Читать книгу The Bull Rider's Baby Bombshell - Amanda Renee - Страница 12
ОглавлениеJade never saw a person pale so fast. “Don’t you dare faint on me.”
“For God’s sake, I’ve never fainted a day in my life. A bull has knocked me unconscious a time or two in the rodeo ring, but I’ve never fainted.” Wes’s hazel eyes narrowed. “You’re the biological mother of those children?”
“Believe me, when I saw your name on the donor contract I was none too thrilled. It’s like the universe was playing some cruel joke on me.”
“On you?” Wes snapped. “You’re the last person I would have chosen.” His abhorrence for her darkened his features. Features she probably would’ve found attractive under normal circumstances.
“At least I provided a biological link. You, on the other hand—”
“Go on. Finish what you were going to say.” The muscles along his jawline pulsated.
“No, because regardless of our feelings toward each other, we created three beautiful lives. I will not insult them by insulting you.”
Wes tilted his hat back, revealing an errant lock of dark blond hair. He folded his arms across his chest, causing his formfitting gray T-shirt sleeve to ride up and expose the hint of a colorful tattoo on his biceps. Biceps that were much larger than she remembered from high school.
“As much as I want to argue with you, that’s a very mature attitude and one I should adopt myself.” Wes stepped away from the fence, giving her his full attention. “When I agreed to do this, I did so under one condition. Total anonymity.”
“I have no intention of saying anything.” Jade had wanted the same condition, but she and Liv had discussed the possibility of one day telling the children. Especially if a medical reason arose. That was most likely why she wanted the father to be somebody she knew. Just in case. “The truth may come out, regardless.”
“It can’t.” Wes’s eyes widened. “I had second thoughts shortly after I did it. First of all, I never wanted kids of my own. And second, my family would never forgive me for not being involved in their lives. Even though that’s what Liv wanted.”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that.” Jade wondered if her sister’s feelings for Wes ran deeper than she’d admitted. “Had you already planned to move away when she asked you to be the donor?”
“No. I mean, we discussed how unhappy I was living in Saddle Ridge for reasons I won’t get into right now. My bull riding schedule keeps me on the road a lot too, so she knew I wouldn’t be around much.”
“How did she react when you told her you were moving to Texas?”
Wes winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “I told her over the phone after I had already left. It was all of a two-minute conversation. One I purposely kept short because I couldn’t handle being involved in her pregnancy or the baby’s life. Then she called and told me she was having triplets.”
“You had to have been as shocked as I was.” The thought of Liv carrying and raising one of Jade’s children had been surreal enough. And even though she’d been fully aware they’d harvested three of her eggs, Jade never saw beyond one child. She’d automatically assumed it was a one-time deal. At the very least she’d expected her sister to have told her they’d used all three the day of the procedure.
“That’s an understatement. Look, I just came off a full week of competition and I’m only here for another week and a half before I head back to Texas. My family has two baby christenings this weekend and Dylan’s wedding is the next. And I’m competing midweek in South Dakota. I’ll help you in whatever way I can, but I’m not going anywhere near those babies. I can’t do it. Despite what you think Liv’s intentions may have been, she stressed I was to be a donor only. Nothing more. I can’t get emotionally involved.”
“I don’t know what to do. Maddie said Liv had been adamant about caring for the babies on her own, so she sent her home. Aside from some brief text messages over the last two weeks, I haven’t really spoken to her. Based on the little information I have, Liv may be suffering from postpartum depression.”
“Oh man.” Wes shoved his hands in his pockets. “That’s pretty serious.”
“I don’t think she’d harm herself, but Liv doesn’t do well with failure.” They’d grown up with failure in every way imaginable and they both worked hard to avoid it now. “I’m wondering if she recognized what was happening to her and removed herself from the girls to protect them. Possibly to get help.”
“Would she have had that much clarity?”
“She called Maddie and asked her to come over and babysit. And then there was the note she left telling Maddie to call me. When I checked her room, her luggage was missing. Her closet and quite a few drawers were partially empty leading me to assume she packed for a trip of some sort. She planned every step. It’s not erratic behavior. She’s either on a long vacation or she checked herself in somewhere.”
“What did the note say?” Jade withdrew the folded slip of paper from her bag and handed it to him. He read it, then turned it over as if expecting to find more. “This is all she wrote?”
