Читать книгу Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality - Alexandra Kryuchkova - Страница 23

“What does this Sphere mean?” I asked the Guardian at the door to House No. 4.

“Beginning and ending – roots, traditions, ancestors, family, earthly Motherland, real estate, circumstances of leaving the Earth.”

“Will I finally see my parents and be able to talk with them?”

“Not here, Rukh. So… House No. 4 begins in the Sign of Virgo. Family is very important to you, you’ll care for your loved ones and love your home. A symbol of the workhorse on which everyone plows. It’s work until the last breath.”

“What does the degree in which this Sphere begins mean?”

“Analytical mindset, mania for planning and structuring, increased efficiency, concentration, the sense of justice and severity in judgments. One more indication of deprivation in childhood, the lack of stability and solid ground underfoot, children feel abandoned and have the psychology of a homeless creature. You’re inclined towards cognition of the Subtle World. Don’t get hung up on trifles and don’t accumulate material wealth in reserve, try to get rid of the earthly as much as possible. Take out the keys from your Treasure Island.”

A bunch of keys appeared in my hand. I opened the door, stepped inside and found myself … in a room with a fabulous Christmas tree glittering by the window and an aristocratic-looking ghost sitting in an armchair. He came up to me and said with a sad smile,

“Hello, my little princess!”

“Hello!” I was extremely surprised.

“Your great-grandfather,” said the Guardian. “A well-known personality of his time, written about even outside your country, Rukh. Representative of the ancient Glinsky family.”

“Glinsky?” I asked.

“Elena Glinskaya was the mother of Tsar Ivan the Terrible,” the Ghost sighed. “For a certain period she even ruled Russia. She was accused of witchcraft and poisoned, but it’s not the point now. I came here to cheer you up, because we won’t meet on Earth. My incarnation took place in 1883, I returned to Heaven in 1945, two years after the birth of my grandson, your father. Once we had several mansions in Moscow, practically next to the Kremlin, in Gazetny Lane, in Kolobovsky Lane and so on. It’s quite possible that you’ll even visit one on Herzen Street. After the revolution, I lived here, in this flat on Tverskaya Street, where you’ll spend your first four years on Earth … However, one day and quite unexpectedly, you’ll receive the Nobility Certificate. Consider it my little gift. Unfortunately, even the jewels that survived the revolution were exchanged for food during the war. However, your chest of relics will keep my old emerald-colored glass, several photographs and a pre-revolutionary book with fabulous illustrations, signed and gifted to me by a famous artist.”

“Your great-grandfather was known all over Moscow, they greeted him on the street, taking off their hats,” the Guardian whispered.

“Don’t talk about me,” the Ghost said modestly.

“One day,” the Guardian continued enigmatically, “you’ll take out an old photo album, and one picture will fall out of it, on the reverse side…”

“Oh yes!” exclaimed the Ghost. “There will be a letter, Rukh. I wrote it to a woman with your earthly name, I didn’t send it. I suppose it was for you, so that you don’t despair. We are always there, even invisible. Besides, you can be proud of us – we did no harm to people and bore hardships with patience.”

All of a sudden everything disappeared. Rather, the scenery in the room changed. I found myself in a tiny kitchen of a wooden house. It smelled of fried mushrooms, bundles of dried herbs hung on ropes along the walls, and a kerosene lamp was lit up on the table. It was raining outside the window. The ghost of the hanged man appeared in front of me.

“Hello, Rukh! I’m really sorry! I wanted you to live here forever!” he said and just as suddenly disappeared.

I looked at the Guardian in surprise, but before I had time to ask him, the house… caught fire and instantly turned to ash.

The scenery changed again. Now it was a room with pen-written wallpaper, a small bed, a huge antique mirror and… a piano. In the flickering of burning candles, the room was filled with the sounds of the Moonlight Sonata, and ghosts appeared out of the mirror. They drew me into their whirlwind dance, and I heard their voices, all, at the same time, from all directions.

“Pray for us! She killed us! Tell our children we love them!”

“I didn’t mean to kill them! Everything was for him! He left me alone! They took me to Hell! I feel bad! So bad! Pray for me!”

“Forgive me! I knew everything, but I was afraid of changes!”

“You feel and know everything! I abandoned my son, and God abandoned me!”

