and window-shopping frustrating. So, take the plunge. Do something permanent and immovable. Once you’ve done that, you’ll find a way to make the rest fall into place.

OLLY WHITTLE

PADDLED THE MEKONG AND CROSSED FROZEN LAKE BAIKAL ON FOOT

I set out utterly bricking it. I had pretty much no canoeing experience. I hadn’t been able to find a life vest and I had no idea if my canoe was river-worthy. It felt pretty unstable and it leaked more than I thought it should do. But I had half an old plastic carton to bail it out with – which later also served as a urinal on the go. The feeling of saying ‘here goes nothing!’ impossible to replicate back at home in our normal, sanitised, risk-free lives.

JAMIE BUNCHUK

LIVED WITH INDIGENOUS HUNTERS IN TAJIKISTAN AND MONGOLIA

The single most practical thing a person can do to make an adventure happen is to book their flights to that country. Then you’re committed; everything else you’ll just have to work out and hopefully get right. Don’t wait for everything to be nailed down to the last detail before you commit, because an adventure can never be completely planned. At some point you’re just going to have to jump into the deep end. Book the trip and you’ve already made the leap.

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