Читать книгу The Lawyer's Contract Marriage - Amanda Browning - Страница 6

SAM sat at a small table set in the restaurant’s window embrasure and waited for Ransom to arrive. Her watch told her he was a little late, but she wasn’t worried yet. It wasn’t easy to get away from the court on time. She felt…strangely numb. Which was odd, because between crying and thinking she hadn’t got much sleep last night.

Thinking of that, she reached into her handbag for a mirror to check her appearance. Thankfully the puffiness around her eyes had gone, and any redness had been hidden by make-up. She looked normal, which was all she could hope for. The numbness was welcome, but it would wear off all too soon. All she asked was that it would last the day out.

Sighing, she rested her chin on her linked fingers and stared at the world passing by outside. She had spent the night refining the details of how she would break things off with Ransom. She had been prohibited from telling the truth, so her options were limited. Of course, she could declare baldly that she didn’t want to see him any more, but Ransom was not the kind of man to accept that without a good reason. In the cold light of dawn, she had known that she would have to end their relationship in such a way that he would not want to see her again. The only way to do that was to make him hate her. However, she would only be able to put on a creditable performance once, so she had to get it right the first time.

Hands on her shoulders made her jump and look up. Ransom stood there, smiling down at her, and as her heart turned over he stooped and pressed a kiss to her startled lips.

‘You were miles away. What were you dreaming about?’ he asked her as he sat down opposite. Reaching across the table, he took one of her hands and held it between his own.

Sam gave a little shrug. ‘Nothing, really. Just this and that.’

One eyebrow quirked. ‘And here I was thinking you were dreaming about me.’

He made her smile, something she hadn’t felt like doing all morning. Lord, but she was going to miss him so much. ‘I don’t want you to get big-headed.’

Ransom grinned wickedly. ‘Meaning you think I’m perfect as I am? Well, now, I can’t argue with that.’ He stared at her, taking in every feature, and shook his head. ‘You are so beautiful. I can’t get over how beautiful you are.’

Sam uttered a tiny laugh, amazed at how easily he could take her breath away. ‘I’m not beautiful.’ She considered herself ordinary. There was nothing special about a swathe of silver-blonde hair and a pair of large blue eyes. Not having a vain bone in her body, she thought of herself as moderately attractive rather than beautiful. Her bones were fine, but her features were cool rather than animated. She had no idea that her smile transformed her face, making many a man do a double take. As for her figure, she had always considered that average at best. She went in and out in the right places, but a model she was not.

‘You are to me,’ he contradicted, holding her gaze with his intense one.

‘You’re only saying that because you think it will get you somewhere,’ she teased him back, whilst inside she could sense the numbness melting away.

Laughing, he released her hand and picked up the menu. ‘You’re right, young woman. I have definite plans for you.’

‘Oh, yes? I’ll have to check my diary to see if I’m available,’ Sam replied, feeling her heart squeeze tightly.

‘You will be,’ he told her confidently.

His confidence was unbearably painful, and Sam stared down at her own menu, though the words were unfocussed. She had planned to tell him goodbye here, where the restraints of being in public would limit what he could say, but she knew she couldn’t do it. The numbness was wearing off second by second now that he was here. Everything he said had her control slipping, so if she tried to reject him she would only end up in tears and that would never do. It was the wrong moment. She had to regroup and try again another time.

‘I’ve been thinking,’ Ransom broke into her troubled thoughts, and she looked up to find him watching her over the top of his menu. ‘I have some leave left, and you must have some too. Why don’t we go off together for a week? We could drive down to the coast and I can initiate you into the joys of sailing. What do you think?’

‘I didn’t know you were a sailor,’ Sam remarked in surprise.

Ransom grinned. ‘You don’t know everything about me yet,’ he teased. ‘If you must know, I could sail before I could walk, so my mother tells me. I love it, but I don’t have a boat of my own yet. One day I will, then we’ll sail off around the world together and not come back until we’re good and ready. What do you say?’

