Читать книгу Just Past Midnight - Amanda Stevens - Страница 11

DARIAN DREAMED about Michael that night. It was the same scene she’d replayed in her sleep for the past seven years, ever since Michael died so suddenly and so tragically…exactly the way Paul Ryann died before him.

In her vision, she was still Dani. She and Michael were walking across a snowy landscape, arms linked, frosty breaths mingling on the cold air. All around them, icicles dripped like diamonds from the treetops, while in the distance, sunlight danced across a frozen pond.

The campus was still and almost preternaturally quiet. The two of them might have been alone in the world, captured, for all eternity, inside a snow globe.

It was as if she had no past and no future here, Dani thought. The only thing that mattered was the present. She didn’t have to think about anything else. She didn’t have to remember the fire at Belmont House or that beseeching figure in the window. And later, those awful, awful screams.

She didn’t have to remember the suspicions, the loneliness, and the utter sense of helplessness she’d felt after her father’s accident.

Most of all, she didn’t have to remember that voice on the phone….

“I did it for you, Dani.”

But even in her dream world, she couldn’t escape those memories. They came flooding back, and Dani turned away, no longer able to meet Michael’s gaze. He wouldn’t have it. He put his hand beneath her chin and tenderly turned her face back to his.

It was his gentleness that always got to Dani. She knew she shouldn’t allow herself to feel anything for him—for anyone. But she couldn’t help it. He was so sweet and so handsome and so very persistent. In some ways, he reminded her of Paul. They had the same haunted eyes. The same melancholy smile.

A premonition crawled up her spine, and she shivered.

“What is it?” Michael asked her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“That look in your eyes…where do you go when you drift off like that?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. Sometimes you seem like you’re a million miles away. In a place where I can’t reach you. What happened to you, Dani? Why is it the moment we start getting close, I can feel you pushing me away?”

“You know I don’t like to talk about my past,” she murmured, and tried to turn away again.

But Michael held on to her. Held her as if he would never let her go. “I know you don’t. I’m not a big fan of strolling down memory lane, either. My relationship with my brother…you know it’s a mess.” He sighed and glanced away, battling his own demons.

Dani sometimes wondered about his estrangement from his brother, but she never asked. To query him about his past would be to invite questions about her own. And she’d promised herself the day she left Allentown that she wouldn’t look back.

But that was easier said than done. Four years and nearly two thousand miles wasn’t enough time or distance to ease her pain. Paul’s death haunted her still, and she knew that it always would.

She also knew there were those back home who still believed her guilty of setting that fire. Officer Canton was one of them. She even sometimes had the crazy notion that he might have followed her to Connecticut. She’d caught glimpses of someone who looked very much like him, but she knew those sightings were probably nothing more than her paranoia at work.

And her father…that was the heaviest cross of all to bear. He’d fallen out of the barn loft that day, impaling himself on a pitchfork. It was a miracle he’d survived. After Dani and her mother had rushed him to the emergency room, a team of doctors and nurses had worked on him for what seemed like hours. When they finally managed to stop the bleeding and get him stabilized, Dani had tried to tell her mother about the letters and the phone call.

Rena Williams had turned deathly pale and, clutching Dani’s hand, had made her promise that she wouldn’t tell anyone else about her secret admirer, especially the police. Going to the authorities might put them in more danger. Look what had happened to her father.

Dani had been so fearful for her mother’s fragile health that she’d finally agreed to keep silent. She didn’t go to the police, but the promise her mother extracted from her took a toll on their relationship. They were no longer able to meet one another’s eyes, and it seemed to Dani that her mother blamed her for their terrible secret.

“At least you’ve made up with your brother,” Michael said with another sigh.

“Sort of,” Dani agreed. She supposed that was the one good thing to come of all that had happened to her in the past four years. Until a few weeks ago, she hadn’t heard from Nathan since he’d left home right after the fire. He hadn’t even called after their father’s accident. Then recently, he’d turned up at Drury. She’d come out of class one day, and there he’d stood, looking so different from the last time she’d seen him that she almost hadn’t recognized him.

He’d cut his hair, and the jeans and jacket he’d had on were clean and respectable. With something of a shock, Dani realized that somewhere along the way, her brother had grown up. He was no longer a boy, but a man. He’d just turned twenty-three, but the tentative smile he gave her reminded her of the day her parents had brought him into their home, an uneasy nine-year-old who’d wanted nothing more than to belong.

It would have been so easy to respond to that smile. To reach out to him. Lean on him as she once would have done. But there’d been something in his eyes that day—a lingering darkness that made Dani wonder where he’d been and what he’d done. And why he’d come back into her life.

