Читать книгу The monk, who bought a Mercedes - Andrei Prosin - Страница 4

Find a job to find and close gaps on the border. In the documents, it can be useful. I would be useful. But none of this is unfortunately not yet necessary.

The problem of the Russian border is that the bases for pedestrians and cars are not connected.

And the border guards do not see traffic on the bases of the automobile and pedestrian, and what is happening in general at the border in real time. Combine with time.

The problem of the border is that all visitors to Europeans for large amounts returned on the way back, it is necessary to issue gpsbeacons embedded in some kind of cover for the migration list of stay in Russia. May do with time. The trick is that big money will never be returned to foreigners due to the endlessness of the flow of visitors and in addition to covering the costs of the beacons, a decent amount of additional money will remain in the accounts of the state.

Would introduce bonuses for border guards, as in tsarist Russia. With a delayed smuggling load 10% would be strongly stimulated. And the award checker for special merits would be given the same as it was issued in the Rosguards with an imitation of a gilded handle.

Once a European with the rights did not know how to drive and we passed a barrier like that. I kept the shift knob from the backseat. And another Russian guy from the front passenger seat was holding the steering wheel.

And after that we drove along the old post-war road, which is made by a snake. Especially for the maneuver from the bombing, there are off the beaten paths and such roads. I felt with my back that I had to press the brake, a KAMAZ flew to the meeting at that moment, and there was a jeep behind me. I pressed the brake and saw in front of the hood the back of a jeep that almost caught up with oncoming KAMAZ. You should have seen the face of a European behind who almost got dirty seats :)

It was fun to drive without stopping for 12 hours at the port of Kaunas, and then find out that in order to pick up a car fromAmerica from the port, you need to pay 20% for customs clearance to the territory of Europe. Understand what we got for money. Turn around and go back 12 hours without stopping back.

Evacuator from Europe to Russia is exactly two times cheaper. Than than the other way around from Russia to Europe.

Sometimes you come to get a car, and the ice is terrible and everything is swept up with snow. A car on bald tires. And you buy beads with a cross, hang them on a rear-view mirror, you go and pray for two days. Helps to learn to pray.

It happens a hundred kilometers from a populated city in the winter at night on the highway you tear the timing belt. It is necessary to call a tow truck, wait for it, and then pay him 100 euros for delivery to the service. And sleep in the car waking up from time to time from the fact that you are cold through and through. And in the morning, buy the necessary timing belt for 20 euros and another 10 euros for you to install it. And you go on.

It happens that you ride, and suddenly one type brings you a fire extinguisher just in case. And at this time one of the eighty lights in the road on one of the electric protivotumanok below the front bumper. And a fire extinguisher saves the car. A partner, a hundred meters away from the client, almost enters the fencing in the form of a hanging chain. And the buyer does not notice one burned fog lamp.

And sometimes, you bring a car for free, almost fraternally, so as not to sit still. And then you two months fuck brains, claiming that you have to return 100 euros for minor repairs. They go “resent and spit.”

It was cool once, a European brought a car stuffed with expensive equipment and on expensive disks, twice as expensive as the cost of a car.

Minor repairs on the road, windows, light bulbs, a common thing. For which no one bothers you.

And when you take out a five hundred Euro bill in a store to pay off, the cashier stares his eyes, says “Russian” and runs off after the administrator and the exchange.

When you carry 10—20 thousand euros in your pocket. Then all the risks for the money only on you. Risks for all actions from the door of the buyer and back to the door of the buyer.

When passing through the border, sometimes it happens so long they don’t let it pass, so do the nerves that you begin to quietly imperceptibly pray. After all, if they do not miss, then go back, something is there, spend the night somewhere, again take a queue at another customs point, wait for an electronic queue from immediately to one day, and only then will they let it pass again or not.Some customs officers have a chuikka, everything is in order with the documents and they just hold you in front of the barrier or until you leave. In principle, well done.

A pawn is a person who for 5—10 euros will carry up to 50 kg of cargo on foot across the border. Or 3 bottles of alcohol. Etc.

A tankman is a European who carries a car to the buyer.

A bucket is a car that you carry.

Zalipukha – the documents are decorated by Europeans on a drunken shop and they contain errors.

Monkey, this is one of the carriers. Because he always stood behind the customs fence, waved his hands and shouted something to the tank driver, prompted. Customs officers gave funny names to all carriers. In principle, carriers and customs officers laughed at each other with great pleasure.

Border guards and living transportation of goods live in the same village. In childhood, they go to school together. Everyone knows each other. Everyone has relatives living on that side, “abroad.”

Once we were driving in two cars and we were stopped by a European traffic police. They said that we exceeded the speed. How did they know it, because the car they have is back to us. The phrase do not leave the children without candy played and took only 30 euros.

Another time, traffic police officers jumped out of the forest at night with flashlights and hung with reflective elements. At first, I thought I saw aliens.

Then he approached European police noticed that the back row of seats is empty cans of beer. A European sitting beside saws. But our car had a Russian radio pattern. Which is in Europe. And I say to a European, your wife from Russian radio will swear hard. DPS officers left the car, made out the monograms and stopped smiling. It was necessary to see how just that two smiles from ear to ear turn into a European sad look of the face. We were released.

Do not eat – do not understand how to execute documents.

Watermelon – you can deal with this person, he is not a drug addict and will not let you down.

Academician is flattery to a person who understands and helps well in any situation.

To drive on the ice or out of the sand on the beach, you can drop a little wheel.

It is good when there is an electric pumping. One time there was a crack on the disk and the wheel all the time lowered. And there was no time. I had to drive 1000 km stopping every hour and pumping up the wheel with electric pumping from the cigarette lighter.

Once on a forest road, at night in the rain on gras in July, I had to drive using only the navigator. Turns the navigator showed with the distance from them. And only driving in the middle of the road saved me from a collision with a man who came to meet me in my lane.