Читать книгу Special Deliveries: Wanted: A Daddy - Amanda Berry - Страница 18

‘I’LL COME OVER after work.’

Jed was coming out of X-Ray as Jasmine walked back from Theatre and they found themselves walking together towards Emergency.

‘It’s fine.’ Jasmine shook her head. ‘I’ll see you at the weekend. Ruby said that she could—’

‘But you’re upset tonight.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine by Saturday.’ She couldn’t keep the brittle edge from her voice. Yes, she was happy keeping things light, but sometimes, on days like today, it was hard.

‘I’m not expecting to be entertained,’ Jed said. ‘What happened back there?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Jasmine? Why did you get all upset over the safe? You know we can’t just drop everything—the guy was bleeding out.’

‘Just leave it.’

But Jed wouldn’t.

It was a very long shift. Vanessa was on a half-day and Jasmine really wished that she herself was—she could feel Jed watching her, especially much later when Lisa came over and asked her to check the cash.

‘Four thousand six hundred dollars. Agreed?’ Lisa checked.

‘Agreed,’ Jasmine said, and because Penny had first signed for it, she had to be there too.

‘I just rang ICU,’ Penny said. ‘He’s doing much better. His wife told me that he was on his way to put down a deposit on a car—that’s why he had so much cash on him.’ She added her signature to the valuables book.

‘Oh, the irony of it,’ Lisa sighed, because in a car his injuries would have been so much less. ‘Now, I know this is a lot of money and that it has to be checked,’ Lisa continued, ‘but it’s not always possible to just drop everything. It’s better to put it in the safe.’

‘That’s not what the protocol says,’ Jasmine pointed out, and Lisa pursed her lips. ‘It’s been six hours now.’

‘I didn’t know you were such a stickler for protocol and guidelines, Nurse,’ Penny smirked. ‘The irony of it!’

‘What was that about?’ Lisa grinned when Penny waltzed off.

‘I think that might have been Penny’s attempt at humour,’ Jed said, but she could feel his eyes on her, knew he was trying to talk to her, but as she had all day she did her best to avoid him.

Jasmine actually thought she had when she finally finished for the day and went to pick Simon up. But heading over to the crèche she found Jed at the vending machine outside.

‘I’ll come over later.’

‘You know I don’t want that. I don’t want to confuse Simon.’

‘We’re not going to make out on the sofa,’ Jed said. ‘And I’m not going to stay the night till you think he’s ready for that, but I do want to talk to you. You’re nearly in tears and I don’t get why. What happened at your old job?’ He could see the blush on her cheeks but she said nothing, instead walked past him to pick up Simon.

Simon was happy and scruffy after a day in the sandpit and Jasmine knew that it was time to face things, that she and Jed could not keep skirting around the edges.

Here in her hands was the living proof of an exceptionally difficult relationship, here was the baggage she carried, and yet it felt right in her arms.

She had to be able to talk about it with someone she trusted.

And she had to start trusting Jed.

He was still waiting for her when she headed outside.

‘About six?’

‘He’ll still be up.’

‘I don’t mind, or I can come over around nine if that’s what you’d prefer?’ She longed to let Jed closer but she just couldn’t take any chances with Simon.

‘About nine.’

Simon wasn’t at his sunniest and her mum dropped over too. It was just one of those disorganised evenings, not helped by a disorganised brain thanks to the day’s events. Jasmine had just got Simon down and was sorting out his bag for the next day when she heard a knock at the door and looked up to see that it was already a quarter past nine.

‘I wouldn’t have got here at six anyway,’ Jed said, following her through to the kitchen. ‘I only just got away. It’s still busy there.’

‘Who’s on?’

‘Rex!’ Jed rolled his eyes. ‘And Penny’s still hovering. I swear she never sleeps.’

‘Do you want something to eat?’

‘Are you going to cook for me?’ Jed grinned.

‘No,’ Jasmine said, ‘but if you’re nice I might defrost something.’

Actually, she did cook. Well, she made some pasta and defrosted some sauce and it was possibly their most normal night together. He ate a large bowl while Jasmine got things ready for the next day. Perhaps realising she wasn’t ready to talk yet, he chatted a bit more about himself, telling her a bit about his siblings and their families.

‘Don’t you miss them?’

‘A lot.’

‘So how come you moved down here?’

‘Just …’ Jed shrugged. He knew he had to tell her, but there would be time for all that later—he wasn’t here for himself tonight. He could see that she was still upset, see her hands shake a little as she folded some washing and then finally joined him.

‘You got upset in Resus today.’

‘I didn’t.’

‘Jasmine?’

