Читать книгу The Trouble With Cowgirls - Amanda Renee - Страница 11
ОглавлениеBy lunchtime Lucy couldn’t get out of work fast enough. Her first day wasn’t exactly going as planned. The safety of her car provided little shelter against the torrent of emotions rocketing through her veins. Why hadn’t Nicolino forewarned her about Lane?
When she was a teenager, she couldn’t wait for the school year to end. Summers had meant seeing Lane again. From the moment her plane landed, they’d been inseparable whenever he wasn’t working. By the end of their final summer together, he’d accepted a better job in Wyoming and they’d begun making plans to live there once Lucy had graduated from higher secondary school the following year. Their plans had been short-lived. Once Lucy arrived home in Italy, she’d discovered she was two months pregnant. Obviously she had been wrong in assuming Lane had stayed in Wyoming, but Nicolino should have mentioned it in conversation at some point.
She lowered the window in a desperate attempt to pull more air into her lungs. Tears clouded her vision at the memories of what could have been. Her fingers lightly brushed along the side of her rib cage. Underneath her shirt, inked into her skin for eternity was one word: Lane.
“I don’t have time for this.” Lucy started the ignition. Everything she did, despite Carina’s protests, was for her daughter. There wasn’t room for the past. Any efforts to push Lane to the back of her mind would probably prove futile, but for sanity’s sake, she had to try. She had less than fifteen minutes to make her appointment to register Carina for school. Ella had offered to drive, but the school was close enough to find on her own. Besides, she was desperate for some much-needed alone time, however brief.
Carina had been out of school for only a little over a week, which was good considering their transcontinental move. The Texas school year had begun a week earlier, so Carina wouldn’t be too far behind. Lucy pulled into the parking lot with seconds to spare. She was the school’s first impression of her daughter and she didn’t want to ruin it. Within an hour, she was on her way back to work. Overall, the enrollment had been painless enough because she’d emailed most of the paperwork before they’d left Italy.
The school’s biggest concern was Carina’s ability to speak English, despite Lucy’s reassurance that her daughter was fluent in Italian, French and English. Now she wondered how well her daughter would do, given the way Carina had struggled to understand the language yesterday. Lucy had gone through the same learning curve during her first summer in America. But she’d only been vacationing and no one had expected her to understand perfectly. It would be different for Carina. Lucy couldn’t sit beside her in school to make sure she grasped everything the teachers said, let alone translate the other students’ slang on the playground. The additional change from private to public school had given her daughter one more reason not to talk to her. She’d heard other parents say the teenage years were the most unpleasant. If they were any worse than this, Lucy didn’t think she’d survive. Hopefully, she could prepare herself over the next four years.
She pulled up beside Bridle Dance’s main house. Ella’s deceased uncle, Joe Langtry, had lovingly built the log mansion. Lucy had been heartbroken to hear of his passing four summers ago. He’d always gone out of his way to explain things to her, as had Lane. Lucy winced at how easily he came to mind and how much it still hurt to think about him. She needed to keep Lane out of her thoughts unless it was work related. She was his boss and anything else would be unprofessional, not that she wanted anything else to happen.
Seeing Ella in the Langtrys’ side yard, Lucy stepped from the car.
“How did it go?” Ella unlatched the gate and held it open.
“Good. I’m a little concerned about the language issue, but I’m hopeful.” She waved to Carina on the far side of the garden, but her daughter was too preoccupied with a large black poodle to even notice she was there. “How has she been?”
“Quiet.” Ella smiled. “The most I’ve heard her talk is to the horses and Barney over there—and that was in Italian.”
Lucy shrugged. “I guess there’s no harm in it as long as she speaks English to other kids and her teachers. Are you sure you don’t mind taking her clothes shopping today? I can take her after work.”
“It’s not a problem at all. My kids will take the bus home and keep themselves occupied until dinner.” Ella’s face brightened. “I’m looking forward to shopping with just one child for a change. It’ll bring back memories of when I used to take you shopping.”