It was a wonderful dream, and she only wished she would be sharing it with him. ‘It sounds perfect, but we should try the week first in case I turn out to be a bad sailor.’

‘That’s a deal, then,’ he declared happily, and returned to studying the dishes on offer. ‘What are you having?’ he asked, and Sam forced herself to focus on the menu.

‘A pasta salad, I think,’ she decided. Something light that wouldn’t choke her when she tried to swallow.

‘Mmm, I’ve a fancy for pasta myself. What if we—?’ Whatever he was about to say ended abruptly as the beeper he carried with him went off. ‘Damn,’ he muttered under his breath as he pulled it from his jacket pocket and studied it. When he glanced up, his expression was rueful. ‘Sorry, darling, but I’ve got to go. It’s from Ian, which means the jury must be coming back. Listen, you’re having dinner with me tonight. Eight o’clock my place. Don’t be late!’ he commanded, leaving her no time to argue as he stood up, kissed her quickly then hurried to the door and was gone.

Sam let out a shaky breath and sank back in her seat. This was awful. Here he was making plans for a future they would never have, and she hadn’t had the strength to tell him. Tonight she would have to be firm, for it wasn’t fair to him. She had to nip everything in the bud before it went too far. The prospect took away what was left of her appetite, so she dropped some money on the table and left. A condemned person, she was coming to realise, rarely ate a hearty meal.

That evening she drove herself to Ransom’s flat in a mood of steely resolve. She had spoken to her parents that morning and resisted all their attempts to persuade her to change her mind. When she contacted them again later, they had signed the agreement, and arrangements were already being made for Tony to go and stay with relatives in Australia. Which left only herself with unfinished business.

Of course, it would probably have been easier to simply phone him and say she couldn’t see him any more, but that seemed like the coward’s way out. He deserved she should tell him to his face. What she said would have to give him no room for hope, because there wasn’t any. Sam knew that the best she could do for him now would be to make him never want to see her again. She had to think only of causing him the least pain, not on shielding herself.

Ransom took a moment or two to answer the door, and she had to smile when he did. He was wearing jeans and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Around his waist he had tucked a tea towel, and she realised he was cooking dinner himself. A curl of hair had fallen over his forehead, and to Sam he looked endearingly handsome.

He, in turn, looked her over and she saw the flicker of flame in his eyes. Clearly he liked what he saw. She had chosen to wear a sapphire-blue lacy top to match her eyes and black evening trousers to seduce him. It had been important to make herself look good for the task ahead of her. It was meant as a confidence booster.

‘I don’t know whether to eat dinner or you,’ he declared huskily as he shut the door with one hand and pulled her against him with the other. His arms tightened around her as he lowered his head and kissed her.

Though it wasn’t what she had planned, Sam couldn’t help but kiss him back in silent desperation. One kiss was not enough, and as others followed passion deepened. As their teeth nipped and tongues duelled and incited, she could feel her body turning molten with desire. She wanted him so badly and needed him so very much, and yet she dared not go further. It wouldn’t be fair or right.

A thought that finally gave her the strength to break off their kiss and ease herself to arm’s length. ‘You invited me here for dinner, not to be dinner, remember,’ she told him in a breathless voice, knowing she looked thoroughly kissed.

He lifted his hands to her shoulders, his smile rueful. ‘You can think of food at a time like this?’

Sam glanced towards the kitchenette and wrinkled her nose. ‘I think you should too. Something’s starting to burn.’

Ransom released her immediately and hurried into the small kitchen. He removed a frying pan from the heat and checked the contents. ‘It’s OK. Just a little singed around the edges. It’s your fault for making me forget about everything else,’ he called back to her.

Sam was eying the table he had set. There were napkins and crystal glasses. Two perfect rosebuds and candles. To even an untutored eye, this was a special occasion. ‘What are we celebrating?’ she asked curiously, then a thought struck her. ‘Of course. You won the case.’