“You’re right, Rukh! There are too many ghosts here, it’s dangerous! Go out of here! Run away!”

“I shouldn’t have done that! Don’t feel angry with me!”

“Sorry, Rukh! God punished us depriving of children!”

I clutched my eyes in horror! Who were all these ghosts?! Suddenly the music stopped. I opened my eyes, but now I saw rapidly changing pictures of different flats. They appeared and immediately disappeared. Simultaneously, one by one, the keys on the bunch melted. How many were there? Five? Ten? Twenty? I heard other people’s caustic voices in every room.

“She’s crazy! I don’t want her to live with us!”

“Fool! She sees ghosts everywhere!”

“Nothing can be done with such wretched children!”

“A witch’s granddaughter! Everything she dreams about comes true! Yesterday she predicted today’s death of that woman! What is she here for?”

“She writes poems and letters to Heaven! This miserable child is not of this world! Sooner or later she’ll kill herself, like Tsvetaeva or Mayakovsky! Let Heaven take care of her!”

“The right place for the church choir singer is the monastery!”

“She has nothing to do here! She doesn’t eat watermelon with forks!”

“Did I promise you any flat? Who the hell are you?!”

It seemed like I was going mad. All of a sudden everything became quiet. I saw a small room full of icons, with the Royal Family one in the center. It was the place where I had been in my hypothetical Future!

“Hey, Rukh, don’t be afraid,” I heard and turned around. A woman in a white sparkling dress stood in front of me. “I am Juno, Hera in Greek mythology, the goddess of marriage and family, daughter of Saturn and wife of Jupiter, mother of Mars and Vulcan, sister of Pluto, Neptune, Ceres and Vesta. Once, the month of June was named after me, they celebrated the women’s holiday Matronalia on March 01, and now the International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 08.”

“So, are you my mom?”

“No, I’m the symbol of wife, I show you as a wife, what you are like in your family, with whom you feel good. On the threshold of the Family House, I signify a soul inclined towards family. The family for you is the main foundation, solid ground under your feet, a reliable rear. Your husband is like a stone wall, your support, protector, breadwinner, he keeps the family in its patriarchal model. You are a guided person, Rukh, caring and gentle. You’ll make your home cozy and hospitable, and the relationship harmonious.”

“Your Juno is friendly with 3 planets – 3 types of men for marriage,” the Guardian specified.

“Sextile, or a happy accident or chance, with Uranus in Scorpio in the Sphere of Love and Creativity means a bright or even brilliant personality, perhaps of a different nationality or faith, relationships are non-standard, fireworks of emotions that are remembered for lifetime. It’s connected with Sphere No. 9 – spiritual path and practices, philosophy, religion, temples, teachers, universities, publishing houses, everything foreign and alien, overseas.

Sextile with Mars in Cancer from Backstage means a mysterious person, possibly a military man of secret services or an employee of secluded companies, a mystic, an introvert, an ascetic soul, perhaps an immigrant or living on an island. There’s a competitive spirit in the relationships. He is your soul mate, you’ll meet in a club of interest, through the Internet, the media and / or in a closed, isolated place.

However, it’s better to find Jupiter in Taurus, we are in a trine, at a distance of 120 degrees, an ideal couple! Trine means the lightning-fast development of events and the solution of all problems by removing obstacles. Jupiter will make you happy. A like-minded patron or boss, related to your work and vocation. Status and intelligent person, interested in spirituality and art, loves beautiful things, he has a great relationship with your Venus. He’ll help you fulfill your mission.”

“Juno is situated in the happy degree of the mountain eagle,” the Guardian smiled. “A symbol of scientists, writers, philosophers and military people. The degree of genius, penetration into the mysteries of the Universe, fatalism and the stellar hour of Fortune, which is sure to strike.”

“Have you finally remembered me?” came the voice of a woman suddenly appearing in the room. “To whom will I bring good luck?”

“Good luck?!” I chuckled. “There are only ghosts here! Better tell me, who are all these people who hate me so much chasing me away?”

“Here is your Pars of Fortune, the point calculated mathematically shows the Sphere where you are lucky,” the Guardian hugged me with his wings. “Success in the knowledge of the Mysterious World, in professions related to the Past, for example, archeology or mythology, with agriculture, or in the political arena. In the Sign of Virgo, it gives success in intellectual activity, literature, philology, philosophy and religion, applied arts and artistic crafts, administrative and performing activities, in Secret Knowledge and politics. Politics and Secret Knowledge are repeated twice, mind you.”