Lucy appreciated Ella’s offer to take Carina for school clothes. The local kids had picked on Lucy during her first summer in town and she didn’t want her daughter to suffer the same fate. Italian fashions and Texas casual weren’t exactly the same thing. Ella—who was fifteen years older than Lucy—had given her a Southern makeover back then and was bestowing the same kindness on Carina.
Lucy removed a small envelope of cash from her bag and handed it to Ella. “It’s not much, but there should be enough in there for whatever she needs, within reason. I was thinking a few pieces to dress down what she already owns.” Lucy hated to admit it, but she was glad Ella was the one taking Carina shopping. Her daughter wasn’t as crabby with other people. “She won’t be happy about going to a discount clothing store, but a lesson in frugality will do her some good. Besides, she’s always hated wearing a school uniform, so this will give her the chance to play around and develop her own style.” Lucy checked her watch. “I’ve been gone too long. I need to get back to work.”
“Yes, you do,” Nicolino said from behind her.
Lucy spun to face him. She might have held it together inside the stables, but outside, the gloves came off. “Why didn’t you tell me Lane still worked here?”
Nicolino jammed his hands into his pockets. “If I had, would you have still taken the position?”
Lucy shook her head. The thought of Lane working there hadn’t even entered her mind when Nicolino had offered her the job. “Maybe. I would have had to really think about it.”
“Well, there you have it.” Nicolino tilted his hat back, a bit too self-assured for Lucy’s liking. “Under the circumstances, moving here was the best thing for you and Carina. I didn’t want to risk you turning me down based on an old relationship.”
“You know it was more than that.” Lucy didn’t want to remember how ashamed her parents had been of her when they’d learned she was pregnant with Lane’s baby. “Enlighten me on one thing. Lane said he waited for me in Wyoming for a year before he found out I’d gotten married. But I married Antonio before Lane even left for Wyoming, and I asked you to tell him we were over.”
“It wasn’t my place to explain it to him, and since he was leaving, I didn’t see the harm in keeping quiet. Never mind the fact that I wasn’t too pleased he knocked up my baby cousin. Besides, Lane’s persistent. He wouldn’t have just accepted that you two were over. He would have had questions—questions I wasn’t prepared to answer because you and your parents explicitly told me not to say a word. I didn’t see any other way to handle it.” Nicolino gently squeezed her shoulders. “Don’t worry. I had a talk with Lane earlier and he knows the deal.”
“The deal.” Lucy sighed. While she welcomed Nicolino’s help, she didn’t want to be coddled, either. “Just what is this deal? I got the distinct impression that Lane still holds a grudge.”
Nicolino slapped his thigh. “Dammit, I thought he and I had an understanding.”
“Don’t you dare pass this off on Lane,” Ella hissed. “I told you to tell them both before Lucy arrived. You chose not to. Now look at the mess you’ve already made. I knew I should’ve told them both myself.”
Lucy stepped between the two of them. “Would one of you please explain what’s going on?”
Nicolino kicked at the dirt. “Lane thought the barn manager position was his.”
“He what?” Lucy covered her mouth for fear of what might come out of it. No wonder he was angry. “When did he find out the job wasn’t his?” she asked from behind her fingers.
“When I made the announcement this morning.” Nicolino held up his hands. “And before you both rip into me, Lane did a fine enough job of that already. I was wrong. I admit it. I should’ve told him as soon as I offered you the—”
“Dio mio.” Lucy looked heavenward. “You only hired me to get us here.” Nicolino turned his back to them. “I’m right, aren’t I?” Lucy grabbed his arm and forced him to face her. “Lane told me he’s my second-in-command. He earned the promotion, didn’t he? I’ve wondered why you offered me the job, since I don’t have any experience outside of the horses Antonio owned. I thought this was a sign from above, but it was you playing God.”
“You’re better off here than over there,” Nicolino argued. “And you’re wrong. You are qualified. You should be proud of your education.”
“I am proud. Proud enough to know you hired me because I’m your cousin.” Lucy wasn’t sure what to do. It was her first day and her employees already had good reason to hate her. “You could have asked us to come, anyway. I would have found something else. You do realize you’ve pitted me against my ex-boyfriend, right? If I were smart, I should demand you give the job to Lane and work under him until I found something else.”