Ransom came back into the room carrying a bowl of salad, which he set on the table. ‘That too,’ he confirmed. ‘Light the candles, would you?’ he said before vanishing again.

She did as he asked, telling herself it would be churlish to leave so soon. The case was important to him. The least she could do was celebrate its successful outcome. Then she would do what she had come to do and leave. Inside she knew she was putting off the dreaded moment to the last minute, but she couldn’t help it. Just a few more hours wouldn’t hurt, surely.

It was a bittersweet time, when she shared Ransom’s moment of glory. They laughed and chatted, and toasted his success with a bottle of fine white wine. The evening fairly flew by, and when Ransom went to make the coffee Sam knew she had done herself no favours by staying, yet she couldn’t regret it. So she smiled at him when he returned and enjoyed these final fleeting moments of happiness.

Sam would never remember what she was laughing at when she suddenly realised he was quietly sitting there staring at her as if she was the most precious thing he had ever come across. The laughter died away as their eyes met.

‘Marry me,’ Ransom said simply, and the two words sent her world spinning.

‘What?’ she asked faintly, not believing she could have heard correctly.

His lips quirked with mild amusement, though his eyes said he was deadly serious. ‘I said marry me. I’m asking you to be my wife, Sam.’

The confirmation sent savage fingers to tear at her heart. She was stunned into silence, choked by the knowledge that this was the moment she had longed for. All she wanted was to say yes and spend the rest of her life with him, but with a sinking heart she knew that she had just been given the perfect moment to tear their relationship to shreds.

Knowing hesitation would be fatal, she started to laugh. ‘You’re joking, right?’ Shaking her head, she placed a hand over her heart. ‘Boy, you had me going there for a minute.’ Whilst Ransom sat there in total shock, she pressed home her advantage. ‘I’m not interested in marriage and all that commitment stuff right now.’ Reaching for a bread stick, she nibbled on it, though it almost choked her.

Ransom finally recovered enough to react. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he charged, with what she considered justifiable outrage.

‘I’m glad we’re getting this out into the open now. The truth is I don’t want to be tied down,’ Sam continued in the same vein, whilst her heart began to beat faster and faster.

‘Cut it out. This isn’t the time to fool around,’ Ransom ordered sharply. ‘I love you, Sam, and I know you love me.’ She could see the instant he had said it that doubt crept in. ‘Or are you telling me it was all a lie?’

‘Well, of course I love you, Ransom. You’re a very handsome man, and the sex is fantastic, but…’ She pretended to notice the look on his face for the first time. Her hand went to her throat. ‘Oh, my God, you were serious!’

Ransom went very still. All that she could see moving was the pulse at the base of his throat. ‘What’s going on, Sam?’

It tore her apart to see the pain replace happiness in his eyes. ‘Nothing, I swear. We just seem to have got our lines crossed. I’m so sorry, Ransom, but surely you knew I was only after a good time?’

A nerve ticked in his jaw. ‘A good time?’ he repeated tersely.

She swallowed hard, but managed to smile encouragingly at him. ‘You know the sort of thing. Dinner, the theatre. Mind-blowing sex.’

That produced a shake of his head. ‘Pull the other leg, sweetheart. I never got that message from you, ever.’

Of course he hadn’t. She loved him, damn it. But it was over, so she sent him an old-fashioned look. ‘Well, I could hardly come across that shallow if I wanted the good times to last, could I? I’m sorry if you read it wrong, but the truth is, if it’s marriage you want, you had better look for another woman.’

She pushed herself up on legs that trembled badly and went to where she had left her jacket, holding it over her arm before her like a shield. Her heart ached at the coldness that had settled over his face. ‘I think it would be best if I left now.’ She hesitated, wanting to plead with him not to hate her, but it was that hatred that would help him get over her, so in the end all she said was a husky, ‘Bye, darling. Maybe I’ll see you around some day,’ and let herself out of the flat.