‘I just get annoyed when people don’t check valuables properly,’ she attempted. ‘Everyone bangs on about how important it is and then if something goes missing …’

‘People are busy.’

‘I know that.’

‘I heard you speaking to that paramedic,’ Jed admitted, and he watched as she closed her eyes. ‘Jasmine, did something happen at your old job?’

‘No,’ she broke in. ‘Jed, please …’ And then she started to cry. ‘I found out that my husband was stealing from patients.’ It was so awful to say it, to admit to it. She’d made it so huge in her mind that she half expected him to stand up and walk out, but of course he didn’t. Instead, he took both her hands.

‘Come on.’ He was very kind and very firm but he wasn’t going to leave it. ‘Tell me what happened.’

‘I don’t know where to start,’ she said. ‘There was an unconscious patient apparently and there was a lot of money missing.’ She knew she wasn’t making much sense, so she just told him everything.

‘Lloyd,’ Jasmine said. ‘Simon’s father, he was a paramedic. We really got on, but then everyone did with Lloyd. He was very popular. We went out for about three months and—’ she couldn’t really look at that time properly ‘—I thought everything was fantastic at first,’ she admitted. ‘But I know now that it wasn’t because I was being lied to even then. I didn’t know but there had been a report put in about him.’

‘You can’t know if someone doesn’t tell you,’ Jed pointed out.

‘I know that, but it wasn’t just that he didn’t tell me.’ She took a deep breath, because if she was going to tell him some of it, then she had better tell him all. ‘Remember I told you that I can’t take the Pill?’ She blushed as she had the first time she’d told him. ‘Well, we were careless.’ She went really red then, not with embarrassment, more with anger. ‘Actually, no, we weren’t. I know it takes two, but I think he was the one who was careless.’

‘Jasmine.’ Jed was completely honest. ‘I nearly forgot our first time.’

‘I know,’ she admitted. ‘But even if you had, I’ve got a coil now, so it wouldn’t matter. It was more that I didn’t forget.’ She looked at Jed, she knew how they had lost it in bed together, but she never had till him. ‘I reminded him, I tried to stop him. I don’t know, I can’t prove that, but there was an accident, and I found I was pregnant and not sure I wanted to be. I was just so confused and yet he was delighted. He insisted we get married and and then we took three months off to see Australia. As he said, to have loads of fun before the baby. I had lots of annual leave saved up.’

She couldn’t even look at Jed as she went on. ‘What Lloyd hadn’t told me was that he was under investigation for stealing from a patient. It was all kept confidential so not even his colleagues knew, but another patient had come forward with a complaint and they’d placed Lloyd on three months’ paid suspension. We were swanning around Australia and I had no idea.’

‘When did he tell you?’

‘He didn’t,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘I went back to work. I was coming up for six months pregnant by then and he told me that he had another month off and then he started to talk about how, given I love my work, why didn’t we think about him staying home to look after the baby? Every word that man said to me was a lie.’ She could feel her anger rising as it did whenever she thought about him and wondered, as she often did, if he’d got her pregnant deliberately.

‘So how did you find out?’

‘The other paramedics were a bit cool with me,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘They’re a pretty honourable lot, they don’t take kindly to what Lloyd did and there was I, chatting with them like I used to, about our holiday, about things, and then one of my friends pulled me aside and said it might be better if I didn’t rub things in.’ She started to cry. ‘She said it was fine if I could accept what he’d done, but it was a bit much for them to hear about us having fun with his suspension pay. He’d been fired by then and I didn’t even know.’

‘Oh, Jasmine.’

‘He said that as his wife I should have supported him, but the fact is I wouldn’t have married him had I known.’ She looked at Jed. ‘I wouldn’t have. I’m not saying someone has to be perfect, I’m not saying you don’t stick together through bad times, but I didn’t even know that he was in the middle of bad times when we got married, when he made sure I was pregnant.’ She was really crying now. ‘I moved out and kept working right till the end of my pregnancy, but it was awful. I think my friends believed I had nothing to do with it, that I hadn’t had a clue …’

‘Of course they did.’

‘No.’ Jasmine shook her head. ‘Not all of them—there was loads of gossip. It was just awful at the time.

‘I see some of the paramedics now and we’re starting to be friendly again,’ she continued. ‘I think they really do understand now that I simply didn’t know. I’m just trying to get on with my life.’

‘Do you speak to him at all?’

‘Nothing,’ Jasmine said. ‘He came and saw Simon a couple of times when we were in the hospital, but there’s been nothing since then. He’s got a new girlfriend and so much for being a stay-home dad—he doesn’t even have a thing to do with his son. He’s working in the family business, they’re all supporting him, as families do, and making sure it looks like he earns a dollar a week, so I don’t get anything.’