“No, you won’t,” Nicolino retorted. “Lane is very good, but he doesn’t have the education or the experience with the employees. I’ve been to your estate and I’ve attended your black-tie affairs. You’ve managed a large staff. You also have a presence and a way with people. Lane’s rough around the edges, where you’re much more refined. We need someone to stay on top of the latest equine advancements and work closely with our vets and clients. Lane doesn’t have that polish.”
“The staff I had hardly compares to the size of this ranch.” Lucy rubbed her forehead in a vain bid to thwart the pounding in her skull. “Relax, I’m not going anywhere. I need this job too much to walk away from it.”
The pressure had increased exponentially now that she knew she’d stolen a job from a man she once loved. A man against whom she had repeatedly measured her husband. Oh, she had loved Antonio, but she’d never been in love with him. The feeling had been mutual. He’d taken good care of her, but they’d never found the romance they’d both craved.
Lucy had been distraught when she’d discovered she was carrying Lane’s baby. He’d been resolute about not having kids and had always made certain they used protection. When the experts said no birth control was 100 percent effective, they weren’t kidding. Uncertain of what she should do next, Lucy had turned to her older sister for advice, who then immediately betrayed her confidence and told their parents. They had insisted she marry immediately. Lucy being unwed and pregnant with a Texas ranchhand’s child would have tarnished the family’s name in their small village—something her parents refused to allow.
Antonio—a longtime family friend and ten years her senior—had agreed to be her husband. The decision to marry Antonio and not tell Lane she was pregnant had been heart wrenching. She’d known Lane wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of a child, especially when he was beginning a new job in Wyoming—never mind how disgraced her parents would have been if the truth surrounding her baby’s paternity had gotten out. Eighteen and scared, Lucy had felt the need to secure her baby’s future and married Antonio in a civil ceremony a week later. Only Antonio and Lucy’s family knew who her child’s father really was.
“I’m going back to work.” There was no point continuing the argument when she had no intention of quitting. They’d have to find a way to get along, despite the past. “I’ll pick Carina up from your house later.”
“You’re welcome to join us for dinner. That is, if you can stand being around my husband after what he’s done.” Ella glowered at Nicolino.
Lucy laughed. She wanted to stay mad at her cousin, but she knew he’d kept Lane a secret only in order to protect her. Lane probably wouldn’t have been very understanding and she couldn’t blame him.
“I think we’ll pass.” Lucy was still digesting the rich Southern food from the previous night’s dinner. “I have a lot to discuss with Carina before she starts school tomorrow. I’m still debating whether I should drive her or allow her to take the bus.”
“Let me know either way,” Ella said. “She won’t be alone if she takes the bus. Lord knows she’ll have enough cousins there with her.”
Regardless of how Lucy felt about Nicolino’s little deception, Ramblewood was the best place for Carina. She’d always been close to her cousins on Antonio’s side, but after the divorce, they’d kept their distance. Lucy could adjust to almost anything; Carina was much more sensitive and didn’t accept change well. Even though her daughter appeared tough on the outside, her silence was louder than any scream.
Lucy climbed back into her car and pulled around to the ranch’s parking lot. A knot formed in her stomach at the thought of facing Lane again. She mentally prepared herself as she trudged down the path to the stables. The mid-September air seemed heavier than it had a few minutes ago at the main house. The scrape of a shovel against the cement floor greeted her as the sweet scent of hay tickled her nose. Out of everything she’d lost in Italy, Lucy missed their horses the most. She made her way down the exposed-timber hallway as snorts sounded from behind the full-height mahogany stall doors.
The building branched off in four directions from the main hub where Nicolino had introduced her to everyone earlier. She flattened herself against the wall as a groom led two horses past. She knew where the main offices were, but after that she was clueless. She reached into her bag and withdrew a notebook. The first order of business was to sketch a map. Helpless was twice as profane as any four-letter curse word and she refused to ever feel that way again. She started with what she knew and drew a big X in the center of the page.
“Looking for buried treasure?” Lane said, peering over her shoulder.
