Читать книгу Karma - Algernon Blackwood - Страница 5
PROLOGUE
ОглавлениеScene—Room in Lattin’s London house. Mrs. Lattin lies on sofa. A picture of Ancient Egypt, showing the Nile, palms and temples on wall easily visible to her.
Time—Present day, evening.
Mrs. Lattin
What time is it, nurse—now?
Nurse
Close on half-past five.
Mrs. Lattin
(With irritability of a sick woman.) Not later? Are you sure? It’s so dark.
Nurse
(Soothingly.) The dusk is closing in; I’ll light your lamp.
Mrs. Lattin
Half-past five, you said? My husband expected to be back before this. Hasn’t he come? The appointment was for half-past two.
Nurse
The Foreign Office takes its time. Mr. Lattin will come to you the moment he gets in.
Mrs. Lattin
You’re sure? I thought I heard his step.
Nurse
I’ll go and see the moment the lamp is lit. But he never forgets. He always comes in here first.
Mrs. Lattin
But he’s so long to-day, longer than usual. And he looked so grave, nurse, when he left. He looked worried, I thought. You noticed it?
Nurse
He is taken up with these politics just now. It’s only natural, considering the crisis in Egypt. But he’s always so in earnest, isn’t he? I noticed nothing unusual. The Government is lucky to have him at such a time. No one could fill his place. (Brings lamp.) There’s the lamp. Is the shading right?
Mrs. Lattin
Fill his place! No, indeed. Phillip understands the natives better than anybody in the world. And the country too (wistfully). If only I could bring myself to go back to Egypt with him. (Irritably.) The light catches my eye there. To the left a little. Now to the right. Thank you.
Nurse
The doctors all agree it’s best not, don’t they? The dry climate——
Mrs. Lattin
It’s not that, nurse. Dryness is what I need—warmth and dryness. It’s something else. Egypt frightens me. I can’t sleep there. Dreams come to me.
Nurse
The doctors said it was the effect of the climate on the nerves.
Mrs. Lattin
Oh, I know. I’d face it if I could—another winter. It means so much to Mr. Lattin, doesn’t it? Nurse! It’s curious—it’s strange, don’t you think—that Mr. Lattin feels nothing of that I feel there? I mean——
Nurse
Hark! I think that’s Mr. Lattin’s step. I’ll go and see.
Mrs. Lattin
It can’t be the new doctor, can it?
Nurse
Dr. Ogilvie? Not yet. Six o’clock he was to come. He won’t be here before his time. These great specialists are busy men.
Mrs. Lattin
(Wearily.) I’ve seen so many doctors. I hardly feel as if I had the strength for a new examination. Dr. Ogilvie will do me no good.
Nurse
Still you will see him. For your husband’s sake.
Mrs. Lattin
Ah, yes, for Phillip’s sake. I think my husband’s coming, nurse.
(Enter Phillip.)
Nurse
Good-evening, Mr. Lattin. Mrs. Lattin is a trifle better. I’ll leave you for a little, but she must not tire herself. We are expecting Dr. Ogilvie at six.
Phillip
I’ll be very careful.
[Nurse exit.
(Phillip comes to his wife.)
Mrs. Lattin
At last, Phillip. I’m so glad you’ve come, dear. I’ve been waiting and longing so. They kept you—but you belong to me, don’t you? You’re tired, poor old thing. Come to me, Phillip—closer. (Stretches out hand.)
Phillip
I am a bit late. I’m sorry, Little Child. They kept me, yes. But you——?
Mrs. Lattin
I’m well enough to listen. You’re back; I forgive you. And it’s all arranged as you wished—as you hoped?
Phillip
Sir George was kindness itself——
Mrs. Lattin
You saw the Foreign Secretary!
Phillip
You didn’t know I was such a big-wig, did you? It is important, you see, dear. The situation out there is complicated. I’ve left them in the lurch a little, and my advice—er—my knowledge, Sir George was good enough to say—at such a time——
Mrs. Lattin
In the lurch, Phillip! How in the lurch? You’re only asking a longer leave than usual.
Phillip
There, there. I don’t want you to worry your dear head with politics. The new doctor will be here any minute now. That’s far more important.
Mrs. Lattin
I would rather know exactly. It doesn’t worry me.
Phillip
It’s all been arranged most satisfactorily, dear; and I’m very pleased. So you’re pleased with me—eh?
Mrs. Lattin
Phillip—what has been arranged?
Phillip
Sir George was most complimentary. The Government would recognise my services—my long services, he called it. He even discussed with me—asked my advice, if you must know the full weight of honour placed upon me!—as to my successor——
Mrs. Lattin
Successor!
