Читать книгу Heart At Risk - Ana Leigh - Страница 12

Never married! The last thing Kurt expected to hear. He’d figured Maddie merely used her maiden name professionally like a lot of women did today.

A thought popped into his head. Had the guy she was waiting for last night on Poorman’s Peak fathered Scotty? Some bastard who had knocked her up then went home to his wife, kids and happy home? That could be why she was still single. She’d probably been having a running affair with the guy for the past ten years. He felt the rise of anger. And who ultimately pays the price—the kid!

Not your problem, Bolen, so move on.

He threw up his hands in defeat. “I’ve really heard more than I care to. This is none of my business.”

He figured that was as good an exit line as any. So it was time to exit stage right. “Nice seeing you again, Maddie. Take care of Scotty. He’s a great kid.”

Maddie had struggled with how she should handle the issue of Kurt Bolen. Her initial knee-jerk reaction when he had suddenly appeared in Vandergriff had been one of panic—the possibility that he would disrupt her world. She had gone as far as demonizing him to justify this fear. And then this same man had saved Scotty’s life.

For the past nine years she’d been justified in raising Scotty without revealing the identity of his father—she’d had no idea whether Kurt Bolen was alive or dead. But now that he was here, even though he had no intention of remaining, was it fair to let him leave without telling him he had a son?

And if God had brought Kurt back for a reason, she had to face that reality and consider Scotty’s needs—not her own, not Kurt Bolen’s—but Scotty’s.

She’d be blind if she didn’t see how much her son worshipped this man already. Was it jealousy on her part to even struggle with the issue? Fear that she no longer would be the center of Scotty’s devotion. Of course not. Scotty worshipped Aunt Beth, too. And besides, Scotty had so much love in his young heart, it was only natural for him to reach out to Kurt.

If only she knew more about Kurt. What he’d been up to in the past ten years. Married? Divorced? Other children?

There she was at it again. She wasn’t the omnipotent being in the issue. It wasn’t her decision. A power much greater than she had made the decision—and she had to have the faith to trust the outcome.

“Kurt, wait. Are you religious at all?”

“Enough to believe that whatever choices you make along the way will not change your destiny, whether you die young from an infected hangnail or in old age from senility.”

She looked at him a moment then sighed. “Before you leave there’s something I must tell you.”

“Maddie, I don’t want to know. I’ve heard all I want to hear. I’m just an ex-schoolmate passing through town. I’m not interested in hearing your family secrets, much less where the bodies are buried.”

Maddie hesitated. He was giving her the excuse to ease her conscience if she let him leave without telling him. Then, once again, she reminded herself that this wasn’t about her interests or Kurt’s; this was about what was good for Scotty.

Maddie took a deep breath. “I think you might be interested in what I have to say. Kurt, you’re Scotty’s father.”

Too stunned to speak, Kurt stared at her until he found his voice. “What in hell are you trying to pull, lady? Is this some kind of con to put a squeeze on me?”

“No, it’s not. I just thought you should know. Please feel free to leave.”

“You’re damn right I’m leaving.”

Kurt spun on his heel and headed back inside to get his pack. He got as far as the third step, then hesitated and came back.

“Why me? That story might have worked with other men, but I’ve never laid a hand on you, so why try it with me?”

“Kurt, I said you were free to leave. I struggled with telling you the truth from the time you showed up here. Now that I have, my conscience is clear and if you don’t choose to believe me, at least I did put it out on the table.”

“That must have been one hell of a struggle since it took you ten years to tell me.”

“And how would I have done so sooner, when I had no idea where to find you?”

“I don’t know why I’m even pursuing this argument. But for a starter, when I left town Joey knew I headed to Milwaukee to enlist in the navy.”

“By the time I realized I was pregnant, Joey had left here himself. I didn’t tell anyone the name of Scotty’s father.”

“You still could have tracked me down through the government. I wasn’t in hiding.”

Her eyes flashed angrily. “And if I had nothing better to do with my excessive wealth, I suppose I could have run a personal ad in every newspaper in the country, too—Kurt Bolen, all is forgiven. Come home and meet your son.”

“You’ve got a good sell there, lady, but I’m not buying.”

“Well, thank you again, for saving my son. I’m indebted to you for giving him to me ten years ago—and again today. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She started to pass him, but his hand on her arm prevented her.

“Oh, you’re good, baby. You’re good! If I didn’t know better, I’d start believing you myself. Why would you even try such a ridiculous scheme, when we both know nothing ever happened?”

“It happened,” she said, and brushed aside his hand and opened the screen door.

“Like when? The world’s already had one immaculate conception and I don’t frequent sperm banks.”

She turned her head, and her look was withering. “Try ten years ago, Kurt, on the night of our graduation.”

The screen door slammed behind her.

Kurt followed her into the house. “What about the night of graduation?”

Maddie cast a stricken look at Beth. “I’ve said all I prefer to on the subject.”

“Is that right? Well tough, lady. You don’t drop a bombshell like this and then walk away. I want answers.”

“It appears the two of you have an issue to resolve, so if you don’t mind finishing the dishes, Maddie, I’ll go to my room,” Beth said. “Thank you again, Kurt, for what you did this morning, and if I don’t see you again, good luck in the future.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

“You said you were leaving,” Maddie accused.

For a long moment their determined gazes clashed, then Kurt looked at Beth. “That is if you have no objection, Beth.”

“Of course not. I’ll break the good news to Scotty.” She hurried away.

“I knew it would be a mistake to tell you about Scotty,” Maddie said, and began to put away the dishes.