Lucy’s hand flew to her chest. “You startled me.” She looked up at him. His straw Stetson partially shaded his soul-searching deep brown eyes as they met hers. Subtle lines had creased his features over the years. A day’s worth of stubble shadowed his upper lip and jawline. While he appeared harder than she remembered, his expression had softened since earlier that day. And he was close. So close his breath kissed her cheek. “I—I feel like I need to leave a popcorn trail around here.” She shifted, creating more of a distance between them. “I can’t believe how much has changed.”
“It’s been a while.” Lane sighed loudly and started down one of the corridors. “Come on, let’s make a map.”
“Uh...are you sure?” Lucy needed someone to show her around, but she had no doubt there were many other people who could handle the task. Anyone besides Lane would do. “I don’t want to keep you from anything.”
“You’re keeping me from my promotion.” Lane halted midstep and turned to face her. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I’m still trying to accept losing the job I thought I had on top of my ex-girlfriend’s sudden reappearance. You have to admit it’s a potent combination.” For a moment, Lucy thought he was about to take her hand in his. He didn’t, and she wasn’t sure why that made her a touch sad. It certainly would have been inappropriate if he had. “I’d love to say it’s not personal,” he continued, “but we both know a part of it is. I hate this, but there’s more to it. And I’m not sure if it’s me finally getting some closure or if it’s because I’m happy to see you again.”
Lucy steadied herself with a few deep breaths. This can’t be happening. I can’t still have feelings for Lane.
The guilt she carried after losing their baby four months into the pregnancy had never faded. Their son never took his first breath or said his first words. She never had the chance to hold him in her arms or even kiss him goodbye. She’d named him Lane, much to her family’s dismay, but Antonio had understood and supported her decision. She’d lost both Lanes and her heart wasn’t strong enough to let one back in without the other.
* * *
GIVING LUCY A tour was the absolute last thing Lane wanted to do, but he wasn’t going to walk away from his job just yet. The physical closeness to Lucy was almost unbearable. The honey scent of her long mahogany hair was intoxicating and distracting at the same time. He wondered if her skin still felt as silky as it once had beneath his rough palms. Thoughts he shouldn’t think churned in his mind. The woman had been back in his life for a few hours and already she’d gotten to him.
“Tell me about the ranch you worked on in Italy.” Considering Nicolino had introduced Lucy using her maiden name, he wanted to ask about her husband, but he resolved to keep it professional. “What horses did you breed?”
“I—I didn’t.” Her voice was barely audible. “I went to school and managed the horses on our estate.”
Lane froze at the entrance to the grain room. “Estate?” He hadn’t expected that answer. “How many horses did you have?”
“Twenty.” Lucy reached past him and opened the door, leaving him standing in the hallway.
Lane forced himself to follow her inside despite his shock at her response. “You do realize this is the state’s largest paint and cutting horse ranch, right?”
Lucy cleared her throat. “Yes, Lane. I’m well aware of its size. Thank you for reminding me, though.”
How could Nicolino hire someone with zero hands-on experience? If that wasn’t a kick in the teeth. No—she wouldn’t last. He’d give her a week before she realized how unprepared she was. He’d help Lucy, but no way would he train her. It took years of apprenticeship to learn the job and he wasn’t about to mentor his boss. Lane doubted it would ever come to that. If Lucy didn’t realize she was underqualified, then the Langtrys ultimately would. They prided themselves on the quality of Bridle Dance stock, and inexperience meant safety concerns. Lane might take issue with Nicolino, but allowing the company to suffer was not an option. Until he could prove Lucy unsuitable, he’d have to ensure she did nothing to harm the operation, the horses or herself. He didn’t relish having to babysit his ex-girlfriend.
Lane continued to show Lucy around each wing of the Bridle Dance stables and introduced her to the majority of the people on the day staff. The state-of-the-art breeding lab fascinated Lucy the most and her knowledge of the process surprised him. There had been a breeding program in place when she’d last visited Ramblewood, but it had grown significantly since then. Maybe a nudge or two in that direction would tempt her to explore other options. He’d prefer her off the ranch entirely, but that wasn’t his choice to make. Seeing her in any other position would be more tolerable than in the one he’d earned.