There were simply not enough words in any language to describe how she felt then. What meagre defences she had been able to erect crumbled to nothing. Pain surged in like a tidal wave, and for long minutes she was unable to move. Only the fear that Ransom might find her there gave her the strength to stumble downstairs and out to her car. She fought tears all the way home, and it was nothing less than a miracle that she didn’t have an accident. Once indoors she succumbed to her overwhelming misery and cried long into the night.

Somewhere around dawn she finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

A state she was dragged from by the sound of someone pressing their finger on the bell of her bedsit and keeping it there. In no mood for inconsiderate delivery men, she stomped to the door to deliver a heartfelt warning, and was dumbfounded to find Ransom on her doorstep. Having told herself she would not see him again after last night, she was too surprised to prevent him brushing past her and striding into her tiny living room.

One glance at his rigid back warned her he was here to demand further explanation. She hadn’t allowed for that, and the bottom fell out of her stomach. Following him into the room, she finger-combed her hair and braced herself for what was to come. He turned to meet her, and looking at his face nearly undid her. He looked grey and haggard, the patent result of a sleepless night. She wanted to reach out to comfort him, but that would only defeat her object. All she could do was keep to her plan, so she folded her arms and sighed testily.

‘Honestly, Ransom, couldn’t this have waited?’ To her own ears she sounded bored, and she was amazed at her acting ability.

‘No,’ he growled fiercely. ‘I want an explanation for what happened last night!’

Of course he did, but she was prevented from giving him the true one. She had to bluff it out as best she could. ‘You asked me to marry you, I said no.’

An answer that had his teeth grinding angrily. ‘There’s more to it than that. I’m not such a bad judge of people. I know we want the same things. To be a family, have children, grow old together,’ he charged.

Sam could feel the powerful emotions seething inside him, and wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself for what she was putting him through. She only knew she couldn’t think of another way of doing this.

‘Oh, come on, Ransom, you don’t believe everything you hear, do you? OK, I might have said it, but not seriously. A person says a lot of things when they want to keep a man happy. I was onto a good thing, so what if I told you a few white lies? The truth is I don’t want a husband or family. You’ve picked the wrong woman for that,’ she told him, pretending to stifle a yawn. Then, as a master stroke, she closed the gap between them and started playing with the button of his leather jacket. ‘However, I’d be happy for things to stay as they are, if you want.’

He brushed her hand away with a look of utter disgust. ‘No, thanks, not even as a gift. You played me for a fool, Sam, but not any more. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I want nothing more to do with you.’

Fighting back tears, she managed to produce a fatalistic sigh. ‘You win some, you lose some. Take care of yourself, Ransom. It’s a jungle out there.’

He stared at her for a moment or two longer, a nerve ticking away in his jaw, then he pointed a warning finger at her. ‘You’d better not try this on anyone else, darling. They might not be as forbearing as I am. I only want to kill you, they might try to do it.’

With that he slammed out of her bedsit and her life. She was left staring at the door, tears finally streaming down her cheeks.

‘I love you,’ she whispered achingly as her heart shattered into a thousand irretrievable pieces. Her only solace was in knowing she had done the right thing. He might hate her now, but he would get over it. As for herself, she knew she never would.

In the next few days Sam cried over Ransom until at last she was all cried out, and then she papered over the cracks and faced up to the future without him. Her family closed ranks behind her. Those who didn’t know the truth, and were surprised by her decision to marry Leno Grimaldi, followed their parents’ line and said nothing.

When she dined with Leno that Saturday evening, she discovered that he had plans for a big wedding. She would have preferred something less elaborate, but fell in with his wishes because he genuinely thought he was giving her something she would enjoy. She did try to protest when he took her to an expensive jeweller’s and picked out an engagement ring for her. The large diamond was far too ostentatious, but Leno declared he wanted nothing but the best for her, so she gave in. When it came to the matching wedding bands, she simply went along without fuss, not having the heart to argue any more.

The surprise engagement party, celebrated at a top London hotel, was an evening she battled through with a plastic smile tacked to her lips. She hadn’t realised just how important a man Leno was until that night, when the press were there to take countless photos of the soon to be happy couple for the avid readers of their magazines and society pages.

