Читать книгу Trilateral Damage - Alexander Noir - Страница 3

CIVILIZED HUNTING

Arian: And Lu wanted to stop it. When we were waiting in the hotel in Mitte, at this noisy rooftop bar with all the people, she wanted to cancel.

“I just feel strange about this,” she’d told me. From today’s perspective, yes… I had pushed her into this. And yes, she’d just agreed to do this for me. And now she wanted to stop.

Okay, I knew that her intuition is like a Swiss clockwork: Always right. But hey, this was my dream finally coming true, right? I had arranged everything, found Mila online, fixed a date, booked this hotel, now I was so close! And all of a sudden Lu wants to quit? For what? A feeling? What should I have done at that moment?

Lu: Quite easy. As always, more use of your head, less of your dick, dickhead. I mean, what is that? A date with some online slut? That’s your dream? Really?

Arian: Why slut? She wants fun, some erotic adventure, that’s all.

Lu: Negotiating sex with complete foreigners online, that’s fun for you? Just because all you digital junkies have forgotten how to date right, you order sex like a pizza and then think, “Whoa, cool, what a great erotic adventure I’ve just googled!”

I consider erotic adventures as something with style… Two people meet, get vibes going, build up atmosphere, get in the mood, talk, fuck.

First brain, then dick, understand?

Not the other way around, like half of Berlin seems to do: Urban quantity sex.

I mean, what kind of weirdo meets foreigners in a hotel for anonymous fucking, risking to get raped and killed?

That’s sick. Not just her, both of you. By “online slut”, I mean also you.

I don’t Tinder to get laid - that’s your style, not mine.

Arian: But to get laid, online is the easiest way. Why can’t a woman just use the most efficient way to get sex? Why does this reduce her value?

Lu: It’s not about “value”, you macho! It’s about… why a poor girl has to search for sex online? And how often do you need this? Are your sex dates so bad that you have to get new ones every week?

C’mon, go out, find someone you like, under normal circumstances, build some kind of bond and then have good sex – often! That’s an erotic adventure, not anonymously fucking around with changing internet dates.

Arian: She probably would have had sex with us, even without the online dating procedure. And what do you mean with “normal circumstances”? Us, going to a bar, getting drunk? Then we introduce ourselves and ask her, “Hey, we don’t know each other, but let’s talk a bit, see if we can build up an erotic atmosphere together and then, what about a threesome?” That’s your style? Really? That we get drunk together first, so that it feels “normal” to agree on sex?

Lu: We don’t go to bars to search for dates. And we don’t get drunk. I still have some dignity.

Arian: That’s what I want to explain! That’s why my strategy was the only one with some dignity for all of us.

Lu: Dignity? Your penis doesn’t have any dignity. You are a pervert, willing to risk your relationship for a dream that can’t become reality anyhow. I believe in the one-on-one-model. I am not into polyamory; you knew this from the beginning. I warned you that I might leave you after this…

Arian: Yes, you did. And yes, a pervert. But a pervert that loves you. And you are wrong; it did become reality that night! When I saw you lifting her legs up, spreading them and then sliding your fingers inside her, man, she moaned like a wild animal… And her glowing eyes fixated on mine, all the time…

Lu: I don’t know what you are talking about, I never did that!

Arian: You know you did!

Lu: Can’t be. No comments without my lawyer.

Arian: So much for your one-on-one-model!

Lu: All I say is that everybody thinks that fucking more with more people is having better sex. For men, this seems to be a genetic standard since ages. But now women start participating in this race for penetration, like, “hey, my pussy is trending now, I collect fuck-dates, my ass got 300 followers!” That’s an instagrammable sex culture, and girls follow it, not because they are into this, but because it’s a trend.

Made by man.

Great for you.

But with this fast food fuck fashion you’ll never get the kick your looking for!

Arian: You crazy? I exactly got this kick I’d always yearned for. And being honest, my whole threesome fetish is not about polyamory, sexual genetic predisposition or what they tell you.

It’s all about adrenalin, the rush, the kick. And I think it’s absolutely fantastic that more and more women are daring to get their kicks. In sports, in business or in sex.

For me, expanding our sex life is just my civilized version of going to war, or hunting. This night, when I sat there, watching you, it did feel like having hunted down two antelopes, beautiful specimens, lying there, naked, open, wet, excited, willing to do anything, right in front of me.

And I had achieved all this! What a kick!

Lu: C’mon, stop that! That’s so... urgh. In these moments, I’m disgusted, just by listening to you. This is not the intelligent, sophisticated person I decided to live with. You’re just a low-class idiot, using his brain to excuse his balls. Like a fucking crack addict, just trying to excuse a male, very hetero-normative standard behavior. Only that the junkie has got more style than you. At least he accepts that he’s trash. You talk about antelopes, hunting? That’s your what? Civilized ways?

You’re just bored with me and want to find an elegant way to cheat without cheating.

Arian: You can be really difficult at times, you know?

Lu: Yup, my words can come out as a pistol. And I’m no good at aiming, but I can aim it at you. Don’t ever forget that.

Arian: I know, it’s weird. But I really love you, Lu. And no, I am absolutely not bored with you. But… I don’t know...

Yeah, I could be at home, happily relaxed, having fulfilling sex with the woman who (at least sometimes) loves me, enjoying peace of mind. Instead, I push my girl into extreme situations, invite complete foreign women into our bed, use them, risk our relationship and friendship. Looking back at this night and all that happened… Perhaps I should have listened to you. Perhaps our culture is built on this monogamous concept because this is the only real way, the rest mere delusion? Perhaps desires like mine are just destroying things and that’s why we call them deviant…

You wouldn’t have left me, would you?

Lu: Well, perhaps… No. Not for this. You’re looking a little too good for me to leave you. But I would have…

Arian: Fucked another man as revenge that same night, like you warned me?

Lu: Definitely!

Arian: But instead, what happened then?

Lu: Well… then… Mila just was too much fun…

Arian: You drive me nuts, bitch.

Lu: You’re just not intelligent enough for me. Just because I have a clear opinion about things doesn’t mean I can’t recognize a good thing when I see it. I’m extreme. In both ways. Extremely strict and extremely flexible. And for you, sometimes this disposition gets confusing. My disproportionate reactions fuse with my eager state, that’s all. But that’s why you always want to come out and play with me, right?

Arian: That’s why I got you to this hotel, yes! And I couldn’t stop the plan, just out of fear that you wouldn’t love me anymore.

Lu: You mean your fear of losing me was not as intense as your desire to fuck another woman? Are you completely out of your mind?

Arian: This is a very subjective description of a very complex situation. Let’s put it this way: you hate me for my limitlessness.

But you love me for my courage.

I really appreciate that you agreed to have an anonymous fuck date with two online sluts, just because you want to see me happy.

And in the end, you had fun, right?

Lu: Asshole-sex-junkie.

Arian: See? But you’re right. I also would have preferred to meet Mila under other circumstances. But it was good anyway.

Lu: Good? With all that happened?

Arian: In the end…yes. We searched for a sex date, we met a goddess and we found a friend.

Lu: We found the real Mila, yes. And Mila found her freedom. That’s all what counts.