“Here’s our home base.” Lane opened the door to a small room located on the main stable floor near the entrance. One thing he hadn’t factored in was that they’d be sharing an office. Not that they’d have the opportunity to spend much time in it together. The majority of their day would be spent either in the stables or outside. Being next to her inside the cramped space just about short-circuited his brain. He noticed beads of sweat forming above her lip and he wondered if she was nervous about being alone with him or if she was hot from the relentless September heat. He didn’t dare ask.
Even though he hated that Lucy had the job he wanted, he couldn’t blame her for getting an education. He was the same age, and she was a reminder that he should be further along in his career. He’d been on his own since his eighteenth birthday. Lucy had been a year older when she’d had Carina. He gave her credit for raising a child while going to college.
Lane sat at the desk across from hers. He cleared his throat. “It’s rare that we’ll have a chance to sit down like this during most days. Is there anything you want to ask that I haven’t already covered? I’m all yours.” He wanted to take back the words the moment he’d said them. Flirting with Lucy was not an option, not that he was attempting to flirt with her. He would not ride down that trail again, especially now that he knew the extent of her betrayal.
Lucy flipped open her notebook and removed a sheet of paper printed on both sides, resembling a scan from a classroom workbook rather than something she’d typed. Couldn’t she have come up with her own questions to ask? “How often does the farrier come in?”
“He never leaves. Well, we allow him to go home at night. We have an on-site farrier named Jorge—he works exclusively for Bridle Dance. He’s responsible for all shoeing and hoof trimming.”
“Who manages that schedule?” Lucy continued to take notes without bothering to look at him. He should have been relieved, but he found it almost dismissive. Okay, so their time together had ended a decade ago; it was still history—a lot of history. He wasn’t a stranger, yet she was treating him like one.
It was a battle to concentrate on her questions and not ask any of his own. “You do.” Lane stood and pulled a binder from the shelf. The movement caused her to glance up at him. When their gazes met, he instantly regretted wishing for eye contact moments ago. Unprepared for the disruption to his thought process, his mind struggled for words. “It’s impossible...” Lane cleared his throat again. “It’s impossible for you to check every horse on the ranch yourself. We have a schedule depending on the horse’s age, what stage of training it’s in, its activity level and so on. We handle the yearlings more frequently, so they’ll get accustomed to the process. This allows us to see if they require any corrective shoeing. Jorge will email you a daily log sheet and you’ll need to print, review and file it in here every day.”
Lane felt as though he were talking at warp speed. After he’d explained employee schedules, payroll procedures and supply ordering and had answered every question she had asked, the afternoon was almost over. It was too much time together—too much closeness. He was wrong before. The past needed to stay in the past. Too many of the times they’d shared together thrashed wildly in his brain like a bull trying to buck its rider. Lane stood and reached for the doorknob, wondering why he’d ever closed the door in the first place. “There’s also a checklist we run through at the end of the day and give to Brad—the night manager—when he comes in, which should be shortly. He’ll repeat the same process in the morning with you. We’ll cover that tomorrow.”
Lucy’s fingers lightly brushed against his arm as she tried to stop him before he opened the door. The singe of heat he felt from the brief contact lasted only a second before she apologetically stepped back. “I know I told you earlier that this wasn’t the place to discuss what happened, but I need you to know that I’m sorry for the way things ended. I didn’t know you waited for me in Wyoming. I thought Nicolino had told you and that’s my fault. You deserved a personal explanation from me. I also found out you wanted this job. If I had known, I never would have accepted the position. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away from it, either.”
“This morning was a complete surprise.” Lane folded his arms. “Nicolino claims you’re more qualified than me. While that remains to be seen, I’ll admit that I’m surprised at the career path you chose, considering the way you used to party when we were kids. I always knew you were smart. I just never knew you had the commitment to stay with something.” Lane cringed at his own words. “That didn’t come out exactly how I meant it. Let’s just say...you were much more free-spirited back then. Your dedication and commitment to your education is commendable, along with raising a beautiful daughter. It couldn’t have been easy.”
