Читать книгу Hot Docs On Call: Healing His Heart - Алисон Робертс - Страница 19

‘IS IT STILL the done thing to go to the zoo? Should I feel guilty about walking freely around here peering in at caged animals?’ As excited as she was to be here, she did have a social conscience and the child-versus-adult argument about it in her head was in danger of tainting the experience.

‘There are two very different schools of thought but the zoo today is much more than the sideshow attraction it used to be. It’s educational and provides a natural environment for the animals. Then there are the conservation projects which are funded through the admission fees…’

‘Okay. Okay. I’m sold. I can enjoy the view safe in the knowledge I’m not contributing to any ill treatment.’ She trusted Matt’s judgement. He’d done his homework and he wasn’t the sort of man to throw his weight behind a cause unless it was for the greater good. He was principled and not the type to bend the facts to suit his own agenda. Unlike her ex, who’d pretended he wanted a family so he could move in with her.

Quinn shooed away the negative thoughts from her past to replace them with the positive. Such as Matt, positively yummy in his casual clothes again this morning. As he turned to study the map, she was free to ogle his backside encased in black denim and the perfect V of his torso wrapped in dark grey cotton.

‘What are you smiling at, Quinn?’ Simon quizzed, drawing Matt’s attention back from the map.

Caught in the act of perving at Matt’s physical attributes, lies didn’t come easy to her. ‘I, er…I was just thinking nice thoughts.’

She spun on her heel and started walking again, ignoring the smirk on Matt’s face and the heat of her own.

‘What ones?’ Simon tugged her hand with the unfiltered curiosity only a child could get away with.

The puppets. The boat. Matt’s butt.

She could’ve said any of those things and they would’ve been true.

In the end she went with, ‘About how much fun I’m having with you both today.’

Curiosity satisfied, Simon moved on to his new topic of interest, staring at the pictures of ice creams depicted on an advertising board.

‘Can I have one?’

‘It’s a bit early for ice cream but we can get one later. All good boys and girls deserve a treat now and then, don’t you think, Quinn?’ Matt was so close his breath tickled the inside of her ear and did something to her that made her a very bad girl.

She so wanted him to be talking about more than a child or an ice cream.

Up until now she’d been the very model of restraint but she was wondering if she deserved a treat too? They did say a little of what you fancy was good for you and there was no denying what it was she fancied more than anything.

‘Absolutely. Life can get very dull if you don’t give in to temptation once in a while.’ She locked eyes with Matt so that all pretence they were still talking about dairy products vanished without trace.

Eye contact definitely constituted flirting when the heat flaring between them was hotter than the morning sun. They’d proved they could be adults, and whatever did or didn’t happen between them personally wouldn’t become an issue where Simon was concerned. There was no fostering law against her seeing someone either, except the one she’d created herself. By trying to protect her heart she might actually be denying herself the best thing that had walked into her life since Simon.

Despite the unexpected trials and tribulations which had made their journey more difficult than it should’ve been, she couldn’t imagine her existence without Simon in it. Or Matt, for that matter, and therein lay the danger. The damage had already been done, because she knew when the time came for these two to leave, all she’d have left would be a broken heart and some wonderful memories.

Today was all about making those memorable moments and as long as they avoided any empty promises they might actually get to make a few. Matt was a boost to her confidence when he did his best to convince her she could handle whatever fate threw at her. That was every bit as enticing as the soft lips which had caressed hers and the warm hands she could still imagine on her skin. He was right. She did deserve a treat.

Away from impressionable young eyes who might read more into an adult relationship than was true, she wanted one more taste of her dishy doc.

They made their way around the exhibits, each animal becoming Simon’s new favourite as he was introduced to their habitats, and eventually circled back to the area where they’d started. Their route had been dictated according to which animals Simon wanted to see rather than the logical, more traditional route everyone else was following. It had probably added a few extra miles to their journey but that could be to their advantage later when exhaustion caught up with him.

Quinn had to admit a pang of self-pity for her inner child when she was only getting to experience this herself at the age of thirty-two. Watching Simon’s face light up every time a penguin swam close or a monkey swung by, she ached for the little girl who’d been denied this joy with her own parents.

Every child should experience the fun and wonder to be had in the world beyond school and the foster system and she vowed to do it for whoever entered her care. It didn’t have to be the zoo, or with Matt, but she wanted her future foster children to have at least one day of simply being a kid.

‘You wish you could get in there, don’t you?’

‘Sorry?’ Quinn panicked that Matt had caught her ogling his backside again.