Jade nodded. “That’s it.”
Wes scrubbed the day-old scruff on his chin. “This sounds permanent. I’ll talk to Harlan and see what he can find out.”
“Your brother? Why? What can he do?”
“He’s a deputy sheriff.”
“Then keep him out of it.” Jade snatched the note back from him, suddenly wishing she hadn’t come to see Wes. “The police and social workers always believe they’re doing what’s best for the children when they don’t see or understand the whole picture. I’ll handle this.”
He stared at her as if she had two heads. “Look, I don’t like the idea of involving my brother, either, but you can’t do it alone. Triplets are hard enough for a conventional family, let alone a single parent. Your sister’s a prime example of that. Do you have help at the house?”
“Maddie said she’d be willing to stay for however long I need her.”
“Unless Maddie quit her job since I left in January, she works full-time.”
“Are you offering your help?”
“As in physically be there with you?” Wes held up his hands and stepped back. “Oh no. I don’t want to see them and please don’t force them on me.”
“I would never force a child on anyone. They deserve better than that. I only came here because I thought you might have an idea where she went. My mistake.”
Jade trudged back to her car, almost twisting her ankle in the process. What the hell had possessed her to wear high heels to a ranch? Stupidity along with vanity. She’d wanted to show Wes that despite the horrible rumors he’d spread about her in school, she had made something of herself. Eleven years later and she was still letting his opinion matter.
* * *
FOR A SMALL TOWN, the drive back to Liv’s house felt like an eternity. Except for a handful of neighbors, her sister lived fairly isolated on the outskirts of Saddle Ridge. Maddie greeted her at the door, tense in anticipation of good news.
“How are the girls?”
“Still asleep. I expect them up soon. Once one’s awake, the rest follow. Did you hear anything?”
“No.” Jade slipped off her shoes and kicked them aside. “I ran into a friend of hers, though. Wes Slade.”
“He must be home for the wedding and christenings.”
“You know about them?”
“They only invited the entire town.”
Of course, they had. There was nothing like living in a small town. “So, they were good friends?”
“Until he moved to Texas. His leaving really upset Liv since he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye. He’s a hottie and a half, but the two of them never hooked up. Probably because he was hooking up with everyone else in the county.” Maddie’s face turned pink. “Present company excluded.”
Jade was all too familiar with Wes’s libido.
“My sister never mentioned him. When did they become friends?”
“I’m not really sure since I didn’t live here then, but based on different things she’s said, I’ve always assumed it was around the time Wes’s father was killed.”
“I remember Liv mentioning that, but I didn’t realize they knew each other that well.” Jade had never discussed Wes or the rumors he had started. The rumors that led to one of his friends assaulting her. Liv had had enough going on between school and working whenever she could to save for college. Regardless, Liv had to have heard the rumors from her friends. Saddle Ridge was too small of a town not to. Was that why she kept her friendship with Wes from her? Or had Wes said something?
“I tried calling Liv again, and it went straight to voice mail. I left a message telling her you were here and that the girls were fine.”
“Nothing about them missing her?” Jade asked.
“I—I don’t remember exactly what I said. Should I have?”
Jade dropped her bag on the antique hall table in the foyer. “If she’s suffering from some form of postpartum depression I’d like to believe hearing the children miss her would prove how much they need her. That’s just speculation on my part.” She wondered if her sister would interpret their being fine as confirmation she’d done the right thing. But Maddie blamed herself enough already. Jade didn’t need to add to it. “Why don’t you head home, take a shower and relax for the night. I appreciate you going above and beyond like you have.”
“Are you sure?” Maddie gnawed on her bottom lip. “I realize you were here when the girls were born, but do you know how to take care of an infant? Let alone three?”
“I’m sure I can handle feeding them, changing a few diapers and putting them to bed.” Jade’s hands flew to her chest. “Oh my God! Liv was breast-feeding.”
Maddie shook her head. “No, it didn’t work out. She wasn’t producing enough milk and was unbelievably sore. They started on formula pretty early.”
Jade had headed back to LA eight days after the girls were released from the hospital. “She never told me.”
“She probably wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t been staying here. It really upset her.”