In her dream, Michael was still holding on to her. “I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“You were willing to give your brother a second chance, so I’ve decided to do the same. I’m going home this weekend. I don’t expect anything to come of it, but who knows?” His expression turned bleak. “R.J. can be a real bastard when he wants to be. The only thing he cares about is making money, and he doesn’t understand why I don’t feel the same way. But…he’s the only family I’ve got. For now,” he added cryptically.

Dani put a hand to his cheek. “Michael, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.”

He gave a short laugh. “Let’s not celebrate yet, okay? I’m not expecting miracles.”

“But at least you’re making the effort.”

“Right. I’m making the effort.” He drew a breath. “I hate leaving you, though. I want you to come with me, but I’m not sure that would be such a good idea—”

She pressed a fingertip to his lips. “Don’t worry about me. You should do this alone. You need time to work out things with your brother, and besides, I plan to spend the whole weekend studying. Midterms are coming up in a couple of weeks.”

“And you’ve got an A in every class. Why do you do this? Why do you put such pressure on yourself?”

His criticism rankled. “Because I’m not rich like you. I don’t have a trust fund to fall back on. If I don’t keep up my grades, I’ll lose my scholarship.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, you don’t have to worry about money? I’ll take care of you.”

She drew away from him. “I’d never ask you for money.”

“You wouldn’t have to ask. I want to take care of you.” He pulled her back into his arms. “Don’t you understand?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m in love with you. I want to marry you.”

“Please don’t say that,” she begged.

“I have to. I want you to know how I feel.” His gaze deepened. “I know you don’t feel the same about me. Not yet. But you feel something. I can see it in your eyes. And I think you could love me, too, if you’d let yourself.”

“I’m not ready for anything serious,” Dani said almost desperately. “I have to concentrate on my grades, finish school—”

“I know, I know. The last thing I want to do is put more pressure on you. But, Dani, do you have any idea how much I want you?” His arms tightened around her. “Sometimes I think I’m going to die if we don’t—” He kissed her then, not roughly or hungrily, but gently. Persuasively.

And it would have been so easy to let herself be persuaded. She loved Michael, too. She did. But something held her back. Something made her pull away even as she wanted to cling to him.

He rested his forehead against hers. “It’s okay. I won’t rush you. We’ll talk when I get back on Sunday.”

He walked away from her then, his shoulders hunched against the cold, a solitary figure trudging through the snow. And as Dani stood watching him, that dark premonition slithered back into her soul.

Someone was watching her.

The dream shifted then, and she was huddled with her roommate in the icy cold dawn, watching in horror as firemen pulled students from the smoldering dorm.

Her secret admirer was there, too. She could feel his cold breath on her neck as he whispered in her ear, “I did it for you, Dani.”

DARIAN AWAKENED from the dream as she always did, frightened, trembling, her heart pounding so hard against her chest that she grew dizzy. The images were so vivid in her mind that she could almost believe she was back on that snowy campus instead of safe and sound inside her Houston town house.

She lay staring at the ceiling, weak and exhausted, as the memories came rushing back. She put a hand across her eyes, but that never stopped them. Might as well let them come.

Rolling over, she glanced at the bedside clock. Just after midnight. Hours still until she had to get up.

Sighing, she let her mind drift back to the aftermath of the fire. It hadn’t been until much later the following morning that she’d learned Michael hadn’t gone away after all, and that the fire might even have started in his room.

The implication had almost shattered her, but the final, devastating blow had come later, when she’d received word of her inheritance. That same day, she’d gotten another letter, written in what looked to be her own handwriting: I did it for you, Dani.

The precise script matched hers exactly—just as it had in the letter she’d received after Paul Ryann’s death—that Dani had even toyed with the terrifying notion she might be suffering from a split personality. Was it possible she’d sent herself those notes? Was it possible she’d set those fires, hurt her own father…and couldn’t remember?

“YOUR DOUBTS ARE NATURAL, Dani. You feel guilty for the deaths of your friends, and you’re looking for answers. But you’re not responsible for what happened,” Dr. Gaines had said when she’d returned to Allentown after Michael’s death.

Dani stared across the desk at him. “If I’m not responsible, then who is? Why is this happening? Why did Michael and Paul have to die just because…they loved me?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” he said softly.

Because some psycho, someone that Dani might not even know, wanted her. Wanted to have her under his complete control. The notion was more than terrifying. It was monstrous.

“I’m more convinced than ever that what we’re dealing with here is a form of erotomania,” Dr. Gaines said grimly. “Your secret admirer is laboring under a false belief that you and he are in love, that the two of you belong together. That conviction keeps him tied to you, Dani. So tied, in fact, that he followed you all the way to Connecticut. I suspect he would be willing to follow you anywhere.”

Dani shuddered at the implication.

“You see, without the object of his obsession, an erotomanic feels as if a part of himself is missing. That’s why his delusions are so tenacious. Without his object—without you—he’s nothing.”