‘You can fight that.’

‘I could, but I don’t want to,’ Jasmine said. ‘I don’t want any of his grubby money. I stayed close by for a year because, at the end of the day, I figured that he is Simon’s dad and I should make it as easy for him as possible to have access to his son. But when he wanted nothing to do with him …’ She was a little more honest than she’d expected to be. ‘I was embarrassed to go back to work too. He just completely upended my life.’

And Jed got that, he got that so much, how one person could just walk into your life and shatter it, could make a normal world suddenly crazy, and he could have told her then, but Jed knew that now wasn’t the time.

‘And I’m the one left holding the baby.’ She was the most honest she had been with another person. ‘And I know if it hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t have Simon and I love him more than anything so I can’t wish it had never happened, except sometimes I do.’

Of course she heard Simon crying then, just to ram home the guilt of her words.

‘I need to go and settle him.’

‘Sure.’

Simon didn’t want settling, Simon wanted a drink and a play and a conversation.

‘He’s not going to settle.’ She came back into the living room a good twenty minutes later.

‘Do you want me to leave?’

‘No,’ Jasmine said. ‘But I’m going to have to bring him in here.’

‘Are you sure?’ Jed checked.

‘It’s no big deal,’ Jasmine said.

Except they both knew that it was. Jed hadn’t seen Simon since that day on the beach when he’d helped get him into the water.

And Jed really didn’t want to leave her.

Simon was delighted with the late night visitor, chatting away to him for as long as he could till his eyes were heavy and Jasmine put him back to bed.

‘Cute,’ Jed said. ‘He looks like you—apart from the blond hair. Is his dad blond?’

‘No,’ Jasmine replied. Simon was a mini, male Penny.

‘Have you told Lisa what happened?’

Jasmine shook her head.

‘I think you might feel better if you did.’ He was very practical. ‘You did nothing wrong, but you know what rumours are like and it might be better to just tell Lisa up front what happened,’ Jed said. ‘And then you can stop worrying about it. If anyone does bring it up, Lisa will just blow them off.

‘And …’ he gave her a smile ‘… she might be a bit more understanding when patients land in the department with their life savings stuffed in a carrier bag.’

‘I think I might,’ Jasmine said. ‘Thanks.’ It was actually nice to have told someone and telling Lisa was a good idea.

‘I’d better go,’ Jed said. ‘It’s one thing having a friend over, but different me still being here in the morning. What are you on tomorrow?’

‘I’m on a late,’ Jasmine said. ‘Ruby’s picking Simon up from crèche.’

‘How’s that working out?’

‘Good,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘She’s really sensible and he seems to adore her. Simon’s usually in bed by about seven so she gets her homework done.

‘Stay if you like,’ Jasmine said, ‘I mean …’

‘I know what you mean.’ And he looked over at Jasmine and for the first time things were starting to get serious, and he didn’t feel hemmed in. In fact, he wanted more of this and was sure that Jasmine was someone he could open up to about his past. She just didn’t need it tonight. ‘Are you sure?’ Jed checked. ‘He might wake up again.’

‘He might.’ Jasmine looked up at him. ‘Look …’ She didn’t really know how to say it without sounding needy, but she had Simon to think of so she had to be brave. ‘I want to see more of you, Jed.’ His eyes never left her face. ‘I’m the same as you. I don’t want this to carry over to work, which means that if we are going to see more of each other … I’m not asking for for ever, but if you’re thinking this isn’t working out then say so now.’

‘I think it is working out.’

‘And I’d like to see you a bit more than a couple of hours once a week.’

‘Me, too.’

‘Stay, then,’ she said.

It was all a bit different having Simon in the house with them.

Like at midnight when they were kissing on the sofa, instead of things leading to wherever they might lead, she had to check on Simon, who was whimpering with his teeth. By the time she’d given him some medicine and rubbed some gel on his gums, Jed was sitting up in her bed, reading his horoscope in one of her trashy magazines.

Except he put it down as she started undressing.

‘Don’t,’ Jasmine said, because he had an unfair advantage, well, two actually. He was already in bed and also with a body like his there was no need to be embarrassed about stripping off in front of another person.

‘Why are you shy now?’

‘I don’t know.’ She actually wasn’t shy, she felt guilty for what she had said. ‘Thanks,’ she said as she slipped into bed. ‘For hearing me out and what I said about wishing it had never happened.’

‘I’d be the same,’ Jed said, shuddering at the thought of how much worse things might have been for him—and he closed his eyes for a moment, imagining the last couple of years with a baby added to the mix. And he turned and he almost told her, but he could see her eyes were still swollen from crying and it simply wouldn’t be fair to her.