“I bet.” Jade imagined her sister thought not being able to breast-feed as the ultimate failure.
“Have you ever mixed formula before?”
“Can’t say that I have.” Jade sighed.
“Come on.” Maddie motioned for her to follow. “There’s kind of a formula to making formula and it all starts with boiling water.”
By the time Maddie walked her through the steps, Jade understood why women opted to breast-feed. Even though the can came with directions, she took detailed notes, not wanting to risk a mistake.
“Just remember to toss out any mixed formula after twenty-four hours. You can make a large batch of it, but it’s not like milk. You can’t keep a gallon in the fridge for a week. If any of them don’t finish their bottle, toss it because their saliva can contaminate the formula.”
“Got it. I’m assuming this is the bottle sterilizer?” Jade pointed to a large dome-shaped appliance sitting on the counter.
“Yes. You can also run their pacifiers through there. But—” Maddie opened the cabinet next to the sink and removed three bottomless bottles and a box “—it’s more convenient to use these with the liners. That way the nipples are the only thing you’ll need to clean. Just toss the liners in the trash.”
After a crash course in infant feeding, Maddie left for the night. Jade peeked in at the girls before heading to the guest room to change. She stood in the doorway as she’d done earlier, almost afraid to get any closer to the children who were biologically hers. She still had a tough time wrapping her brain around it. If she intended to take care of them until Liv returned, she needed to remember Liv was their real mother, not her.
She tiptoed across the room to their cribs, choking back tears. They were beautiful, and she’d help create them. The inexplicable desire to hold them overwhelmed her. She wanted to tell them how much she loved them and that she’d never abandon them. How bad had things gotten for her sister to walk away from her children?
She reached over the side of the crib and lightly ran her hand over one of their matching white-and-pink cotton bunny onesies. Matching! How would she tell the girls apart? They were fraternal triplets, but they looked alike to her. Especially at this age. Liv and Maddie could tell them apart, but Jade hadn’t spent enough time around them yet. If it wasn’t for the large A, H and M stenciled on the wall above their respective cribs she wouldn’t have known who was Audra, Hadley or Mackenzie.
“What if I mix them up?”
Hadley stirred at the sound of her voice but didn’t wake up. Jade scanned the room. She needed something to distinguish them from each other. Nail polish came to mind, but she feared they’d chew it off. She ran back downstairs to Liv’s office and dug a black permanent marker out of the drawer. She’d have to write their first initial on the sole of their foot until she researched a better solution online. Maybe the pediatrician could offer a suggestion. She had to call there anyway to find out when the babies’ next appointment was. First, she had to fabricate a plausible excuse as to why she was calling and not her sister. She didn’t want to arouse suspicion about Liv.
One triplet began to cry as she reached the top step. She ran into the room, pulled off the marker cap with her teeth and wrote a large H on the bottom of Hadley’s foot when the odor of a full diaper smacked her square in the jaw.
“Good heavens. For a tiny little thing, that is one big stink.” Jade lifted Hadley into her arms as Audra began crying. Within seconds, the room was full of shrieks and smelly diapers. She couldn’t pacify or change the girls fast enough. She wasn’t even sure how to get them downstairs to feed them. Maddie would. Jade went to pull her phone from her pocket before remembering she left it in her bag. “Okay, I guess we’re going down one at a time.”
Mackenzie started crying louder than the other two before she reached the hallway. “What is it, sweetheart?” She cradled her against her chest, afraid to put her down. “You have a clean diaper and I will feed you in a few minutes.” Mackenzie’s tear streaked face turned red while her tiny arms flailed in the air. Jade adjusted the baby’s position and sat in the rocking chair. “Shh, I’ve got you. I know you miss your mommy, but I’m here.”
Mackenzie’s cries continued along with her two sisters and Jade wondered if Liv had postpartum depression or if she’d needed a sanity break. She easily saw how this could try even a saint’s patience after a while. Jade couldn’t do this alone. She needed help.
* * *
WES SAT IN LIV’S driveway for ten minutes before he got the nerve to walk up the porch stairs and knock on the door. Once he did, he heard a baby cry from inside. He hadn’t even considered he might wake them up. He hadn’t considered much on the drive over except that he hadn’t given Jade his phone number and he didn’t have hers. His concern for Liv was worth the risk of seeing the girls.