‘The meerkat tunnels. I can see you’re busting to get in those with him.’ He nodded over towards Simon, who’d popped his head up in the plastic capsule overlooking the enclosure.

‘Yeah. This place is great, so interactive for the kids, but us adults might want to find out what it’s like to be a meerkat for the afternoon too.’ She covered herself quickly, happy to acknowledge her play envy before her relationship daydreams. After all, she didn’t know if Matt saw her as anything other than an acquaintance now. He’d certainly been in control of any more urges to kiss her. More’s the pity.

Despite the flirting and the unnecessary touching, which she could have misconstrued entirely, he hadn’t made another move on her.

‘Poor Quinn. I hear they do some adult-only tours of the zoo at night. Perhaps we should sign up for one?’ He was teasing her but he painted an enticing picture of an intimate party of two having some fun together at night.

‘It seems to me that we both missed out on the whole childhood fun thing. It mightn’t be a bad idea for us to have some quality time in the dark.’ Her temperature rose with the bold proposal, as did Matt’s eyebrows.

‘Hold that thought,’ he growled into her ear as Simon came running back to greet them.

‘When are we getting something to eat?’

‘Soon.’ She was glad he was getting his appetite back and she would simply have to set aside her hunger for anything other than lunch until she and Matt were alone again.

Matt thought he’d imagined the heat shimmering between them, a manifestation of his own frustration that he and Quinn hadn’t progressed to anything beyond that one sizzling kiss. He’d wanted more but when she’d given him his marching orders he’d done his best to ignore the temptation. That was until he’d seen the darkening of her eyes, the sapphire fire matching the one burning inside him.

He wasn’t a man to disappoint anyone if he could help it but there was a time and place for everything and at this very moment they had a hungry boy to feed.

He’d arranged a special child-sized lunch for them. Although the restaurant was crowded with most tables and chairs occupied, they were able to slip into a quiet side room where they served a more civilised afternoon tea.

‘This is amazing! You’re really spoiling us today.’ Quinn clapped her hands together as the arrangement of mini-rolls, sandwiches and bite-sized cakes and scones arrived, presented on a small picnic bench.

‘You’re worth it,’ he said, hoping he sounded more complimentary than cheesy.

He meant it. She should have someone treating her every day and making her feel special. The delight on her face and her grateful smile puffed Matt’s chest out that he’d been the one to put it there and he didn’t want anyone else to have the privilege.

When he’d planned this day he’d convinced himself he’d be glad when it was over, his responsibility to the pair outside the hospital over for good. Now that they were coming to the last stages, he was beginning to have second thoughts. He could honestly say this was one of the best days he’d had since moving to London and that was entirely down to the company. It would be stupid to end things here and now simply because there was a child involved. There’d always been children in his life. Children who weren’t his. If Quinn was willing to be brave about it, then so was he. A relationship didn’t have to mean a family and he was sure he could keep the two separate. Especially when the arrangements were all so fluid.

When they’d eaten their fill they headed to the indoor exhibits they’d bypassed in favour of some of the more exotic creatures.

‘We are now entering the Rainforest Life,’ he said in the style of a nature documentary voiceover artist.

Simon ran ahead into the tropical wilderness, hopped up on mini-desserts and fruit juice.

‘He’s going to have one hell of a crash when that sugar rush wears off.’ Quinn attempted to scold him but he knew she’d savoured every mouthful of that lunch. Each heavenly groan and lick of her lips attested to her pleasure as well as increasing his discomfort. He’d heard those sounds before and intended for her to make them again soon, somewhere more private.

‘Look at him!’ Simon was off again, following the path of a bright blue bird flitting through the plants and vines.

‘He’s pretty.’ Quinn was observing the exotic display from the balcony beside him, unaware she was adding to the beauty of it all.

Never mind the rare birds flying overhead or the small monkeys swinging freely through the vines, this was all about Quinn for him. The pure delight she took in her surroundings was refreshing and contagious. He’d been so caught up in material possessions and showing he could cut it as a single man in the city, he’d forgotten what it was to just enjoy life. The barrier he’d erected to protect himself had become as much of a prison as that council flat in Dublin.

Given the chance he’d swap his fancy car to travel on a barge anywhere if she was part of the deal. It was as if he was recapturing that lost childhood of his too, by being with her.

