Читать книгу The Affair - Amanda Brooke - Страница 19

Sunday, 18 October 2015

Vikki linked arms with Rob as he pushed Freya’s buggy along a winding country road. She liked the feeling of completeness it gave her. ‘I’ve missed this,’ she said, and was surprised to hear a catch in her voice. She had been staying at her mum’s for the best part of a month and while she and Rob had tried to see each other every day, sometimes that hadn’t been possible for one reason or another. Weekends were easier and she intended to keep Rob with her for as much of this Sunday as she could.

‘It’s not like we were ever in the habit of going for country walks,’ Rob replied.

‘You know what I mean. I’ve missed this,’ she said, giving his arm a squeeze. ‘I’ve missed doing stuff together. I’ve even missed having you looking over my shoulder to check what I’m buying when we go food shopping.’

‘Is that all you’ve missed?’

She squeezed his arm again. ‘Of course not.’

‘No, I didn’t think so,’ Rob said and gave a soft chuckle. ‘If only Mrs Anwar knew what we get up to when I sneak off for an early lunch.’

Rob had continued to refuse to stay over at her mum’s, and their sex life might have suffered if it wasn’t for their furtive meetings during the day while Freya was at nursery. ‘It won’t be for ever,’ she said.

‘I know and, if I’m honest, I quite like our little trysts. It reminds me of the old days.’

She smiled at the memories Rob was evoking. When they had first started dating, they had enjoyed a certain thrill in meeting up in secret. ‘Shall we do it again? How about tomorrow?’

‘It’s a date,’ he said.

They had strayed down one of the narrow lanes that criss-crossed the countryside around her mum’s house, not giving much thought to which direction they were going, or so it seemed.

‘We can’t be too far from the old Ellison House,’ she said.

Rob kissed the top of her head. ‘Shall we see if we can find it?’

Vikki was too young to remember the last time the Ellison House had been open to the public. An entrepreneur had taken it over in the nineties with the intention of transforming it into an adventure playground, but he had run out of money before it had a chance to take off. Rob had fond memories of the place and had taken Vikki to show her the tree where he had fallen off a rope swing and broken his leg. The site had been cleared by that point and the house boarded up, and so they had come up with some adventures of their own making.

The bridle path Rob was convinced led to the house wasn’t one in regular use and even if they weren’t pushing a buggy, Vikki and Rob would have struggled to make their way through overgrown bracken and layers of crisp autumn leaves that hid a slimy rotten layer beneath.

‘This is too hard and I’m getting blisters,’ Vikki complained. ‘Can we go back, please? I think Freya’s about to drop off anyway.’

Freya had been walking with them at first, insisting she was a big girl now and didn’t need her pushchair, but as Rob had predicted, her short legs had grown tired. She was sitting happily enough in the buggy and they hadn’t heard a peep out of her for the last five minutes.

‘I suppose,’ Rob said, taking one last look to see if he could spy the memories he wasn’t quite ready to release. He was about to turn the buggy around when he stopped and did a double take. ‘Hold on, isn’t that a chimney stack?’

They persevered down the path a while longer and found themselves on the outer edges of the long-abandoned park. There were signs of what had once been a clearing in front of the old house, although the tender saplings Vikki recalled from earlier visits had become more established.

‘Fancy taking a closer look?’ Rob asked as he glanced back to make sure she was following.

By the time they reached the dilapidated driveway of the old Victorian house, Freya was fast asleep. They left her buggy close to the wire-mesh fencing panels that guarded the perimeter of the abandoned house before squeezing between two sections so they could take a closer look. The metal shutters on the doors and windows were corroded but intact, and prevented unwelcome visitors from getting any further.

‘It hasn’t changed, has it?’ Vikki said.

Rob slipped his arms around Vikki’s waist. ‘Ah, but have you?’

In the next moment, he had her pressed up against a nearby wall beneath a rambling wisteria. When they kissed, she felt herself falling back in time. ‘Rob, we can’t,’ she whispered.

‘That’s not what you used to say,’ Rob said and kissed her again.

‘We didn’t have Freya with us then. What if she wakes up and sees us?’ she said when she could draw breath.

Rob’s movements slowed as he began unzipping her padded coat. ‘Does that mean you want me to stop?’

Vikki closed her eyes and groaned softly as Rob kissed her neck. She tried not to think of their little girl only feet away as Rob began undoing her jeans. She searched for a gap in his jacket so she could reach inside.

‘This is what you’ve missed,’ he said as he yanked down her jeans and knickers at the same time before pushing her against the wall. She cried out before she could stop herself as her bare bottom made contact with the ice-cold brick wall.

‘Mummy!’ cried a sleepy Freya.

Rob and Vikki let out matching sighs of frustration.

‘Told you,’ she said.

‘God, I miss you,’ he whispered softly. His hand was between her legs and he waited until she gasped before he stepped back.