‘Imagine if he hadn’t stolen the money,’ Jed said. ‘You could have spent your life married to a guy who was crap in bed.’

He saw the start of a smile.

‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Say it.’

‘No.’ Jasmine kicked him. ‘Anyway, you don’t know that he was.’

‘Please.’ Jed rolled his eyes.

‘So much for not getting involved with anyone from work.’ He looked down at her before he kissed her. ‘I think we should keep it separate, though,’ Jed said. ‘I really mean that.’

She was incredibly glad to hear it. ‘I’m the same.’

‘Things are a bit sensitive at the moment,’ he said.

‘With the promotion?’ It was an entirely innocent question, or at least she’d thought it was, but Jed stopped kissing her and frowned.

‘You’ve heard about that?’

‘Sorry.’ She tried to play for time.

‘How did you hear about that?’

She was glad for the lights being off for another reason now. Her face was on fire in the dark from her slip-up.

‘I don’t know,’ she attempted. ‘You know what that place is like, there’s always talk.’

‘I guess.’ He let out a long sigh. ‘Oh, well, if it’s out there’s nothing I can do about it. At least I know no one heard it from me.’

He forgot about it then but it took a while for Jasmine to.

He kissed her till she almost had, she kissed him back till she nearly did, but it was there at the back of her mind, just how complicated things were and he didn’t even know.

‘Are you all right?’ He lifted his head.

‘Just tense.’

She almost told him, she nearly did.

Except she’d promised her sister that she wouldn’t.

‘I can fix that.’

And he slid beneath the sheets and she lay there biting her lip, thrashing with her thoughts as his tongue urged her to give in.

He was incredibly patient.

Didn’t seem to mind a jot how long it took.

And she tried to relax to the probe of his tongue. To forget her problems, forget Penny and Lloyd and everything really except …

‘Jed?’

He didn’t answer.

‘Jed?’ She had to tell him, had to tell him now. ‘Things are complicated.’

‘Not from where I am,’ Jed said, lifting his head just a little. ‘You worry too much.’

Maybe she did, Jasmine realised, closing her eyes to the mastery of his mouth.

He gave her no room to think about it anyway. His hands lifted her buttocks so he could concentrate his efforts and he homed in, she pushed on his shoulders, because she should surely tell him, except he pushed back on the pressure she exerted and obliterated her thoughts with his tongue.

He was determined now, felt the shift in her, and it turned him on further. He loved feeling her unbend beneath him, loved the constant fight with her busy mind, and he would win this one and he felt her quiver as he worked on her most tender spot.

He felt her thighs start to tighten and the moans in her throat and he loved the wrestle within in her, loved how her hands moved from his shoulders and to his head, how her body begged him to continue while her mouth urged him to stop.

And then she gave in to him, shocked that he didn’t stop there, that when he should surely abate he worked harder, and she throbbed into him and still his mouth cursed her restraint. Still his tongue told her there was more, and there was.

He rose over her in the dark, his hand moved to the bedside and it was hers that stopped him, stopped a man who, very kindly, never forgot.

‘I told you,’ she said. ‘I’ve got the coil.’

And he smiled down at her as just once she said it. ‘And, yes, as I’ve since found out—he was crap in bed.’

There was nothing to complicate or confuse right now, just the bliss of him sliding inside her, and for Jed he had never been closer to another, just lost himself in her. It was more than sex and they both knew it—it was the most intimate either had ever been. He thrust into her as he wanted to and she tightened her legs around him. He could hear the purr in her throat and feel the scratch of her nails on his back and she knew that, however they denied it, this was fast becoming serious.

And yet there were secrets between them.

For Jed there were no secrets, or there soon wouldn’t be. He’d already made the decision to tell her, he just had to find the right time and tonight wasn’t it. He felt her tighten around him, loved the intimacy and feeling her without the barrier of a sheath, loved the sob into his shoulder and the sudden demand within her that gave Jed permission to let go, which he did, but not fully. He lifted up on his arms and felt every beat of pleasure that shot out of him, he felt every flicker of hers, except he held back on the words that seemed most fitting right now.

He lay there afterwards and he should have been glad he hadn’t said them. Neither of them were ready for love, but for Jed it was starting to feel like it.

And for Jasmine too, she felt as if they were on the edge of something, something that neither had seen, a place they had never intended to go. Except he was in bed beside her and it felt as if he should be, and she knew what to do now.

She wasn’t waiting for the interviews, and Penny would just have to deal with it if it confused things.

Tomorrow, or at the very next opportunity, she would tell Penny.

Then she could be completely honest with Jed.

Then, Jasmine decided, there would be no holding back.