He’d been forced to grow up too quickly. From his mother walking out on her family, through his father’s illness, and ultimately his death, Matt had never had time for the mischief and fun other kids had experienced. With Quinn he didn’t have to be embarrassed in his joy at a puppet show when she was here spinning around, letting the mist fall on her face and telling the sloth how sleepy he looked. Matt had had enough of being the adult and there was plenty of room for his inner child, not to mention the randy teenager.

They stepped out of the light and moved into the nocturnal area. Faced with the creatures of the night, including giant rats and flitting bats, it wasn’t long before he found Quinn cuddled up next to him.

‘I don’t know how Simon is enjoying this.’

‘He’s a boy. We like gross stuff.’

‘I don’t want to stay in here,’ she whispered, fear pitching her voice until only the bats could probably hear.

Matt felt her hand graze by his knuckles as she fumbled for his reassurance in the dark. He took hold of her and turned so she could make him out in the dimmed light.

‘I’ll keep you safe.’

In that moment they were locked into their own world, staring into each other’s eyes and holding hands like lovers who’d just sworn their lives to one another. The rest of the group had moved on, leaving them alone so the only sounds he could hear now were scurrying animals and the frantic beat of his heart for Quinn.

He cupped her face in his hands and found her mouth easily with his, honing in as if she was a beacon of light guiding him home. This time, instead of pushing him away, she wound her arm around his neck and pulled him closer. He dropped his hands to her waist as she sought him with her tongue and leaned her soft curves against him.

‘Have you seen this? He’s got really big eyes.’ The sound of Simon’s voice from across the room somewhere broke through the darkness, alerting them to his presence and throwing a bucket of cold water over them.

‘I think that’s a bush baby.’ Matt’s breath was ragged as he fought to regain control so Simon wouldn’t think anything was amiss.

‘We should probably follow the rest on to the next exhibit.’ Quinn was already backing away from him.

‘We’ll talk about this later,’ he whispered, low enough so only she would hear.

‘I’m a mum. I have mum things to do.’ That uncertainty was back in her wavering voice and Matt fumbled for her hand again in the blackness. He didn’t want the guilt to start eating away at her for enjoying a moment of her own.

‘Don’t forget, the adult fun starts after the real dark.’ This wasn’t over and although she couldn’t see him wink, he was sure he sensed her smile.

Somehow they’d find a way to be together without compromising their roles in Simon’s life.

His peace of mind depended on it.

Quinn stumbled back out towards Simon and the rest of the visitors tripping out of the exhibit. Her unsteadiness on her feet was more to do with Matt’s epic bone-melting prowess than the unfamiliar territory. He had a way of completely knocking her off balance when she was least expecting it.

Yes, she’d encouraged him with a few flirtatious gestures, but phew, that had taken hot to a whole new level. Wrapped in his embrace she’d forgotten who she was, where she was or what day of the week it was, and let the chemistry consume her.

Dangerous. Irresponsible. Intoxicating.

It only made her crave more.

If Simon hadn’t reminded them that they weren’t here alone, they could’ve created quite a scene. They were lucky he hadn’t seen anything of their passionate embrace or they would’ve had some explaining to do. Unfortunately, now as she made her way back into the light, the interruption had left her throbbing with unfulfilled need which only Matt could help relieve.

As he’d pointed out, they had things to say, things to do, but they’d have to wait until Simon was safely tucked up in bed and her parental duties were over for the day. The anticipation of where and when they might get to explore this exciting new development uninterrupted was an aphrodisiac in itself. As if she needed it! Quinn was finally starting to believe there could be room in her life for more than foster children. If she dared risk her heart again.

Simon’s pace began to slow up and it struck her for the first time about how much energy this day had taken out of him. Not that his enthusiasm had waned once.

‘Can we go to the shop now?’ His eyes were wide and it was no wonder. A building stuffed to the rafters with soft toys and souvenirs was probably one of the highlights for most of the children. For her, there’d been many others. With one in particular still lingering on her lips, and she wasn’t talking about the cakes.

‘Sure. What do you say about taking in the rest of the way from a giraffe’s point of view?’ Matt, obviously picking up on his sudden weariness too, stooped down and gently hoisted Simon up onto his shoulders. It was a balancing act to avoid jarring Simon’s right side but he managed it, holding on to make sure his passenger was comfortable and secure.

Rather than make a fuss, he’d found a way to turn a potential meltdown into something fun. A tired and cranky tot was just as difficult to reason with as a frightened, injured one.