“What do you expect? You opened this can of worms. Why wouldn’t I want answers?”

“What difference does it make now? It happened ten years ago.”

“If I’m to believe you, the difference is upstairs in his bedroom.”

Frustrated, Maddie dropped a glass and it splintered. She bent down to pick up the pieces and in her haste she cut her finger. It began to bleed.

Kurt rushed over and turned on the faucet. “Get your finger under this cold water. Where’s the disinfectant?”

“In the cabinet in the powder room.”

“Keep your finger under that cold water until I get back.”

He returned shortly with the tin of bandages and a bottle of disinfectant. “Let me take a look.”

His hand was warm and incredibly gentle as he patted the finger dry with tissue and checked the cut. His nearness and the warmth of his touch gave an incredible sense of comfort—and an unexpected excitement.

It had been ten years since Maddie had been this aware of a man’s touch—especially a man she’d been physically attracted to. And Lord knows, Kurt Bolen was physically attractive. Now, more than ever. She could well imagine the trail of broken hearts that followed him.

Don’t even go there, Maddie.

She felt foolish as he sprayed on disinfectant. “I’m fine.”

“Just the same, let’s get a bandage on it to keep it clean.”

He has beautiful hands, she thought as he pressed the gauze strip around the cut. Gentle, yet firm and comforting. His fingers were long and tan, the nails clipped and clean.

And his nearness still generated the same excitement she’d always felt around him. So close she could feel the heat of his body—yet so out of reach as if miles separated them.

Lord, Maddie, the man is a threat to life as you know it, so get over schoolgirl romanticizing.

He moved instinctively to the closet and came back with a broom and dustpan in hand. Within minutes he’d disposed of the shattered glass.

At least the accident had dissolved her anger and appeared to have done the same to his.

“Do you suppose we can sit down and discuss this situation like two sensible adults, Maddie?”

She chuckled. “If we’d done that ten years ago, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. There’s still some coffee left, are you interested?”

Kurt shook his head. “I could use a beer.”

“Sorry, we don’t have any.”

He shoved back his chair and stood up. “Then how about a ride? I’m beginning to feel the walls closing in on me.”

There was no traffic on the road, and the soft hum of the car and occasional chatter of starlings were the only sounds that invaded the quiet summer night.

Her life had become ludicrous. Nothing was normal anymore. How could she be sitting beside Kurt Bolen in the intimacy of a car, driving down the same road as if there hadn’t been a lapse of ten years?

“How’s your leg feeling?” she finally asked, breaking the silence between them.

“Fine. The pills killed the pain.”

“Are you bothered often?”

“No. The leg rarely bothers me anymore.”

“I didn’t mean your leg. I meant your edginess, the feeling of being confined, the walls closing in on you that you spoke of earlier.”

“Is this your 101 Shrink class, Professor?”

“You’re right. It’s none of my business.”

He drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Truth is I wouldn’t last a week in a 9 to 5 office job if that’s what you mean.”

Whether by intention or not, they’d ended up at Poorman’s Peak. He parked and turned off the engine.

“Aunt Beth said you told her you work for the government. What bureau?” she asked.

“I’m not here to talk about myself, Maddie. I want to know why you accused me of fathering Scotty.”

“Kurt, let me make myself clear from the start. As far as Scotty goes, I’m not asking anything from you regarding responsibility or child support. I only told you what I did to clear my conscience.”

“Drop all the bull and tell me why you accuse me of being Scotty’s father when I never laid a hand on you.”

It was obvious he was fighting to quell his irritation, so she took a deep breath and for the second time in as many evenings, Maddie relived the events of that long ago evening, avoiding only the embarrassing confession of the secret feelings she’d had for him at the time.

As she spoke, Kurt watched the changing expressions on her face. She was either the world’s best actress or was telling him the truth—because he believed her. This was the nagging thing he hadn’t been able to remember about her earlier. Fleeting images began to flicker in and out of his mind.

“I remember waking up the next morning in front of my shanty. So you drove me home that night.”

“It was either that or leave you up here all night. You’d passed out and could have been charged with a DUI.”

“So here’s where Scotty was conceived.” He glanced below at Stoneville. “Thank God you got him out of there, Maddie.”

Kurt turned on the car and pulled out. He had a lot to think about—a lot of decisions to make. Maddie must have realized this, and was quiet on the ride back.

“I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow to get checked out, but then I’m coming back to work out some arrangement with you,” Kurt said when they reached the house.

Don’t panic. Stay calm, she warned herself. “Kurt, I meant what I said. I don’t need or want your help. I’ve gotten along thus far without it. If you simply keep me informed of an address where you can be reached in the event of an emergency, there would be no reason for you to remain.”

“I think that’s not entirely your decision to make. Since I’ve just discovered I have a son, I’d like to spend some time with him. Maybe you should pass that question by Scotty, and see what he thinks.”

So this was the start of his interference—the very reason she had hesitated to tell him. “I beg you, Kurt, please don’t tell Scotty the truth until we work this out. He’s the one who can be hurt by it all.”

“What did you tell him about his father?”

“I told him his father left before he even knew I was going to have a baby.”

“Well, thank you for that. At least you didn’t make me sound like a child deserter.”

“I did it so that Scotty would never think his father left because of him. I understand children often do so when their parents split up.”

Maddie got out of the car and went into the house. As soon as Kurt locked the door behind them, she said goodnight and headed up the stairs.

“And, Maddie,” Kurt said behind her, “I think Scotty should call me Kurt—unless you prefer Dad.”