Phillip
But, darling, some one must fill my place. There must be a locum tenens, as they say in the church.
Mrs. Lattin
You’ve—resigned!
Phillip
Dear one, there was no other way. It’s a formality, you see. I can always take it up again where I left it off. Our man in Egypt—just now—must be there. He must be on the spot, of course——
Mrs. Lattin
But six months’ leave! Surely, six months’ leave——
Phillip
Means the entire winter. There, there, Little Child, it’s nothing. You must not exaggerate like this. What is my work in Egypt compared to being with you. The doctors forbid you to go out. It’s quite simple: I prefer to stay with you. My world lies in your heart. I—I can always take up the work again when—when you’re better.
Mrs. Lattin
Resigned, resigned! You have actually resigned. Your career—I have broken your career—at last—completely. Is it wrong, then, that I need you so?
Phillip
Hush, dearest——
Mrs. Lattin
You have paid this tremendous price—and I have made you pay it.
Phillip
I wish to be always with you. That is my only wish, my only happiness.
Mrs. Lattin
For my sake you have sacrificed——
Phillip
It’s I who am selfish to tire you with all this stupid Government business. There, now; you’ve talked too much and I have done you harm. There’s only happiness in my heart. No more nonsense-talk about sacrifice. You must lie quiet and rest again. I can be always with you.
Mrs. Lattin
Yes, to the end—my end and yours. O God! Why did I not understand before?
Phillip
You must not speak like that. Love—our love—knows no end.
Mrs. Lattin
Oh, I am miserable, Phillip, miserable, miserable.
Phillip
Please, do not say such things.
Mrs. Lattin
But I must, I must. My selfishness has brought you to this last renouncement. Egypt has meant so much to you.
Phillip
Too much, Mary, too much. Egypt was coming between us.
Mrs. Lattin
Your work there, the great work I have ruined … ! Egypt meant home to you.
Phillip
Home is where you are, dearest, and nowhere else. You have taught me this—in time. (To himself.) Egypt! Ah, Egypt!
Mrs. Lattin
I hate it. It terrifies me. There is pain for me in Egypt. An instinctive dread comes over me always—something from very far away. I have struggled against it, for your sake, but—oh, it’s so, so strong. If only you could forgive me——!
Phillip
Hush, dearest!
Mrs. Lattin
But it has come between us. You love it so. And it’s my fault that you can’t—your career, I mean——
Phillip
Dear one, whatever is, is right. There is nothing to regret. Egypt, indeed, has drawn me strangely. There is some power out there—a spiritual power—that has cast a glamour over me. It has been a passion with me.
Mrs. Lattin
My instinctive terror!
Phillip
And my instinctive love!
[They glance together in silence at a great picture above the bed—an Egyptian night-scene, with stars and Nile.
Yes … yes … strange indeed! From my earliest days it drew me. Those palms and temples, that majestic desert——!
Mrs. Lattin
Phillip, don’t! Those stars, that river bring me sadness—immense regret. I feel them always rising over me. They watch me!
Phillip
Forgive me. It was the marvellous beauty took me. I——
Mrs. Lattin
But it’s an unearthly beauty. And something in it—lost. It’s lost to you. And I—oh, but I do love you so; for ever and ever you are mine—aren’t you?
[He stoops and kisses her. She half rises, whispering:
Phillip, dearest—something strange comes over me. I see a lifting of this heavy English sky. I have been through this before—I have done this very thing before—long, long ago—injured you somehow! Oh, Phillip, can it be that we have lived before—pre-existence—is it true? (Sinks back.) I think … I think I must be near to … death!
Phillip
Hush, hush, my darling. These are sick fancies only. Your brain is tired. We must not talk like this.
Mrs. Lattin
I am tired, yes; but it is my soul that aches and not my body. Phillip, I want your forgiveness.
Phillip
There is nothing to forgive. I love you.
Mrs. Lattin
(Spiritually tortured and perplexed.) I want your real forgiveness—before I go. I have been suffering deeply, deeply. Curtains have been rising. I almost see. Something seems growing clearer to me. I’ve done wrong somewhere! Why have I pulled against you all these years—against your work? It cannot be my love that is at fault. You’re wholly mine—and yet I want your forgiveness somehow——
Phillip
(Deep patience.) All the love and forgiveness in the world I give you, Little Child. But you ask for what was always yours.
Mrs. Lattin
Your broken mission. You alone have the strength and patience Egypt needs. I have ruined all, all, all!
Phillip
There! I forgive you, then. (Kisses her.) I forgive you all, all, all. But please calm yourself. This excitement does you harm. You torment yourself for nothing. It is I who have been, and am, the egoist. All men who think their work is a mission are shameless egoists.