“I strengthen the connection with the ancestors and the craving for your home. I give an inheritance and leave a legacy. Under the condition of hard work and humility, you’ll gain glory in your earthly Motherland, perhaps posthumously,” Fortune stated. “A similar situation was with the King of England Charles I, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne Franz Ferdinand, the Indian politician Mahatma Gandhi, the Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, the American president John F. Kennedy, as well as the poet Walt Whitman and the astrologer Walter Koch.”

“Were they famous people?” I asked to clarify.

“One can become famous for bad deeds! The degree of my location,” continued Fortune, “means conservatism and attachment to traditions, hard trials and the role of a scapegoat, as a result, a thirst for solitude. Your support is the tree of your aristocratic family. If you don’t give up and don’t get angry at the world, you’ll become a versatile and very modest person with a pronounced transformation of Consciousness due to the events survived.”

“Fortune is friends with Selene and Sirius,” the Guardian added. “Chances and happy accidents are given to you by Heaven. Excellent relationship with the Sun means rapid social rise, celebrity and fame in society; with Mercury gives success in the Sphere of the Word, for example, in writing. Good relationship with Pluto makes you influence the masses.”

“I am not a friend of Saturn,” Fortune remarked, “you get obstacles and delays with inheritance and real estate. Perhaps they are constantly taken away at the last moment. However, your departure from Earth will be lightning quick!”

I looked at the key bunch and found that there was only one key left on it. To that room?

“What is that chest in the closet?” I asked, noticing the glow emanating from it.

“The treasures you inherited,” Fortune smiled. “Look inside!”

I found there an album with black and white photos, my great-grandfather’s glass, a pre-revolutionary book of fairy tales illustrated by a famous artist, garnet beads, a curl of black hair, a hand-embroidered handkerchief, epaulets with stars, a newspaper clipping, a patent for some invention, several letters and a fountain pen.

“Small spool but precious! The smallest gold coin is the richest!” the Guardian whispered, stroking me with his wing. “Look around! Why don’t you notice, my soul, how many friends you have?!”

“Friends? Is there anyone here but us?” I was surprised and looked around the room.

Suddenly, the faces on the icons came alive and whispered, radiating powerful streams of Light. I approached them, and each Saint blessed me for life. They looked at me with Universal Love and filled my soul with it.

Library of the Universe

“Is the next House as well nice?” I chuckled bitterly.

“No, there are different leeches,” the Guardian smiled.

“Leeches are what or who?”

“More likely who,” the Guardian replied evasively.

“Isn’t the already shown enough to stop wanting to live?”

“No, Rukh. If the soul isn’t recalled back, it hasn’t done everything yet. You may not understand why you are kept in an earthly body. Most likely, you won’t even pay attention when you complete some of your real tasks.”

“Can I refuse incarnation?”

“What on earth are you thinking! Would human life exist if souls could refuse to descend into the world full of pain and suffering? Everyone would refuse! To live in Heaven is not to serve on Earth!”

“My great-grandfather, what did he do on Earth according to Heavenly plan?”

“He dedicated his life to music. He played the flute at the Bolshoi Theatre, was a virtuoso, toured extensively, gave solo concerts, taught at musical colleges, including the Gnesins Russian Academy of Music, published several flute books that are still used by teachers. He was personally acquainted with the Italian musician and flutist Leonardo de Lorenzo, was a friend of the famous Russian writer Mikhail Bulgakov, and of many representatives of the artistic elite of his time. Separate works and entire symphony concerts were dedicated to him. They wrote about him in different countries. You’ll be given his perfect ear and sense of rhythm, graduate from music school with a piano degree and invited to the Gnesins Russian Academy of Music where he once taught. You’ll be faced with a choice – follow in his footsteps or not.”

The book opened at the page with “The Piano” story. A ghost girl tried to put her best friend, the piano, in good hands, but it couldn’t bear the separation from the mistress.

“Her transparent fingers ran over the keys, and the room was filled with magical sounds. The waves of vibrations, exciting and taking the soul to its Great Primary Source, seemed to have moved Grigory into some Other Reality, and when the silence reigned back, he was in a state of stupor for a long time. What had that music been? Who had played it?”