‘We can pick up where we left off tomorrow,’ she promised, but Rob had already turned away and slipped back through the fence. Fumbling with her clothes, Vikki was eager to follow, calling after him. ‘Rob?’

He seemed not to hear as he rocked the buggy to soothe Freya back to sleep. When she reached his side, she whispered, ‘I’ll be home soon.’

‘So you keep saying. I’m starting to think you don’t want to come back, Victoria.’

‘Of course I do!’ she hissed. ‘But I have to make sure Mum gets well enough to face the chemo. You want that too, don’t you?’

Rob lowered his head when he said, ‘Sorry, I’m being selfish, aren’t I?’

‘You really think I don’t want to come home?’

Rob gave a vague shake of the head rather than answer as they walked away from the house.

‘I suppose Mum is managing much better on her own now,’ Vikki said when the silence became unbearable. ‘And Lesley’s insisting on dropping by most days, even though we haven’t got any holiday bookings coming up.’

‘It’s your decision, Vikki. You know I’d never push you into doing something you didn’t want to.’

They were walking down the country lane that would take them the long way back to her mum’s. It was easier than tackling the bridle path again, but now it was the choice Rob was giving her that Vikki was struggling with. Her pulse raced as she prepared to tell him that she would come home, now, today, but the words wouldn’t come. She kept thinking about her dad. Vikki had never had the chance to say goodbye to him, and he had been on his own when he collapsed. She couldn’t leave her mum to the same fate.

They walked for a while without speaking, Rob waiting for her to decide, Vikki wishing she didn’t have to. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked eventually, although what she had wanted to ask was, were they OK.

Rob sounded so dejected when he said, ‘I thought it would be nice to have you home for half-term, that’s all.’

‘I want to be home by then too. I want us to take Freya trick-or-treating on Halloween. We can carve pumpkins and eat all her sweets for her own good,’ she said, a bit too brightly. ‘I’ve already got outfits for me and Freya. I made them myself. Mum’s been nagging me for ages to learn how to sew and she’s turning me into a proper little housewife, Not that there’s anything proper about my outfit. I’m going to be a wicked witch. A very naughty wicked witch.’

Rob was smiling when he said, ‘You drive me crazy, do you know that? As if I’m not missing you enough as it is. Still, don’t worry about me, I’m sure I’ll get used to being without you. Who knows? I might not want you back.’

Vikki refused to be taken in by Rob’s brave words: he couldn’t live without her. ‘I love you, Rob, and I hate this as much as you do, but—’

‘But what?’ he asked sharply. In a lower voice, he added, ‘I can’t help thinking you’re actually as desperate as I am to get back home. Is this your way of getting me to be the bad guy and tell your mum? I’m sorry, Vikki, but I can’t do that. For what it’s worth, I think it would be the right thing to do and I’ll support you all the way, but you have to be the one to talk to her.’

As Rob picked up his pace, Vikki trailed behind and didn’t catch up until they arrived back at her mum’s house. They found Elaine in the living room, snoozing with a magazine on her lap. She held her body in an awkward position with the left side of her chest looking almost concave compared to her right breast. Vikki knelt down beside her and squeezed her hand.

When Elaine peeled open her eyes and realized she had not one but two onlookers, she immediately shifted up in her chair and pulled back her shoulders. ‘Sorry, I must have dozed off. Do you want some tea?’

Tears were stinging Vikki’s eyes. ‘Mum, I’ve been thinking—’

‘Vikki, maybe now’s not the time,’ Rob interjected; he had remained at the door. ‘Let’s leave it.’

Elaine looked at them both in turn. ‘Leave what?’

Vikki had spent the last ten minutes walking in silence and rehearsing what she was going to say to her mum. She didn’t know how to deal with this latest turn of events. ‘I miss being at home, Mum. I miss being with Rob,’ she blurted out in the hope that either her mum or her husband would reach the right conclusion for her.

‘And I’ve had you to myself for far too long,’ Elaine said, giving her daughter’s hand a squeeze. ‘I can manage on my own, of course I can, and the sooner you go, the sooner I can prove it to you all.’

‘You don’t have to do this, Elaine,’ Rob said. ‘I can manage perfectly well at home in my little bachelor pad.’

‘Can you now? I’d say that’s all the more reason for your wife to go back home.’

‘Mum—’

Elaine didn’t let her daughter finish. ‘Go home, Victoria, and look after your family. You don’t know how lucky you are to have a husband who loves and supports you. Don’t take that for granted, not ever.’

Tears stung Vikki’s eyes. Why did everything have to be so complicated? She didn’t want to leave her mum to fend for herself. She was terrified of losing her, but now there was a new fear, one that she had never considered before. What if there was a risk of losing her husband too?

‘Go home,’ Elaine repeated.