Dani wanted to put her hands over her ears and block the whole bizarre conversation, but she couldn’t do that. She had to face the reality of what was happening to her. Her family’s safety depended on it. “Why me? What did I do?”

Dr. Gaines made a helpless gesture with his hand. “It could have been something as simple as a smile or a kind word that captured his fascination. In all likelihood, he’s someone who has had little or no real contact with you, but he’s so deluded that he actually believes he’s having a relationship with you.”

“So he had to kill Paul and Michael?” Dani cried in horror. “He had to hurt my father?”

“He felt threatened by them. Erotomanic stalkers can be very vindictive. They believe their victims love them, and they can become violent when they perceive obstacles that are keeping them from that love.”

Dani closed her eyes. “Then why aren’t the police looking for him? Why do they think I’m the one who did something wrong?”

“Because most police departments, particularly those in small towns, still don’t know how to deal with stalkers. Until recently, stalking wasn’t even a crime in most states. Your case is particularly complex because your secret admirer isn’t just delusional and violent, he’s also extremely cunning. He planned those murders very carefully. He even taught himself to mimic your handwriting so precisely that if you took those letters to the police, they could only conclude that you’d written them yourself. And in each case, he made sure that you were the one who had the most to gain from the victim’s death. He made sure that you had both motive and opportunity. There wasn’t enough evidence to arrest or convict you, but certainly enough to cast doubt upon your character, and therefore, your credibility. It’s another way he has of gaining power over you. Not only has he isolated you from your family and your community and even from future relationships, but by planting your necklace near that fuel tank, he’s also proven how easy it would be to frame you. In essence, he now has total control over your life.”

“What can I do to stop him?” Dani asked desperately.

“The truth?” Dr. Gaines glanced away. “Nothing. There’s nothing you can do to stop him.”

LYING IN HER DARKENED BEDROOM, Darian felt the old panic well inside her again, but she shoved it away, reminding herself she was safe here. She’d regained control of her life. She had a new name, a carefully chosen identity. Only one person in the whole world knew how to find her, and he would never tell. He would never betray her because he was the one who had saved her. Yes, she was finally safe. Her family was safe. She didn’t just have a new name, she had a new career, a whole new life. The inheritance from Michael had allowed her to start over, and she’d used it to buy herself security.

When she’d first moved to Houston, she’d selected her town house because the complex was ensconced behind eight-foot walls, and both cameras and guards monitored the electronic security gate around the clock. No one could get in without proper authorization.

Darian had chosen her particular home because it was wedged between two other units, and she liked knowing who was on either side of her. And for the past five years, she’d had the same neighbors—to the right, the Lindermanns, a young, professional couple, and to her left, Mr. Delgado, a retired oil executive.

Darian hadn’t gotten to know the Lindermanns or Mr. Delgado well, but she’d been comforted by their presence. Then, a few weeks ago, Mr. Delgado had decided to move to Phoenix to be near his daughter. He’d left abruptly, and now his empty town house made Darian uneasy.

Slipping out of bed, she stole across the room and eased into the hallway to check the upstairs control panel on her security system—just as she had countless times on countless sleepless nights.

Reassured that it was set and working, she returned to the bedroom and walked over to the window to glance out, reminding herself that this was one of the safest areas of the city.

But as Darian drew back the curtain, she gasped. A man stood across the street, smoking underneath a streetlight.

What was he doing out there? she wondered in panic. It was a little late for someone to be out for a stroll or even to be walking a dog.

As Darian watched, the man lifted his cigarette, took a long drag, then threw the butt to the pavement and ground it beneath his foot. There was something familiar about that action. Something…symbolic…

She put a hand to her mouth. Did she know him? Had she seen him do that before?

He tilted his head slightly, as if staring up at her window, and Darian jerked away, letting the curtain fall back into place.

Thoroughly unnerved now, she wondered if she should call the front gate and alert the guard of the man’s presence. But…he wasn’t doing anything illegal, and besides, he had to be a resident of the community or he would never have been allowed inside the gate.

She had nothing to worry about. Nothing to be afraid of. Not even her own family knew where she was. She was perfectly safe here.

Still, Darian had an almost overwhelming need to connect with someone who could reassure her. Someone who wouldn’t ask a lot of questions.

Opening her nightstand drawer, she removed the disposable phone she’d purchased several days ago. The throw-away wasn’t as anonymous as using a calling card at a pay phone, but it was a lot more difficult to trace than a landline or a regular cell phone.

Punching in her brother’s phone number, she waited through several rings before he finally picked up. It was the dead of night, but he sounded wide awake when he answered.

“It’s me,” Darian said softly.

“Dani?”

“Don’t call me that.”

She heard a muffled voice, then a second later, a door closed in the background. Evidently her brother wasn’t alone.