Whatever Leno wanted happened like magic. As soon as a wedding date was set, he arranged for a top designer to make her dress. Sam stumbled through the arrangements, trying to fit shopping trips around her job, but finally she had to give that up. Gifts rained in from right and left, until she wanted to scream that it wasn’t real. Yet it was very real, and Sam made a conscious decision not to think ahead to after the wedding, when she and Leno would finally be alone together as husband and wife.

A week away from the wedding, Sam escaped from the final fitting of her wedding dress and knew she just had to get a few moments of peace or she would go crazy. She and Ransom had loved walking in Kensington Gardens, and suddenly she just had to go there. To be somewhere where she had been happy. Seconds later she was hailing a passing taxi.

As soon as she started walking along the pathways Sam felt as if she could breathe again. Peace settled around her, and after a while she spied an empty seat and sat down. Everything was so normal here, she thought. Unlike her life, which was like a runaway train. Closing her eyes, she allowed the peace and tranquillity to soothe her battered soul.

She was unaware that someone had sat down at the other end of the seat until they spoke.

‘So, it wasn’t actually marriage you were against, it was the lack of wealth of the man doing the asking,’ Ransom declared cuttingly, and Sam’s heart lurched as her eyes shot open and she stared at him in shock.

‘Where did you come from?’ she gasped out, wondering if she had somehow magicked him up.

His smile was chilly. ‘I was passing by when I saw you get out of the taxi, so I followed you. I wanted to congratulate you on your forthcoming marriage.’

Somehow she had believed that he would never know about it. She should have known better. ‘How did you find out?’

‘A colleague of mine saw one of the newspaper articles and recognised your name. He thought I might be interested,’ Ransom explained with a mocking laugh. ‘You made quite a fetching couple. Shame he’s old enough to be your father, but what the hell? He’s loaded, so it’s a perfect match!’

Sam swallowed hard, unable to voice the lie and say that she cared for Leno. She did, however, raise her chin and stare him out. ‘I can marry who I like, and for whatever reason I like.’

Ransom laughed coldly. ‘And he has several million reasons for you to like him.’

‘I’m not marrying him for his money,’ she put in swiftly, though in a roundabout way she was. She just hadn’t known quite how wealthy Leno was.

‘Pardon me if I don’t believe you. I think I was lucky not being rich enough for your taste. I wonder how long it would have taken me to realise it wasn’t me you loved, but my money?’ Ransom shot back with withering scorn. ‘Perhaps I ought to put him straight on a few things.’

The suggestion had her heart leaping into her throat. The last thing she wanted was for Leno to meet Ransom. ‘That won’t be necessary,’ she countered in a strangled voice. ‘Leno and I have an understanding.’

Ransom’s beautiful eyes were full of dislike as he looked at her. ‘I get it. He has his trophy wife and you get to spend his money. How did I ever think I could love you? You two deserve each other!’

Every word he uttered struck home with devastating accuracy and drew blood. If he hadn’t hated her enough before, he certainly did now. She had no defence except not to let him see how he had hurt her.

‘Have you finished?’ she asked him with deceptive calm.

Ransom looked her up and down as if he had never seen her before. ‘My God, you’re a cool customer. Nothing reaches you, does it? It’s OK, darling, I’m done. I wish you joy of your fortune. May it keep you warm at night.’

With those parting words Ransom got up and walked away. Sam knew he never looked back, because she kept her eyes on him till he was out of sight. This time she didn’t cry, for the hurt went too deep. She stared unseeingly at the beauty around her and laid the first stones of the wall of ice that would eventually surround her heart and keep it safe. After all, it held her most precious possession: her love for him.

When she finally began to retrace her steps, she did so with her feelings securely encased in ice and a determination to never look back. Whatever happened from this moment, nothing would touch her, neither hurt nor joy, for those were things of the past and that was gone for ever.