Mrs. Lattin
Thank you, Phillip, for this great gift of your forgiveness. But it is not enough. I want to understand—and so forgive myself.
Phillip
You must rest now a little. It was criminal of me to let you talk so much. No, not another word. I’ll leave you for a bit. You must be calm to see the Doctor. It’s nearly six——
Mrs. Lattin
Dr. Ogilvie can’t help me.
Phillip
What! The first man of the day! His wonderful cures——
Mrs. Lattin
He cures the body only. I need a soul physician. Oh, Phillip, I believe sometimes my yearning must bring him to me.
Phillip
My darling, it is your body alone that is ill. Your suffering gives you these strange fancies.
Mrs. Lattin
You love me too well to understand. (Sighs.) My illness is not only of the body. Now, leave me, dearest. I wish to see him quite alone.
Phillip
Little Child, you shall. You can dismiss the nurse. (Glances at clock.) It is close on six.
Mrs. Lattin
Kiss me. (He kisses her softly and goes out.) If only—ah, if only my great yearning. …
[She lies back exhausted. Sighs. Covers her face with her hands. After a moment she uncovers her face and half sits up again. She stares hard at Egyptian picture on the wall.
The fault lies in my soul, and it comes first from there—from Egypt. The river is rising, rising once again. The stars are rising too. They watch me, and they wait. They’re always watching us. O God! If only some one could make me understand! If some great doctor of the soul … ! (Sinks back. Her eyes close. She lies very still.)
[A big clock on the mantelpiece strikes the first three strokes of six o’clock, then stops. The door opens slowly and a man enters quietly. He looks round the room, sees her on the sofa apparently asleep, and stands still, a few feet inside the door. He looks steadily at her a moment, then glances at the picture of Egypt on the wall. He smiles gently. His figure is a little bent, perhaps. He is not a big man with any marked presence. As he smiles, she opens her eyes and sees him. She shows surprise and slight embarrassment. She raises herself on one arm. Her voice is hushed rather when she speaks. He remains near the open door.
I beg your pardon. Is it—Dr. Ogilvie?
Doctor
I am the Doctor.
Mrs. Lattin
I must apologise. Did no one——?
Doctor
I found my way.
[Both pause, gazing.
Mrs. Lattin
(With relief.) Ah! Thank you.
[She makes an unfinished gesture towards a seat. Her eyes remain fixed on his. She smiles faintly.
Doctor
You called for me. (He makes one step nearer.)
Mrs. Lattin
My husband, I believe, did write. We—expected you.
Doctor
I am come.
Mrs. Lattin
It is exceedingly—it is more than kind of you. You are so good. I mean—(stammers; sinks back upon the cushions, unable to maintain the effort). I am very ill.
Doctor
I know.
Mrs. Lattin
You know! Ah yes—you know.
Doctor
That is why you called me. That is why I am here now.
Mrs. Lattin
I can tell you very briefly what——
Doctor
It is unnecessary.
Mrs. Lattin
But——
Doctor
I have been watching you.
[He straightens up a little; a new dignity is in him. She gazes intently. She stretches out a hand, then withdraws it, hesitatingly, again.
Mrs. Lattin
You mean——?
Doctor
I knew—that you would send for me.
Mrs. Lattin
Ah! The medical journals! My case, of course—its peculiar—er—its hopelessness.
Doctor
There are no hopeless cases. (He smiles. His voice is very gentle.)
Mrs. Lattin
(Bewildered.) You are very ki—good. I thank you, already.
Doctor
(Shaking his head quietly.) And you already—I see—are on the way to your recovery.
Mrs. Lattin
Recovery!
Doctor
Since you realise that you are very ill.
Mrs. Lattin
Oh—in that sense.
Doctor
In every sense.
[She is more and more aware of something unusual in him. She keeps her gaze steadily on his face. She makes a gesture towards him, then hesitates. She seems on the point of saying more—speaking more freely.
Mrs. Lattin
I think—there must be a mistake somewhere. I don’t quite understand how you——
Doctor
There are no mistakes.
Mrs. Lattin
But you are sure it is me you have come to see?
Doctor
It is you.
Mrs. Lattin
Mrs. Lattin?
[He bows his head.
In this street and house—13 Bristol Square?
Doctor
This street, this square (moves nearer and puts his hand upon her head), this very house you occupy—for the moment.
[She stares at him. They smile. She is aware of another meaning in his words. A touch of awe shows in her manner.
Mrs. Lattin
(Low.) This—body?
Doctor
Which, for the moment, you—are occupying, Little Child.
Mrs. Lattin
(Awed.) You know that name! My husband’s secret name!
Doctor
It is—your name.