“Thank you. It wasn’t exactly part of my grand plan, but I can’t imagine life without Carina.” Lucy dropped her gaze, shifting from one foot to the other. “The circumstances surrounding my marriage to Antonio were far from ideal. The love we shared for our daughter kept us together, especially after we almost lost her. Carina was born three months premature. Her chances for survival were almost nonexistent. I can’t even begin to tell you what that was like. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy.”
“I had no idea you even had a child until yesterday.” A part of him wasn’t sure he was ready to hear about the child she’d had with some other man; another part wanted to know everything about her life since he’d last seen her. “What happened?”
Lucy’s eyes shone with wetness. “The majority of my pregnancy was spent bedridden. When I went into labor, they didn’t think either one of us would survive. I refused to give up on her. Watching your child lie there helpless inside an incubator, connected to tubes and wires while a machine breathes for her, is beyond words. I knew every beep, every hum from the equipment in the room. Carina’s a fighter.” She met his eyes once again. “I’m sorry if the news of my marriage hurt you. It wasn’t all wine and roses, but it wasn’t terrible, either. Antonio loved Carina. He...”
Lane straightened his spine, still trying to wrap his head around what she had told him and what she had purposely left out. “He what? What happened to Antonio?”
Lucy sighed. “Antonio died of a brain aneurysm four months ago.”
Lane had wondered if Carina’s father was still involved in her life. Death had been the furthest possibility from his mind. He understood the anguish her daughter probably felt, having lost his own father as a child. “That must’ve been incredibly difficult for you both.”
“We’d been divorced for almost a year when it happened, but we had remained very close. Antonio was my best friend. But there were things I didn’t know. Like how much debt he had. We lived well—too well. After he died, I discovered some of his business affairs were not—how do I say it in English?—legitimate. All of his assets were seized and we were left with nothing. We didn’t even have my family’s support after he died. If you thought they were strict when I was growing up, that was nothing compared to what happened after Antonio and I divorced. They disowned us. Try explaining that to a kid.” Lucy’s nervous laughter reminded him of the summer they’d met, when she’d opened up about her parents’ harsh criticism. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her as he’d once done. “My divorce and his business improprieties disgraced the Travisonno family name. No one else will communicate with us except Nicolino and Ella. And that’s why we’re here. I never meant to create problems for you.”
Lucy’s declaration made him feel guilty for being angry at her at first. He didn’t want to be mad and he definitely didn’t want to hate her. He wished they could go back and do things over, but that was wishful thinking and Lane didn’t have a wishful bone in his body.
“At least I’m not the only one Nicolino kept in the dark.” Lane attempted a laugh but his heart wasn’t in it after everything Lucy had told him. “I’m willing to put the past behind us, not that it’s going to be easy. I’ll try my best, though. What do you say we start over?” Lane extended his hand as a peace offering.
Lucy nodded. Her face brightened again, sending a twinge of anticipation through his chest. The instant they touched, their fingers entwined, and not in your typical handshake. So much for starting over. The feel of her skin against his was better than in his memories. The heat from her palm seared into his. He knew she felt it, too, when she tightened her grip. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to kiss her the way he used to, but he couldn’t. Lane closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this with her—not now, not ever again.
“I’m sorry.” Releasing her, he flung open the door and strode into the safety of the corridor. “There’s always someone here, 24/7, and as barn manager, you are on call, too. Which reminds me, I need your phone number.”
“I don’t have one yet.” She spoke so quietly he barely heard her.
“We can rectify that right now. Follow me and we’ll get you set up with a company phone. Then that will be it for the day.”
Lane led the way up the stairs to the administrative offices, praying the torrent of emotions running through him wouldn’t get the best of him. He needed to remain professional and carefully plan his next move. He was torn between proving his worth to Nicolino and looking for another position. Lucy’s earlier questions and wide-eyed gaze at some of his answers reconfirmed she was unqualified for the practical aspects of the job.
Lucy clearly needed the money more than he did, but Lane was doubtful she’d be able to handle the workload. Book smarts weren’t everything. If he left and she failed, the position he’d worked so hard for would go to someone else. If he stayed around, then he’d have a chance at righting a wrong. But his attraction to Lucy was already proving too great for him to maintain a working relationship without losing his heart in the process. He wasn’t ready to walk away from either one...at least not yet.