Wes’s heart pounded in his chest as a cold sweat formed across his brow. His biological daughters were inside that house. It was the closest he’d ever been to them and all he wanted to do was run. Why hadn’t he called Liv’s house and left a message on the answering machine if Jade didn’t answer? Because he hadn’t thought this through. The reality he’d created three children with the bully responsible for the beatings he’d received in the high school locker room struck him harder than a runaway Mack truck.
“Maddie, I need you!”
A chill ran down Wes’s spine at the sound of Jade’s desperate plea. He grabbed the knob and flung the door open, causing it to bang against the interior wall. “Jade!” He ran toward the baby cries, uncertain what he might find. He stuck his head in the numerous rooms that branched off the center hall of the old farmhouse. “Jade, where are you?” he asked as he reached the kitchen, only to find Jade, barefoot and disheveled holding one screaming infant in her arms while the other two wailed from bouncy chairs perched on top of the table.
His heart stopped beating at the sight of them. His daughters. His. They had his DNA, his genes, his—Wes grabbed the doorjamb.
“Thank God you’re here.” She took a step toward him.
He shook his head, trying not to break eye contact with her for fear he’d look into the eyes of one of his daughters. “Why are they crying?”
“Wes, meet Audra.” She held the infant out to him. “Please help me.”
His arms rose automatically to take her without hesitation as his body betrayed his will. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the life he’d helped create. The weight of Audra in his arms made her all that more real. Her cries stopped as a soft mew emanated from the tiny bundle. He didn’t want to look. But he couldn’t not look. He needed to see his daughter.
“Oh my God.” His heart sprang back to life.
“What is it?” Jade frantically asked.
“She’s beautiful,” he whispered.
“They all are. We made quite the heartbreakers.”
He lifted his gaze to hers. The edginess had faded to a gentle softness. Even with her stained blouse and what appeared to be a black marker streak across her left cheek, she exuded beauty. “I guess we did.” He lowered his eyes to the other two girls contentedly sucking on the bottles Jade held for them. And then he saw more black marker. “Did you write on their feet?”
“I had to. I couldn’t tell them apart. They’re not identical, but they sure look that way to me.”
Wes cautiously stepped forward as if walking on ice. He’d held a baby before. He’d been around plenty of children in his twenty-nine years. Somehow, these three seemed more fragile than any of the others combined.
“The nose on that one is a little more upturned.” Wes glanced at the infant’s foot. “What does the M stand for?”
“Liv never told you their names?”
“She sent me a birth announcement, or what I assumed was one. I never opened it.”
“Wow, you really haven’t spoken to her in months because she chose those names in January.”
“I stopped taking her calls when she told me she was having triplets.” He reached for the third bottle sitting on the table and held it up. “May I?”
“Be my guest. She refused to eat for me.”
Wes sat in the chair across from her and held the bottle to Audra’s tiny lips. She hesitated for a second before eagerly drawing on the nipple. Her eyes reminded him of Jade’s...big, blue and the color of the Montana sky on a bright summer day. He wished somebody would pinch him because feeding his daughter was the most surreal experience of his life.
“I hate that I didn’t call. It bothered me then, but it bothers me more now. I can’t help wondering if my abandonment contributed to her leaving.”
“I won’t criticize you for walking away because if Liv and I weren’t sisters, I may have done the same thing.”
Jade’s candor surprised him. “So, you still haven’t told me what the M stands for.”
“Mackenzie and the other is Hadley.”
“Audra, Mackenzie and Hadley.” His cheeks hurt from smiling. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m—” He wasn’t sure how to introduce himself.
“You’re a friend of their mother. That’s all we can ever be.”
Ten minutes ago, Wes didn’t even want to be a friend to anyone connected to the children, now it hardly seemed enough.
“How is this supposed to work? You can’t even feed the three of them on your own.”
“That’s not fair.” Jade held a bottle up to the light to see how much formula remained in the liner. “This was my first try. Although I’m not sure what my sister was thinking when she told Maddie to call me. I’m not exactly mother material. My job’s super demanding and consumes most of my time.”
“What do you do?”
“I own a high-end event management company in Los Angeles. You could say I’m a party planner to the stars. I’m surprised my sister didn’t tell you.”