Crisis averted, Simon perched happily on Matt’s broad shoulders for the remainder of their walk around the grounds with a hand resting on his head. If either of them were in any discomfort they made no mention of it. The smiling twosome blended into the crowd of other fathers and sons and Quinn had to remind herself it was an illusion. It wasn’t real. Matt wasn’t always going to be around, but for now, it was good for Simon to have someone other than her who actually wanted the best for him.

‘I wanna get down.’ He only became restless once they reached the shop entrance, so Quinn helped Matt lift him off his shoulders so they could let him loose.

Matt cricked his neck from side to side and massaged his neck. ‘I’m getting too old for that.’

‘Never.’ She got the impression he’d done this sort of thing a lot for his kid sisters. It seemed a shame he was so set on making sure he never committed to fatherhood again. He’d have made a great dad for some lucky child.

‘My thirty-five-year-old aching muscles beg to differ. You, on the other hand, strike me as someone who’s young at heart and never too old to appreciate these.’ He lifted a cuddly bush baby, its big eyes begging Quinn to take him home.

‘It’s so cute.’ She hugged it close, unable to resist the aww factor.

‘And a souvenir from our time in the night life exhibit.’ His devilish arched eyebrow and wicked smirk immediately flicked her swoon switch.

She’d never been a bad girl, always on her best behaviour, trying to please people so they wouldn’t have cause to reject her. Matt drew out that reckless side she’d suppressed for so long and she kind of liked it.

She knew the score. Unlike Darryl, Matt had never said he’d stick around and raise foster kids with her. He was going to leave no matter what. She didn’t have to be a good girl where he was concerned, and based on previous experience he had a hell of a naughty side she wouldn’t mind getting to know better. Arousal rushed through her like a warm summer breeze, bringing promises of hot sweaty nights to follow.

It would’ve been futile to try and stop him from taking the poignant reminder of their day together over to the cash register when he hadn’t let her pay for anything so far. She went to look for Simon, who’d disappeared behind the shelving at the front of the shop, probably lining up a selection of animal friends he’d talk Matt into buying for him.

When she walked around the corner she was horrified to find him in tears, surrounded by a group of older boys.

‘What’s going on?’ She went straight into mama bear mode, defending her young and putting a barrier between Simon and whatever was upsetting him.

The three backed off, still laughing, and tossed a plastic monkey face mask at her feet. ‘The freak might look better with one of those.’

At that point Matt came striding over, a formidable figure with a thunderous look on his face which sent Simon’s tormentors scurrying out of the shop. ‘Are you two okay?’

Quinn was winded from the cruelty she’d witnessed directed at Simon but she hugged him close, letting his tears soak through her dress.

‘He’s only a baby,’ she gasped to Matt, her own tears bubbling to the surface.

They’d had a lovely day and now the actions of some stupid kids had set them back at square one, undoing all the progress they’d made by bringing him here.

Matt crouched down so he was level with Simon’s bowed head. ‘Hey, wee man. Don’t you listen to them.’

Every jerky sob broke her heart a little bit more as Simon clung to her with his one good arm. If she had her way she’d wrap him up in cotton wool so this kind of thing would never happen again. A child this young shouldn’t have had to go through so much in his short life.

‘No one’s ever going to want to be my mummy and daddy because of my stupid face.’

The emotional punch of Simon’s words knocked them both into silence.

That belief was at the very heart of the child’s fears and why he wouldn’t let anyone get too close. He genuinely thought his injuries made him unlovable and that few minutes of taunting had given credence to his worries.

This time Quinn was forced to swipe away a rogue tear but she steeled herself against any more. For her to become an emotional wreck now wasn’t going to do Simon any favours.

‘Well, I know people who think the world of you. Why else would they have bought you your very own spider monkey?’ Matt opened the long arms of the cuddly primate and attached them around Simon’s neck. ‘I’ve got some zoo mugs for us too. Why don’t we go back to my house to test them out?’

Simon glanced up at her with puffy, red, irresistible eyes. ‘Can we?’

‘Sure,’ she said as brightly as she could muster, thankful that the master of distraction had found a quick and simple way to ease his immediate pain. It was going to have to be down to her to find the long-term solution and show him how loved he was.

Matt stood up and spoke quietly for her ears only. ‘I know this wasn’t in the plan but my place is closer. We can get a taxi there, get him calmed down again before we get you home.’

She nodded, afraid to verbalise her thanks in case she burst into grateful tears.

Just as he’d reassured Simon, he took her hand and squeezed it. ‘Everything’s going to be grand.’

She didn’t know why but even in the most trying circumstances she believed him.

‘Take us home, Matt.’ She sighed, content to let the pretence go on a while longer.