[He moves back a step so that she can see the picture. One hand he stretches towards her as in blessing. Her eyes turn from the Egyptian night-scene to his face again.
Mrs. Lattin
(Softly, to herself.) My little secret love-name. It is too marvellous—this. I am completely at a loss to—(breaks off, as he looks down and smiles at her).
Doctor
Love names truly always.
Mrs. Lattin
He … has … always … called me so.
Doctor
He has loved you truly—always.
Mrs. Lattin
(Sitting up.) But you know everything in the world! Who are you—really? (Awe increases in her.)
Doctor
I am the Doctor.
Mrs. Lattin
Doctor! The greatest calling in world! A doctor’s powers——
Doctor
Are, by rights, divine.
Mrs. Lattin
Life or death——
Doctor
Life and death.
Mrs. Lattin
(Hushed.) But—you are more than doctor; you are also—Priest.
Doctor
I am at your service.
Mrs. Lattin
(Light breaking on her face. She stretches out a hand to him. He takes it.) To heal me. I feel great power pouring from you—into me. It is like wind and fire.
Doctor
Life is a wind and fire. It is life you feel. Your claim is great, because of your great wish, your true desire. You deserve. And I have come.
Mrs. Lattin
(Puzzled.) Deserve! My great desire! My claim … !
Doctor
Your sickness is not of the heart, but of the soul. Your desire was prayer.
Mrs. Lattin
You have read my heart.
Doctor
Little Child, it is in your eyes.
Mrs. Lattin
And you know my very soul.
Doctor
Little Child, I am come to heal it.
Mrs. Lattin
Recovery! You said recovery. While I lie dying here by inches!
Doctor
You love.
Mrs. Lattin
With all my heart.
Doctor
And—soul?
[He looks questioningly down at her with great tenderness. Her expression shows the dawn of comprehension.
Mrs. Lattin
(Very low.) I love—wrongly—somewhere. I forgot—my soul. And I have wrecked him, wrecked his life, his work.
Doctor
(To himself.) Again.
Mrs. Lattin
(Not catching his word.) Is there recovery for that? Can you heal that?
Doctor
He does not question your love for him?
Mrs. Lattin
He is too big-hearted. He has sacrificed all for me. It is regret and remorse that kill me now—they bring death more quickly. If only I could understand!
Doctor
You shall.
Mrs. Lattin
(Bitterly.) When it is too late. Can you give recovery for that? Can the forgiveness that I crave—his forgiveness—undo what has been? (Hides her face and sobs.) I must die without forgiveness.
Doctor
Recovery begins with understanding.
Mrs. Lattin
I want his forgiveness.
Doctor
You must—forgive yourself.
Mrs. Lattin
Oh, oh, I do not understand. My remorse goes with me even into the grave.
Doctor
Remorse brings weakness. The forgiveness of another affects that other only.
Mrs. Lattin
(Looking up.) Yes?
Doctor
Understand. Then, without regret, go forward. To forgive yourself is—true forgiveness.
Mrs. Lattin
I feel something wonderful in you. Your words bring life again. … I. … There seems something I remember—remember almost—very dim and far away. … (Her eye falls upon the Egyptian picture. She gazes fascinated at it.) The stars … the river … are rising, surely. …
Doctor
You remember—life. And life shall teach you this.
Mrs. Lattin
Life! My life! Oh, what is it rising in me? A curtain lifts. I see … myself. Ah, now it goes again. … The pain … the pain is awful! It all has been before somewhere, I know. … Have I done this before, then? If only I could see, I might understand.
Doctor
You shall see. Understanding shall bring recovery.
[As he speaks he retires slowly backwards towards the open door. Her eyes remain fixed upon the picture.
Mrs. Lattin
Recovery! I half remember. … I begin to … understand … !
Doctor
The soul reaps ever its own harvest, for the soul is linked to all its past.
Mrs. Lattin
(Faintly.) The past! My past … ! Our past together. …
Doctor
Your pain and prayer may lift for once the curtain. Remembering, you shall understand. And, understanding, you shall learn to—forgive yourself.
[A light falls on his face and figure by the door. Just before he disappears she tears her gaze away from the picture, and turns to him with outstretched hands. He raises his hands as though he were lifting a curtain and holding it up.
Mrs. Lattin
It lifts, it lifts! I hear wind among the palms, and lapping waters. A voice is whispering … “Little Child” … yet in another tongue. …
[From beyond the door his last words reach her with a distant, half-chanting sound.
Doctor
Egypt! Where you began—with him. Your earliest life. Then other lives as well. See—and understand.
[She sinks back exhausted. Her face is radiant through her tears. She has just strength enough to touch the pneumatic bell beside the bed.
CURTAIN