He would never have guessed she’d chosen that career path. He figured she would have chosen... Wes stared at her, not recognizing the woman she was today. He’d never given much thought to what she did after high school. Once she’d moved away, he had been thrilled to have her out of his life. Even though her cruelty still stuck with him.
“Your sister rarely mentioned you.”
Jade recoiled at his comment. “Well, that’s nice. At least you didn’t tell her how much you hated me.”
Just as much as you hated me. “I met your sister the day of my father’s funeral. We were both at the Iron Horse, saddled up to the bar. She recognized me and offered her condolences. At the time, I was too lost in my grief to realize who she was. That was the night she and her husband called it quits. She was hurting and I couldn’t see past my anger over my father’s death.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you two found comfort in each other.”
Wes nodded. “That old saying about misery loving company is true. We were two lonely souls drowning our sorrows. The next day I didn’t even remember her name, but we kept meeting there night after night and as time went on, we met less at the bar and more in a booth with coffee and a bite to eat. It was only then I realized she was your sister. I couldn’t have gotten through those days without her.”
“I tried talking her into moving out to LA when Kevin left. She refused to leave this place. We’d bounced around so much in foster care that once she had this house, hell would freeze over before she left it.”
“She didn’t really discuss where you two had lived while growing up, but I got a real sense that home meant everything to her.” Liv had sidestepped most references to her childhood, and he’d assumed she’d wanted to keep that door closed forever. He understood where she’d been coming from and never pressed further. “Our friendship started out consoling each other over what we’d lost. My father and her husband. Once we got that out of our systems, our conversations shifted to the future and what we wanted out of life. She talked a lot about wanting a family of her own.”
“Liv’s not one to dwell in the past.” Jade sat both bottles on the table and lifted Mackenzie into her arms.
“No, she’s not.” Wes waited for Jade to grab a burp towel, but she didn’t. “You need to hold her a little more upright and against your shoulder. And you should have something to protect your shirt because she will spit up.” He stood, still cradling Audra in one arm while he opened and closed drawers until he found what he was looking for. He draped a towel over Jade’s shoulder, noticing the softness of her hair against his hand as he did so. “Watch me.” Audra had finished her bottle. He set it on the counter and shifted her in his arms. “Hold her like this and lightly pat her back.”
“How did you get so good at this?” Jade mirrored him.
“I’ve had practice. More than a man who never wants kids should.” Wes had seen enough dysfunction in his own family to kill any desire he’d ever had of settling down. His father’s death had fractured the final fragments that had held the Slades together. Getting tossed off a bull hurt a lot less than losing someone you love. Three of his four siblings had maintained a close relationship to each other, but their mom had taken off for sunny California. Much like Jade had. Nevertheless, he’d learned to keep an emotional distance ever since. “Any more thoughts where your sister might be?”
“Tomorrow I’ll call every postpartum depression treatment center I can find, including over the border in Canada just to be on the safe side. She’s an adult, so I’m not sure if anyone can legally tell me if she’s there, but I at least have to try.”
“Well, the reason I came here tonight was to give you my phone number and to get yours.”
“You could’ve called the house and given it to me seeing as you didn’t want to meet the girls.”
“That dawned on me while I was knocking on the front door.” Wes sniffed the top of Audra’s head. She smelled like new car smell for humans. “From the looks and sounds of things, it’s a good thing I did. Where’s Maddie?”
“I sent her home. She’d been here for over twenty-four hours. The woman hadn’t even had a shower or change of clothes.”
“It looks like you could use the same.”
“Thanks a lot.” Jade attempted to smooth the front of her shirt.
Wes laughed as he settled Audra into the empty bouncy seat and lifted Hadley into his arms. “I didn’t mean that to sound as insulting as it did. It was a poorly worded offer to watch the girls while you take a few moments for yourself.”
“Are you sure?”
“Considering I made a commitment to help bring these three into the world, I think I can commit to babysitting while you shower.”
“Thank you.”
“But...this is a onetime deal, Jade.” He didn’t want to delude her into thinking he’d changed his mind about being involved in their lives. “I’m here now, but once I walk out that door, I’m not coming back.”
He couldn’t—wouldn’t—risk his heart. It was already on the verge of shattering into a thousand pieces.
