Читать книгу A Bet Turned Deadly - Alice Zogg - Страница 11

Jacob began, “This happened a long time ago when I was a senior in college. I had a practical joker friend who teased me on a regular basis for never having the guts to play pranks on people. On an April Fools day, there was road construction going on near the campus, with traffic being directed to detours. After the construction workers had left for the day, my pal and I happened to walk by one of the detour signs. On a whim I said, ‘What if I turned the arrow sign around for an April Fools joke?’ He dared me to do it and I went ahead while he stood guard, making sure no one was watching. The task was not without effort - - I had to unscrew the sign from the post it was attached to, turn it around and screw it back on - - but I managed it before anyone was the wiser. Originally, the arrow for the detour pointed left, and after I had turned the sign upside down, it pointed to the right. Obviously, we didn’t stick around to watch, but could picture the traffic confusion this caused.”

He grinned and ended his story with, “The next day, there was an article in the local paper blaming the road workers for the mix-up. So I was home free with the prank.”

He looked around our circle and said, “I’m sure many of you have an April Fools story to tell.”

Hannah said, “I just remembered one. It was in high school. We had this math teacher who always started his class with, ‘Who did not do the homework?’ And then he gave hell to the students who hadn’t done it. Well, on that occasion, we all raised our hands. He got bright red in the face with rage, stamped his foot, and yelled, ‘The entire class didn’t do their homework? What is going on? I’ll hand out detention to each and every one of you!’ In unison, all of us students got to our feet and shouted, ‘April Fool!’”

Marcelo spoke up, “I did a prank, like you call it, but it was not in April and it did not go as planned.”

“Doesn’t matter; we’re ready to hear any good story,” Jacob assured him.

Marcelo became animated, telling his story in a comical way. He recounted, “We were altar boys, Orlando and I, and usually scheduled to serve together. Orlando had this habit of nipping into the altar wine. Just a few sips, so nobody was the wiser. One day, I decided to teach him a lesson and added vinegar to an almost empty bottle. I already pictured him taking a good swig and imagined his expression when swallowing the sour mixture.

“To my horror, his parents called him in sick that Sunday and the adult verger took his place. There was no way I could get rid of the wine laced with vinegar. When the priest drank it during mass, he had a coughing fit and almost choked to death. Of course, I was found out and punished.”

Candie exclaimed, “Oh, I have a good one! This dates back to the time before I was well known, when I had to hustle every step of the way. I auditioned for this part I wanted so badly it hurt. Being only about the tenth person they had interviewed so far, I was confident of getting the part, until I saw the long line of women on my way out. The queue stretched along half the outside of the building. I suddenly had a brainstorm. Pretending to be a person in charge, I announced, ‘Attention, everyone! The auditions are over for today. Try again tomorrow. I repeat: Today’s auditions are cancelled.’ I feigned going back into the building. Then, as the women went away, I made myself get lost in the crowd.”

Min said, “That really wasn’t nice.”

“Well, it’s a cutthroat business.”

Todd asked, “Did you get the part?”

“Actually, no. But I was a close runner up.”

Everyone kept silent for a while. The only sound came from the occasional crackle of the fire as we stared into it.

Todd suddenly laughed and said, “Here is my contribution of antics. This wasn’t all that long ago, two years tops. I spent a weekend with my buddies on the Colorado River. Needless to say that we all had a beer or two. One of the guys went skinny dipping.”

Mikey asked, “What’s skinny dipping?” His mom whispered something to him which made the little boy giggle.

Todd continued, “When the guy came out of the river, his clothes weren’t where he’d left them. Just for fun, we’d hung them from a tree some distance away. As he started walking toward the tree, cussing us out nonstop, a couple of chicks on horseback came wading along the river’s edge. There was nothing but open land between him and his pants, so he had no choice but to head back into the water.”

Todd laughed out loud when he added, “I’ll never forget the hilarious sight of him turning around in panic and running back into the river, holding on to his junk!”

Tala told her prank tale of having sewed up her home-economics teacher’s jacket sleeve so that the lady’s arm got stuck when she tried to don the garment. This was no news to me; I had heard the story before.

Jacob tried to get more mischievous stories from the group but the subject had run dry. The serious Yon stated, “I don’t do pranks; that’s for children.” His wife nodded in agreement. London said, “Count me out too,” and Derek commented, “We see a lot of weirdoes coming into our shop, trying to sell or pawn all kinds of bizarre stuff, but I can’t think of a prank off hand.”

Curtis said, “Oh, I remember something I did for a joke once. It wasn’t exactly playing a prank on any one person, but it was hilarious. I taped magnets to the bottom of my coffee cup, put it on the roof of my car, and drove around town. When other drivers or pedestrians pointed frantically at the top of my car, I smiled and did the Queen Elizabeth wave.”

His brother rolled his eyes and remarked, “That is just the kind of dumbass thing you’d find funny.”

Before the brothers got a chance to be at each other’s throats again, Jacob intervened. Looking straight at me, trying to butter me up, he coaxed, “Come on James. Let’s hear it from you, the ultimate story teller!”

I wasn’t in the mood and shook my head.

“Come on, be a good sport,” he insisted, and I gave in.

I said, “I agree with Yon, playing practical jokes is for kids. My tale is not about me being the prankster, but about others playing a prank on me. It happened at Boy Scout camp when I was 12 years old. One night, I woke up in panic out of a deep sleep, but it was too late. I had already peed in the bed. To my horror, several of my fellow scouts stood by my cot, laughing their heads off. Later, one of the boys admitted that they’d waited until I was sound asleep, then dipped my fingers into a bowl of warm water, making my muscles relax so that I had let go. To this day, I fight going to sleep when hearing running water, or even when just thinking of water.”

Someone said, “Good luck with the stream up here!”

The campfire gathering soon broke up, and we made sure that the fire was completely extinguished before turning in. It was too dark and too late to wash dishes; Jacob and Marcelo left them to do first thing in the morning.