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Amy Morin. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
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Contents
Introduction
What is Mental Strength?
The Basis of Mental Strength
Choose Behavior Based on Balanced Emotions and Rational Thinking
The Truth about Mental Strength
The Benefits of Mental Strength
How to Develop Mental Strength
Chapter 1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
Self-Pity Party
Why We Feel Sorry for Ourselves
The Problem with Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Behave in a Manner that Makes it Hard to Feel Sorry for Yourself
Replace thoughts that Encourage Self-Pity
Exchange Self-Pity for Gratitude
Giving Up Self-Pity will Make you Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 2. They Don’t Give away their Power
Empowering other People to have Power Over You
Why We Give away Our Power
The Problem with Giving away Your Power
Reclaim Your Power
Identify People Who have taken Your Power
Reframe Your Language
Think before You React
Evaluate Feedback Critically
Recognize Your Choices
Taking back Your Power will make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 3. They Don’t Shy away from Change
To Change or Not to Change
Why We Shy away from Change
Types of Change
Readiness for Change
The Five Stages of Change
Fear
Avoiding Discomfort
Grief
The Problem with Shying Away from Change
Accept Change
Identify the Pros and Cons of Changing
Develop an Awareness of Your Emotions
Manage Negative Thoughts
Create a Successful Plan for Change
Behave Like the Person You want to Become
Embracing Change Will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 4. They Don’t focus on things they can’t Control
Keeping Everything Under Control
Why We try to Control Everything
Locus of Control
The Problem with Wasting Energy on things You can’t Control
Develop a Balanced Sense of Control
Identify Your Fears
Focus on What You can Control
Influence People without Trying to Control Them
Practice Acceptance
Giving Up Control Will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 5. They Don’t Worry about Pleasing Everyone
People-Pleasing Signs
Why We Try to Please People
Fear
Learned Behavior
The Problem with People Pleasing
Your Assumptions Aren’t Always True
People Pleasing Damages Relationships
People Pleasers Lose Sight of their Values
Avoid People Pleasing
Determine Who You Want to Please
Clarify Your Values
Take Time to Decide whether to say Yes or No
Practice Behaving Assertively
Accepting that You Can’t Please Everyone Makes You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
Risk Aversion
Why We avoid Risks
Emotion Prevails Over Logic
We Don’t think about Risks
The Problem with Fearing Risk
You Don’t Get to be Extraordinary without taking Calculated Risks
Emotion Interferes with Making Logical Choices
Calculate Risks and Reduce Fear
Balance Emotion with Logic
Minimize Risk Maximize Success
Practice Taking Risks
Taking Calculated Risks Makes You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past
Stuck in History
Why We Dwell on the Past
The Fear of Moving Forward Makes Us Want to Stay Stuck in the Past
Dwelling on the Past Distracts You from the Present
The Problem with Dwelling on the Past
Stop the Past from Holding You Back
Shift Your Thinking
Make Peace with the Past
How Making Peace with the Past will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
Repeat Offender
Why We Make the Same Mistakes
The Problem with Repeating Our Mistakes
Avoid Making the Same Blunders Over and Over Again
Study the Mistake
Create a Plan
Practice Self-Discipline
Learning from Mistakes Will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 9. They Don’t Resent other People’s Success
Green with Envy
Why We Resent other People’s Success
The Problem with Resenting other People’s Success
Your View of Other People Isn’t Accurate
Curb Your Jealousy
Change Your Circumstances
Change Your Attitude
Focus on Cooperation Rather than Competition
Create Your Own Definition of Success
Practice Celebrating other People’s Accomplishments
How Embracing the Accomplishments of others will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 10. They Don’t Give Up after the First Failure
If at First You Don’t Succeed . .
Why We Give Up
The Problem with Giving in to Failure
Don’t Give Up
Identify Beliefs about Failure that Prevent You from Trying Again
Change the Way You think about Failure
Face Your Fear of Failure
Move Forward after Failure
Bouncing Back after Failure will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time
Solitude Phobia
Why We avoid being Alone
The Problem with Fearing Solitude
Get Comfortable Being Alone
Practice Tolerating Silence
Schedule a Date with Yourself
Learn Meditation
Steps to Simple Meditation
Mindfulness Skills
Ways to Practice Mindfulness
How Embracing alone Time will Make You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes them Anything
Center of the Universe
Why We Feel the World Owes Us Something
The Problem with a Sense of Entitlement
Get Over Yourself
Develop Self-Awareness of Your Sense of Entitlement
Focus on Giving, Not Taking
Behave Like a Team Player
Practicing Humility Makes You Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Chapter 13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
Patience Isn’t Your Virtue
Why We Expect Immediate Results
The Problem with Expecting Immediate Results
Commit to the Long Haul
Create Realistic Expectations
Recognize that Progress Isn’t always Obvious
Practice Delaying Gratification
Delaying Gratification Makes Us Stronger
Troubleshooting and Common Traps
Conclusion Maintaining Mental Strength
Coach Yourself
Fruits of Your Labor
Acknowledgments
References. Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
About the Publisher