As if to confirm her poor timing, Nathan said impatiently, “What the hell am I supposed to call you? You won’t tell me your new name or where you live. I can’t even get in touch with you if there’s an emergency. I’m at the mercy of your calls, which are damn few.”

Darian sighed. “We’ve been through this, Nathan. You know why I can’t tell you where I am.”

“Because you think my phone could be bugged or the call could somehow be traced. That’s why I gave you my cell phone number.”

“Cell phones can be monitored.”

“Do you know how paranoid that sounds?”

“Of course I do. And do you have any idea how nightmarish it is to know that two people died because they loved me? Because—”

“Someone else wants you,” Nathan finished. “So badly he’ll kill to make sure no one else has you.”

Darian was still trembling from the dream. She slid out of bed and walked back over to the window. Parting the curtain, she peered out. The man was gone.

“Are you still there?” Her brother’s voice sounded so strong he might have been in the next room.

“Yes, I’m here.”

“So why did you call, Dani?” He said her name almost defiantly.

She closed her eyes. Her brother’s lingering resentment was still something she didn’t understand. “I’m…lonely, I guess.”

“Then come home.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. Come home and we’ll go to the police together. We’ll make them listen.”

“It wouldn’t do any good,” Darian said. “I tried that before, remember? They didn’t believe me when Paul died, and they won’t believe me now. He’s seen to that.”

Nathan’s voice hardened. “Has it ever occurred to you that your little disappearing act only makes you look guiltier? Maybe that was part of his plan, too.”

Darian closed her eyes briefly. “It doesn’t matter. He can’t find me here. And as long as I’m out of the picture, Mother and Dad are safe. And so are you.”

Nathan said nothing for a moment, and in the ensuing silence, Darian heard another door open and close somewhere in his house. Then a whisper. Someone had come back into the room with him. Someone who was trying very hard not to make her presence known.

“I’ve interrupted something,” she murmured. “I should let you go.”

“No, no, I was up. I do my best work after midnight.”

Darian climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. “So how was the latest exhibit?”

“Not bad. I sold four paintings, and the gallery has commissioned a dozen more.”

“Nathan, that’s wonderful.” Darian was still astonished by the way her brother had turned his life around. The troubled young man who’d dropped out of college at nineteen, who’d refused back then to even consider his future, was on the verge of becoming a phenomenon in the art world. Dani had even read a write-up about him in Art in America.

She had to admit that at times she envied him. She’d once wanted to be a journalist more than anything in the world, but she’d had to give up that dream when she disappeared. Dr. Gaines had advised her that the first thing her stalker would look for was her professional affiliations.

“I’d offer to send you a painting, but you’d have to give me your address. And you can’t do that, can you?”

“No.” Darian didn’t mention the fact that she’d already acquired one of Nathan’s paintings. She’d bought it from a local gallery, but she couldn’t tell him because that knowledge might give him a clue to her location.

Sometimes all the deception and subterfuge got to her, but she always tried to keep in mind that her isolation wasn’t just for her own protection, but for her family’s, as well.

“I’m sorry, Nathan.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I understand.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, of course, but it’s still hard. Especially on Mother.” He sighed. “I drove out to see her the other day.”

“How is she?”

“The anxiety attacks are getting worse. She can’t leave the house at all these days. Or won’t. She doesn’t even keep her appointments with Dr. Gaines anymore.”

Her father and brother were confused and frustrated by her mother’s agoraphobia, but Darian understood it. Sometimes she wished she had the luxury of remaining behind the same four walls. It was a scary world out there. No one knew that better than she.

“And Dad? How’s he doing?”

Nathan gave a harsh laugh. “You know Dad. He makes a point of keeping himself busy when I come around.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” Nathan sounded almost angry with her. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. I hope you know that.”

“I do.” But sometimes Darian still wondered what she had done to bring all this on her family? Had she smiled at the wrong person? Led someone on?

Dr. Gaines had made it clear from the start that her stalker could be someone she didn’t even know. Or someone with whom she’d had only the briefest of contact. Someone who’d seen her in the store one day perhaps. Or someone who had sat behind her in class. Someone who was now convinced that she belonged to him.

“It’s late,” she said. “I’d better let you go. I…just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Promise you’ll stay in touch?”

“As often as I can.”

“And call Mother. She misses you.”

Darian swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat. “I miss her, too. I miss all of you. I love you, Nathan.”

“I love you, too…sis.”

The line went dead then, and Darian tossed the phone into the trash can where she would get rid of it first thing in the morning, just as she’d disposed of all the other connections to her past.

Turning off the bedside lamp, she snuggled down under the covers, but it was a long time before she fell asleep. Sometime after she finally dozed off, she was jerked awake by a strange sound.

Darian lay listening in the dark, her heart pounding in fear.

The noise had come from Mr. Delgado’s empty apartment. It was an odd, muted rasp that sounded as if something was being pulled through the walls.