Mother of All Myths

Mother of All Myths
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Aminatta Forna. Mother of All Myths

Contents

chapter 1 Introduction: The Motherhood Myth

chapter 2 A Brief History of Motherhood

Maternal instinct versus maternal reality

The creation of maternal love

Scientific motherhood

Conclusion

chapter 3 Pygmalion Mother: The Making of the Modern Myth. Testimony: Barbara

Frederick Truby King

John Bowlby

Towards a child-centred philosophy of childcare

Mother-infant bonding: the creation of a modern fable

The guru legacy

chapter 4 Motherhood in Popular Culture. Testimony: Rebecca

The pregnancy police

The foetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) scare

Low milk and yuppie mothers

Selflessness, selfishness and the rise of maternal correctness

The war against single mothers

chapter 5 Future Perfect. Testimony: Afton

The commercialization of reproductive technology

The baby trail: IVF

Surrogacy

Do we have a ‘right’ to children?

chapter 6 Persecuting Mothers: Motherhood and the Law. Testimony: Karen

America invents foetal rights

The emergence of foetal rights in Britain

The road to foetal rights

When a mother kills and abuses

chapter 7 Other Mothers: Cross-cultural Motherhood. Testimony: Sonia

A mother’s work

One mother, other mothers

A child of one’s own

Guilt

Conclusions

chapter 8 Left Holding the Baby: How Politicians Manipulate Mothers. Half a revolution

Moulding motherhood: policy and practice

Whose job is it anyway?

All our children: social parenting

chapter 9 Conclusion: Relinquishing the Myth

The challenge for women

The challenge for men

The challenge for everyone

Notes

Index

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher

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AMINATTA FORNA

MOTHER OF ALL MYTHS

.....

There is another school of scholarship quietly growing, away from the spotlight. Psychologists such as Susie Orbach, Ann Dally and Diane Eyer argue that ‘traditional’ ideas about motherhood are neither natural nor helpful to children or women. Indeed, the narrow, exclusive mothering style can even be harmful. Eyer and Dally argue that the relationship between mothers and their children has palpably failed to thrive in the artificially claustrophobic world of the private, nuclear family. Nor are children or women helped that such an immensely important task as childrearing (which today requires almost superhuman capabilities) is placed principally on the shoulders of just one person. No one person can do it all; no one person was ever meant to.

Think about how obsessed we are with our mothers. They have the capacity to disappoint us, anger us, frustrate us and burden us in a way no one else does. The entire discipline of psychoanalysis was built on the back of the mother-child relationship. Today, people enter analysis, seek therapy and attend re-parenting classes because of their relationship with their mothers. In sitcoms, relationships with mothers are a source of humour. In Mad About You Jamie develops a facial tic every time her mother visits; Roseanne cannot abide her mother; the humour in Absolutely Fabulous wittily confounds mother stereotypes. There are innumerable books, films and plays containing the same theme: Psycho, Postcards from the Edge, the Debbie Reynolds satire Mother (which, despite a sympathetic portrayal of the mother figure, nevertheless confirms its own thesis that she is to blame for her son’s problems). During the writing of this book I asked a group of friends gathered at my home one evening how many of them had problems with their mothers. Everyone raised a hand. Every single one! One claimed his mother was too domineering; another was angry at his mother spending so much time at work; a third felt her mother favoured her elder sister and the lack of encouragement she received was the reason why her career was stagnant; a fourth rejected the imposition of his mother’s values; and a fifth felt that now she was an adult, her mother had forgotten her. For a group of normal, intelligent, functioning people to have so many grievances towards their mothers is not at all natural, nor is it desirable, however common it may have become.

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